Urban theory

Urban theory

Half year later.

The corridor in an apartment building was cold and off-putting. But so was pretty much everything to him after what he’d been trough these past few days.

Rikimaru sat on the floor of the corridor that was painted in light green. The floor was made of hard tiles and there were one window near the roof to bring the grey day light in. He leaned to his knees and stared at the wall opposite him. All was lost.

Where would he go now? What would he do? All he knew he couldn’t take in anything that would have demanded careful concentration. His mind drifted back to last summer when it had all began.

He was so… perfect. Looking so out of character in middle of those rich people, who were full of them selves …He wasn’t at all what I had expected… Quite the opposite… strange, his looks too classy to fit his personality…

Flashback ---

Rikimaru was standing in front of a piece of art. For some reason it had captured his attention like it had been made of magic. He was unaware that someone was evaluating him like he’d been part of the exhibition.

He sipped the champagne as his other hand was in his pocket. He knew he should have gone to talk to people and would probably do so after he’d seen all the works and read all the tags under them. He started to look for the little white paper somewhere near the corner of this painting when was interrupted.

“So what do you think it is?” His voice was very low, but soft. It was little harder than Rikimaru would imagine his own voice to be.

The man who spoke to him was wearing a black suit under it a white shirt with one button casually open. He had a long black hair that was tied in pony tail behind his back and left to from as casual curve as his whole being was.

They both looked at the painting. Rikimaru was confused and unsure was it him he’d been pen friends with the past month.

“…Is it a drink?”

“Hmmm, yes… The liquid heaven.” He smirked and shortly their eyes met each other. He offered his hand saying his name and added “…but my friends call me Oni.”

The low voice of accepting was still tingling in Rikimaru’s abdomen when he shook his hand. He had had no intentions to get more than an interesting conversation of this meeting.

“Rikimaru Azuma… you can call me Riki, if you want.”

---

So we talked and talked and I forgot that I was supposed to meet prospect clients for the firm. Well fuck the firm! They took my time well enough.

He told me about his work as an artist and embarrassing things about the other guests we both seemed to hate. I told about my work as a lawyer and about the senior associates and that I had thought martial arts while I still had been a student. You know, all the casual and half casual things you can say when your mind is really somewhere else.

Flashback ---

They stood near the railing at the second floor when Rikimaru felt the other man leaning closer to say something in a low voice. He didn’t really care what it was. Slightly his chest was pressing to his arm and shoulder while his mouth was so close to his ear Rikimaru could feel the warm breath. Oni made the whole series of movements seem natural like he had just accidentally staggered into his friend’s private space.

He smiled to his comment as he thought he should and looked to a croup his friend had pointed with a slight nod.

It had been a long time since he’d properly dated anyone or even taken someone home with him. He had no time for such. Being the second youngest associate in a law firm wasn’t definitely a piece of cake. Thought it wasn’t all bad; the work had calmed him down in frames of reason.

His friend might not be as into him as he hoped he would be. Maybe he was just imagining it as it had been such a long time. For all he knows his friend was so friendly and close just because he thought there could be anything that would have been uncomfortable in public between two men.

---

Finally we both got bored to the atmosphere and decided to leave. Before that I had mentally lectured my self that nothing was going to happen. I should just enjoy the evening, go home and sleep trough Sunday. I tried not flirt too much but old habits die hard. When the silence landed between us and it was time to leave, he suddenly told me that he had to show me something and of course. the something was at his place.

Now it feels so damn obvious! Pathetic even… And I just smiled to myself looking for a taxi with my eyes. Of course I agreed.

Flashback ---

The flat was enormous. How an artist could have the money for it, Rikimaru thought. Maybe his daddy was a big company boss all thought he didn’t seem a spoiled brat.

“So, what is you wanted to show me?” He asked looking around his living room that nearly was as big as his own flat.

“Huh? …Oh yes… this…” He pointed a painting that was under a white sheet. The canvas was bigger than the one in the exhibition. “…I…a…” He started leaning to its frame and looking to it trough the sheet and then on the ground hesitating.

“…Should we put the lights on?” Rikimaru suggested remotely looking for a switch, but only remotely.

The room was dim. Only light that came in to the room was the lights of the city and the mere electric yellow glow over the kitchen.

