Woman without a Country

They landed on Nar Shadaa again, and Mira led Ludmilla to meet with Master Ell. The rest of the crew unanimously decided to stay on the ship. Ludmilla just shook her head, but decided the issue wasn't worth pursuing since Mira wasn't going to be part of the crew.
"Here we are," said Mira, "home stinky home." She led Ludmilla to a small, hidden warehouse just off the docks.
"This is the same place where you gassed me."
"Don't worry," said the voice that she had heard in her half-slumber. "We have no designs on you this time." The door opened to reveal a middle-aged Human man, with heavy-set features and dark eyes.
"Master Ell," Ludmilla said as she entered the room.
"We meet under very different circumstances," he said. "Mira, would you excuse us?"
"Sure," grumbled Mira, "I'm going to check on my traps." She opened another hidden door, and entered a small bedroom, leaving Ludmilla alone with Master Ell.
Ludmilla watched her leave curiously. "You live here?" she asked Master Ell.
"Sometimes. I have a few hideouts scattered all over Nar Shadaa. I never expected you to come here. Master Kavar suspected that you might return from your exile, to wander your old battlefields. But not to come here, not to a place like this." Master Ell sighed, and sat down on a makeshift chair formed from boxes and scrap metal. "You were always hard to read. Even when you were part of the Order and tied to the Force, and more so when it was lost to you."
"I'm surprised Master Kavar even thought of me at all," said Ludmilla. She leaned against the wall, crossed her arms. "I didn't think any of you thought I would survive long enough to return."
"He thought much of you, and wished that things had turned out differently. He wished that your talents had found another way to come to light than in the fires of war. He believed that you - the worlds you had touched during the wars - these were key in understanding the threats that we face. But the others were not so certain."
"Where are all the Jedi? Where has everyone gone?"
Master Ell sighed heavily. "Many have given up the Order. Others have scattered - not to hide, but to try and draw out our enemies. We have found that whenever we gather, we are vulnerable - as on Katarr, or Dantooine. So we have chosen places where it is difficult to sense others through the Force... whether on planets dense with life, or touched by war. In such places, we may conceal ourselves, gather information - without presenting ourselves as targets. It was part of Kavar's plan."
"Plan?"
"Kavar wanted to draw them out. By retreating, by hiding ourselves, he hoped that they would deem themselves victorious and emerge from the shadows. Too, we knew that we could not continue as we were. There were not enough of us. I have not heard from the others in some time. How did you find me?"
"I found a record of your location in Atris' database."
"Atris?"
"She's on Telos, hiding like you are."
"But... I thought that Atris had gone to Katarr."
Ludmilla shook her head. "She is alive, and still bitterly disappointed that I am too."
"You are too hard on her," said Master Ell. "That is good news, the first I have heard in a while. She holds the last of the Jedi teachings. That she has survived is a good augury for the future."
"Why didn't you go to Katarr?" she asked curiously. "It was a conclave, wasn't it? All Jedi are supposed to gather when called to a conclave."
Master Ell looked down at the ground. "There were... things that kept me tied to this place. I could not go."
Ludmilla raised an eyebrow. "That's an odd phrasing," she said slowly. "So, what happened on Katarr?"
"Our numbers had been diminishing rapidly. Jedi were disappearing, anytime two or more gathered, something would happen. An accident. Their ships would disappear. They would walk out of sight and never be seen again. Finally, there were less than a hundred of us left who were still active in the Order. We called a conclave, believing that our numbers would be sufficient to prevent any thinly-veiled assassination attempts. But they struck in a way that we could not have imagined. The entire world was destroyed, because the Jedi chose to gather there. The entire colony of Miraluka on Katarr was completely wiped out, as well as all the Jedi who had gone there."
"You never checked, did you?" asked Ludmilla. "No one went to Katarr to search for survivors." What if a Jedi had found Visas first? Saved her from the Dark Side? Why wasn't anyone willing to be a Jedi anymore, she asked herself.
"Survivors?" Master Ell looked at her in disbelief. "Even from here, I felt it. Katarr was wiped out, something devoured the entire world. The Jedi who fell there couldn't even become one with the Force. This thing - this power - it leaves wounds in the Force where it strikes. Holes that can never be filled."
