Somewhere I Belong

Chapter Two
An Ill Fated Journey?

~*~
I must look a sight. I am dirty and tired and hungry. I’ve been alternating riding and walking for two moons now. Epona hardly seems fazed, but I feel lousy. I really miss the forest, and, Saria. I thought we might have had a chance, but as fate has it, she chose a different path. She told me to leave, because I was not trapped like her, that I should go while I could. I regret it, and I don’t. I’m starting to think it was a sign.
I have a question though, a question for myself. I only stopped once in all this distance, and it was the last time I stopped because I alarmed myself so much. I quit my days journey to stay in a farmers’ barn. I kept watching his son bailing hay without his shirt on, the golden sinking sun bronzing his skin to glistening perfection. He was very good looking, all the girls who lived on that dirt road were out there watching him. And so was I. I wasn’t watching the girls…no, no, not at all. I was watching him and thinking about him the way most men think about girls. It was so alarming that I left at first light. I am not sure if I am comfortable with the way that I feel… or maybe it is because I know so little of these things…
The road is giving way to paved cobblestone, Hyrule Castle Town must not be far now. Epona drops her head, stretching her neck down to snort the dust off the cobbles, it is as if she is taking a deep breath of memories that I cannot follow with my finite senses. I have never been here before, but my heart tells me I have. It clenches in pain in my chest as we crest the hill and are able to see the castle. Why? I have the sudden urge to cry. My back feels light, too light, as if I am missing carrying something heavy, my hand twitches at Epona’s mane, as if it is not its customary resting place. And deep down, I am horribly lonely. Someone should be beside me. And they are not.
Epona plods patiently across the bridge, her hooves making a funny, echoey “clip-clop” as the sound is resonated between the bridge and the water. We are entering Hyrule territory, the flags at the end of the wooden bridge tell me that. I turn my head to see them snapping in the breeze. /A flutter of wraps…a blaze of blue and leather, piercing red eyes…/ I startle back to reality. What is wrong with me?
We enter the town and I check in at the inn, the only inn in town. I pay my money, see that Epona is settled in the stables, and then stagger up to my room. One of the serving girls had already drawn me a bath. For an extra rupee she will clean my clothes, or so she said. I stand by my bed and peer through the bathroom door.
The robe next to the steaming water assures me that she will indeed see to my clothes. It is mid afternoon and I am not hungry. The sun is still high, so she should have them dry by the time I decide to hit a tavern and try and scare up something to eat. The hot water looks great; the fire stoked under the wooden tub in the corner looks cheerful enough. The serving girls here are quick. They build the fire from under the wall, needing only shove more wood under it from the outside so as not to disturb. There is a small high up barred window that lets in afternoon sun as well as lets a bather communicate with the girls, who can stoke the fir let let it die to the bathers taste. I toss my hat onto the bed carelessly and step into the bathroom. The hotter that water, the better.
I strip slowly, feeling more like I am peeling my dirty tunic and undershirt off then I am removing them. I pause to look at myself in the mirror set up next to the tub. My chest is not quite broad, but nicely defined. There is a proud slope to my shoulders that I swear was not there last year. I am lean and toned from stomach to waist, I run my hands up my smooth chest, and then softly brush a dusky nipple. I almost moan aloud. That felt a little too good. I shouldn’t be doing something like this in an inn with paper-thin walls. Besides, I just embarrass myself, feel guilty when I do something like this... So I stop. I step out of ootsoots and set them outside the door, and then slip out of my silver leggings, folding them neatly on top of my tunic. I struggle into the robe only long enough to set my laundry outside in the main hall, a rupee underneath it.
I shut the door and lock it behind me. I shut the windows to the bedroom, and then step back into the steamy warmth of the bathroom. Letting the robe fall to my feet with a sigh, I study my legs, now long and lean. Definitely not the legs of a Kokiri. Pure muscle, all of me. Yet I do nothing but survive, my body sculpts itself. I have received a few appreciative looks, from the tips of my long pointy ears to my sparkling blue eyes and unruly mop of shoulder length blond hair. I think they are appreciative looks, but it is hard to tell. I really don’t know that much about ME. I don’t even know what the customary behaviors for my species is. Hylian’s… do the love each other? Do they mate for life? Are they like the Gerudo’s, loving the same sex because they have no choice? Are they like the Kokiri in their habits of simpler, non-physical love? I am probably more Gerudo than Hylian or Kokiri then. Yet why do I feel that the Hylian’s might view loving another male wrong of me? I want to know, yet I cannot ask the question. I have this terminal case of shyness and I don’t much care for being laughed at either. So I don’t ask. But is it wrong I wonder, to want to know what you are, who you are? There is this whole part of me missing that I know nothing about. Am I just an echo of that existence? Am I the dark or the light? Or am I just lacking the memories that made up WHO I was. I don’t know, and I am sick of thinking.
I settle into the hot water, hissing as it mercilessly digs its fingers into my scrapes and scratches and sore muscles. I am going straight to bed after this. I have done nothing but think aloud to Epona for days. She hasn’t given me any answers yet, and I am probably going to drive myself crazy if I think about it too much.

