Woman without a Country

"You are back," said Kreia calmly. "Have you found anything?"
"Well, if we haven't attracted the attention of the Exchange yet, then they don't really exist," said Ludmilla in disgust. "I don't know what else we could do."
"Yeah, killing the local boss probably got their attention, General. It's just that you also killed the person who was going to take his place, so they probably have to find someone literate to deliver a message to us."
Ludmilla blushed. "What else was I supposed to do?"
"Also, the General found a Jedi. Or rather, she made one."
"Truly?" said Kreia, feigning surprise. "Where would you have found someone to turn into a Jedi? I don't see your fragile toy anywhere, child. Have you misplaced him?"
Ludmilla glared at the old woman. "That's why you didn't want the lightsaber."
Kreia smiled without answering.
"On that note, I'm going to run away from the secret Jedi talk that you two are having in plain sight of everyone and hide in the garage. Find me if you need me, General."
"Foolish child, it certainly took you long enough to acknowledge his potential. No doubt you were distracted by his kisses."
"Why are you so cruel to him?" Ludmilla demanded.
"Because one doting old Jedi fawning over his every word is quite enough," snapped Kreia. "Am I cruel, child, because I teach the boy restraint? Because I teach him control? I allowed him – no, I encouraged him to turn to you for support. To follow your path. I gave him every chance to see what a true Jedi was capable of, not those paltry paper Knights that littered the galaxy before the war." Kreia smiled. "And he saw. He understood for the first time what a Jedi was capable of. And because he loves you, rather than fearing you or hating you because of what you are, he wanted to join you. Is that cruelty, child?"
"Well, don't I feel stupid," said Ludmilla. "I apologize, Kreia. I see patterns on battlefields, but I don't see people like that. It's a great skill."
Kreia smiled, pleased at the compliment, and the truth in her words. "It is a lesson that you will learn in time, when your sword arm slows." She waved Ludmilla away. "Go find your toy and tell him to stop hiding from me. All the chocolate is gone."
Ludmilla laughed and skipped down to the galley to find Atton.
Kreia smiled to herself, and returned to her quarters, to wait.
"Uh... there's a fresh pot of hot chocolate in the galley," said Atton quietly.
"Ah, thank you," Kreia smiled. "I see you took advantage of my wisdom, and chose not to confess all your sins at once."
"Is there a special hell for people like you? Or do you just burn with the regular people? I think you should get your own layer."
Kreia laughed gently. "I agree with you, boy. I would hate to be trapped with mere murderers when I deserve so much more. So you held her down by the throat, smiled with pleasure as you crushed her brain-tails, caused her unimaginable pain, and you savored every second of it. Fool!" she hissed in sudden fury. "I held the galaxy by the throat, I crushed thousands beneath my heels, bent them to my will, and you cannot imagine how it felt. But if I wished, I could make you feel it, just as she makes you feel the light. Do not tempt me, fool. All I ask of you is that you remain her loyal lapdog. Fear me if you will, but do not anger me."
"What are you?"
"I am a teacher, boy. When a student is ready for my words, they will hear them."
Atton glared at her, and wished that he had the strength to stand against her.
"You do not have the strength, fool. Neither does the seer, who, it will please you to know, has learned there are greater things to fear in the galaxy than the Sith Lord who broke her. The only one who has that strength is not yet ready to see what lies ahead. Go away, boy. I will teach you, and her, and whoever else she gathers to her. I will make you strong in the Force, and give you the wisdom to face down the Sith Lords. Whether you realize what must be done after that is still in question."
"You don't seriously think she would become a Sith Lord?"
"I do not," said Kreia simply. "But she could become something greater. Now go, boy."
Atton almost left, but turned back. "Why do you switch?"
"I beg your pardon?"
"Sometimes, I'm 'boy' and sometimes, I'm 'fool.' Pick one, and stick with it."
Kreia laughed in surprise. "Indeed, I do. I had not noticed. I will call you whatever name seems appropriate to me."
"Do you just not use people's real names?"
"Foolish boy. The Exile and the alien are the only people on this ship using their true names. Ah, and the little machine. Why are you still here, boy?"
"You said you would teach me."
