Cross Blades

Cross Blades

Chapter the Twelfth: Beginning’s End

Usze ‘Taham sighed regretfully.

He was once again blinking the sleep out of his eyes while lying curled up with N’tho ‘Sraom. The SpecOps Sangheili was still deeply asleep, breathing softly, his mandibles wearing a smile of pure contentment. It was wonderfully warm next to him; Usze loved feeling his partner’s velvet hide caressing his own skin, and he could quite happily lie here all day…

…or, more honestly, lie here until Nitro woke up and started to touch him, and the next thing they know, they’d spend the entire day mating and feeding one another bits of meat and whispering conversations while holding one another and then mating all over again.

That was what had happened yesterday, and Usze wanted to do it again. But he had surely indulged himself more than enough.

Sooner or later the humans were going to get concerned that the Sangheili weren’t coming out of their room. They might stop delivering the bowls of delicious food, too. Most importantly, Usze had to contact the Fleet, get new orders, and start doing his job. The Arbiter was meeting with Lord Hood today, and he needed at least one of his honour guards there. Uzi couldn’t just spend the rest of his life nuzzled up to N’tho ‘Sraom.

Regretfully, ‘Taham climbed out of the bed.

Behind him, N’tho stirred, whimpering. Usze took his warm pillow and tucked it against Nitro. The SpecOps warrior nuzzled into it, breathing in its scent. It clearly smelled like Usze, because Nitro’s grin widened and he started to purr.

There was a time when Uzi would have kicked Nitro out of bed, none too gently, and told him to get ready to work. Now, though, Usze decided to leave N’tho sleeping. The SpecOps warrior needed to recover from his eye injury, and he needed more rest; Usze suspected N’tho had endured some hard living in his life, and he deserved some time to recuperate.

Usze had to force himself into the tub for a quick wash. He put on his bodysuit, which, though he and Nitro had managed to wash their clothing in between bouts of sex, was tattered and generally unserviceable. He would have to ask Fil Storamee to send him a new one in the next Sangheili ship arriving on Earth.

That might be a while—particularly considering Fil’s argumentative temper—so Usze slipped into the suit he had and armoured up. His armour was also scratched and dented and damaged, but he ought to be able to do most of those repairs himself. Finally he picked up the helmet, though he hesitated before he put it on.

Usze picked up Nitro’s comm unit and entered a quick message.

Gone to Work

Then he hesitated.

Thanks for the good time? No, he couldn’t put that. The idiots who’d used Nitro for entertainment would write a thing like that.

See you tonight? That wasn’t appropriate either. Usze knew what he had to do today—get Nitro his own room, and see about Nitro’s transportation back to SpecOps. It was time to start letting go, because sooner or later Rtas ‘Vadum would want his warrior back.

He’d had…it was longer than a one-night stand. It was a post-battle coupling. Now it was over. Normal life was about to resume.

Uzi had no words for how Nitro had made him feel. He tried anyway.

Nitro

Gone to Work

Take Care, my Dear Hero.

Uzi

*

N’tho woke up, blinking sleepily, churning his mandibles—then realized with a start that Usze was gone. He was snuggled up with Uzi’s pillow, not Uzi himself.

His datapad was lying where Usze’s pillow had been.

N’tho felt his mandibles quiver as he picked up the pad and read the message. It was heartwarming to have a lover who had some courtesy and some class…. Nevertheless, N’tho read a goodbye in between the lines.

Biting back his sobs—because he knew these things didn’t last—N’tho got up and began dressing himself. He would not think about how empty it would feel to go back to SpecOps. He would savour the warm feeling of a tender partner as long as he could.

N’tho ‘Sraom let that feeling carry him through the day as the doctors removed the patch on his eye. His vision would likely be unaffected, for which he was grateful. He traded in his tattered bodysuit for the only thing the quartermaster could find that would fit a Sangheili of his size: a pair of cammo printed combat pants, cut off at N’tho’s knees to allow for his feet to go through, and a sleeveless grey shirt that read ARMY. He spent some time with the surviving Marines with whom he’d fought, and attended a memorial service in the base chapel for those who’d fallen in battle.

But when he’d run out of errands to occupy his mind, he found himself wandering the corridors of the base, aimlessly meandering…

…no, not aimlessly. He was spending a disproportionate amount of time in the control rooms, the officers’ lounges, the command and control building. Places Uzi was likely to be.

Cursing himself for a fool—because there was no sign of the Blademaster and because he could not spend his life following ‘Taham around like a Grunt—he stepped into the garage, vowing to busy himself learning more about Human vehicles.

The door shut behind him with a bang and from across the garage, N’tho saw a claret-armoured head turn to look at him.

Uzi.

