Cross Blades

Author's note: Yes, Evil Cliffhanger is Evil. Sorry folks ;) So here's the next chapter a little early.

Thanks for all the comments, everyone! It makes me feel glad that people are enjoying my work (I started writing Halo fics because I couldn't find a good Arbiter/Rtas story, so I made one up and wrote the story I wanted to read).

In answer to some questions I've been asked (since I just learned I'm not supposed to reply in the review section):

People using some of my Sangheili culture/phrases/etc. in their stories: this is how fanon is born, and I don't mind as long as you give me credits in the author's notes as to where the idea first came from (this is to stop rumours that OMG BUNGIE SAID....) and, of course, that you're not copying directly from my story, or retelling my plots.

How long it takes me to write depends on how much uninterrupted writing time I have, but I can easily write a thousand words a day, over the course of an hour or two.

Now: I can't write chronologically (beginning to end). I always end up with pieces, from a sentence to a few pages of story, then I have to go back, use cut and paste to put the pieces in order, then write some more to bridge the gaps between the pieces. Just as an example, I finished Chapter 15 and 16 completely while Chapter 13 was only three or four paragraphs. Chapter 13 was actually the LAST chapter I finished. (I don't recommend people write this way--I have a learning/perception disability. If you can write beginning to end, do it--it's faster and doesn't make teachers cry.)

So: IF I was able to write every day for an hour, and IF the pieces I was writing all belonged to the same chapter (which happens sometimes), it would take me 4 days to write most of the pieces, another day or two to bridge them together into something readable, then the chapter would spend a few weeks in edits, during which I'd read it about ten times (this is how I fix the fact that I don't write chronologically: edit, edit, edit, edit some more, until the end product makes sense.)

How often do I search for the right word: not very long, because before I write a section, I imagine myself as the point-of-view character. When I'm "in the character's head", the words come naturally, because I've already matched my thought-style to theirs. As a result, it's very weird when people around me try to talk to me while I'm writing, because I'm so immersed in my story and character, that I'm still thinking in the character's point of view. I've been told it's like a trance state. I have to snap back to "myself" before I can give a coherent answer. For example, if asked what I want to drink with dinner, Usze's answer is wine(which I personally hate), N'tho's answer is Coke, and my real-life answer is probably tomato juice, but I'll answer in-character, automatically, unless I'm "woken up" first. It's particularly weird if I'm writing a character whose language style is very different from mine: more formal, or more profane, or accented or what have you... Sex scenes are really no different: I'm using the words the character would use to describe what he's doing. Let me tell you, I don't think I ever want to write a sex scene from Tartarus' point of view because that would just be /nasty/ what goes on in his head....

During the edit process, I do change awkward or unclear words or phrases. Sometimes I try something, leave it, come back the next edit, still don't like it, try something else. After ten edits it's probably as good as it's getting...

Kusovai: everyone go buy the Halo Graphic novel if you haven't already. No Sangheili fan should be without it.

And now, the main show:

*

Cross Blades

Chapter the Sixteenth: Hope’s Vow


Thick purple blood soaked into the fibres of the throw rug. Usze saw Nitro’s blood on his hands, his thigh.

‘Taham hadn’t been prepared for the strength of his guilt. He didn’t realize it would hurt so much, to know that he’d been the one to skin Nitro alive.

But it had to be done.

Usze reached down onto the tiled floor and picked up a sodden lump that had once been part of N’tho ‘Sraom. He grasped it by the corner, letting it dangle.

“Here,” he said, holding it in front of Nitro’s face.

The bloody square of hide had a Mark of Punishment branded into its centre.

*

“Mother fucker,” N’tho replied through gritted mandibles, squeezing a blood-soaked towel tighter over the raw, skinless patch on his right shoulder. “When you say something’s going to hurt…” His head was finally starting to clear, as though the pain of his fresh injury was bringing the world back into focus.