"As I will, boy, if you will learn. Sit." Kreia could feel it, even behind the walls in his mind. The hunger for power, twisted up in his need to protect. She smiled. "The greater lessons will come later. Let us start with something simple," Kreia began. "A rare skill, and if you can use it, one that will be most helpful in our battles." She laughed. "I see that interests you."
Ludmilla finished with the workbench, and started looking for Atton. She heard Kreia talking, her rich voice alternating between chastising and praising. Curious, she went to Kreia's quarters, and found her teaching an impromptu Jedi class, the Miraluka and Atton kneeling quietly on the floor, focusing on the Force.
"Ah, it seems our lesson is over," said Kreia by way of greeting.
"What were they learning?"
"The boy is learning Combat Meditation. In time, he may even master Battle Meditation," said Kreia with a touch of pride. "And he and the seer were practicing affecting the flow of the Force to aid companions in battle. Sadly, I do not know of a Force power to assist him in removing your clothes," said Kreia acidly as Atton blushed.
"Did you actually ask that?" laughed Ludmilla.
"Of course he did," snapped Kreia. "Now, if you will excuse me, an old woman deserves a treat after putting up with two spoiled children for so long." Kreia swept grandly out of the room, and descended to the galley.
Atton snickered. "What a witch."
"That is no way to speak of an elder," said the Miraluka disapprovingly.
"Oh, you're so uptight. Er, did you two ever trade names? Or just try to kill each other?" asked Atton, and Ludmilla laughed again. "Here, let me introduce you. Visas Marr, this is Ludmilla Sîvoš. Naked Jedi Chick, this is Blind Jedi Chick."
Visas flushed bright red, and Ludmilla laughed again, unable to stop herself.
"Atton! Will you behave!" she tried to sound stern, but failed utterly.
"You do not follow the rules of the Order?" asked Visas nervously.
"Only the good ones," grinned Ludmilla, "and there aren't many of those. Here," she held out a lightsaber to each of them. "All that salvage we found in the Exchange base came in really handy."
Atton smiled in delight as he activated his new lightsaber, the dual blades glowing a brilliant yellow. "I like this color!"
"I tried to get it closer to golden, but I ran out of crystals."
Curious, Visas activated her lightsaber. It was also dual-bladed, but Ludmilla had changed the color to a pale rose from the harsh angry red. "It is lighter," said the Miraluka in surprise. "You have corrected the balance."
"I like to fix things," Ludmilla smiled.
Atton celebrated his first lightsaber lesson with a meal fit for a king. Visas nearly choked on the spicy Zabraki soup, and Ludmilla devoured an entire loaf of the sweet Miralukan bread. Bao-Dur settled back in his chair with his third mug of cider, and Kreia settled down with a plate of pastries and even more chocolate. Ludmilla and Visas were sharing some fresh fruit, and Atton was stealing food from various plates, and sharing a mug of cider with Ludmilla.
"So, Visas," said Bao-Dur calmly, "how are you feeling?"
"I am able to serve," she said nervously. "If there is a battle, I will fight and die alongside you."
Bao-Dur laughed into his mug. "That's not what I asked. I wanted to know if you were recovered from your encounter with the General. She hits hard."
"She was trying to kill me, old man! And doing a terrible job of it," she mused. "Why do Sith Lords throw away their apprentices like that?"
"To the Sith, failure is weakness," said Visas softly. "A Master with a weak apprentice is weak. Those who are weak are destroyed."
"That's just stupid," said Atton. "How can anyone learn anything that way? You'd just be afraid to try anything where there is a risk of losing, and what kind of life is that?"
"Speaking of risk, stop stealing my cider!" snapped Ludmilla, and ignored Atton's quiet laughter. "In some ways, the Sith philosophy is just as narrow-minded and short-sighted as the rules of the Order."
"None of which," Bao-Dur interrupted, "answers my question. How are you, Visas?"
The Miralukan smiled at his concern. "My wounds are healed, although I would prefer that Master Ludmilla did not hit me again."
"Oh, there will be none of that," exclaimed Ludmilla. "None of that Master crap, thank you. Just plain Ludmilla will do. Maybe for Kreia."
Kreia made a noise of distaste. "I am too old for such nonsense."
"Of course," said Visas uncertainly. "My apologies."
"And I didn't mean to hit you so hard, but I was in a rush."
