Zira Darkstar

A/N: Sorry it's been so long since I posted... between losing my muse, moving, and personal issues IRL, I haven't been on. We moved to an area without the internet for a while, so I just kept writing... I had almost finished nine more chapters and then my flash drive got broken somehow so I lost them... Needless to say I almost gave up... but I've had the time and means to write lately so I'm trying again. Oh and check out the Orin Dakall fic too. It was my inspiration to start this and I'm happy hear it's updating. ^.^

~As always, beta'd by the beautiful and tallented Envy.~

Chapter 16

Zira woke up early that morning feeling as though her entire head had been crushed by a land speeder. She sat up on her bed, putting a hand to her head and looking about the dimly lit room. She only vaguely recognized the room as her navy blue eyes skimmed it’s shadowed surfaces.

A soft rumbling caught her attention and she looked to a chair to see Carth asleep in the chair beside her bed. That man spends more time sleeping beside my bed then in one of his own…. Before she could decide whether or not that was a good thing a sharp pain shot down her spine again.

She waited for the pain to pass before standing up. Probably should let him get some sleep…. Guess I might as well have a look around. Zira stretched out, the previous days battle still aching in her muscles. Picking up the pair of blades that Carth had stood up against the wall, she moved across the room as she fastened both of the weapons back onto her person. She also noticed that the blaster from her side was still present at her hip.

It didn’t take her long to finish preparing her things and move out of the door. She could still see signs of blaster scoring on the walls and floor around her, “I thought so.” She quietly muttered to herself as she realized they were indeed staying in Selven’s apartment. She moved down the hallway, the blurry visions from the prior night still playing across her mind’s eye.

She could still see where the bodies of several Vulkars as well as Selven had fallen in battle. The bloody marks were still lingering on the floor where the cleaning droids must have given up. Looking around she noticed she was standing near a closed door. Shrugging she decided to take a look.

At first glance, it seemed as though the apartment within would be abandoned. In this kind of neighborhood, abandoned might mean ‘evicted.’ Wonder if they left anything useful behind. She began to fiddle with the door’s mechanism and it slid open almost without any work at all. The room looked as though someone could still be living there, with the exception of the layer of dust covering all the rooms surfaces.

“Evicted.” She stated aloud as she walked in and looked around. As she investigated the room she found a box encased in an energy barrier. Around it there were several holo-displays that seemed connected to it. It only took a moment for her to realize that the holo-displays were actually the locking system for the chest.

After several minutes studying the holo-displays in an attempt to discern their contents she found only names etched into each of their display plates. Shrugging she decided to return to the strange lock after examining the rest of the room. Wandering over to the desk in the corner the sight of a lone data pad covered in a thick layer of dust caught her attention.

Leaning against the wall she began browsing the latest entries, which consisted of a boring recitation of the history of the previous owner’s favorite band. She was about to toss the useless thing back down when one of the names on the page stood out. “Elinda…. Didn’t I see that name on that holo?” Moving back to the cresent of holo-displays she read over the name plates until she found the one she was looking for. Sure enough, the name was etched into the base plate and when she touched the display a life sized holo image of the woman known as Elinda came into place and began dancing and singing silently. “Interesting….”

She blushed a bit, realizing that she’d already gotten so used to traveling with Carth that she was speaking half of her thoughts aloud to no one. She began to read through the grueling message about the bands history, deciding to try and just go for the chronology of how the band was put together. Following Elinda, she activated several Bith plates: Ujaa, Ujii, Loopa, Fodo, and finally another human by the name of Ashana.

She was rewarded with a satisfying humming sound that came as the energy field deactivated. “Gotcha!” She called happily, a slight twinge of sadness as she realized she was enjoying this small victory alone. What the hell is wrong with me!? Why do I keep thinking about Carth…? I barely know him… and I know he doesn’t trust me…. So why?

She rummaged through the box and found some Echani Fiber Armor and fifty credits. She left the room, feeling pretty proud of herself and decided to check a few of the other rooms. Most of them were pretty empty, but she did find one that was locked. She cracked her knuckles and made very short work of the security system, the door hissed open, but this time before she could walk in she came practically face to face with a short green skinned Twi’lek. He looked as though he hadn’t showered in weeks and his skin had taken on a greasy reflective sheen. Lovely… He had an ugly reddish orange, flight suit on that looked as dingy as if he’d been on the inside of one of the vacuum droids.

He looked a bit starteld and didn’t even seem to be carrying a weapon. “Hey, you can’t come in here! This is a private apartment!”

Zira froze a second, she learned her lesson about approaching or moving for a weapon in this situation, “What are you doing in here? This place looks abandoned!” She said quickly, trying not to sound like a thief.