“I don’t ever want to hear that garbage coming out of your mouth again,” Usze replied sternly, arms folded. “That nonsense about me being ashamed of you. I have no regrets over anything we did together on Earth. I don’t care if the entire fleet knows that we are…were…that we spent our time on Earth mating. I’m not ashamed of anyth…”

His voice faltered and Nitro jumped on it. “Not ashamed, hm? Okay: Warthog, Warthog, Warthog.”

Usze turned purple.

N’tho folded his arms, victorious.

“I’m still somewhat…addled…about that Warthog incident, but that’s not the same as regretting it.” Usze got down on his knees besides ‘Sraom and began fastening a bandage over the wound. “I didn’t stay away because I was embarrassed to be seen with you.”

“You’ve stained your honour,” N’tho said quietly.

“Hm?”

“You made me bleed, not in combat. You know, it’s why they look down on the surgeons. What are your Ascetics going to say about that? What about…”

“I don’t care,” Uzi replied. “Nitro, what I’m telling you is classified. You must swear to keep your mouth shut. Do you understand?”

N’tho was about to make a joke, but it died on his tongue as he realized that Usze had never looked more serious. “Yes, sir, I understand.”

“The Ascetics told me to kill the Arbiter.”

N’tho felt his mandibles drop. “Holy shit…you’re not gonna do it, are you?”

“No. I told the Arbiter. Warned him. The Ascetics and Imperial Admiral Xytan ‘Jar Wattin are planning a coup. Any day now the fleet’s going to split into civil war.”

“Fuck,” N’tho breathed.

“Nitro…” Usze squeezed his mate’s hand. “As soon as the Ascetics realize the Arbiter’s still alive, they’re going to know that I either failed, or betrayed them. As soon as they realize I’m alive, they’re going to make an example of me. I’m going to die, Nitro.” Usze took N’tho’s lower mandibles in his hands again and guided the younger warrior to look him in the eye. He smiled sadly. “And I want you to live for me,” he murmured. “I want to think that you have a bright and shining future ahead of you. So I asked the Arbiter a favour, and he granted it. Your absolution has gone out over the BattleNet.”

N’tho’s eyes widened. “What?”

“You have been formally pardoned by the Dervish-King, and the mark of your punishment has been removed.” He looked N’tho in the eyes. “Son of the keep of ‘Sraom, this is not a forgiveness of sins. All of Sanghelios has been informed that you had no responsibility in your grandfather’s crimes and therefore, no sin accrued to you. Ever. That Mark of Punishment was, and always has been, a mistake. As long as the Arbiter is in power, you are wholly forgiven.”

“Well thanks,” N’tho said, “but Uzi, you scared the fucking shit out of me. I thought you were going to kill me.”

Usze sighed, looking guilty. “I think part of me wanted to scare you a little. I think you’re right—I really am an asshole, aren’t I? I’m…I’m very sorry.” He bent over, mopping up some of N’tho’s blood on the floor with the already-blood-soaked rug, and then winced. “It was very hard to hurt you…I’m sorry…”

“You’re sorry?” N’tho pulled his hand away. “Didn’t you hear me before? I said, I was fucking every guy in the fleet who’d look at me right before you showed up. I didn’t wait for you. And you know what? Maybe getting rid of that brand didn’t change anything. Maybe I’m still a slut. Maybe I still don’t deserve you…at all….” He drew breath and let out a choked sob.

Usze rose to his feet. “It’s not fair for me to be angry, Nitro. We never made any commitment to each other. We never took any vows.” ‘Taham started pacing the room in agitation. “That, I think, is my fault, for dithering instead of asking you outright.” He wrung his hands. “I hadn’t even figured out whether you would be interested in such an arrangement.” Usze came over and sat on the side of the bed. “You said it yourself, Nitro,” he murmured. “Maybe you like the freedom to mate with whomever you please.”

N’tho’s mandibles gaped as he took a seat beside Uzi. “You mean you don’t care if I fool around on you?”

Usze bowed his head, closed his eyes. “It’s not an easy thing for me to think about,” he said quietly. “But I will not be like Epse ‘Gamul. I can give you orders on a professional basis, but when it comes to your personal life, I can’t tell you what you can and can’t do, or who you must or must not mate with. I do not have that right.” He let out a shuddering breath. “But it makes me sick to imagine you giving yourself to…to anyone who doesn’t care for you like I do.”