"So you hid here," Ludmilla tried not to snarl. "Instead of trying to do anything, you hid here."
"Our presence, our numbers, placed not just ourselves at risk, but everyone around us. When we were seen, we were struck down. When we gathered, we were wiped out. Should we have endangered everything around us? Should we have risked what happened on Katarr happening on worlds like Coruscant? How were we supposed to fight an enemy that would not reveal itself? Kavar's plan was the best hope for success. He had seen more war than any of us, we trusted his judgment. The tactics were sound."
"The tactics were foolish and short-sighted," snapped Ludmilla. "If you needed someone to fight a war, you knew where to find a victorious general. But you cast me out of the Order, and refused to admit that you were wrong. Or that you needed help," she said bitterly.
"The day we cast you out, that is the moment I decided to leave the Order. Because I do not believe we truly faced the reasons you were exiled, and if we do not examine such truths, then we are already lost. We told you that we cast you out because you had chosen to follow Revan to war. But why, then, did we spare Kavar and other Masters who had answered the call of the Republic? We were blinding ourselves to the flaws of our Order, to the inconsistencies in our rules and how we applied them. We saw you severed from the Force, and we feared what would happen if you stayed. Living with the Force is already difficult enough," he said sadly.
Ludmilla looked at the door where Mira had disappeared. "What are you doing on Nar Shadaa?"
"I came here to find something," said Master Ell. "And I found more than I bargained for. Your Mandalorian eyes have already seen it."
"What did you come here for in the first place?"
"I came seeking my Padawan. He had followed in your footsteps, and gone to the wars. He fought under Revan's banner, and survived Malachor V. And like all the others who went there, he fell to the Dark Side. And yet, I can still sense him. His fall is not complete. If I could find him, perhaps I could save him."
Ludmilla stared at him in disbelief. "So you've been here for years, and you still haven't found him?"
Master Ell flushed. "The noise of this world makes it impossible to find someone using the Force."
"Did you try stepping outside?" she asked dryly.
"It's a little more complicated than that."
Ludmilla shook her head. "No, it really isn't." She decided not to bother telling Master Ell any more. "You cut me off from the Force, and I am still more connected to it than you are."
"We did no such thing," said Master Ell gently. "You were cut off from the Force by your own actions."
"I did not fall to the Dark Side," she said firmly. "I don't care what the Council thought, or what you think."
Master Ell sighed. "I do not understand it fully myself. But I do believe that right now, you are on the side of the Light. And that is why I'm going to ask one more favor of you."
Ludmilla looked at him, startled.
"If what you say is true, and Atris is alive, your actions have started a chain of events that will no doubt bring our enemies out of the shadows. We, what remains of the Council, must gather again on Dantooine. This was Kavar's plan. If I must leave this place, then I can no longer protect her."
"Uh... this is a bad idea, for many reasons that I don't want to go into right now."
"You will need allies on your journey. She will be safer with you than staying here, alone."
"I don't think she wants to come with me," blushed Ludmilla. "This is a bad, bad idea."
"It is the will of the Force," said Master Ell calmly.
"Yeah, you're going to tell her that."
"Tell who what?" said Mira. "Are you two done with your secret Jedi talk? I'm hungry, and there isn't enough here for a guest," she glared pointedly at Ludmilla.
Master Ell smiled gently, and began to explain.

Ludmilla walked back onto the ship in silence.
"Hey," Atton greeted her with a kiss, then stopped. "You've got some red-haired crap stuck on you. Want me to get rid of it?"
"Atton, please." Ludmilla put her hands to her head. "I just got her to stop yelling at me."
"I can make her stop yelling," Atton smiled, "although Visas is a lot better at it."
"See?" snapped Mira. "This is what I'm talking about!"
Ludmilla groaned and walked away to go fix something on the ship, anything that would keep her away from the bickering.
Kreia gave her about ten minutes. "You are a leader. Lead. This is ridiculous." She had to raise her voice slightly to be heard over the yelling.
Ludmilla continued tightening bolts on the ceiling tiles. "I'm waiting for them to finish throwing all of their toys out of the crib."
Atton, Visas, and Mira all fell silent suddenly.
Ludmilla chuckled. "Oh, that got your attention, I see. So are you all done now?"