"I know," said Visas, "I felt the mercy in your actions. I was taught that such feelings were a weakness, but for you, they are a strength. I did not know such things were possible."
"That's the General for you," grinned Bao-Dur, "doing one hundred impossible things before breaking her fast."
Visas looked curiously at Bao-Dur. "You call her, 'General.' Why is that?"
"Because he likes living in the past," Ludmilla joked.
"Because she is a Jedi General, served in the Mandalorian Wars. Didn't your old Master mention that?"
Visas shook her head slowly. "He did not send me to a name, but a presence that we felt in the Force. A disturbance, an echo, like no other. It was not like an echo that comes from a living person, and he could not understand how it eluded him for so long. He found it… significant."
Ludmilla rolled her eyes. "Typical Sith reaction. Sense the unknown, and kill it. No wonder the Sith always lose."
"Where is your old Master now?" asked Atton. "Do you know?" He refilled Ludmilla's mug before she could complain that he had drained it again.
Visas shook her head. "I do not. His vessel travels the borders of known space. He seeks… something. A path, I think. I do not know where to find him until he calls me."
Kreia smiled. "And now, his calls will go unanswered. Unless you wish to connect yourself to him again."
"I do not!" said Visas in sudden terror. "Are you certain, quite certain, Elder Kreia? He will not be able to find me again?"
Kreia smiled very slowly. "I assure you, little seer, he will only try it once." Kreia chuckled to herself. "And it will fail."
"Part of me is terrified by anything that makes you happy," said Atton, "but the other part of me wants to see his face whenever your trap goes off."
Kreia laughed.
"Elder Kreia addresses her as 'Exile,'" said Visas humbly, as if she feared being rebuked for asking the question. "But if she fought in the wars, why would she have been exiled? The Mandalorian wars were a victory for the Republic, were they not?"
There was a moment of silence as everyone tried to find the best way to answer the question.
"Because the Jedi are stupid," said Atton. "And the Republic Senate requires that you hand over your spine before you can take a seat."
"It's more complicated than that," protested Ludmilla.
"No it isn't," said Bao-Dur gently. "They blamed you for fighting, and wouldn't admit that they were wrong. Look at what they did to Master Arren. They exiled her for falling in love, despite the fact that she trained the greatest Jedi the galaxy has ever seen."
"Who's Master Arren?" Atton asked.
"Arren Kae. A beautiful woman, one of Revan's Masters. Revan's first Master, I believe." Ludmilla took another sip of her cider. "Technically, she was exiled for hiding the fact that she had a child and was raising it in secret, not just for falling in love with a married man." Ludmilla smiled. "It wasn't really a secret, either. We all knew and didn't care. We were more concerned with war than love at the time. It only came out because his wife found out about it, and declared her husband an Oathbreaker."
"Echani?" said Atton.
"General Yusanis, actually," said Ludmilla. "You probably know the name."
"Senator Yusanis? He wasn't an Oathbreaker. Was he?" asked Atton in confusion. "You'd think someone in the Senate would have noticed that. You know, before he died."
"He challenged it, and won, the lying bastard. Revan was so angry. We both challenged him, but the Echani courts refused to allow us. Revan was devastated. Master Arren was exiled, and we never heard from her again. Revan always planned to go find her, but never had a chance."
Kreia looked at her curiously. "You challenged Yusanis? Really?"
Ludmilla blushed. "Well, yes. So I was young and impulsive. He deserved a beating."
Kreia smiled. "No doubt. Still, no matter what the world thought of him, his wife and children would have known him for what he was. A small consolation."
"How many Masters did Revan have, anyway?" asked Atton. "It seems like every Jedi Master in the galaxy trained her at some point or another."
"Revan had an insatiable thirst for learning," laughed Ludmilla. "You're almost right, she stopped every Master she met and tried to learn something from them. And she read all the time. She was the reason the Order wanted to limit the number of Padawans that one Master could have at a time. I have no idea how many she really had, but her only formal Masters were Kae, Lestin, and Vandar. I think that's right."
"How about you?" Atton asked.
"I learned from a few different Masters, mostly to gather new lightsaber forms. My only formal Master spent most of her time yelling at me. She's the one who taught that anyone can be redeemed." She smiled gently at a memory. "Vima Sunrider, the student who redeemed her Master."
"Who was her Master?" asked Visas, who had been hanging eagerly on all their stories.
