Accidental Infatuation

Accidental Infatuation
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Chapter Eighteen

See Note Below for Author whining…
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I hate hospitals. I really do. If I could, I would be pacing up and down the hallway right now. Everything in here is so nerve racking right now. And they think it is going to be two whole hours before it’s all over? How the hell am I suppose to be able to wait that long? What do they think I am? Some sort of super human or something? That’s it. I want to call this whole thing off. I’m obviously not stable enough.

“Sora, settle down.” Riku’s voice calmly breaks though my panicking thoughts. He is sitting on one of those metal chairs, and I know that it can’t be the least bit comfortable, while Axel is in a more padded arm chair next to him. According to my boyfriend, he chose that chair because I would be able to get closer to him that way if I needed to. How on earth did I end up with such a sweet and considerate boyfriend?

“I know, Riku. I’m just so scared.” I finally admit that fact out loud to myself and the other two in the room. I know that it is obvious, but there is just something about saying it out loud that helps the pounding in my chest subside even just a little. My boyfriend leans forward and holds one hand out for me to take. I wheel myself over so that I am facing him before taking his outstretched hand with my own, and our other hands instantly come up so that they meet as well.

“I know, Sor. But Roxas is in good hands. These doctors are professionals. Nothing is going to happen to him while he is in their care. This is a routine procedure. He is going to be fine.” The words fall from his lips, softly in a way that is surely meant to help calm me down, and normally it would have worked, bit there is just something sitting down in the pit of my stomach that I really don’t like.

I give my boyfriend a small smile anyway. “Thanks.” Trying to ignore that sensation, I look over at Axel, who seems to have gone into a trance-like state. It’s almost scary how fast he and Roxy have fallen for one another. Not that Riku and I haven’t fallen quickly, but there is just something between them that makes me just a little bit jealous. I’m sure that someday me and Riku will have that same sort of relationship, but Roxy and Axel have both had plenty of experience before they got together, while Riku and I are each others first real everything. But seeing the worry that is plastered on Axel’s face, I know that the redhead truly cares about my twin. And nothing could make me happier than the fact that Roxy has finally found someone who genuinely cares about him, and who is not just with him for the sex. But from the rapidly growing number of condom wrappers that have been passed my way, the sex is there too. I know. Gross.

“And you stop worrying too, Axel. It’s hard enough keeping Sora calm. I don’t need you sending yourself into a seizure too.”

“Ah, fuck off, Riku. I know that everything is going to be alright. I just would rather him be out here then in there,” he grumbles, leaning forward to place his elbows on his knees. It looks so weird seeing him with his long red hair pulled back into a ponytail, but it does look good on him. And from the one time that I was ‘privileged’ enough to meet Reno, I know that he stole the style from his brother.

Leaning forward myself, I place a soft kiss against Riku’s nose before pulling away and wheeling myself over so that I am right in front of Axel. “Axel?”

“Yeah?” he asks, turning his face to look up at me, his bright green eyes just a little muted at the moment.

“Thank you so much for worrying about him. And being good to him. Roxy has been through a lot of really shitty relationships in the past, and I’m glad to say that you are good for him and I am sure that he will keep you around for a long time, if not forever.” I place a hand on his shoulder and laugh lightly as his eyes go wide as saucers and his mouth gapes open. And from the light chuckles that I am hearing from behind me, Riku can probably tell exactly what is happening right now. I still don’t know how he does that.

When Axel finally regains his senses, he still just looks at me for a moment before smirking in that very Axelish manner. “Wow. That means a lot to me Sora. If anyone else had said that to me I would have just laughed them off without a second thought. But because it’s the two of you with your freaky non sexual twincest bond thing, I believe you. Thanks. I promise to take good care of your brother.”

“Good,” I grin, giving him a small smirk of my own. “Because now I have the power to threaten you with Sephiroth through Riku, so unless you want both Cloud AND Sephiroth on your ass, you better take care of him.”

“And here I thought Roxas was the evil twin.” Riku laughs loudly as I roll away from the redhead who is mumbling and grumbling about something like families should not be able to have more than one son, especially if they are scary ass bastards like Cloud and Sephiroth.