Their gazes locked. N’tho felt both his hearts speed up. Usze’s hands were quivering in a way N’tho remembered very, very well. His good intentions to find something constructive to do evaporated. The electricity between them was palpable; suddenly the room seemed very small and hot, but the distance between them so large…

Nitro pounced, crossing the space with lightning speed until he was right beside the other Sangheili. “Hey, how do you like the new outfit?”

Usze ‘Taham apparently had nothing to say at the sight of a SpecOps commando dressed in human clothing. He looked a little worried, a little surprised, but all the old Blademaster attitude was nowhere to be seen. The old Usze ‘Taham would have folded his arms and lifted his snout and said something cutting and cruel; the new Uzi stood frozen as Nitro got right up in his personal space and put his right hand over Usze’s left heart.

Nitro could feel the pulse hammering below the skin; Uzi’s hide was blazing hot. He felt a sudden relief to realize that under that helmet, Usze was more than just a little happy to see him.

He took Usze’s right hand in his left and put it over his left heart, letting Usze feel that he was just as excited, just as hot.

Then he took a step nearer, placing his muzzle under ‘Taham’s, wishing Uzi would get rid of the closed helmet so he could tuck his mandibles under the Blademaster’s. Their bodies pressed together; N’tho felt Uzi’s armour plates scraping through his thin shirt.

It felt good…unspeakably good. Too good to stop, even though N’tho knew better, even though Usze probably knew better as well.

Usze wasn’t stopping him.

Nitro closed his eyes, summoning courage to press his thigh between Usze’s legs. Oh, by the Rings, the other male was more than just a little aroused. The knowledge gave Nitro the courage he needed to rub suggestively against the Blademaster, because he was sure that ‘Taham’s control would crumble with just a little help….

Usze groaned. “Nitro. Are you telling me you want to…”

N’tho grabbed his partner’s hand, rested it against his thigh, then nudged it upwards. “Feel for yourself what I want,” Nitro whispered. “Then tell me, Uzi, what do you want?”

Usze’s voice stuttered as though he struggled for words. “I want you…” he managed.

“You want me to do what?” N’tho asked with a grin.

“Mate with me,” Usze whispered.

“Well,” N’tho replied, running his tongue over ‘Taham’s throat, “I think that would be a very nice thing to do…we should get rid of this armour, shouldn’t we?”

“I want…”

“Yes?”

Usze turned his head away, looking down at the floor. “I want you to mount me again,” he whispered. “I want…”

N’tho caught Usze’s head in his hands, guiding his lover back to look at him. Impatient, he popped the seal on the helmet and tossed it aside. Usze stood, transfixed, mandibles quivering…then, in submission, Usze closed his eyes. “I want you to fuck me,” he said, stumbling over the words.

Nitro released his grip on Usze in surprise—then he started pulling at Uzi’s lower body armor with hands trembling from anticipation. To hell with the jumpsuit! It unzipped in the crotch area for elimination purposes. That was going to be more than good enough for this purpose.

‘Taham was still not looking as he whispered, “Are you shocked? Disgusted? Bored?”

“What I am,” Nitro replied softly, “is hot. Get ready.”

Usze’s eyes flew open, widening as he watched N’tho undo the fly on his new pants. His expression was mostly shocked, though he could not seem to stop himself from checking out his partner “But…we’re in the middle of the garage!”

N’tho pressed against him insistently. “Can you wait until we make it back to your quarters?” He started nibbling Uzi’s neck. “I don’t think I can…” He started unzipping the bottom of Usze’s suit as soon as his hands could reach.

Usze whimpered. “You want me to get down on my knees…here…on the greasy floor…” He was panting. He looked horrified. But he was not pushing N’tho away.

“Of course not,” Nitro murmured with a naughty smile. “I want you bent over the hood of the nearest Warthog.”

*

Moments later, Usze felt his cheek rubbing against the hood of the Warthog as Nitro thrust into him again and again.

The smell of oil and grease, rubber tires, car batteries and the faint tang of paint filled his nostrils. The grille of the Warthog pressed into his belly. He felt the vehicle shifting under him and he wondered if they’d ruin the suspension before they were satisfied.

To hell with the suspension. Nitro’s hand had strayed from his cammo printed hip to Uzi’s bare, exposed shaft. Usze forgot everything in the joy of that touch.

Let the humans walk in and see. Let all Sanghelios watch if they wanted to. Let the whole damn universe know that Blademaster Usze ‘Taham loved getting fucked by N’tho ‘Sraom.

It felt so very much better than the cold reward of an an Ascetic’s pride. This was what it meant to enjoy being alive.

And Uzi would do it, whenever the opportunity presented itself, as long as it lasted. What would happen when things reached their inevitable end…that was a question for a distant future. The future was rendered irrelevant by a present this rich.

Usze threw back his head and screamed his joy to the skies, letting the garage echo with his cry of Nitro’s name.