“…I wanted you to see this but…” Oni moved to look at him standing in front of it. “…It’s not quite ready yet…” He smiled sheepishly. “And I don’t feel quite enough comfortable showing it… to anyone…” He looked the white sheet like he’d seen trough it and seen his own faults in it. He bites his lips and then smiles, laughing half nervously. “Sorry to drag you in here… you mind?”

Maybe Oni was afraid he might get the wrong idea. “…No…” Rikimaru says suddenly like he’d just been woken up from dreaming. “…I should go… It’s late…” He walks to the hallway leading to a door.

Oni follows him there while he puts his jacket on. “…It’s Sunday, tomorrow…?”

“Yeah?” He doesn’t want to leave and hangs back while adjusting his scarf.

“So? Where’s the fire?”

Rikimaru would have laughed the comment if Oni hadn’t moved so close as he talked. It was hard not look those lips and concentrate getting out. He had to get out before he’d do something wrong. He had a gut feeling this was a bad idea. Was he coming on to him, he couldn’t believe it was so. “…I… just… it’s kinda… late?”

---

So that’s when and how it all began. I stayed the whole Sunday with him.

We started to spend more time together. He sneaked in to my life and fitted like he’d all ways belonged there. He tricked me by pretending to be curious about me and kept his own business his own. Didn’t really noticed it until now. Probably because he didn’t want to accidentally slip anything. I felt like I had always known him and now he’s a stranger.

Could a stranger make me feel this bad as I feel now?

He made me feel things that I had never felt towards anyone else. And not just in the sack, because if it had been only that, then this would be a lot easier to deal with. Maybe I’d get a one night stand too and go back to him after?

How long has it been now? Since I caught him. Two? Three days?

Flashback ---

Rikimaru quickly rose up the stairs to the apartment in 4th floor. He had a smile on his face and a big bag over his shoulder.

He had been out of town the weekend; lawyers annual meeting. Working weekends were really quite fun unless you missed all the activity by using your time thinking of your lover and his latest idea.

They had seen last time at Friday morning. Rikimaru wasn’t quite sure which one of them had brought the subject up. Although he remembered Oni saying that it was waste of money and space to keep too apartments when they spend nearly all their time together. His apartment was more than enough for both of them. How much more closer can you get the phrase; you, move in with me, with out actually saying the words?

He was coming home to stay and couldn’t be happier.

Rikimaru shook his head on the door still smiling. When had he last time been so ridiculously happy? My gosh, he thought, someone should really put a bullet trough my head, because his face was starting to hurt. He looked for his key card and slipped it trough.

He stepped in wondering was he home and heard noises from the living room. Someone was giggling and then someone spoke. Rikimaru couldn’t tell what the voices were saying.

The smile had faded away slowly and soon his mood came crashing down.

He rushed out, as quickly as he could and as quiet whit out being noticed. He felt sick and tiers rushed to his eyes.

He hold them down and got a taxi.

He didn’t know where to go. His thoughts were all mixed up and all he knew for certain was that he couldn’t face him right now if ever. He couldn’t go home; he might come to look for him.

---

Rikimaru sighted staring at the roof now letting his arms hang over his knees. He wasn’t quite sure how had he spend the last days. Where had all the time gone?

When he’d left from Oni’s place he’d first thought to go in a bar but then realized he didn’t want to see a soul. He went to his office which was empty on Sunday. First thing he did was to write a resignation letter and then he gave it to the board in a middle of the meeting on a Monday morning. Then he went in to a motel and slept, cried. It was all a big blur and confusion.

He thought things over. What made his live worth living? He’d beaten himself up first by studying then working his ass off for the firm. Was he happy? He missed his friends, all night long parties, one-night stands, drugs… all the things he couldn’t do as a lawyer, because it would have jeopardise his career.

That would have to wait now, the career, he thought. He didn’t want to be tied down to anything that reminded him for the past.

Jawing woman about his age rose up the stairs. She had a long black hair falling over her shoulders and a dark blue water coat that was wet. Apparently it had started raining outside while he’d sat on the hallway.

“…Rikimaru?” She asked surprised and saw his hurt. “…What’s wrong?”

“…Didn’t you mention last week… that you needed a room mate…?”

She leaned to his knees kneeling down to get a better look at him.

“…You didn’t have to give up your apartment just because I have trouble paying my rent…?”

“…Call it a act of good will… do you already have someone?”

She shook her head. “…Come on in… and tell me all…?”