None of the three said anything.
"Good, you're done. The next one who starts mouthing off is going to get thrown in the brig. I know we don't have one, but I'll make one if I have to. Atton, do we have all the supplies we need?"
"I have to double-check," he said, trying not to be sullen.
"Then check, please. Mira, help him. Not one word," she said warningly as Mira was about to protest. "Just do it, because you know what we can find on Nar Shadaa and what we can't. Visas, can you get Bao-Dur for me? He's still hiding in the engine room, and I need to know if the ship is ready to leave."
"Of course," said Visas politely, and went to find Bao-Dur. Atton and Mira went to check the ship's supplies.
"That was easier than I thought it would be," said Kreia calmly. "You're very good at that."
"I suspect Atton will try to get himself thrown into the imaginary brig, just because."
"I'm sure both of you will enjoy it," Kreia smiled. "What did you learn from Master Ell?"
"That he's a coward and a hypocrite," said Ludmilla as she gave the bolts a particularly vicious twist.
"Indeed?"
"Mira is his daughter."
Kreia didn't reply.
"Yeah, he didn't even know he had one until he got here. That's why he's been hiding on Nar Shadaa all this time. I'm still not clear if she knows or not, and at this point, I don't even care. I used to attract soldiers to me. Now I'm collecting messed up kids. What is wrong with me?"
"What is wrong, indeed?" mused Kreia. "What is it that the Mandalorians say? Take what makes you stronger, leave what makes you weaker...."
"And fix what is broken." Ludmilla jumped off the ladder. "But I can't figure out what is broken."
"Then perhaps you should take a break?" suggested Kreia.
Ludmilla considered. "That's not a bad idea. As usual. Why didn't I just talk to you earlier?"
"Because you are a foolish, headstrong child, and easily distracted. You are also unnecessarily proud of your abilities and you dislike delegating authority."
"Ouch."
"But you do take constructive criticism well."
"Also," said Atton as he walked past with a datapad in his hands, "you've got a great ass."
"Excuse me," said Ludmilla, and tossed Atton over her shoulder. Hanging upside down, he continued reading his datapad as if nothing unusual was happening as Ludmilla carried him away. "I'll be back later."
"That wasn't actually what I had in mind when I suggested that you take a break," said Kreia dryly.
"Will of the Force!" Ludmilla called out, and disappeared into the cargo hold.
"Indeed," smiled Kreia. "More than you know."

Atton set down the datapad and wrapped his arms around her as she set him on the floor. "I'm sorry I was being a spoiled brat earlier," he grinned.
"Don't tell Kreia this," she whispered as she kissed him, "but I think it's cute."
"There you go, acting like you're hundreds of years older than me again," he kissed her back. "How do you even know how old I am?"
She pulled off his jacket, and started to undo the buckle of his pants. "Remember when we were arrested on Telos?" She moved him so that he was leaning against the wall.
"Oh yeah," he murmured, and watched in fascination as she slid to her knees. "They said my birth year, but nothing for you and Kreia. So, how old are you?"
"Older than you, younger than Kreia, and not too old to enjoy myself. Now stop asking me questions." Ludmilla had a much better use for her tongue at the moment, and took him into her mouth, tasting him. She slid her tongue over his shaft, exploring, listening to his moans of pleasure and excitement. She noticed that he kept his hands on the wall, at his sides. His head thrown back, his eyes closed, whimpering, crying out as she pleasured him. He shuddered and clenched his fists as she took all of him into her mouth, and she flicked her tongue over him, teasing him sweetly. He gasped, and thrust into her mouth, filling her with his salty sweetness and crying out uncontrollably. She eagerly licked him clean, and held him up as he practically melted into her arms.
"How do you get wound up so tightly?" she grinned as she lay him on the bed.
Atton smiled weakly in response, and kissed her, pulled her down next to him so that he could rest his head on her breasts.
"And I've noticed that you rather enjoy being treated like a child sometimes. Or rather, you like it when I boss you around." Her voice was slightly questioning, and Atton smiled at her.
"I do," he admitted. "You said you liked being in charge, and I like letting you make decisions for me."
She smiled in relief. "All right then. Just making sure." She pulled off her top, and tossed it aside. "Come here."
Atton smiled, and obeyed her command.