~*~
I wake up slowly to someone knocking on the door. I have to bury a sigh of frustration into my pillow. I was at that perfect state of sleep. No dreams, wrapped in the last true hot light of the setting sun oozing through the closed shutters and feeling warm and golden and safe. But the knocking is persistent, and I am forced top myp my robe on and shove my bare feet into my boots. Shuffling to the door, hair no doubt tangled six ways, I open it a crack. A skinny, dark haired Hylian serving girl is holding my clean clothes. I open the door and gave her a gracious and radiant smile. As dazzling and as empty as Din’s fire, but brilliant all the same. It makes her giggle aloud.
“Here you are sir. Your patronage is appreciated.”
She couldn’t have been more than ten summers. I blinked. Why did that seem so significant. /The Tri-force symbol glowing scaldingly hot, silence, darkness cold, I failed! I must have failed, but am I dead? Where am I! Why am I so tall? Who are you?! Blue, leather, wraps blowing in the wind of a dead city, beckoning me on under the cover of darknesreetreet lamps./
“Mister, are you ok?”
I focus back as quickly as I can, knowing my face must be flushed and my eyes blurry. Saria always said that was how I looked when I had one of these fits.
“I’m sorry…” I stammer stupidly. “I just woke, not quite with it yet.”
Another smile.
Another giggle.
Yeah. I really hate this.
“Don’t worry sir, well, good day.”
“Wait!”
“Sir?”
“Is there a decent tavern around here?”
“Of course, just down the street and to the right.”
I thanked her again, fishing in my robe pocket and then pressed a rupee into her hand as thanks. She smiled gratefully, then took off at a run, giggling the whole way down the corridor.
I just managed to shut the door before I slumped to the floor. I rested my head on my knees, letting the adrenaline course freely, no longer having an audience; I didn’t care if my hands shook, or if my heart beat so hard it made my bangs sway in time. This was going to kill me. If thinking was driving me crazy, this was just going to do me in.

~*~
I leaned one elbow on the bar in a melancholy fashion; the other hand trailed my second pitcher of the night, nearly spilling the last of the contents. Some barfly had been here earlier and bought me the first pitcher when I told him I had never had beer before. All right, to be honest my head was only a few inches away from the polished hickory wood bar top. I wasn’t really that drunk, I knew what was going on, I just couldn’t stand. That guy was still eyeing me from across the room. He had been watching me for hours. But the way he was looking at me now, it set off a dozen alarm bells, or was that just my head pounding? Before I could blink, or maybe I did blink (or dozed off), he was beside me.
“My brother didn’t give you any trouble now did he?”
The bartender was clueless.
“No sir he didn’t. Just drunk, nothing more. Harmless.”
“Oh, I’m glad.” The man stated. Some Hylian, long chocolate brown hair that fell to his waist, deep brown eyes that I would have gladly drowned in if there wasn’t an aura of evil hanging above him a mile thick. If I thought I could trust him as far as I could throw him I would eat my hat; and I was not in any fit state to throw him.
Things came and went in flashes. Him ‘helping’ me out the door, dragging me into the allSuddSuddenly I was slammed against the cold, damp brickwork and his mouth was on mine. He wasn’t kissing me, he was devouring me and I most certainly did not want it.
“Gerrof me!” I growled
If this was how adult Hylian’s proclaimed inst, st, I was out. He ignored my struggling, and in retaliation I bit down on his intruding tongue and shoved roughly against his chest. Apparently it was hard enough of a shove because he staggered off of me. (my mouth tasted funny, something had dissolved on my tongue)
“You Bitch!” He spat.
“What is all this commotion?”
I startled, still leaning drunkenly against the wall. I looked up, and up, and up to meet the eyes of a soldier on horseback.
“Drunken and disorderly, Boy, you barely look of age!” He growled as he grabbed me by the tunic. My assailant took off then, barely noticed. I realized hazily how all of this must look, how guilty I must appear, and vowed to never drink again as I struggled mid air. This was nonsense. I was just about to tell the guard that he mis mistaken, that he had the wrong man when the dizziness overcame me. The town drunk in the cell next to me later told me I puked all over the guy. Go me?