When I point out that that means that Roxy wouldn’t exist, and he wouldn’t either because Reno is kind of a scary bastard too, I just get the finger in response, causing us all to laugh. I move myself back over so that I am positioned next to Riku’s chair again, leaning over and placing my head on his shoulder. Instantly, his arm is up and wrapping itself around my shoulder in an act of comfort. Despite everyone’s reassurance about how everything is going to be alright, I still can’t seem to shake that nagging feeling that has taken up residence in the pit of my stomach. If only I could be in there with him so that I could know that he was okay for sure.

My eyes slide closed as I relish in the warmth that my boyfriend is offering, trying to persuade my thoughts to go in a completely different direction. I know that everyone in there with Roxy are professionals, and that they know what they are doing. But something just feels off. We were told earlier that this is going to be a slightly non-traditional surgery, that this was something that normally was done very soon after the injury was inflicted not upwards of two months. I know that they had to wait for me. They wanted me to be stable enough to handle Roxy being put under, and not have it effect me more than I can handle.

Suddenly, a sharp pain rips through my shoulder, causing me to jump away with a gasp from Riku’s touch as if it burned. My eyes are wide as saucers as I can only stare at him in disbelief. “Sora?” he whispers, reaching a hand out, placing it on my shoulder gently. Just as his fingers come in contact with my body, that agonizingly painful sensation flares up inside my body once again, bringing tears to my eyes again as I try not to scream out at the intense pain that is pulsing through my entire torso. I hear Riku say my name again as my own hand flies up and grasps at my upper arm tightly, hoping for some reason that that would be enough to dampen the pain, but as another pulse of that fiery pain burns through my shoulder once more, I know that it won’t. I cry out, no longer caring that I am in a hospital. I’m in total agony.

I slam my eyes shut as I feel another wave hitting me like a ton of bricks, and this time it finally knocks the breath from my lungs and al I can think of is ‘Oh, shit. I wasn’t ready for this.’ My first reaction once I find myself without breath is to try and take in as much air as I possibly can, but each time that I try and fill my lungs with that precious oxygen, I find myself screaming in pain, the feeling radiating trough my body. I barely hear the muffled shouts around me, both Axel and Riku just blurry figures moving in slow motion around me, but I just can’t seem to focus on wither of them, so I just close my eyes, hoping that it helps.

Quick short breaths cause me agony each time, but it is all I can manage to take into my lungs at the moment, each one causing my shoulder to flare up in pain, cries and whimpers falling freely from my lips. As another wave overtakes me, I just brace myself against my chair, knowing that there is nothing that I can do to stop it. I hear something that faintly sounds likes my name being yelled in the room around me, and there is the oddest sensation that is underlying the pain. Something that I just can’t seem to put my finger on to decipher what it is.

Another jolt tears through me, this time my eyes flying open, only to be assaulted by complete darkness. That is all that there is other than the pain. Periodically, the throbbing brings small white flashes to the inky blackness, but there is nothing that I am able to mentally ground onto to steady myself with. I wish that Roxy was here with me. He’s be able to help me…the thought of my twin sends a ripple through the darkness along with another wave of pain, and I can’t help myself as I scream out, my hand clenching tightly at the source of those sensations.

Instantly, a sudden coldness envelops me, and I shiver at the loss of warmth in this never ending darkness. Each time I try and focus on the thought of my brother, a ripple runs through the black, but it isn’t nearly enough to break me out of this strange place. All I can feel is the constant pain, interrupted only by the flashes of more agony and pain, stronger than I could have ever imagined before. With what I think to be a sigh of defeat, I accept that for this moment, the darkness has claim to me. Maybe Roxy is there waiting for me. At the thought of my brother, I swear I can hear his light chuckle somewhere off in the distance. Too bad that Riku wasn’t here too, than maybe this darkness wouldn’t be so unbearable.