*

Nitro tried to be dignified as he buttoned his pants back up. Tried to play cool and suave, like so many of the males he’d had—the ones who’d stand up when it was over, and smile and nod and straighten their armour and stroll out looking very pleased with themselves. It would impress Usze for sure if Nitro was able to act like a proud warrior and not a cringing little slut.

But as Nitro was trying to decide what witty quip to use—many of his previous mates had been fond of “carry on, soldier” though he’d always preferred to hear “thank you”—his gaze fell on Usze and he realized that the Blademaster would probably not even register his words.

Usze was still struggling to fasten his jumpsuit, his face purpled, his eyes not quite teary but definitely watery. His hand was shaking so much he could not draw the zip. He was crouching, hunched-over as if hoping the world would disappear.

And oh, Nitro knew the feeling, but he’d experienced it when the encounter had been bad: when his mate had been rough or cruel, or when he’d finally gone to bed with someone he thought might care for him, only to find out the next morning that he’d just been a night’s entertainment.

The Blademaster was more than a cheap fuck as far as Nitro was concerned.

N’tho knelt down beside Usze and took the Blademaster’s hands in his own, in a way none of his former mates had ever done for him. “Hey,” he said gently, “are you all right?”

Usze blinked away the moisture in his eyes and scowled.

Nitro didn’t buy the glare for a second and it faded as quickly as it arrived. “Nitro,” Uzi whispered, his mandibles quaking as if he could not speak.

N’tho helped him zip up his suit and reattach his armour, but when he picked up the Blademaster’s helmet, he kept it in his own hand. “Let’s go back to your room and talk, okay?”

Usze nodded. Nitro held out his arm. Usze cocked his head skeptically.

“If anyone asks,” Nitro said, “it’s your sprained leg from the Halo mission, acting up.”

Usze nodded, put his head on Nitro’s shoulder, and let the SpecOps warrior wrap his other arm around his back. Together they made their way back to the privacy of Uzi’s quarters.

*

Nitro guided Usze to the couch.

The bed was very, very tempting, but ‘Sraom knew exactly what would happen if he put Usze in the bed. Having his full body pressed up against ‘Taham’s would lead to another round of sex that would doubtlessly feel great, but fail to solve the problems at hand.

The Blademaster collapsed heavily onto the cushions. N’tho curled up beside him, close enough to be supportive, far enough away that Usze would not mistake his attentions for an invitation to mate again.

“Tell me what’s wrong,” N’tho murmured, his voice quivering, because it was frightening when Usze’s eyes frosted over with that cold Ascetic ice, putting up fortifications that not only kept the rest of the world out, but also buried his own heart under a bulwark of obligations, commandments, and rituals.

“What’s wrong?” Usze snapped. “I’m addicted, that’s what’s wrong!” His hand shot out and grasped N’tho’s so tightly it hurt.

“Is that so bad?” Nitro dared to bunt the tip of his muzzle gently against Uzi’s. Thank the Ancestors; he’d much rather have Usze glaring fire at him than retreating inwards. “I’m right here, Uzi…”

“Yes, you like your sex, don’t you?” ‘Taham was alrady threatening to withdraw back into that dry, sarcastic, slightly cruel shell again.

“I like this, too,” N’tho whispered.

“You like what?”

“This.” N’tho looked down to where his hand and Usze’s were locked together, then back up at his partner. He watched an expression of surprise dawn on Uzi’s face. “You didn’t know you did that, did you.”

“I…did…”

“You’ve been holding my hand ever since we sat down.”

“I started it?”

Nitro didn’t even try to hide his grin. “Yes you did.”

‘Taham closed his eyes as though in pain. “I’m losing control, Nitro. Do you understand the problem? I might have been too cold before, too distant, but this is rapidly heading towards the opposite extreme. You come along and I can’t keep my own clothes on. I drop to my knees and debase myself begging for your touch. I can’t even walk afterwards without you to lean on. At this rate I’m going to be completely dependent and utterly useless.”

“So that incident in the hangar…you’d have bent over that Hog for the next Sangheili who came along? No matter who it was?” N’tho murmured.

Usze’s eyes flew open in a look of shock. “Don’t be disgusting—of course not!”

N’tho shrugged. “So how is it the opposite extreme, then? Last I saw you were still being cool, controlled, arrogant, and only slightly less snotty to everyone who wasn’t me. I’m probably the only one who’s even noticed that anything’s changed.”

“Well….Marine Cyr did say I was more tolerable today.”

“Change for the better, then.”

“So you’re arguing that my problem is you. I knew that from the second we both ended up on the Arbiter’s honour guard!”

“Yeah,” Nitro growled back, “kind of like how my problem is you, you stubborn bastard. Why don’t you just shut up and be happy?”