~*~
I woke very slowly. I was shaking and could not stop, and I had a metallic taste in the back of my mouth. My vision was blurry and I was terribly thirsty. I felt a draft and cracked one eye fully open. I was on a floor in a pile of clean straw. Mercifully, it was clean. I hoped. I looked more slowly, blinking a few more times, and met the bottom of a barred gate. Tilting my head carefully so my brains would not fall out through my ear, I looked further up. I was in a cell. My arms hurt. Someone was gently shaking my shoulder, that must have been what woke me to begin with. I found myself staring blurrily into the concerned eyes of a young Hylian woman in a pale pink gown.
“This young man has been drugged.”
“He didn’t resist arrest, he need only serve a month and oh?…”
“Did it occur to you that perhaps he was just drunk and trying to fight off an attacker?”
“And…oh…you think it was that…criminal? That was the other man who fled the scene?!”
“What do you honestly think!” The woman spat. “And they call you the captain of the guard!”
“Princess, I hardly think that is a fair accusation considering my years of loyal service and…”
“Would you care to argue this further with Impa?” The princess snapped, gesturing to a Hylian woman in heavy leather and with an obviously huge chip on her shoulder. She had “bodyguard” written all over her and was patiently waiting outside the cell.
She knelt next to me then, cradling my face in her palm. I must have winced because she made an apologetic noise.
“I am sorry, I forgot that side of your face is bruised… ame ame is Zelda…I came here to interrogate you, but now see it is another matter entirely.”
/ She stood next to him, then where he used to be. He disappeared as he summoned her forth. More than her guardian, he had kept her safe within himself. He had had other matters to attend, they had merely switched places…her place was here at the moment. I blinked in the blinding light of the switch, Triforce burning my hand. “What?!”/
“What is wrong with him?!” The guard’s voice cuts through my foggy mind like nails on a chalkboard.
“He is just a little hazy, no doubt whatever he was drugged with…what is your name?”
She wasakinaking slowly.
“Link” I gasped, feeling as if my voice was broken and cracked like a dried mud puddle. I couldn’t keep doing this. It was happening more and more.
“Link is to have some water to drink, his horse and his belongings back, and then, when he is lucid, I wish to meet with him in the gardens. Take him to a room for now, CAPTAIN.” She stressed the last word mockingly.
“As you wish, Princess.”
Impa gave the hapless captain of the guard a bone-chilling stare before she stalked off after her charge. It was then that I caught a glimpse of the symbol on the back of her armor. There was a strangely familiar grace to the way she walked…that symbol… I spiraled off into darkness again.
/ Pain. My arm hurt. I was wrapped in his cloak, I was tracing the design over and over again with my good hand, trying to ignore everything else. He had saved me. I watched him tending the fire, blonde locks, silky and soft, spilling out over the wrap, red eyes intense with his concentration. “The Re-dead cannot cross the barrier I have placed.” He stated, his eyes understanding me, accepting my fear as that of a man, not a Hero, who was wounded, bleeding, and until a moment ago, afraid he would fail./