“None of your business. Just turn around and go back the way you came, if you know what’s good for you.” He said, his voice shaky.

Yay… another helpless dreg of society… Wonder what his problem is. She smiled, trying to look as friendly as possible, “Are you in some sort of trouble? Do you want to talk about it?”

The man collapsed backwards onto a shabby, broken chair. Zira was amazed to see that the dilapidated piece of furniture held his weight. He looked even more helpless, as he looked up at her, pleadingly and began to spill his story in Twi‘leki, “I… I guess I could tell you.” He paused a moment before looking even more defeated, “You’ll probably find out on your own eventually, anyway,” he added a bit ruefully. “Zax is giving his bounties away like candy, or so I hear. My name’s Matrik, I used to work for the Exchange, but all the violence and killing started getting to me.” Zira nodded, she recognized the name right off, though she was expecting someone who wasn’t so remorseful of what he’d done. “I knew what I was doing was wrong,” he continued, his shoulders sinking a bit more, “So I turned state’s evidence. My testimony helped put some of the biggest criminals on Taris away for life, but Davik didn’t like seeing his friends go down, so now he’s got a bounty on my head.”

Zira nodded again. Everyone makes mistakes. At least he realized that he was on his own and is now trying to do the right thing. “Maybe there’s some way I could help you out of this mess,” she blurted out, not really thinking about it.

“I don’t think there’s much anyone could do. And I’m getting sick of running. I’ve decided to make my stand right here.” Despite the conviction of his words, Zira disagreed with him.

Sure you just haven’t been motivated enough to run yet. She thought about it a moment before coming up with an idea, “Maybe you could fake your own death?”

The man waved a hand as if dismissing the thought, “I’ve already thought of that. I even came up with a plan of how to do it. But I can’t pull it off while I’m holed up in here.”

Zira fought the urge to roll her eyes, “Tell me your plan and I might help you out.”

Matrik shook his head, looking defeated again, “The trick is getting Davik to buy it when there’s no body found at the scene. If it looks like I died in a massive explosion, he won’t be suspicious when my corpse never turns up. If I had an accomplice go back and tell Davik that they were the one who set off the explosion to eliminate me, I think I’d be home free. I have some demolitions experience from my old days in the Exchange so I could set it all up. But I’d need to get my hands on a permacrete detonator.”

Zira shrugged, “I could get you a permacrete detonator.”

For the first time, Matrik looked a bit hopeful, “They don’t usually sell them in stores here in the Lower City, but the Upper City might carry them. You might want to look there first.”

She nodded politely, “Sure thing, but you might want to lock the door a bit better… any half-wit with security systems can crack that door. It practically opened itself.”

He looked up, total confusion on his face, so Zira spent the next few minutes helping set his door up with a better security set-up. It wouldn’t keep out a skilled person, but the average thug would probably have a hard time figuring it out.

As she worked the lock, her thoughts drifted to that of Carth. Poor guy must be getting sick of throwing my unconscious body onto a bed in some random place. Images of him straining to keep his composure while lugging a woman around drew a smile to the corners of her mouth.

After finishing her work, she wiped her brow with the back of her sleeve. All this to help a man I don’t even know. She started down the hallway again, her hand drifted up to her face all on it’s own. She touched her lips gently and her mind replayed the passionate kiss she’d given Carth. Imagined… Only imagined… She quickly corrected.

It’s not like he would have kissed me back like that anyway… The man doesn’t trust anyone. He’d probably see an advance like that as a personal attack. She mused to herself as she walked towards their room. Why am I even thinking about this!? Surely Carth has a wife. Or at least a girlfriend.

She stopped, her thumb inches away from the button to open the door. She suddenly felt as if she’d been kicked in the stomach. The idea of Carth with someone else seemed to drop a huge weight onto her shoulders, and the ache in her center stung even more.

The door opened, causing her to jump, Carth was standing in the doorway. Zira couldn’t help but notice how he seemed rather rugged standing there, his chin covered in light brown stubble. Zira felt heat burn in her cheeks as her mind imagined how wild Carth could be behind that boy scout demeanor.

“I really wish you wouldn’t wander off like that. Especially considering how many of those damned Vulkars are about.” He said dryly, “And with injuries no less.”

The color drained from her cheeks and was replaced with a bit of anger, “Excuse me… Thought maybe you could use some sleep. Besides, I don’t recall asking for a nurse maid.” Carth. Wild. Yeah right.

“Where did you go anyway?” He asked, folding his arms over his chest.

There’s that famous suspicion of yours… “I went for a walk, found us a job, and hopefully saved a somewhat innocent man’s life.”

