Reverse-Cowgirl Diplomacy

"My dear Warden, I have a proposition for you."

"Oh, this should be interesting," Elissa grinned as Zevran fell into step beside her as they approached the gates of Denerim.

"I have been thinking about what you said last night, about your--hammer, I believe you called it? I have a game I should like to play with you."

The naughty twinkle in his eyes and the seductive lilt of his voice intrigued her far more than his innocuous words. "I'm listening."

"For the entirety of our visit to Denerim, turn yourself over to me. I shall control what you do with that delectable body of yours. The decisions of who you have sex with will be entirely up to me."

Suddenly Elissa found herself having to concentrate much more carefully on the process of putting one foot before the other, lest she stumble. Zevran, damn him, merely strolled casually along, looking jaunty and amused.

"To what purpose?" she managed to say, though her voice had grown husky.

"To make sure that whoever you fuck, it will be fun for you," his voice dropped, and his eyes spoke of wicked things as he gave her a long, slow perusal. "You are not to worry, I shall be exacting in my standards. I cannot necessarily promise pleasure for pleasure's sake alone, of course. There may be times when it is necessary to combine business with pleasure, but I will make certain there is indeed enough pleasure to make the business worthwhile. And even then, you will not be fucking because you have decided it is necessary. You will be fucking because I have commanded it of you. You will fuck who I tell you to fuck, when I tell you to fuck them."

Elissa had to close her eyes against a pang of arousal so intense it was nearly painful. It was nearly an orgasm in its own right, charging through her body without her having ever been touched. A shudder ran through her as she stood still, drawing several long, deep breaths before she could resume walking.

"Maker's balls, Zevran!" she hissed. "Must you spring this on me when we're out on the open road and I can't just throw you down and fuck you senseless?"

He gave her a complacent smile. "Anticipation is a delicious appetizer, is it not?"

"And what if I decide I don't like the game?"

"Then all you need do is declare the game to be over, and all shall be as it was."

Elissa drew another long breath. This was insane. There was no telling what sort of situations Zevran would get her into. She ought to refuse...

"Very well, I accept," she heard herself saying instead.

"Ah marvelous!" Zevran chuckled. "And I think I know just the place to begin."

"No," Elissa shook her head. "First things first. Alistair has requested that we stop in the Marketplace so that he can attend to some personal business. After that, however...I'm all yours."

"As you wish. While you attend to Alistair's personal business, I will begin making preparations."


*****


It had taken many days after she first took Zevran into her tent, but slowly Alistair stopped avoiding her and staring at her with hurt eyes. Occasionally she'd overhear him asking Leliana or Wynne for advice, but for the most part he hadn't spoken to Elissa after that night at the hot springs until they were only a few days from Denerim.

She'd been thrilled when he'd told her he had a sister, and not just because it meant Duncan's death hadn't left him as utterly bereft of family as she had initially assumed, but because it meant he hadn't completely dismissed her.

She wondered how he would react to the knowledge that he was going to be an uncle and thought, for the first time, perhaps his reaction to learning that it was Cailan's baby she carried wouldn't be entirely angry. He so desperately seemed to long for somewhere to belong and someone to belong to, someone to claim as his own. Elissa had known that joy, once upon a time, in the open love of her--admittedly unconventional--family, and she missed it every day. To have never had it at all... her heart broke for Alistair.

He was nervous as he knocked upon the door to Goldanna's house, but Elissa was practically giddy with anticipation and vicarious joy on his behalf.

It didn't last long.

Mere minutes later they were back out in the street, and that hurt look was back in Alistair's eyes, and he was trying to make jokes.

"Alistair...." she fumbled for words, reaching out to lay her hand alongside his face, stroking his cheek. Half of her wanted to soothe and placate him, tell him how wrong Goldanna was, how he didn't need family like that when he had her. The other half wanted to do something, anything to make sure he never let himself be hurt this way again.

"Everyone is out for themselves, Alistair," she heard herself saying, vaguely appalled at her own callousness. "You need to learn that."

He hung his head for a moment, then looked back up at her.

"Do what I feel like doing and hang them all, huh?" he asked, something dangerous sparking in his eyes.

"Do what you need to do to take care of yourself and hang them all," Elissa corrected him.

"Is that why you have Zevran in your tent every night?"

Her chin lifted. "Yes." The word came out cold, oddly clipped. She supposed she could have elaborated, told him why she needed Zevran, but that would come too close to defending herself. If he was ready to understand and accept her, he'd know why she was turning to Zevran. He wouldn't need an explanation.

She didn't realize Alistair had been advancing on her, or that she'd been backing slowly away, until she felt the rough, dirty wooden wall of Goldanna's house bump against her back.

Before she even had time to comprehend what was happening or how he had suddenly become the aggressor, his mouth was covering hers. No shyness or hesitation, no request for permission. He took the kiss from her, hungrily, unrelentingly, demanding her mouth open to the sweep of his tongue.

She wasn't sure she'd ever known a kiss could feel this way, that it could shake her to her very marrow. Desire that went far beyond sex flooded her body; the need to be closer to him, to be enveloped by him, to lose herself in him.

Her arms came around his neck, her hands stroking what little skin she could find exposed by his armor. It had nothing to do with the wish to advance toward sex and everything to do with the fact that she just needed to touch him, to feel him. She yearned closer to him, molding her body around his everywhere he pressed her against the wall of that shack, whimpering when his thigh pressed between hers.

Alistair wrenched his mouth away and rested his forehead on her shoulder, trembling, and she understood that he was shaken, too.

"I think about you every moment," he whispered, the words tumbling from his mouth in a breathless rush. "I hear you and Zevran and I touch myself, the way you told me to, trying to learn what will please you... Sometimes I think I'm going mad with wanting you."

His head came up and his eyes were hot and desperate. "Don't take Zevran into your tent," he pleaded, his voice low and growling. "Take me."

She wanted to. Maker how she wanted to! But she had to ask, had to be sure....

"Is this just because you want comfort?" Elissa whispered as she felt his lips against her neck. "Or do you really think you're ready to accept all that I am?"

He stilled immediately, another shudder running through him. Frozen with indecision he waited there, breathing by her ear. Slowly he pulled away.

"No," he said, not meeting her eyes. "You're right, I'm not."

Elissa practically moaned with despair. The warmth of his body retreated.

"I... I'm going to go now. I'll meet you outside the city later. It's probably better that I'm not near you at that moment."

He turned and walked away. He left her there, slumped and dazed against the wall, trembling and breathless and aching with want.

She didn't know whether she wanted to weep or scream with frustration.

She'd barely managed to compose herself when she rendezvoused with Zevran at the appointed time and place.

"Ah, my lovely Warden!" the Antivan exclaimed flamboyantly. "Are you ready to begin our game?"

Everything in her was a dangerous mass of longing, aching to be filled. She wanted to be fucked and fucked hard. Anything to make her forget the soul-shattering power of Alistair's kiss.

Suddenly nothing sounded like a better idea than Zevran's little game.

"More than ready," she snapped. "Let's go."

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