~*~

To call the bed I woke in elegant was an understatement. My head felt better, and as I sat up, I looked into the rheumy eyes of an ancient old man. I was in one of the nicest rooms I had ever seen, even the blankets on the bed looked like heirlooms, and expensive ones at that. I had the sudden urge to run before I accidentally destroyed something worth more than my life.
“I am First healer here at the castle. My name is Artemis.”
I regarded him carefully, he seemed like a decent man. Or at least, he didn’t scare the hell out of me like the guy from last night. I nodded in comprehension and then winced in expectation of pain; but was surprised to find I felt almost as good as new. The movement hadn’t hurt in the least.
“I am in Hyrule castle?” Yes, not intelligent, but, I was still groggy.
“Yes lad.”
He handed me a cup of some strange smelling herb drink.
“It will help you recover your strength…” He said.
I nodded and took a careful sip. It didn’t taste too awful.
“Meet with the princess, and then rest for a day here at the castle, it will give you time to recover. If you rest, and drink that, I see no reason why you will not have the strength to continue on your way soon.” The old healer wheezed.
“How did you know I wished to continue from here so soon?”
“It is obvious to this old man that you are on a journey.”
“What if this was the journey?” I asked, feeling suddenly cryptic.
“I doubt that very much, I sense that your time here will be short, you are needed elsewhere.”
“Are you a psychic or something?”
A feminine laugh cut me off as the princesses’ bodyguard…Impa? I think it was… eased her way into the room, one hip at a time. The old man next to me was all but drooling. I felt no interest whatsoever, except perhaps for the anxiety that a small bird feels when it spots a cat not far away in a belly crawl.
“He is not just psychic, he is a first class healer like no other.” She said.
I smiled thinly up at her.
She smiled serenely down at me.
At least we knew where we stood.
“Sheikah, do not intimidate my patient.”
“Keh.” She coughed. “I need to talk to him.”
/ Sheikah…that word…blue, leather, blood red eyes…falling…alone!/
“Are you all right son?” The healer was leaning over me.
“Sorry!” I stammered for what felt like the hundredth time in three moons alone. “I just wasn’t pa att attention to what …” I muttered what could have been a he/she/you/it “Was saying.”
From the way Impa all but had her ears pinned back in displeasure, I guessed it was she who had been speaking.
“I SAID.” She enunciated carefully. “I need the description of the man whom…” We had a moment of eye contact where I almost dared her to say the word. She surprisingly yielded, her eyes full of an apologetic understanding that made me think we had more in common in this experience then either of us wanted to speak of. “You fought off.” She finished. “He is a criminal wanted for multiple offenses of varying degree’s, most of them… worse than yours…” I suddenly understood. I had somehow gotten very lucky to have escaped. “Please tell us, we believe we are holding him in one of the dungeons, we simply need a description. Please don’t let this happen to any more people?!” Her eyes were pleading with me suddenly, all her cold pretenses gone.
I nodded.
Her cold façade was back. Whatever. We all survive how we must.

