At the Edge of Heaven

He smiled to himself. He knew she would be there, tinkering away the hours in the darkened bay. Everyone else was either asleep or at their stations. But not Ashley. Before every mission she would check and re-check each weapon, diligently ensuring they would function in the midst of any fire-fights that might erupt. She was committed. She was determined. She was damn good at her job. He loved her for it.

Shepard couldn’t help himself. With a wry smile curling his lips, he slinked out of the elevator and snuck around the beams in the centre of the room until he was directly behind her. Quietly, he leaned out to glance at her and a small sigh escaped his lips. The dim light shone over her, soft shadows falling down her body. Her hair was tightly wrapped in a small bun, as always, over the tempting curve of her neck as she tilted her head over her work. The gleaming of her skin under the soft light teased him, begging for the brush of his willing lips. Her shoulders rolled slightly as her hands glided over one of the weapons and his eyes slowly dropped down her long back to the gentle swaying of her hips as she shifted her weight from leg to leg. Then, he watched her ass barely wiggle with her movements for long, long moments until his eyes finally roamed down her toned legs and finished their long journey. She was absolutely gorgeous. And he wanted her… he needed her.

He inhaled a sharp breath and licked his lips nervously. He slid from behind the last beam and quickly drew close to her. With trembling fingers, he brushed his hands across her thighs, his fingers curling around her leg lovingly. He grinned as her body stiffened briefly before relaxing in his grip. Slowly, he caressed around her thighs before bringing his hands around her and gliding up and over her tight ass. She gasped and flinched slightly, but didn’t pull away from him. Not wanting to press it too quickly, Shepard drew his hands up to her back and then around her sides before wrapping his arms around her waist. With his palms resting on her stomach, he hugged her body to his, resting his chin on her shoulder.

“I was wondering when you’d get your butt over here, skipper.” Ashley leaned her head against his, smiling at the warm embrace as her hands gently covered his over her stomach. “I thought you might have decided to just stand there and stare all night.”

Shepard could only bury his face into her neck and laugh. Ashley’s fingers caressed small circles over the back of his hands as she gasped at his ticklish laughter and tightening embrace. She calmly waited until his laughter faded to a light chuckle and he pulled his face away from her neck.

“What gave me away?” He tilted his head and whispered.

“Mmmm. I don’t know…” Ashley chuckled herself, “It might have been that sharp hiss after you stared for a few minutes. Or maybe it was the long sigh after you snuck all the way from the elevator.”

“And I thought I was being all sneaky.” He hugged her a bit more tightly and laughed again. This time Ashley laughed with him. Slowly, Shepard starting rubbing small circles over her stomach and their laughter faded into shallow, quivering breaths. Ashley kept her hands over his as he gently caressed her stomach, cautiously circling ever lower with each stroke. Soon, his fingers brushed the waistband of her pants. Shepard swallowed anxiously then exhaled. He flattened his palm against her stomach then pushed against the fabric. With a sigh, his fingers slid beneath her pants and over her skin.

Ashley stiffened at first, her breath catching at the sudden presence of his fingers. But she bit her bottom lip and moaned softly. She relaxed as Shepard patiently caressed her, his fingers teasing along the top of her trimmed bush. He was waiting for her. Ashley smiled and let go of that hand to slide her own hand slowly up her stomach and over one heaving breast. Her hand slowed slightly as she pressed her palm against her breast as her hand slid over her. With a low moan, her hand finally slid off her body and over Shepard’s cheek.

Shepard smiled and his finger slid lower, twirling in the small curls of her bush. Ashley pushed her hips forward, pressing her mound against his exploring finger. Shepard chuckled. He let that finger rub small circles over her. His other hand finally stopped its own circular teasing and quickly slid over her stomach. Ashley moaned again as Shepard’s fingers brushed the underside of her breasts before his hand gently cupped her. Ashley’s body started to tremble. As he gently caressed one breast, his fingers curiously brushing over a taut nipple straining against a tight shirt, Shepard finally pushed his other hand completely into her pants.

Ashley gasped as his fingers curled over her and finally brushed against her pussy. She bucked in his grasp. Shepard wasted no time and quickly let his fingers part her quivering lips and press inside her. He was lost in curious bliss and his finger slid in, out, and around her now wet pussy. Ashley’s knees buckled at the quick penetration and the surprising ferocity of his touch. Her free hand quickly slammed down on the table to regain her balance. It didn’t work. Her legs gave way and Shepard chuckled as he pressed his arms as tightly as possible to her, his hands curling and holding her up. She gasped as her wait settled into his hands, his fingers pressing even deeper into her as guided her to her knees.

“Shepard.” She whispered as his fingers retreated slightly before pushing back into her. Her hips bucked at his eager touch. Ashley pulled his head to hers, her hand caressing his cheek and head. Her other hand dropped down her body, briefly covering his and pressing it firmly against her breast before sliding lower until her hand was over his between her legs, her fingers guiding his through the slightly damp fabric. For long moments, all that could be heard were heavy breaths and soft moans as Ashley held Shepard’s hand to her body, guiding his fingers as they plunged into her. Finally, Ashley began to tremble and a light grunt escaped her lips. “Shepard!”