Usze’s mandibles churned, but he had apparently run out of things to say. He let out a slow breath. “I feel…uneasy. Things are changing. Perhaps too fast.”

“When that mission ended, you asked me if I wanted to share something special with you. Remember?”

Usze nodded.

“Well,” N’tho replied, swallowing to moisten his suddenly dry throat, “maybe we’re just not done with that yet.”

Usze nodded again. “You’re right. I don’t think we are.” Perhaps N’tho was imagining it, but he thought he caught Uzi staring at his chest through the thin fabric of the human shirt. “What does this make us?”

“Make us?”

“Are we, you know, are we consorts now?”

N’tho swallowed. “I don’t think it works that way. I think one of us has to ask the other. I mean, that’s a commitment. You can’t just presume another person is willing to agree to it.”

“It’s got fewer obligations than a ceremonial bonding.”

“Just because a consort arrangement can be terminated doesn’t mean it doesn’t carry a certain degree of faithfulness.”

The Blademaster was silent for a while, thinking it over. “I don’t think that I am the consort type,” Usze said quietly.

N’tho leaned his head against Usze’s shoulder and closed his eyes. “Me neither. That’s one of my few, but strict, standards,” he said, his eyes still shut. “Right along with “don’t cross the species line.”

Usze stroked N’tho’s chest through his new shirt. “What’s this now about consorts and standards?”

“Well, you know Epse ‘Gamul and Rycl ‘Osted? Rycl is Epse’s consort, but Epse’s never made any kind of commitment in return. That means Epse can fuck anyone he pleases, but Rycl’s in trouble if he mates with anyone who isn’t Epse.”

“Like you.”

“Yeah.” N’tho opened his eyelids a crack. “I want you to know that another one of my standards is not to mate with Sangheili who have consorts or bondmates or wives or whatever, and if I’d have known that about Rycl, I wouldn’t have done it.” He licked his mandibles. “Maybe I should’ve, y’know, asked, or…or gotten to know something about him from other people first, and not been stupidly impulsive and half drunk at the time but…” He sighed. “I’m not making this any better, am I?”

Usze simply held him closer, soothing him with gentle touches. Every caress reminded N’tho that Uzi was not rejecting him for the sins in his past. Usze murmured, “Why don’t you take it back to this…dynamic…between Rycl and Epse. It seems very one-sided.”

“Yeah. It is.”

“Why would anyone agree to that sort of relationship?”

N’tho shrugged. “You want my guess? I think Rycl loves Epse…or did at one time…or thought he did…but ‘Gamul’s a possessive son of a Brute. He wants Rycl to belong to him. I think Rycl got tired of being ‘Gamul’s property, and if you ask me, I bet ‘Gamul doesn’t care too much about making Rycl happy. Rycl wanted to be on the other side for a change, and that night he was in the bar, drunk and upset and depressed, and when I came along, he saw an opportunity and took it. I’ll bet you my sword that ‘Gamul’s made him pay for it, but that’s not enough…’Gamul’s got to make me pay too. Make a lesson of me, so everyone else knows to keep their claws off ‘Gamul’s property.”

“Not love. Ownership.”

“Yeah.” N’tho kicked his foot idly. “Which is why I said I’d never be someone’s consort. I might be easy, but I’m not anyone’s slave, and I’m not going to pledge fidelity to someone who gives me nothing in return.”

“Nitro.” Usze licked his mandibles; they parted and then he seemed to reconsider what he was about to say. Instead he reached into the storage compartment in his thigh armour and pulled out two cards. He faced Nitro with a card in each hand and waved the one on the right. “This is a passkey to your own personal quarters. They’re down the hall from mine.” He closed his fingers around it instead of handing it to Nitro. “This,” he said, indicating the second card, “is a passkey to this room we’re in now.” Then he held both out to Nitro. “Which would you like?”

N’tho bit his mandibles, trying to guess the right answer. “If I pick the second one, does that mean you’re sleeping in the first room?”

“No, it would, ah…”

“It would mean I’m sleeping in your room,” N’tho clarified.

“Well, if you were sleeping in it too, it would be our room…” Usze looked awkward, stumbling over his words and scratching at his armour, and N’tho couldn’t help but smile. Uzi scowled. “Stop grinning at me, you jerk.”

“Our room,” N’tho repeated softly. “Not just yours with me in it.”

“You just gave me that lecture about one-sided dynamics, which I happened to agree with.”

N’tho lunged for the second passkey. His hand closed around it, but Uzi didn’t let go of it, and they ended up muzzle to muzzle with their fingertips touching across the smooth surface of the card. “I want to sleep in our room.”

“I wonder,” Usze murmured, “will I ever get to sleep…”

“Sure,” N’tho grinned. “You just have to wear me out first.”