As soon as my thoughts turn from my brother to my boyfriend, a blinking silver spot appears in the distance of this blackness. My body finally takes a semi corporal form, but as suddenly as that spot appeared, it is gone again. Sensing a wave of panic creeping up under the next wave of pain, I feel my lungs constrict again, as the breath leaves me completely. I don’t think that I will be long now. Dammit. I wish that I had gotten to tell Riku exactly how I feel before I am swallowed whole into the shadow. For the second time, that small light appears on the horizon. Floating myself over to the light, a firm vision of Riku in my mind, it only surprises me slightly when the feeling from this tiny prick of light feels just like when I am being held by Riku.

The flash of pain that I brace myself for surprises me by not being quite as intense as the previous ones. It’s almost as if that small silver orb is some how staving off that excoriating pain. But why is it only appearing when I think of Riku, and not Roxy? Not that I am complaining about this, but it just adds to the fact that Riku really is something special and there is already something deeper there then I could have ever imagined. Tentatively, I reach out a single hand to try and take in that warmth, wanting nothing more than to pull it into my body and have it turn everything bad into something good.

“Riku.” I whisper out into the oblivion that surrounds me. The ball of light pulses with the word, before I hear a slightly muffled whisper of my name. My eyes go wide as I cup my hands around the orb as I say Riku’s name again. The pulses start to get brighter and brighter, and I lift the hand not holding the ball to shield my eyes against the light. I begin to chant my boyfriend’s name over and over again, noticing that each time I do, there is a murmur of my own name before the light pulses. Could this really be happening? I continue my mantra of ‘Riku’, watching as the tight gets to be almost blinding, and is growing bigger and bigger, along with the sound of my name getting louder and clearer.

Pausing for only a moment so that I can catch my breath, I panic at the sight of the silver light fading in my hand. Panting heavily, I can barely contain the terror that is rushing though my veins suddenly as I desperately try and grab the fading light with both of my hands. I can’t believe that I was so close! And now it is getting away from me! Lifting one hand to wipe away the tears that are gathering in my eyes, I know that I can’t give up. I need to get out of this place. I need to see Riku again. I need to make sure that Roxy is alright. I need to see Aerith have her baby. I need to hear Axel pick on me and tease me. I need to hear Demyx play music for me. I need to see what Naminé has been drawing for over a month. I need to gossip with Kairi. I need to see if Tifa can convince Cloud to marry her. I need to learn more about Zexion…

I need to get out of here.

Screaming out Riku’s name in complete frustration, the tiny orb falls to the floor, before disappearing totally. Sobbing out in defeat, I fall to the ground, the shadows licking at my skin. I guess this must be the end. Funny, I always thought that Roxas would be here with me. Maybe I am too late. Perhaps that is what brought me to this place. But why didn’t he wait for me? He always knew that I would be right behind him, just as I know that he will be there for me. I guess we aren’t the ones who get to chose who we wait for.

Staring blankly at the spot that the light disappeared at, I have to look twice before I understand what is happening. The darkness is cracking. First there are only a few small breaks at the point where the ball of light had fallen to, and then there is more and more spreading out from it, expanding throughout the entire blackness, creating a glowing silver spider web all around me, the shining fractures just radiating warmth that encompasses me. Pounding my fists against the walls, I can still faintly hear the sound of my name from the other side of this darkness. “Riku! Riku, help!” I cry out, slamming my fists against the shadows.

“Sora!” For the first time, my name is said crystal clear, and it covers me with an eternal warmth that I will remember for the rest of my life. And as if that was the last little push that was needed, my fists pound once more against the blackness, the web of cracks meeting above my head, that bright silvery light shining through the gaps. Suddenly, there is a loud crashing sound that occurs all around me and it is all that I can focus on before the darkness shatters, pieces flying at me from ever direction. My arms instantly go to cover my head, my eyes quickly slamming shut.

When that horrible sound finally lets up, I slowly open my eyes to what became of the darkness. Surprisingly enough, there is no sign of it what so ever. I’m lying down on a couch, my head in Riku’s lap, loud noises coming from all around me. Looking up at my boyfriend, my breath hitches as I see tear tracks running from his sightless eyes, down his pale cheeks. What exactly has been happening? Riku is just staring off into space, mindlessly stroking my hair.

“How dare you try and undermine my authority! I told you that Sora was to be in the operating room while Roxas was under anaesthesia!” The loud rant is coming from across the room, strangely enough, from Dr. Vexen of all people.