~*~
I step quietly through the grass, feeling like an intruder with my hat scrunched nervously in my hand. I spot her near the hedge maze, Holding a rose across her lap and sitting serenely, as if she had been expecting me at this very moment. Women were good at that sort of thing… The sun was setting, and it framed her in golden light.
She looks so very familiar, and there is that funny way she is looking at me. It was like the way the Kokiri used to. That look that clearly said she knew something I did not, and that the chances of me being told were slim. I drew nearer to her, kneeling at her feet.
“Princess, you wished to see me?”
“Yes, of course Link, I trust you are feeling better?”
“Much m’lady.”
“You need not use such ceremonial language Link. We have been friends, fought side by side even. There is no need for such formality.”
I must have blinked at her owlishly, because she laughed at me kindly.
“You do not remember?”…She looked somehow disappointed. “And please, put your hat back on, I remember how much you hate to be without it.”
I looked at her then, feeling tears form in the corners of my eyes.
“I am sorry, there is much I cannot remember.” I decided to be honest. “I don’t even know who I am anymore prin…Zelda, there is so much missing that I feel like a shadow of…me.”
She sighed then, her eyes full of sympathy. And regret.
“It is you who sparked my memories, they have just recently returned to me today. And I have only had a short time to regret that I sent you back.”
“Sent me back?”
She sighed, ignoring me for the moment.
“It was wrong of me to separate you two, I see it now. The look in his eyes as you disappeared. It killed a part of him, because he loved you. And now that I see it, it killed the biggest part of you. You must be terribly lonely and not even know why.”
My stomach hit somewhere around my knees. How did she know all of this? Why did it seem to be so very true to me, like there was no doubt?
“Princess, how do you know this? You say we were companions? I have a small memory of that…and him, who is him? You have to understand I came here searching for someone…someone lost to me. Can you tell me who?”
She smiled at me then, a look that said she was gratified that she could at least help me in one way.
“His name is Sheik.” She said softly.
“I loved him?”
“That is for you to decide. I can tell you no more, I am not certain if I will influence your memories, and I don’t want to do that to you. Our memories are the most precious things that we own. I want yours to be true, and completely yours. Not my opinion on something.”
I nodded. It was frustrating, but I could see her point entirely.
“Then, what do I do now, Zelda, where do I go?”
I heard Epona’s whicker of delight at seeing me even before I could see her. As she rounded the corner of the maze, I realized was was being lead by Impa. The “Sheikah” as the healer had called her, looked genuine pleased to see me. From the lopsided grin on Zelda’s face, I guessed that this was not a commonplace occurrence.
“Good day, Link.” She said, and almost gave me a shiver in the process. Her voice was deep and borderline frightening with that cheersmilsmile on her face.
“Lady Impa.” I said formally.
“Don’t lady me!” She said laughingly.
“I take it you are no-one’s lady?”
Zelda smiled at me approvingly. Apparently I said something right.
“That is true Link, very true. I like you, I am either going to be your steadfast friend… or kill you.” Impa said. Still smiling.
Oh goodie. Why did I feel that either way I should take that as a compliment?
“I am glad the princess is giving you the sword. It was made for you. I was hesitant at first…but…now I see things a little differently.”
I blinked. What do you say to something like that?
“Yes. The sword.”
Zelda saved me from having to reply. I could just stand here and smile smugly like I had a clue. Don’t laugh. It works more often then you would think.
Zelda leaned behind the bench, reaching for something. And then came up with a two handed blade that she almost had to strain to lift. It was hanging in a shoulder sheath of black leather, its pommel straight and laced with black and red leather.

“This is the Biggeron Sword, forged in the depths of Death Mountain by the Goron’s. They created it to defeat an ancient enemy of theirs, and ours. The blade was never so expertly used but in your hands. I want you to have it again. What good is an adventurer without a sword?”
I wanted to see the blade. Something told me if I saw it, I could remember…it was tingling at the back of my mind like an ignored errand, long forgotten.
“Link, I must ask that you not draw this blade here in Hyrule. It is not yet time, please wait, do not draw the blade until you are in great need!”
I blinked at her in disbelief. Here is a sword but do not use it? What am I supposed to do, beat someone to death with it still in the scabbard? Right.
“Prin…Zelda?”
“I know you do not understand right now. I wouldn’t either in your position. Just please…trust me?”
How could I turn her down? There was a wisdom sparkling in t blu blue eyes that I simply could not deny.
Suddenly Impa was helping me strap the baldric over my shoulder and snugging it down. Was it creepy to mention that the whole shoulder harness fit like it had already molded to my body? It did not pinch like new leather. It felt worn and right, like it had always been a par me, me, and it was a piece that was missing. I smiled at Zelda as Impa stood away with a “there” of approval.

“I do not understand your request, but I will obey your wishes. I do not know what I have done to receive such a gift, but I am grateful.”