“Oh well, in that case.” He threw out sarcastically, “Guess I should’ve taken the time to flip on the holo-tube and check out the standings on the local swoop circuit…”

“Funny, knowing that would actually make you somewhat useful!”

Carth shook his head and started to say something. She could see his chest swell as he began to draw a breath for what was sure to be a swarm of insults. Good! Get it out Carth! I’m sick of you being a spineless Hutt-slug! She thought angrily.

To her amazement, he deflated and spun on his heel. He turned and marched back into the room with particular drive. Zira stood there a moment and tried to collect her thoughts. It didn’t take long before Carth had spun around again. He had scooped up his rucksack and threw it over his shoulder.

He thundered past her out the door and began stalking down the hallway. For a moment Zira’s heart felt as if it came to a halt in her chest. No… Is… he leaving me? Zira began after him, trying several times to force words to her lips. The idea of Carth leaving struck a fear in her, of which she wasn’t sure she’d ever felt the like.

She reached out and touched his elbow mid-step, “C-Carth..?”

“Yes? What’s on your mind?” He asked, as dull and lifeless as if he were simply a protocol droid being forced to answer a random person.

“I just want to talk with you.” She said, realizing only after that it sounded pleading and needy.

“Oh? You want to argue some more, is that it?” He accused, his voice taking on a bit more of the angry tone.

Zira didn’t know why, but his anger was a welcome comfort. He’s usually angry. “No, I don’t want to argue with you.”

For the first time since leaving the room, Carth turned to look at her. She was a bit further relieved to see that his face didn’t harbor disgust. “And I don’t want to argue with you, either.” He looked her over and Zira felt a nervous shiver run the length of her spine. Something about the way his chocolate covered eyes scanned her sent her mind racing. “You seem… sincere enough, I guess.” He continued, “I just don’t trust easily, and for good reasons… which are my own.”

Zira touched his elbow lightly again, feeling a bit like a small child following an adult, “What reasons? I want to know.”

Carth threw both his arms into the air, pulling the one away from her. “Ahhh, damn it. I suppose I won’t get any rest until I talk, will I? You want to know why I don’t trust anyone?”

Zira nodded tentatively. She was biting her tongue and trying her hardest not to let his anger feed into her. “Fine, here goes. Five years ago the Jedi had just finished the war with the Mandolorians. Revan and malak were heroes. I was damn proud to have served in their fleet.

It was completely unexpected when they turned on us, invading the Republic while we were still weak. Nobody knew what to think, least of all me. Our heroes had become brutal, conquering Sith… and we were all but helpless before them. Think about it… if you can’t even trust the best of the Jedi, who can you trust?”

Me? “I suppose you can’t. That must have been hard to take.” She said, trying to sound soothing. She’d seen him angry, but this was the first time she heard what she thought to be pain in his voice. She realized how much she just wanted to step in front of him, throw her arms around him, and hug him. Tell him everything would be okay, that he could trust her. Can he though? A nagging thought sprang forth in her mind.

Just when she thought she couldn’t handle the doubt of her own mind, his voice once again came to her and tore her away from her thoughts. “I… it wasn’t even that. There were other: good, solid men. Trusted men who turned on us, as well, and joined their cause. Malak and Revan and the Sith deserve to die for what they’ve done… but the ones who fled the Republic and joined them are even worse. The dark side had nothing to do with why they joined the Sith. They deserve no mercy!”

Zira watched as a new face gripped the man who always seemed so caring. A face that looked like it couldn’t be persuaded with, or feel reason. A face without compassion or pity. “You say that with such…. Hatred.”

“I know. I… should apologize to you. I’ve become so accustomed to expecting the worst in others, and you’ve done nothing to deserve that. It’s just… never mind. Let’s just continue with what we were doing. I’d rather not talk about it.”

Zira drew a breath, but she decided not to say anything further. Instead, her mind rolled over the last things he’d said. You’ve done nothing to deserve that. She mentally quoted over and over. Despite the fact that moments before she’d felt as if her heart would fall right out of the bottom of her, she now felt as though there was a ray of hope. He’s beginning to trust me! The thought itself instilled so much excitement in her that she didn’t know if she could keep it bottled up. But can he? The pessimistic voice had returned. Can he trust you? You barely remember what you were doing before you’d met him, and everything that you do remember involves you being a dishonest smuggler!? How’s he going to cope with that…?

Zira’s mind continued to spiral downward as they walked. “I guess we’ll both just have to learn to trust me, together.” She whispered very softly to the voice in her head, hoping to sate the nagging.

It didn’t help.