Philanthropy

So, this is the end. I had made some more text, but I realized I wouldn't be able to end it if I continued. That's why it has some sort of an open ending. Well, I guess the real storyline offers enough to everyone's imagination to see where it will go.
Otacon *busy with reading stuff about modern history of Japan*: So why wait so long to post the last chapter?
Well... wanna hear a secret?
Otacon: YOU FORGOT IT, DIDN'T YOU?
You're so quick! ^^

***

Fourteen

Mei Ling says:
Otacon
Otacon says:
Mei Ling ^_^ What’s up?
Mei Ling says:
New data recovered.
Otacon says:
Tell me…
Mei Ling says:
Seems that new genetically modified soldiers have been developed in a military base in Central Asia and Japan. The governments are collaborating with the US to create a new kind of army. They hardly are soldiers anymore, but a mix of A.I. technology and their highly changed gene pattern. They were the ones that attacked you that night. These weren’t tests anymore. Tests have already been run. I have the reports right here. I’ll send them.
Mei Ling sends: ‘reports_AI_soldiers_Japan-China.doc’
Otacon says:
Okay
Otacon says:
But they were acting weird. Snake said they made stupid actions all the time.
Mei Ling says:
They don’t really have minds of their own. They’re being controlled from a place far away from the actual action.
Otacon says:
Then who was controlling them?
Mei Ling says:
No idea
Otacon says:
Do you know who’s behind this?
Mei Ling says:
Nope. I don’t have names for you
Otacon says:
A place, then?
Mei Ling says:
Yup… The governmentally sponsored A.I. centre in Tokyo, and the ‘Robo testing facility’ in a village in eastern China.
Otacon says:
These are just like Snake’s reports o_O
Mei Ling says:
I know. I don’t think they ever stopped these projects
Otacon says:
That’s terrible. What are they planning to do with them?
Mei Ling says:
Take out opponents, I guess. And with opponents I mean, the likes of us
Otacon says:
And after that?
Mei Ling says:
The usual ‘war and power’ scenario
Otacon says:
*sigh*
Otacon says:
Don’t people ever change?
Mei Ling says:
Guess not
Mei Ling says:
g2g
Mei Ling says:
Tell Snake, we’ll talk again later
Mei Ling says:
You’re going to Japan
Otacon says:
^_^
Otacon says:
I’ll tell him, bye
Mei Ling has signed out.

This instant messaging programme we’d made together was the shit, really. No one else could’ve been able to read this. It was almost hack-proof.

I told Snake what Mei Ling had told me. And as soon as I said it, it meant the end of our time in the cabin. No more lying low. It was back to action.

‘So, we’re off to Japan.’
‘Yeah.’
‘Don’t act all mature. I know you love this.’
‘Well, actually…’
‘You’ve been dying to tell me what ‘we’re going to Japan’ is in Japanese. Go on, say it.’
‘No, you say it! I’m sure you must’ve picked up some!’
‘Nihon e ikimasu. Well, was that correct?’
‘Um, yes.’
He took me in his arms. ‘No matter what it’ll be like, you know I’ll protect you, right?’
‘I’ll protect you, too.’
‘Teamwork.’
‘I thought it was called ‘love’.’
‘Hm. That too.’

We stood like that for a few minutes. Motionless.
‘So, when will we be picked up?’
‘She’ll let me know soon.’
‘And what about China?’
‘I guess we’ll be going there someday soon, too.’
‘Those bastards.’
‘How’s your arm?’
‘Better.’
‘How do you feel?’
‘Fine.’
‘Don’t lie.’

He sighed. ‘My arm is killing me and I feel sick,’ his eyes were telling me. ‘But I’m going to go there anyway.’
‘You shouldn’t go if you don’t feel well,’ I said, out loud.
‘I’m going.’
‘Alright. But let me take a look at your shoulder.’
‘What are you, a doctor?’
‘No, but I do have a lab coat,’ I smiled.

Outside, standing in the fallen leaves, I inspected his body, because it was lighter there. When I removed his bandages, the wound started to bleed a little. But that wasn’t a problem. The problem was that it was still there and didn’t look that clean.

I remembered his extremely detailed reports. His training and how he’d performed every single action. The sketches of his body. I had read every word, devoured all the information about the one I had come to love. So strange to read between the lines and discover how his makers thought of him and his purposes.

‘The subject has been created for infiltrating missions in highly guarded facilities. He has had excessive survival training and is supposed to withstand any condition of weather, climate, and surroundings. He has the quickest speed of response ever to appear, much quicker than previous experiments.
The subject has been trained to rule out all emotions, not just those regarding the tasks he has. He possesses a higher intelligence than the average person, but will not criticize his superiors. Therefore he will never fail to be reliable to your cause.’

