A Match for the Mandalore

Jennet



I slept twelve hours, and didn’t dream at all. When I woke, I was disoriented and tired, with a hollow feeling that I realized after a moment was hunger. I was absolutely famished. The disorientation faded and I recalled where I was, and felt Canderous nearby. Before opening my eyes and trying to move, I took stock, and found my healing was back. I could tell though that it was as I had described it to Disciple the other day; it was working, but very slowly, and I knew I wouldn’t be able to use it on anyone else until I got some fuel and probably more sleep. But I was whole, and healed, and knew that it would take very little to get me back to my normal self now.



Good, you’re awake. How do you feel?



I opened my eyes and saw Canderous sitting on a chair near the bed, watching me. The voice in my head was full of concern, but I knew he had already assessed my condition. I smiled.



Hungry, I answered. Starved, in fact. Feed me?



“I ordered breakfast a few minutes ago,” Canderous said aloud. “I felt you start to wake up, and figured you’d need food.”



“A man after my own heart,” I said.



“Yeah, well, don’t get too excited. Ladria told me that you should take it slow, make sure you can keep it down. Oatmeal to start with, and if it doesn’t make you sick, we’ll try something more solid.”



“I hate oatmeal,” I complained.



“Tough.”



I scowled; he remained implacable.



“Good thing you’re not a doctor, your beside manner sucks,” I sniped.



He smiled. “Thanks,” he said sincerely. “I know you’re feeling better if you’re bitching at me.”



“I want a shower, and to get dressed.” I started to sit up, and my head swam.



Canderous was beside me in an instant, firmly pressing me back down with a big hand on my shoulder. “You’ll stay in bed until you’ve eaten. Then you’ll try to stand.” He kissed me to soften the order. He smelled like soap and musk and man. I sniffed appreciatively, and kissed him back.



“Tyrant,” I said without heat.



He smiled again, and went to collect breakfast from the kitchen food processor.



I sat up carefully, and slowly ate a bowl of oatmeal, grimacing. It was heavily sweetened, which helped, but it still tasted like sugared paste to me. It stayed down, and good deal of my equilibrium was restored. Canderous wasn’t eating and I asked why.



“I ate an hour ago. I can have real food, no point in flaunting it.” He grinned. I scowled again.



“Can I have some eggs?” I wheedled.



“Tell you what – eat another bowl of oatmeal, and we’ll see.”



I did, and felt almost normal, if still tired. Canderous got me the promised eggs and some toast to go with it. I drank some juice too, several glasses, and looked around for more food. Grinning happily, he ordered some more.



If I had any doubts about your recovery, watching you eat relieves my mind.



I just smiled, and dug in, this time with my old relish. Every bite was giving me strength, and by the time I finished, I felt great. When Canderous finally allowed me out of bed, I felt only a little light-headed.



I insisted on a shower, and considered asking him to join me but on reflection realized I wasn’t quite up to what that would lead to. He caught the thought, and said mildly that he’d showered already; there would be time enough for fun when I was ready. So I got clean and dressed and felt worlds better.



“So what are we going to do today?” I asked.



“My thought is to stay in our room, maybe watch some holovids. You really need to sleep some more, or at least rest. Ladria said you shouldn’t do much today, but you should be just fine tomorrow.”



“You two have been getting chummy while I’ve been out,” I said crankily. It was stupid, I knew, he didn’t remotely feel anything but friendship toward her, nor her to him. But I was a teeny bit jealous that he was suddenly talking about her like her word was gospel.



He looked at me, knowing exactly what was in my head, and said gravely, “She’s very concerned, and has grown extremely fond of you. Her advice and help has been invaluable, and she’s been instrumental in keeping me sane while I was out of my head with worry. But thanks for the jealousy, it’s flattering.”



I was ashamed, and mumbled, “I’m sorry. I know I’m being stupid. I’m grateful she looked out for you as well as helped me.”



“Don’t worry about it. I don’t like it at all when Atton flirts with you, and I know perfectly well he doesn’t mean anything by it. Doesn’t stop me from wanting to hit him.”



“I’m impressed with your restraint,” I said, absolutely sincerely.



“Yeah, well, let’s just hope he doesn’t push me too hard,” he grumbled.



“Is this going to be a problem? I’m a bit of a flirt myself, you know, and while I don’t want to hurt you, I don’t like the idea of changing the way I am to accommodate your, er, protective instincts.” I was honestly curious. I am willing to compromise, but didn’t like it if he expected me to turn into a meek little woman that didn’t speak to other men without his permission.



He considered the question seriously, and answered slowly, “I can’t promise I won’t overreact from time to time. But I do trust you; you don’t have a disloyal bone in your body. I love you the way you are; I don’t want you to change anything. If you can see when I’m getting…protective,” he raised an eyebrow at me, “and maybe show me it’s not necessary…” and back the hell off, stop flirting back, and let me cool down…



I caught the unspoken part loud and clear, and with some difficulty didn’t laugh.



“…then I guess it won’t be a problem.” He concluded.



Then something he’d said hit me like a swoop bike crashing into a bulkhead.



“Say that again,” I said.



“I guess it won’t be a problem,” he answered, smiling, knowing perfectly well what I’d meant.



“Before that.”



“If you can see when I’m getting protective…” he said obediently, his smile getting wider.