N’tho touched a hand to Usze’s cheek in wonder and smiled softly. “I like being your hero.” N’tho licked the Blademaster’s neck. “I’m gonna follow you around and save your ass from the Ascetics.”

“No. Nitro, you can’t have anything to do with me again.” Usze pushed him away, looking miserable even as he did it.

“Fuck you, Uzi. You can’t deny I’m good at saving your ass.” He offered Uzi a crooked smile.

“Nitro…” Usze let out a long, slow breath. “The Ascetics aren’t fools. They know I’m a Blademaster. They aren’t going to send a few mercenaries with plasma pistols after me. They’re going to send someone even I can’t defeat…someone like the Blood Shadow.”

“Come on Uzi, there’s no such thing as the Blood Shadow.” But N’tho’s spine prickled. The Ascetics probably would send the most lethal, most frightening, most col-blooded killer they could find.

And he wasn’t entirely sure that the Blood Shadow wasn’t just a legend told to scare the hatchlings.

“That’s not the point. The point is…somehow, some way, the Ascetics aren’t going to stop until they kill me, and I don’t think that even the Arbiter and Rtas ‘Vadum can wipe out the Ascetics first. Not with Imperial Admiral Xytan ‘Jar Wattin on their side.” Uzi dared to lick N’tho’s muzzle. “I don’t want them to kill you, too. Don’t you understand? If I came back to you, I’d lead those assassins right to you.” He picked up N’tho’s hand and pressed it to the scars on his abdomen. “You’re in danger right now, and every second I’m here with you makes it worse, and I…” His voice broke. “And I can’t make myself leave you.”

“I don’t want you to leave,” N’tho said, his voice thick. “Come on Uzi, don’t be stupid. I turned that Mongoose around on the Omega Halo…I fell from the sky in half a ship…do you really think I’m afraid of assassins?”

“Nitro, we’re going to die.”

“Fuck ‘em! What do I have, Uzi? What do I have in life? I’ve got Piro, SpecOps, and you. That’s it. SpecOps needs the Arbiter and ‘Vadum a hell of a lot more than it needs ‘Jar Wattin, and you…who do you have, besides me?”

Usze’s head bowed in defeat. “Nobody.” He lifted his muzzle. “What about Piro?”

“As long as I’ve known him, Piro has been telling me to stand up for what’s right,” N’tho replied. “I always bowed down instead. Not this time. Dammit, Usze, what we have…isn’t it something worth fighting for? How often can we keep making the same mistakes over and over? How often can you pull away from everyone who wants to help you? How often can I keep looking for hope in all the wrong places? Usze, this is our chance! If we sacrifice that, what do we have left?”

*

Usze heard his own words to the Arbiter thrown back at him and realized ‘Sraom was right.

Walking away from Nitro, no matter how it hurt, was still the easier choice. Usze could die a hundred deaths if he knew Nitro was safe; it was so much harder to gamble with both their lives for a shot at something better. He felt guilty for involving N’tho in his problems; then he realized that the guilt was his Ascetic ego talking again, the voice that told him to face every challenge alone, because a Perfect Warrior wouldn’t need anyone else.

Their time might be short. There were things that needed doing, and saying. This might be the only opportunity that Usze and N’tho would have to do them.

Usze swallowed, feeling woefully unprepared, knowing he would not do this the way it ought to be done…and yet all too aware of what might happen should he put it off again.

“Nitro,” Usze whispered. “I…I need to show you something.”

Nitro raised his head curiously.

“It’s in the holding compartment in my armour. I’ll be right back.” He bunted N’tho and licked his cheek.

“Can I…” Nitro’s eyes shimmered.

“Yes, my hero?” Usze murmured.

“Can I get in the bed?”

“Of course you may.”

“And when…” ‘Sraom’s voice hitched.

“Yes?”

“When you come back, will you….”