“We could not have just sedated someone for no real reason, let alone have him in the operating room with us, Doctor.” The next voice is one that I recognize as being the head surgeon that was going to be working on Roxy. Wait, where’s Roxy?

“I told you that it was necessary! Or did you think that it would be better off having one patient almost die on the table and nearly send another into cardiac arrest because of your stupidity? I told you that Sora wasn’t stable enough to handle Roxas being put under on his own! What gave you thought to not believe what I said? Those twins need each other!”

Slowly I turn my head so that I am no longer staring up at Riku, but over towards Dr. Vexen, who is freaking out at a man in green scrubs. I don’t think that I have ever seen Dr. Vexen so red in the face before, not even that time when he began to lash out at Axel and Riku for using gurneys as racers last week. And the green eyes that he shares with his son are just ablaze with anger.

“How was I to know that being in separate rooms would cause this to happen? You weren’t exactly specific with your reasoning. Besides, if you were so insistent about him being in the room, why didn’t Sora himself tell us that he was suppose to be in there?” I don’t know why the surgeon is arguing with Dr. Vexen. I mean, I didn’t even know that I was allowed to go in the room with Roxy. Roxy, where are you? Are you okay? My body begins to shake with worry, but before I can say anything or do anything about it, I feel myself being pulled up into familiar warm arms, the embrace tight and welcome.

“Shh. Its okay, Sora. You’re fine. And Roxas is okay. He made it through alright. Axel is with him right now.” I let out a sigh of relief, reaching up to wrap my arms around Riku, and it is only in that moment that I notice the slew of cords and IV’s that are attached to my arm, hand and bare chest. Man, what was happening to me?

“I am your superior! There is no reason for me to explain myself to you for any reason! Now, next time I give you an instruction, you are to follow it, word for word, lest I send Sephiroth over to ensure that you are. Now, remove yourself from my sight. I have a patient to tend to.” With a glare that left no room for argument, Dr. Vexen stares the man down until he is completely out of the room, the door slamming shut behind him. That is all the warning that I get before the doctor walks over to us. “How are you feeling, Sora?”

I move my lips, or at least try to, but fail to produce any sound. I take in a quick breath, but with a slight squeeze to my shoulders from Riku, I am able to keep my body from following my mind back into panic.

“You’ve been out for nearly six hours. Roxas’ surgery was a success. Well, once we put you in the room with him and you were put under sedation.” Dr. Vexen begins to explain. Sedation? Me? How come I wonder? “However, it was cutting it a little too close for comfort. It had been my intention to have you in the OR from the beginning to avoid this situation. Unfortunately, that idiot surgeon did not heed my warnings. Once they had put Roxas under the anaesthesia, you reacted and just about sent you into cardiac arrest once again. And that in turn caused Roxas’ vitals to drop rapidly as well.”

I feel tears pooling in my eyes. So Roxas almost died because of me? As much as I love the feeling of being in Riku’s arms at the moment, I would really like to see Roxy. Like right now.

“Roxy?” I manage to whimper out, hoping that they understand what I am trying to ask.

“He’ll be here in just a few minutes. He just was released from ICU and recovery, but we just moved you here to the private room first. We are just transferring him right now. We just had to make sure that you both were stable enough to move, especially because we couldn’t move you together at the same time.” With that, Dr. Vexen walks over to me and begins to check over my vitals. How scary is it that I am starting to get used to him doing this. We sit there in silence, except for Dr. Vexen’s occasional instructions, Riku assisting me whenever I need it. And before I know it, the doctor is wishing me a speedy recovery and he will be back in an hour for another check up, before exiting the room, calling over his shoulder that Sephiroth was downstairs waiting for Riku.

“Damn Seph can just stay there waiting,” grumbles Riku, before pulling me close. I can’t help but take in a deep breath, inhaling the strong scent of my boyfriend. And for some reason, as soon as the smell invades my nose, I am reminded way too much of that silver light. Riku was the one who brought me out of that darkness. I had to have been.

