The Renegade Adored

Kaidan: "Of aid from them--She was the Universe." (Byron)

Hayden sat quietly in her room, unable to cry. Unsure of what to do.
Kaidan. Did he hate her? Did he still love her? She couldn’t tell. All she knew was that he still existed, he still cared a little, and she wasn’t allowed to touch him or be with him. Was that really enough? It would have to be, wouldn’t it?
She slumped in her chair, her hands folded neatly in her lap, her head down and her hair falling to cover her face.
The door beeped, interrupting her and rousing her from her stillness. "Who is it?" she asked.
"It’s me," said Garrus.
Hayden couldn’t hold back a smile. "Come in."
Garrus walked in. "Are you all right?"
She shook her head. "No, but I’m okay, I guess. That actually went a lot better than I thought it would."
"Do you want to talk about it?"
"No," she whispered. "I don’t want to think about it at all." She shuddered, trying to hold back a scream. "I can’t even blame him, can I?" She looked up at Garrus, her eyes wild and lost. "Why am I even here, Garrus? What am I doing here?"
"You’re doing what you do best," said Garrus, a strange gentleness in his voice.
Hayden smiled at him, calmed by his faith in her. "I don’t know what to do with myself now. Got any ideas?"
Garrus grinned at her. "Come on, let’s go to Omega and shoot some bad guys. It’ll be fun."
She considered. "Why not?" She got her armor and followed him down to the shuttle bay.
They ended up in an alley of Omega, sitting on a wall over the remains of a nest of Vorcha. Hayden was idly levitating bottles and scraps, and Garrus was effortlessly shooting them out of the air. They were back to back, sitting comfortably as only two people who trust each other can.
"He was really torn up when he lost you," said Garrus suddenly. "He blamed himself for letting you go back."
Hayden didn’t answer.
"I still don’t think he’s over it," Garrus observed.
"It doesn’t really matter," said Hayden sadly. "He’s Alliance, he can’t come with us without giving up everything he’s ever lived for. It would destroy him." She threw another bottle with her biotics, and Garrus sniped it, shattering it before it could hit the wall.
"You were Alliance too."
"I don’t have a choice."
"You could leave if you really wanted to. I’d help you, you know that."
She smiled. "You’re a good friend, Garrus. I don’t really want to leave, though. I like the freedom here, and all the nice toys. So long as they don’t expect me to start marching in pro-Human rallies, I’m okay with working for Cerberus."
Garrus snorted. "Like those stupid old vids, with that moustache guy?"
"Yeah, if they start that crap, I’m flying the Normandy 2 right into a sun."
Garrus chuckled. "Right behind you, Shepard."
She tossed another bottle, and watched him do a blindingly fast snap shot that ripped the bottle in half before the stress caused it to shatter. "Garrus?"
"Yes?"
"I’m really glad you’re here with me. It makes the old times… not so far away."
Garrus didn’t say anything for a moment. She couldn’t see his face in the darkness, not the way they were sitting. "Heatsink is drained," he muttered suddenly, and popped the heatsink.
"Oh, you and your guns. Come on, let’s get back to the ship." She stood on the wall, and held out a hand to Garrus to help him up.
It only seemed ridiculous from the outside, the sight of a small Human female holding out her hand to a Turian half again as tall as she was. He put his hand in hers carefully, let her pull him up to his feet. Garrus followed Hayden as they walked back together, and somehow forgot to take his hand away.