“Yes?” He stroked his mate, who closed his eyes and sighed.

“Will you hold me?”

“Yes, Nitro. Yes, I will.”

N’tho purred softly. “Hurry back.”

*

N’tho ‘Sraom heard Usze rummaging around in the head. He shifted his hips in the bed, but he still felt very uncomfortable. His genital vent was aching terribly, ever since the shower, even though Uzi had tried to be gentle when cleaning him. N’tho gritted his mandibles, choking back a sob, wondering what the hell he’d been thinking. He really didn’t have any self-respect, did he? Why had he let the gun crew mate him until it hurt him?

Fuck…here was Usze, naked, in his room, and he was so damned sore that he didn’t think he could let Uzi enter him without screaming from the pain.

He’d wasted his opportunity to be with Uzi again, all because he was such a slut.

Whimpering, N’tho fumbled around in his bedside drawer for the little bottle of salve he kept in there. The thick substance should work its magic and he’d be fine in a day or two…

Dear Ancestors, Forerunners, Jesus, Buddha, Athena, and any other God(s) or Spirit(s) who might give a fuck, if you can please just let Usze stay around long enough to be with me…until I’m healed enough to be with him…I swear I’ll…well, let me know what you want and it’s yours. I swear this on the blood of my father, whoever he was, and I would swear it on the blood of my sons if I had any. Amen.

N’tho retrieved the jar. This was going to be messy and awkward; it always was. Sighing, he got out of bed, unscrewed the lid, set it on the dresser, and put one of his legs up onto the bed, wincing at the stretching sensation caused by his movement.

Then the door to the head opened. “What are you doing?” Usze asked, looking amused at the sight of his friend trying to balance with one foot on his mattress and the other on the floor while holding a jar in his hands.

“Can you just go back into the bathroom for a minute?”

“Certainly, but…curiousity demands I ask again…what in the name of all things holy are you doing?”

“I’m sore, okay?” N’tho snapped, sucking in a breath as a tear escaped one eye. “I need some salve on it.”

“Let me do it,” Usze offered, briskly walking across the room to retrieve the jar.

N’tho jerked it away from his grasp. “No, Usze, it’s…It’s for…” He took a deep breath. “There.”

“Where?”

“Down there,” N’tho repeated, his cheeks burning with shame.

“Ohhhh,” Usze said as comprehension dawned. He looked down, swallowed, then faced Nitro once more. “Let me do it?”

“You’d do that for me?” N’tho whispered.

Usze took the salve in his right hand and cupped Nitro’s cheek in his left. “I don’t like to see you hurting.”

“I deserve it,” Nitro whispered.

“I don’t care,” Uzi replied gently. “I don’t like to see you hurting. I want to see you smiling…purring…happy…”

N’tho half choked, but he nodded.

“Here,” Uzi murmured, patting the bunk. “Lie on your back.”

N’tho obeyed, gladly. He settled himself on the pillow and swallowed hard before spreading his thighs.

“How do I do this?”

“Put it on your finger.” N’tho gulped. “The first…you should spread around the outside of my vent. Then get some more and put it, er…” Why was he suddenly so nervous? As though he hadn’t been doing much worse things to get in pain in the first place! “Put it…inside.”

Nitro closed his eyes, suddenly too nervous to watch as Usze made a gentle circuit of his vent.. Somehow it was as though removing the sense of sight made it easier for his mind to concentrate on his other senses, particularly the way it felt when Usze’s salve-coated finger slipped inside him.

Aaaaahhhhh.

It felt so good…cool, soothing, relief. He moved his hips to help ensure the salve coated him all over inside. He felt his muscles clenching on Uzi’s finger…yes, that was nice.

Then Usze carefully slipped out of him. He mewed, not ready for that. His eyes flew open and he saw Uzi’s face near his.

“More?”

N’tho nodded. He wondered if the nod counted as a lie. He didn’t really need any more; then again, he did want more…

Usze greased up his finger and slipped back inside. Nitro moaned in delight. A finger wasn’t big enough to stretch him and make him hurt when he was so tender inside, and it just felt so good to have Usze back inside him again…

…by the Rings, the mistake he’d made. He didn’t want any other male inside him ever again.

