The Sentimental Feelings

Author: Ciissi
Fandom: Star Ocean III: Till the End of Time
Pairing: Albel Nox x Fayt Leingod
Disclaimer: I do not own Star Ocean III. It belongs to Square Enix, may they do lots of more good games. Playing FFIX when writing does not help!
Warnings: Eventually NC-17 and for this chapter I give a gore-warning! Contains yaoi meaning at least two boys having sex together but not in first few chapters. Possible child abuse but not in sexual manner.
Author's Note 1: I present you momentarily a mightily OCC-Albel-chan. And again: The GORE-warning! I might be overreacting but I think this time the warning is there for reason. I am sorry if this is not what you would have except from this fiction, but if Albel really has nightmares... they are no kiddy stuff. The theme song of this chapter is Blood Red Sandman by Lordi. Does anybody know any good horror-fictions from yaoi-genre? I am getting desperate here because I want to write psychological horror but I have not ever read a single horror-fiction...

Answers for reviews: It warms me to notice that there are persons who have read this fiction from the chapter one and are still reading and review this fiction that has been going on for now about a year! My deepest thanks! I bow to you because of your patience. It also delights me to notice a review from someone who has not reviewed before. Thank you for having some time to look over this little creation of mine!
To stella: Oh wow... I am kind of... dazed... I really am... amazed that you 'advertised' this fiction to you friend. But I guess that is logical thing to do if you like story? I am too sloppy at summers but hopefully this chapter was worth of waiting. Lazy, happy summer to you too in the RL and I hope you see more your friends than I am seeing mine!
To Seraph: Damn, I adore you nick! X3 Well... sometimes it just happens so that The Net... is "wonderful". As in sarcasm. But hopefully you enjoyed the fiction when you finally were able to access AFF.net. Glad to have you back! Albel would kill both of us from calling him 'cute'. XD But he suits as a little pervert too well. Or it is just accident that his clothes make you want to peak under them? O__o??
To Rho: You have been very active in studying my writing methods and you have even supported this fiction by drawing a picture from it! I never thought that someone would like this fiction enough to draw something for it. It is kind of sad, but if you think *any* fandom in yaoi-genre and -fictions, usually only the OTP gets a 'stage-time' and writers mostly trust that readers already know the other characters so they tend to stay in two-dimensional basic types of 'villain', 'good friend', 'family member'. I can not say that that is wrong way to write, but if one really, really wants to produce literature (as I want to do), one can not ignore the 'unlikable characters' they exist in the every story and book one form or another. I hate Sophia. It is not secret, but it is also a fact that I would like her little bit more if she had a different kind of voice-actress. We had a good conversation about Sophia in faytxalbel-community in LJ. It really forced me to think again *how* I can use her character for the sake of the plot-development. I still hate Sophia though and I still laugh my ass off when I see someone supporting paring AlbelSophia. XDD *skids off to laugh somewhere else* Ahem... Sorry. I am not quite sure if I like Roger, but in most of the fictions he seems to serve only as a comedy-relief (maybe players do not use him actively?) and when I first time got Adray into my party he really, really, REALLY crept me out. I swear he was thinking to molest both Fayt *and* Albel... ... Oh, god! Baaaaaaaaad mental image! I put lot of effort into that last scene. I sure do not like Cliff's nature and attitude in the game but because he is a kick-ass killer/fighter in the game I have no hard feelings for him. But I would *hate* to meet him in the RL. The music I listen is easily reflected into the chapters I write. I prefer Nightwish over Within Temptation and Within Temptation over Evanescence. I hope you update Fayted sometime. I would really like to know what is going to happen next.
To tama: I thank you for the critique. I am in need of that because otherwise I fear I start to think that I am high and mighty or something like that. Now that you brought this issue of my... lack... of proper English grammar up again... I have to confess that the lack or misusage of the grammar is my choice of style. When I am writing prose, stories (call it whatever you wish), I am always discarding the grammar. I hope it is not too hard to read? If you were to read my Archeology essays, it might be not able to think that they are from the same writer than this fiction. My own native language (Finnish) has some kind of grammar but it is nowhere as binding as it is in English. I wonder if it is harder for persons, whose native language is English, to abandon the proper grammar? You are the first one ever mentioned in review about 'the philosophical reasoning' that I am doing in this fiction. No one had before mentioned it and I have always wondered if they are something that everyone had already read and there is nothing new here. The way in which I think in the RL is very strongly reflected in many places and parts of this fiction. Those are parts of my beliefs and I am not force-feeding them to anyone, but they show who I am.
To scat: Umm... You are praising me too much, but I am glad that you did not find my fiction as a disappointment. I wonder if my summary sucks or promises too much...? I hope that the part with Sophia was not too much. It was a plot-development decision.