“Thanks, Riku,” I whisper, relishing in the feeling of being held by my boyfriend. I don’t think anyone but me, and probably Roxas, knows just how close that darkness was to swallowing me completely. And until absolutely necessary, I think that it might just have to stay that way. We just lay there, holding one another in complete silence. But as if I need to feel this one last thing to insure that I am alive, and this isn’t some sort of illusion. Tilting my head upwards, I gently press my lips against his.

Slowly, Riku begins to respond to my kiss, our lips moving together in a familiar dance. But for some reason, neither of us tries to deepen it, but that makes it all that much more sensual. I have a feeling that today was about as hard on Riku as it was on me. A dead silence falls over us, and for a moment, it is as if we are the only two in existence. Everything around us is at a standstill, waiting for us to finish our kiss. It almost reminds me of one of those cheesy, cliché, chick flick movie kisses that makes everyone either gag or go ‘awe’ and the girls leg usually pops during the kiss. Or at least that’s what I think of it being. And that thought brings a light smile to my otherwise occupied lips. And just like in that corny romance movie, I swear I can hear foot steps retreating from the room. Breaking our connection, I pull back from my boyfriend’s warm lips, his hand lifting to cup my cheek. It’s moments like this that make me so happy that I am with Riku.

I slide back down so that I am once again resting in Riku’s lap. “So, why am I on the couch and not on the bed over there?” I ask out of curiosity, my voice cracking from disuse.

“Well, at first, they were going to lift you on the bed with Roxas, but as soon as they tried to take you away from me, you started to freak out even more. And this position is a little more comfortable for me.” Riku’s voice is still really quiet as his other hand comes up and begins to run itself through my spiky hair. What would I do without him?

“Oh, thanks.” I answer, feeling a blush creep up onto my cheeks. But before I get to continue our conversation, there is suddenly a knock on the door before it is pushed open, only to reveal a bed, some nurse pushing it, and Axel right beside it.

“Hi, guys,” the redhead says, obvious tiredness apparent in his voice. I guess that Riku, Roxy and I weren’t the only ones to have to deal with the ordeal today. Then again, I’m not really that used to Roxy having a boyfriend that actually cares about him.

“Roxy?” My own voice is still relatively weak at the moment, but as soon as I see bright blue eyes shine my way, and a hand poke upwards in a tired sort of greeting, I feel a wave of relief hit me like a tsunami. He’s made it through. Thank everything above. The nurse pushes his bed up to the wall close to where we are, and after the instruction that he is to get some rest and that she will be back shortly with some lunch for the two of us; she leaves the four of us alone in the room.

“How are you feeling, Sor?” my twin’s voice cracks, and I am just relieved to hear it.

“Better now. You?” I am unable to move to actually see him, but to know that he is there is more than enough for me.

“Same.” His reply is quiet, but I can hear the smile in his voice.

“So, what did you guys say to get Sephiroth in such a mood?” Axel asks us after a few quiet minutes.

“What do you mean?” I ask at the same time as Riku.

“Well, we just passed him in the hallway coming from here, and man was he in a foul and rotten funk,” the redhead tells us, a little laughter coming from his mouth, unaware of what exactly happened.

I look up at Riku watch as his sightless eyes go wide. Shit. The footsteps. I didn’t imagine them. Double shit. This can not be good.

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I really am going to try and get another two chapters out before the end of 2009, I really am. This one probably would have been out earlier, but my beloved Pahoyhoy's computer crashed and she wasn't able to beta it. So an extra special thanks to the wonderful Tifa-san for betaing this last minute for me. But I was able to read this to Pahoyhoy and her one comment was that Sora is totally and overdramatic drama queen, hehe. I can't say that I don't disagree. But for some reason, whenever I write him, he automatically comes out that way, hehe.

Thanks again to everyone so much for all the wonderful support that you have been giving me since I began this story. I always feel so incredible when I open my inbox and see that someone else has taken the time to review this story. Once again, from the bottom of my heart, THANK YOU EVERYONE!!

Other than that, I’m going to try and get the next one out as soon as possible. I have had another couple waves of brain storming, so lets hope the rest of the chapter comes to me as quickly as the first bit. Anyway, Until next time!