“Usze,” he sighed as his hips began to pump. “Uzi, it feels so good…”

The Blademaster leaned over and began to lap Nitro’s throat, long, slow licks in time with the beat of Nitro’s thrusts.

Nitro struggled to keep his self-control. “Uzi, I don’t need any more to heal,” he said in a rush.

“Do you like this?” Usze murmured.

“Yes…but…oh…” He closed his eyes, gritted his teeth, forced out the words. “This is just me being horny now.”

“This is you feeling pleasure,” ‘Taham corrected. “And you know how I love to watch you revel in pleasure.”

N’tho gasped.

“Watch,” Uzi whispered, letting his other hand trail down to N’tho’s vent where his shaft was beginning to emerge from inside, even as Usze’s finger gently started thrusting in and out, in and out, of the opening behind his shaft. Uzi licked his cheek. “Wait.”

He withdrew. Nitro mewled, watching Usze slick both hands with the salve, and then return…return to slide his finger back inside while his other hand, moist and slick, wrapped gently around his shaft, surrounding it in a tight, wet, milking grip….

‘Sraom threw back his head and writhed, helpless in the clutches of Usze’s ministrations. He could hear the Blademaster laughing softly. “Nitro…you’re so beautiful…”

And N’tho abandoned himself to his mate…his dearest battle brother.

*

Usze gently toweled N’tho off and dropped the towel on the floor. He climbed into the bed and lay himself down next to Nitro, listening to his lover’s hearts pounding as he came down from his peak.

The bed was small—a typical single occupancy bunk—but Usze didn’t mind being close to N’tho. “Remind you of anything?” he mused, smiling.

“You feel so good naked,” N’tho purred, cuddling closer. “Just like back on Earth.”

“Mmmm. I was thinking of cramming ourselves into my little bunk on our way to the Ark.”

“That too. Do you have enough room?”

“I do if you do.” N’tho paused. “By the Rings, I missed you so badly.”

“I’m so sorry this all went wrong,” Usze murmured as he stroked Nitro’s hide. “You must understand, this isn’t how it was supposed to end up for us. I want to be with you…I don’t know how much time I have left…I don’t know how to protect you.”

“Shush,” Nitro whispered. “Live in the present with me.”

Usze smiled sadly and sat up in bed. “Can you give me just a minute in the best of all possible futures?” He reached out and picked up the box he had set on the end table. “I need to give you this because,” he swallowed, “if the Ascetics assassinate me, I want you to have this, to know…to know how I felt about you.”

*

The box was a strange-looking thing, coloured a dull grey, constructed with hard, square corners and covered in a soft but artificial-smelling fur. Its appearance was completely at odds with the curved, iridescent, swirling Covenant architecture, nor was it reminiscent of Sangheili aesthetics which tended to feature triangle designs, spires, and acute angles and incorporate natural materials such as stone, hide and wood. N’tho had no idea what it could be. He sat up, accepted the gift, and pried open the lid.

A snarl of silver linked chain lay in a snarl within. N’tho reached in to pick up the object, slowly untangling it, when he realized that it was not one chain but two entwined together. They were the proper size to encircle a Sangheili’s wrist. Each bore a single central plate, upon which was engraved a set of symbols.

N’tho dropped them as though they had electrocuted him.

With trembling hands he reached back into the box and carefully caught the bracelets in his fingers, one in each hand. They were linked together in the middle and would not come apart unless he opened one. His hands were shaking too much to separate them, because they had no clasp—they were designed to be welded shut and worn permanently—and right now, each had a single link still partially open so that they might be wrapped around the wearer’s wrist. Manipulating that open link was beyond N’tho’s abilities at the moment, because he could not tear his gaze from one of the engraved plates.

The symbols of the Merchant House of ‘Taham and the ‘Sraom Keep were interlinked on either side of the plate. At the top was N’tho’s name, at the bottom, Usze’s, and in the center a pictograph incorporating elements of both names into a single whole.