The subject was hurt, but still had his striking appearance that made you fall in love with him the moment you saw him. So I guessed he wasn’t infected with anything. I put new bandages on his shoulder and released him with a kiss.

The next morning, we were picked up by Mei Ling in a jeep. We drove through the seemingly endless woods, where every hole in the road made us fly, until we finally reached plain lands, and normal roads. We were heading for the shore, where a plane would be ready for us. I chattered with Mei Ling about our instant messaging programme and how to improve it, about anime and how she hadn’t watched many lately, about Japan and China and what it really was like there. Dave was quiet as always. Not alarmingly quiet like last time. Mei Ling felt it, too, I think. The atmosphere was a lot better now that we weren’t being chased.

‘But if Snake was created not to love…’
She was leaning to a wall on the small airport next to the beach. The sea breeze went through her hair.
‘How come you two are together like this?’
‘There’s more to him than the reports say. I mean, he hasn’t really kept to that other rule telling him not to criticize his superiors…’
Mei Ling’s eyes moved to a place behind me. I turned around and saw Dave standing a few metres away, smoking a cigarette.
‘At one point I just started to play along.’
We just watched him, surprised.
‘I knew their game by then. They should’ve made me dumber.’ He chuckled. ‘So I knew what they wanted from me, and decided that I needed to pretend to be whatever they wanted, in order to get out as soon as possible.’
The smoke was blown away by the wind. He looked at me. ‘I’ve never been unable to love. Do you think I’d let them go that far? I just never wanted to because it would be inconvenient. And you’re no exception.’
He looked at Mei Ling and smiled. ‘He’s just…very consistent.’
‘Yeah right!’ she laughed. ‘It’s not all his fault!’
Dave’s eyes lit up as he laid them on me. ‘No, it’s not.’

‘Isn’t it weird?’ I asked quietly, hundred metres or so further, on the beach.
‘What?’
‘Being what you are?’
He took a few pulls off his cigarette before he answered.
‘I don’t know. It’s not like I can compare with anything.’

Somehow, the super soldier looked vulnerable; standing in the sand, wearing a shirt that couldn’t conceal his muscles, giving me a look that couldn’t conceal his doubts. I remembered the taste of his tears and felt my heart ache, pitying him beyond understanding. And for the very first time, I wasn’t sure about this mission; wasn’t sure about him. Why did he have to do this? Why did we have to clean up the mess everyone seemed to leave for us? Were we the only good people left?

He walked towards me, and murmured: ‘Use your frustration for the mission. I think I’m gonna need it.’
‘Dave,’ I whispered and threw my arms around his neck. He let his hands go through my hair, over and over.
‘Stay alert, will you?’
‘Always.’
‘I just hope I’ve made it clear enough how much I love you.’

‘What are you talking…’
He had let me go and was walking towards the jeep. A feeling of panic started to spread inside of me. I ran after him, but found out I couldn’t speak about it. The fear of losing him was immense when I grabbed his hand and couldn’t get him to look at me. It was as if I’d already lost him.

We got on the airplane. Mei Ling went her own way, and said she’d meet us in Tokyo. We exchanged worried glances during the goodbye.
Dave slept during the flight. Or he was just pretending to be asleep. I tried to fall asleep for hours, because there was nothing better to do. But I couldn’t. I didn’t want to close my eyes and lose sight of him. But I must’ve fallen asleep somehow, because I woke up and found him looking at me.

‘Hal.’
I didn’t say anything. He reached out his hand and, still half in a dream, I offered him mine automatically.
‘Till death do us part.’

BLAM! I was awake now.
‘What are you saying?!’
He just smiled.

***

And that’s what brought us here. That’s why I beg him not to go, no matter how important the cause. He tells me without words that he’s not sure he’ll ever come back. He tells me he fears to never see me again, to lose his life. And I read the fear in his eyes like a book for the poor-sighted. It’s all too clear.

We stand on the balcony, both with a glass of whisky in our hand. The ice cubes tingle. Tokyo is bright at night, in every colour imaginable. I always thought I’d be happy over the top if I would ever get here. It’s like a long cherished dream of mine is ruined. We won’t be going to the malls or the arcades together, let alone Akihabara. It sucks, being with a hero. It’s not like a movie.

He notices my shoulders hanging down and puts an arm around my waist, pulls me closer. I shiver, realizing how cold I am.

What can I say? What difference will it make?

***