"Ulic Qel-Droma."
"The Sith Lord?" said Visas in shock.
Ludmilla nodded. "Well, this was after all of that. He was a broken Sith, at the time. I bet the Sith don't tell that story, do they?"
"How could someone trained by a former Sith Lord join the Jedi Order?" asked Visas in disbelief.
"Oh, I guess she taught me disrespect for the rules of the Order, too," chuckled Ludmilla. "They couldn't find a way to say no, I guess."
"The chocolate is gone again," said Kreia mournfully. "I suppose that means it is time to rest."
"Is the chocolate a Jedi thing? Or just a woman thing? It can't be, I mean Visas didn't go crazy over the chocolate."
Visas blushed.
"Where do you think the first pot of chocolate went, boy?" Kreia rose gracefully. "I am going to rest. Be sure to practice the lessons you have learned today."
"It's just like being in school all over again, except no one has tried to stuff me in a footlocker."
Ludmilla grinned, and began clearing the table. Visas sprang to her feet to help, as did Bao-Dur.
"I'll go check the security systems and make sure T3 hasn't run off." Atton ran up the stairs and disappeared.
"You can go, General. We've got this."
Ludmilla smiled. "You sure, old man?"
Bao-Dur nodded, and Ludmilla ran up the stairs in chase of Atton. She checked the security room, but didn't see him there, and headed to the bridge.
Atton pounced on her from behind, kissing her ear and laughing as she shrieked in surprise.
"Where were you?"
"I was hiding," he grinned, and kissed her properly.
She smiled joyously at him, and kissed him back, until he was panting and breathless. "So, are you all done in the security room?"
Atton smiled at her, and led her back to the cargo hold. Ludmilla looked around in surprise. Her little nest had been extended, and more pillows added.
She smiled at him. "Is it more comfortable now?"
"Let's find out."
Ludmilla kissed him again, sat down on the bed, still kissing him. He had added another layer of padding as well, she noted, and laughed a little. Atton laughed back between kisses, and they lay down together. He opened her shirt so that he could kiss her breasts, and Ludmilla ran her hands through his hair, moaning in pleasure. He worked his way down her body, swirling his tongue in her navel before he slid her pants away. She gasped, then shrieked in pleasure as his tongue worked over her, opening her, tasting every inch of her. While his tongue was pleasuring her, his hands were pulling away her clothes so that he could run his hands over her bare skin.
Atton pulled away from her, and stripped off his clothes. Ludmilla drew him down to her, and licked his face clean. He started in surprise at first, then smiled at her, kissing her again. She pulled him closer, and wrapped her legs around him, letting him slide inside her wetness. Atton put his arms under her, digging his hands into the sheets while he began thrusting into her.
Already aroused from his earlier attentions, Ludmilla came to the brink of orgasm quickly with Atton inside her, screaming in passion as he stroked her in her most sensitive spots. Her muscles clutched at Atton, and he cried out as well, and she brought him over the edge, following her into a shuddering rush of ecstasy and release. Atton whimpered softly and laid his head on her breasts.
Ludmilla sighed happily, and put her arms around Atton, holding him closely while he fell asleep.
Atton was having the nightmare. It began as it always did, with him in his mother's arms, his face hidden against her, sobbing uncontrollably while his parents yelled at each other. He was young, very young, and at six, was still small enough for her to pick him up in her arms.
"Just stay away from him!" she screamed. "You're not taking him away. He's all I ever wanted from you. Just leave us alone!"
"You want that monster in your house? Are you crazy?"
"It's not like he got it from me," she snapped. "If you would stop upsetting him, this wouldn't happen!"
In the real world, the fight ended here, his father stormed off in a rage while servants cleaned up the mess. But in the nightmare, instead of picking up the body of Atton's tutor, the servants pulled him away from his mother, over the sound of her screams. His father held her back, and dragged her into another room while the servants carried him downstairs, past a crowd of angry people who shouted and threw filth at him as they passed. They struck him when he struggled, and carried him down to the seashore. There, on the ancient docks, a tiny boat waited. They threw him in, and he fell to the floor, dazed. The lines were cut, and the boat drifted away.