I went over to him, put my arms around him, and stood on tiptoe. He met me halfway, and everything he felt was in his kiss. He looked down at me, his eyes bright.



“I love you the way you are.” He said gruffly.



“Shorten that,” I said.



“You’re not going to make this easy for me, are you?”



“Never,” I answered, smiling.



He paused a moment, and I heard him say it in my head just before he said it out loud.



“I love you,” he said, hoarsely, his blue eyes not leaving mine.



“I love you too.” I said, and kissed him.



My heart was full to bursting, and I wanted to cry, and sing, and dance, and run down the hall and shout it to everyone. I settled for kissing him breathless, and holding him as close and I could with our clothes still on. I discovered he was ever so slightly trembling, and it struck me that this was harder for him than battle, or even standing by, helpless, while other people healed me. I was awed by his courage and made sure he knew it, wordlessly. The trembling stopped after a moment.



“That wasn’t as hard as I thought it would be,” he said finally.



I smiled. “So say it once a day. You’ll get used to it.”



“I can probably manage that,” he said seriously.



I scanned his thoughts and face and realized he wasn’t being sarcastic, or bantering, it was a straightforward comment. He was setting up a strategy to accomplish several things at once: making me happy by telling me out loud regularly he loved me; desensitizing himself to his knee-jerk reaction to saying it; and – this one was a surprise - honoring me and Gerda by finding the courage to do so. It was so typically Canderous I wanted to laugh, but held it back in both throat and mind. It was the closest I would ever see him as earnest, I knew. It touched me deeply that he was willing to try so hard to make me happy.



Of course, that’s when everyone and their brother arrived. The whole crew traipsed into our room when Canderous, with a mild oaf and not a little relief, opened the door. There was a buzzing of talk, exclaiming over my recovery so far, and well wishes all around. I was almost bowled over by the sincere concern and relief that was directed at me. They all had become very dear to me and I got a little teary knowing they felt the same. Mira even hugged me, and grumbled something about scaring her. I apologized, and she just grinned.



“Yeah, well, I can’t count how many times I’ve been badly hurt in a fight. Don’t worry about it.”



Ladria and Visas checked me over carefully and pronounced me healed.



“Don’t think this means you’re completely well. I expect you to rest today, but tomorrow you should be just fine,” Ladria admonished.



“Yes, Ma’am,” I said meekly. She laughed. I liked it, and I suspected she didn’t laugh often enough. I saw Atton turn toward the sound, and smile.



“We’ll go now, and let you rest. Take good care of her,” she said to Canderous, and he grimaced.



“I’ll try. She’s pretty stubborn.” But his eyes on me were warm. I was astonished. He was bantering?



“You’ve done an excellent job so far. I expect no less from my crew,” she said, a hint of teasing in her voice.



“Aye, Captain,” Canderous said gravely.



“Since I have everyone present…we leave the day after tomorrow. Report back to the Ebon Hawk then, everyone, 0700. We’ll take off as soon as we’re ready.”



Everyone sobered at that, but looked unsurprised. There were nods, and murmurs of agreement.



“I don’t want anyone to go back unless it’s personal until then,” she said sternly. “We’re ready as we’ll ever be. Provisions are on board, weapons and armor are ready, kolto packs prepared. I expect you all to do nothing but enjoy some time to yourselves for the next two days. If I’m needed, I’ve available by comlink. But make sure it’s important, not just fretting. You all deserve a break, and I want you rested and ready to go. See you then,” she finished, and gathering up the crew, left. The mood had lightened, and cheerful chattering followed them out the door. I caught a snatch of conversation about going to the refugees, and was glad.



“You know,” Canderous said thoughtfully after everyone was gone, “I really think - no, I know we’re going to succeed in this mission.”



“I’m glad to hear it, but what makes you so sure?”



“I’ve found you, for one.”



I was pleased at that, but didn’t comprehend what I had to do with his sudden optimism, and said so.



“I’ve said that I’ve felt the Force was at work,” he said slowly, trying to articulate his thoughts.



There are so many wrong things about a Mandalorian talking about faith in the Force. But from Canderous, it wasn’t. Mostly.



“Yeah, I know. I can’t argue that,” I said. Then his train of thought caught up to me. “You think that as the Mandalore, you’re supposed to have a mate, and now that you do, it’s a sign you’ll succeed in your personal ambition to rebuild your culture? And that won’t – can’t - happen until we’re done here?”



“Something like that, yeah.”



I thought about it. I was born of two Jedi, trained by them, and have never not believed in the Force. I get rebellious from time to time, and am prone to trying to buck destiny. It was one reason I was never sorry my parents didn’t allow me to become one. I know I’m stubborn and willful, and I like it that way.



Wildcat, stubborn doesn’t even begin to cover it.



Says the Mandalorian I shot back.



That’s how I know.



But…what he said made sense, and if the Force guided us to each other, it had a reason. I had to believe that it wasn’t for our mission to fail. And if it succeeded, what then? Well, it’s like Canderous said: We’d all go on to fulfill our personal destinies.



Then again, maybe Canderous wasn’t going to rebuild his people’s culture. Maybe he’s supposed to build something even better, based on that culture.



That had crossed my mind too.



I went over to kiss him. “Hope is always a good thing to have.”



His eyes were intense as he looked down into my face. “And it always crops up where you least expect it.”