Her body spasmed as she growled his name and an orgasm lit her body alight. Shepard didn’t slow at first, but instead continued to slide his fingers into her now clenching pussy as he pressed himself against her ass. Ashley groaned as she felt his hardness press into her through their clothes. She continued to tremble at his touch until her hand finally slid up and her fingers wrapped around his wrist. With a sigh she pulled and his fingers slipped from her sensitive pussy. She couldn’t take anymore. With a quick twist she turned to face Shepard, his eyes darkened with desire and a smile twisting his lips. She smiled back and slowly started to lean in. Their arms wrapped around each other and their lips grew closer until Shepard could feel her hot breath on his lips. He wanted to taste her. He leaned in closer…

“Shit!” a loud clang echoed through the bay and the two lovers tore apart. Ashley shot to her feet and quickly went to work straightening her clothes. Shepard only groaned in frustration and pushed himself to his feet. He glanced over at the now opening elevator to see a crewman picking up whatever he dropped. He sighed then looked over to Ashley.

She shrugged and gave him a sheepish smile, mouthing an apology. Shepard warmly smiled back and raised his hand to cup her cheek. He could wait. She was worth it. He slowly drew his hand away, but Ashley quickly grabbed that hand and growled a whisper at him.

“I promise.” With a seductive pout she kissed his palm lightly before smirking. Shepard groaned as she took his glistening fingers into her mouth and licked her own juices from his fingers. It was her promise to him. They would be together. These little interruptions would not keep them apart. He smiled…

* * *

He wearily opened his eyes. The light blue reflections from the fish tank rippled on the darkened ceiling. He only stared at the dancing ripples, the hot tears streaming down the sides of his face. Every time he closed his eyes, he saw her. He remembered. It hurt. It hurt so much. It was a broken promise now. They were apart. He closed his eyes tightly against the tears.

He hadn’t left his room in days. Her promise tormented him. All he did was lay there in his darkened quarters, either dreaming of Ashley or cursing himself. He still wanted her. He still loved her. But she was dead. He had chosen duty over her. He had broken that promise. Not her. He tore their love apart. He couldn’t live with it anymore. Or so he thought.

He was confused. He remembered the bleak determination, the small nagging hope as he leapt over the couch. He had wanted that ship to gun him down. But she hadn’t let that happen. With a fierce determination of her own, that Cerberus agent had stood directly in the line of fire. He still could feel the clenching knot in his stomach as several rounds bounced off her shield and the admiration as she had shrugged them off to fling a biotic warp blast into the ship. She had bought him the time to reload and then stand to fire that grenade directly into the hovering ship. She had saved his ass. Again.

He remembered the scowl as she hunched over once the ship exploded in flames. Her piercing eyes made his heart lurch. He had stared at her for a few moments, all the pain and torment now mixing with a new confusion. She knew what he had almost done. She knew and that bothered him.

He cursed and sighed, tears still streaming from his eyes. It was all so confusing. He had lost so much and he had simply wanted to die. He had run out of reasons to live…

But he had lived. And this time he was relieved. He didn’t fully understand why. He remembered that brief clenching worry and the shame he felt at her scowl. Why, why did he care? She wasn’t Ashley. She wasn’t anything to him. So why the hell did he care?! Ashley was gone and he wanted to die. It was simple… it was supposed to be simple.

He closed his eyes and sighed.

* * *

“I promise.” With a seductive pout she kissed his palm lightly before smirking. Shepard groaned as she took his glistening fingers into her mouth and licked her own juices from his fingers. It was her promise to him. They would be together. These little interruptions would not keep them apart. He smiled and reluctantly turned away from her smouldering eyes, resisting the urge to seal her smiling lips with a ferocious kiss. They had time.

So he walked away from her, smiling to himself. Nothing was going to keep them apart. He knew it. Fate was finally on his side. He turned back one last time before the elevator. Ashley was gazing back, smiling before mouthing the words one last time.

“I promise.”

* * *

The comm buzzed and he opened his eyes. With a sigh he rolled out of bed and pushed himself to his feet. Tears still burned his eyes and Shepard tried his best to wipe them away. It didn’t help much. The comm buzzed again. He growled at the intrusion and quickly swept his pants off the back of his chair and slid them on. With a frustrated sigh he quickly walked over to the door and released the lock.

“Wha…” he started to ask tersely as the door slid open, but his mouth hung open as that new confusion exploded within him.

“Shepard,” Miranda’s piercing eyes looked directly into his and his chest tightened strangely at those eyes filled with knowing anger “we need to talk.”

He stared back for a few seconds before nodding wordlessly. He stood aside to let her in. He burned in shame once more at her continued glare before she entered his quarters. She knew and it bothered him. He still didn’t know why. He had lost everything and he had wanted to die. He thought it was that simple.

The door hissed shut and he turned to look at Miranda. She stood with her back to him for a few moments before she spun around to face him. She grimaced slightly and her hands flinched towards her ribs before she caught herself. Surprisingly, Shepard’s chest tightened at the sight. He didn’t know what anything was supposed to be anymore.