He lay at the bottom, listening to their shouts of hatred, and shaking with fear. The bottom was slowly filling with water. He finally sat up, and looked around. He was alone, on the vast expanse of water. No one would ever find him, and the boat would slowly, inexorably fill with water until he sank, screaming, into the sea. Atton sat down, pulled his knees up to his chest. He didn't know what to do, he never did. All he could do was feel, and a thousand emotions, more wild than any sea storm, ripped through him. He was alone. He was going to die out here, they had sent him out to die all alone. He was terrified, and fought to keep himself from screaming in terror, because he knew once he started he wouldn't be able to stop.
Something bumped against the boat, and Atton looked up in surprise. That wasn't part of the nightmare.
"Hello," said a cheery voice. It was a young girl, older than him, standing on a sturdy raft with a sail that looked like a dress. She was in a bathing suit, or possibly just her underwear. He wasn't sure. She had a wide, friendly smile, her eyes were slightly slanted and green like the forest. Her hair was dark yellow, wet and fell in salty locks around her face. "Your boat has a hole in it."
Atton just stared at her.
"Come on," she held out her hand to him. "It's not worth fixing it."
He nervously reached out to her. Her hand was warm and strong, and she easily lifted him out of the rickety little boat. She set him down on a coil of rope, and pushed the little raft away from the slowly sinking ship. The wind picked up, blowing his hair around his face and billowing out the dress-sail.
"And we're off!" she said with a smile. "This is a lot nicer, isn't it?"
Atton nodded. Alone, the sun had been oppressive; the water, menacing; the sky, baleful and dark. Now, with a companion, the sun was balmy. The water was crystal clear and colorful fish came up to the raft, swimming in curious circles. The sky was bright blue and filled with fluffy clouds. And her smile made him safer than he ever had in his life.
"Here we are," she said as the raft came up to a small tropical island. Atton stood up so that she could tie the raft to a stump. She jumped into the water. "Oh," she said suddenly. "You'll get your shoes wet."
Atton pulled off his shoes and tossed them into the sea, then followed her into the water with a smile.
She laughed happily, and held his hand as they walked. The sand was warm around his toes, and the air smelled like flowers.
Atton looked around, and saw a tree that made him stop and stare. "That tree has candy on it."
"What?" she said excitedly. "Where?"
He looked up at her. "I know you! You're Ludmilla. What are you doing in my dreams?"
"Your dreams?" she grinned. "You dream about palm trees with sugar sticks on them, too? I thought that was just me."
"This was my nightmare," he explained.
"Well, it's not now, is it? So what are you doing in my dreams?" she asked him with a little smile.
Atton looked around in confusion, and Ludmilla laughed. "It's just a dream, don't be so serious. Come, let's climb that tree and get some candy!"
She led him to the tree, and helped him up so they could walk along the broad branches, and help themselves to handfuls of sugar sticks before jumping back down into the soft sand. They landed in giggles, and Atton pointed out a burbling fountain. The water was deliciously cool, and they sat down on a fallen log. Atton rested his head on her shoulder, and she put her arm around him.
"Did you see the first part of my dream?" he asked.
"No," she answered calmly. "I didn't see you until you called for help."
"I didn't - " he stopped himself, and snuggled closer to her, ashamed to admit his weakness, and she kissed his cheek.
"You're silly. And you're not alone, not now." She kissed him again, on the lips this time, the way children do to each other. "You're not alone anymore, Atton."
Atton woke up, because she really was kissing him. He stirred in her arms, and the kiss changed from gentle and loving to fiery and passionate. With a little laugh, she moved herself over him, sliding her body over him and feeling him stir to full hardness beneath her. She was hot and welcoming, and Atton thrust easily into her. Ludmilla kissed him hungrily, savoring every sensation that the touch of his body against hers caused. He gasped sweetly, unable to resist the warmth and strength of her body.
"I love the noises you make," she whispered, and he could feel her muscles tightening around him in response. "They make me crazy."
He laughed slightly, but couldn't speak. He made another soft noise as Ludmilla continued to ride him, and he could feel every ripple of her interior muscles. Atton closed his eyes, trying not to come too soon, but it was no use. He arched up, thrusting wildly into her, with soft, desperate cries of passion.
Ludmilla sighed with pleasure, and lay down next to him, keeping him inside her for as long as she could until they fell asleep again, dreamless this time, but still tangled together.