Impa smiled at me as she made a motion that indicated that I should get on my horse now, I had the pressing feeling that they were anxious for me to leave. But why? As I went to mount, I noticed Epona now wore a shoulder collar with the design that was imprinted on the back of Impa’s armor, and a dark blue blanket that hooked to the shoulder collar with gold clips. It had white edging, and it looked quite elegant on her.
“I know you have never saddled the mare, that is why I only gave you the Sheikah’s collar and blanket. You would make a Sheikah proud… as a fact, I know you will.” Impa said, smiling like the proverbial cat that had swallowed the canary.
“Impa!” Zelda scolded laughingly.
“What?! You know you were thinking it too!”
Zelda smiled.
“Indeed`{¥÷as…” She then shifted her attention from Impa to me. “Link, you will need the blanket on your horse where you are going.”
I was confused.
“You were invited to stay, but if you leave tonight, you will get where you are going just in time.” Zelda said.
“And where am I going?” I asked, fighting the urge to be sarcastic.
Zelda shook her head. “Impa will tell you.”
“Impa?” I asked, it was more of an exasperated exclamation then a question.
She simply smirked and obliged me, one finger drumming impatiently on her arm.
“Follow tonight’s moon until the sun crests the horizon. Then follow the sun until it sets. You will find a mountain range blocking your way then. There is a pass deep in the forest under the cliff that looks like a rooster. Look hard, it is easy to miss…and you will have to ride through the shallow river for a while.”
I nodded.
“If anyone who is Sheikah gives you trouble, tell them that I sent you. The collar and blanket will be proof enough.”
I blinked.
“Where am I going?!”
This was getting annoying.
“Follow your heart Link. It will take you to exactly where you need to be.”
Impa patted the collar that Epona was wearing. “There is a water skin on your right, it is full, here is a ration bag, also full.” She said as she clipped it to the other side of the collar. Zelda then reached under the bench and pulled out a heavy black cloak.
“You will need this, please wear it to keep you warm at night.”
I nodded again.
“Thank you Link, I know you do not yet understand, but thank you for my memories back, I only hope that this will return the favor.”
“My lady, you have been most gracious.” I said as I chained the hooded cloak around my neck. “I do not understand, that is true, but I sense that you genuinely want to help, and this feels right. I do know you, though I don’t remember you. I will come back when I have found what I am searching for.”
“I was hoping you might. I would love to catch up on old times.”
I smiled, my first real smile in a very long time as I bowed from the waist on Epona’s back.
“Peace to you and your kingdom.” I said.
“Peace to you as well, god speed.” She whispered as Impa lead Epona with a hand in her collar, to the garden exit. I looked back once over my shoulder as she escorted me out to see Zelda weeping on the bench. It made my heart hurt for her. I had somehow saddened her.
“Do wor worry” Impa said lowly. “All is well, and thank you, we have caught the criminal thanks to your help.”
“I am glad.” I said, and I truly was. I never wanted to see that individual again. “Godspeed Link, oh, one more thing.” She said, beckoning me to duck my head so she could whisper to me.
“Even if it wasn’t that bad,” her voice held a note of sad understanding “don’t be surprised if you have bad dreams, it happens to the best of us.”
I nodded, suddenly very aware of Impa’s own dark secrets and pain. She then gestured her head upwards in a “straighten up” gesture and smiled spiritedly to cover her inner pain. She dragged the gates open and then returned to my side.
“Be well!” She said loudly as she gently tugged Epona’s collar. The sun was just sinking below the horizon.
“Gallop hard while the sun is down, lead the mare in the afternoon when the sun is high!” She said just before she laughed and swatted Epona’s rump, forcing her off into a gallop over the bridge and startling me into a whoop. Impa’s adventurousness was rubbing off or something.
“And don’t you come back without him!” She shouted to me as I clung to Epona’s mane, enjoying the last of the fading sun and the cool breeze that kicked up in the evenings around Hyrule. I squinted my eyes shut until there was only the pounding of Epona’s hooves over the bridge that lead from the gardens and over the mote into the farmlands to the side of the town. I heard the gates clash shut behind me, but I did not look back. It was bad luck to look back. When I opened my eyes again, the sun was only a thin line on the horizon and the moon was beginning its trip across the sky. I aimed Epona for the road that lead directly towards the moon and relaxed into the motion of her gallop. This was going to be a long next few days. I wanted to enjoy the path while it was still kind, not tangling in some godforsaken wilderness.