The layout of the faceplate was identical to the traditional pattern engraved on the cuffs worn by bondmates.

“This is from Earth, isn’t it?” N’tho asked.

“You got these made when we were still on Earth.”

Usze nodded again.

“You said you weren’t the consort type!” N’tho said accusingly.

“I don’t do things by half measures,” Usze retorted tightly, folding his arms across his chest. “If you’re going to be with someone, I don’t see the point in calling them your consort and refusing to finalize the union.”

N’tho shook his head, stupified. “The point of having a consort is to give yourself time to see if you like someone enough to want to spend the rest of your life with the guy. Or girl, if you like that sort of thing.”

“I don’t need any more time to know the answer to that question. If you do, I understand.”

N’tho swallowed, his mouth bone dry. He hadn’t dared to imagine that someone might want to be his bondmate, not for years. He’d had that dream well and truly crushed out of him.

Then, Usze.

But was Uzi simply making this offer out of an Ascetic’s code of honourable conduct?

“So, you’re saying you love me, then.”

Usze let out an exasperated growl. “This is part of why I didn’t ask you on Earth already…I’ve only had so much time for research.”

“You’re researching whether or not you’re in love with me?” N’tho said dryly.

“That’s not the sort of thing you want to get wrong,” Usze retorted. “How else am I supposed to know what love feels like?”

“How did you feel when you were away from me?” Nitro asked softly.

“Well…” Usze flushed. “Frisky, particularly when I thought about our, ah, intimate encounters…but that was only part of it. I was also lonely in other ways.” He licked his mate. “I miss our discussions. I miss sharing experiences with you, going places, doing things, with you. I miss your scent, your laugh, the feel of you, the sound of your voice. I even miss your stupid jokes, though I’ll deny that if you ever mention it.” He scowled.

N’tho laughed.

Usze nudged his mate with his muzzle until ‘Sraom grew serious. “I would think about you with other males, and I would be very jealous, angry and sickened…but I don’t think that’s love, N’tho. That’s ‘Gamul’s petty, controlling behaviour. There can be no betrayal when we had no oaths to one another.” He pulled N’tho close to him. “I will confess to feeling very possessive, though…” Then he lapped N’tho’s cheek. “But in the end, I feel I must accept you for who you are. For everything you were, and for everything you will be. I cannot choose parts of you and change others. This must be all or nothing, and I choose all of you…just as you are.”

N’tho closed his eyes. “Sounds like you might be in love all right,” he murmured into Uzi’s earbud. “Love sucks.”

*

Usze was torn between rolling his eyes in exasperation at the ridiculous, slang-tainted, pessimistic statement, gritting his mandibles in anger that this was the response he was getting from baring his soul, and holding Nitro very close until he could convince the other male that there were good things to come from being in love. What in the planets and heavens could possess Nitro to say such a thing?

“Why?” ‘Taham whispered, suddenly frightened.

“I fucking hate being in love,” ‘Sraom murmured.

“You’ve been in love, then?”

“Yeah.” He opened his eyes. “This isn’t counting family love, like, I loved my mom, or stuff like Piro, y’know, I love him, but not the mate with him kind of love. More like he was my uncle or something, even though he’s not. That kind of love’s okay.”

“Go on,” Usze murmured, stroking Nitro.

“If you’re talking the mating kind of love, I guess I’ve been in love three times.”

“Why do you hate it? I thought it was supposed to be nice?”

“It is at first. Then it hurts. It hurts real bad, like you wish it was a plasma burn, because those at least scab over and heal, but this doesn’t. It hangs around and keeps hurting and hurting….”

“Will you…tell me?”

N’tho took a deep breath. “Okay. The first guy, it was soon after my graduation from War College. We were in the 812th together, and we were…” He swallowed hard. “Consorts, and it was pretty serious. We were talking about being bondmates and everything.”

“What happened?”

“My grandfather did his cowardly-retreat thing, and he and most of his family line got put to death for it.”

“Your mother…your uncles…” Usze could not imagine the horror of having his whole family wiped out in a single blow.

“My mom was already dead. She died of complications from laying her second fertilized egg. The egg…wasn’t viable. It would have been twins.”

It wasn’t uncommon for double-yolk eggs to damage the mothers, due to the eggs’ size, nor for one or both twins to die before or soon after hatching.

“But yeah, my uncles were all killed, and their younger children as well. Any of the children who’d survived long enough to make it to War College or Finishing School, or beyond, were allowed to live, but they were all branded with the Mark of Punishment. Most of my cousins preferred suicide to a life of shame.” N’tho swallowed. “My consort said he couldn’t cope with the idea of being involved with a shamed creature like myself and ended the relationship.” He buried his muzzle in Usze’s throat.

“That’s over,” Usze soothed, pressing gently on the bandage taped over N’tho’s fresh wound.

N’tho cuddled for a while, then drew a deep breath. “The second guy….what an asshole. He was a soldier from the 58th, stationed on the same ship as myself and the rest of the 812th. We hung out together, had some good times...then he said he loved me and asked if I wanted to go with him to Chy’ari on leave, just me and him. I should have been doing work, but after what he said to me, I pulled some strings and went, and we had a great time. But when we got back to the ship, the next thing I knew, there was a new unit arrived on board—I think it was the 323rd—and my mate was fooling around with all the new guys while I was getting bitched out for skipping out on work. I confronted him about it, and he laughed in my face. Said he just wanted someone to party with on leave, and I was a fool for taking him seriously. Fuck. I should’ve known better but I really wanted it to be true, you know, I really wanted to think someone could love me for what I am…so I ignored all the signs…fuck…”

Usze lapped the tears from his eyes, coaxing him to continue. “And the third? Another asshole?”

“Yeah,” N’tho said, snuggling closer. “Of course, he had the courtesy to warn me about that in advance…I’m more concerned that he’s an assassin magnet…and if he gets himself killed it is going to suck so much….”

Usze felt N’tho’s hot tears on his chest and realized who Nitro was talking about.

Of course. The realization hit ‘Taham like a hammer. “You weren’t fooling around because you don’t love me,” Usze murmured. “You were fooling around because you felt betrayed. Again. Am I right?”

N’tho nodded, tears staining his cheeks.

“Do you want me now?”

“Yes.” N’tho sniffed. “You’re the only one I want.”

“Then you will have me.” He licked away Nitro’s tears. “You are forgiven. Let us have no more worry about your history.”

“Can I be with you? To stay?” He reached into the box and gripped the two bracelets tightly.

“Nitro…”

“I love you, Uzi. And I want to be with you, no matter what happens.”

“Nitro, I want nothing more.”

They held each other. Tightly. They licked and nuzzled and rubbed and when they stopped for breath, N’tho was lying on top of Usze. A sharp shock of awareness shot through them both and they stared into one another’s widening eyes.

“Hey….can I?” Nitro asked nervously.

“Will it hurt you?” Usze replied softly.

“Not if I’m the one mounting…”

“Yes,” the Blademaster murmured, carefully positioning his legs outside of N’tho’s, settling himself in position. “You may.”

“Ready?” ‘Sraom asked nervously; as always, he was so concerned about getting it just right.

Usze closed his eyes. “Yes.”

N’tho entered him very gently. With his shaft so slick from Usze’s salve massage, he slid in quick and deep; once in, Nitro seemed in no hurry to get on with it. He licked and cuddled his mate, appearing perfectly happy just to savour their union.

Usze wrapped his arms around Nitro and held him close. By the Rings, how he’d missed this. Only now did he dare examine his own heart and realize how grieved he’d been to think that he might never be with Nitro again.

That road, for good or ill, was closed now.

“You. Me. Together. Forever,” Nitro whispered.

“Yes,” Uzi replied, and their pact was sealed. “Against any odds, through joy and sorrow, in this world and the next.”

With those words, Usze ‘Taham realized that any bonding ceremony they might ever have would be done late, after the fact.

They were one.

Tonight.