*****

Part One - Chapter Twelve: The Consolation (It was nightmarish...)
In the world, which surrounded Albel Nox, it was an undeniable fact that nothing lasted forever - especially happiness. He was constantly reminded of this very principal of the world every evening when he closed his eyes and allowed himself to drift into the embrace of the dreams. Only seldom his dreams brought peace and rest. Albel had forgotten how cruel the real world was. He had forgotten just because after his unwilling trip and change back to his childhood he had not experienced almost any nightmares.

Albel did not know the reason for the missing torturing dreams. Were they gone because of his current state? Were they gone because his days had suddenly become lazier and more peaceful? Or were those horrid dreams driven away by the presence of the blue-haired, emerald-eyed Earthling boy?

No matter how much Albel chewed the problem over and over in his mind, he did not find answers to his questions. Although he made a mental remark to himself how he had somehow without realizing made concessions to adjust the Leingod boy's way of living and wondered if he had became a wimp by doing so while forcing the emerald-eyed youngster make a fuss over getting Albel into his night clothes. With certain distaste Albel marked that he was still sleeping in the fool's black pajama shirt, but for some unexplained reason every single piece of night clothing, which they had bought for Albel, was in one way or the other uncomfortable to wear: One was too tight, another had too short sleeves, next had too many buttons and so on. So Albel had settled the matter by taking the younger male's only pajama shirt as his own.

Any of the females of the party - who had noticed from the very beginning Albel's habit to steal Fayt's black shirt - did not dare to hint that Albel was feeling a strong dislike towards his new clothing because they did not have the fragrance that had to be typical for Fayt. Nel tried to be in denial and refused to acknowledge the Wicked One's more accepting behavior towards Fayt. Peppita did not notice anything. Maria tried her best to fit this behavior-patter into the picture she had of Albel Nox and was furious because she could not. Sophia was annoyed and pouted and tried to steal the shirt from the Elicoorian only to fail miserably. Mirage snickered behind her hand and teased Fayt motherly to see the youngster blush furiously and stutter lame excuses.

Every evening before going to bed Fayt took care of Albel's hair. It mesmerized him without end. It was longer, softer and silkier than any woman's he had ever seen. Fayt had noticed that he was fussier over Albel's hair than the owner of the hair himself. They both somewhat enjoyed the half an hour that it took for Fayt to unravel the hair-tails, brush the long locks and tie them loosely. It was Fayt's secret desire to feel those black-and-gold locks falling freely over his naked skin, to bury his fingers into them.

They both had some habits or ways of doing things before they went into bed to sleep. Some of those habits were quite private. Because Fayt felt that he was invading Albel's privacy during Albel's unwanted and somewhat forced transformation into a child, he had very soon after the first night talked about those every evening habits with the other male. So they formed a routine where their habits were disturbed as little as possible and even developed some new ones which bound their separated lives into one.

Fayt never questioned if Albel had ever shared his bed with other person. It really was not his business although the easiness with which Albel adjusted to sleeping with him in the same bed and even sharing the same quilt made Fayt suspect things. He never said, worded out his suspicions, because it did not belong to him, but it did make him feel a little bit envious for that person or persons who had shared Albel's bed as lovers in the past.

Albel thought of nothing about sharing the bed and the covers with the Earthling youngster. He was trapped into a fucking body of a child! He did not even share a thought if he could have slept in the same bedding with the Leingod if they both had been adults. Albel knew by now that Fayt Leingod had never even *thought* of sleeping, having sex with other male.

When Albel realized *what* he was planning to do to cure Leingod from that, the Glyphian Captain came to conclusion that his brains had finally decayed. All this sexual tension, that he was not able to release in any way, was *definitely* not good for him. But he could not resist the desire to imagine how things could have been in a situation in which both of them had their real bodies back, before he with extra effort pushed those kinds of thoughts out of his head and closed his eyes in need of rest, sleep.

*****

Albel was dreaming. He knew he was dreaming because the scenery around him was as it was always, never changing. His skin was marred by thousands of small cuts - drip, drip, dripping his blood - and bruises. His own blood flowed freely, painfully from the wounds and from the side of his mouth, painting his pale, delicate skin with the crimson and purple symbols of war and death. His clothes were soiled, ripped and filthy. Albel carried no sword and his claw was badly damaged, acting only as a slowing weight on his side. He had no shoes on his feet and the dead, scorching ground under his soles burned and corroded the thick skin.

In this barren land, which was formed from the deadly, hot pools of melted rock and acid surrounded by narrow and uneven pathways and slippery sand formed from the nearly liquid steel and iron, no trees - even bare, dead and dry - broke the emptiness of the blood-red sky covered by dusty, grey clouds of endless, waterless thunderstorms or the straightness of the horizon, where the tearless sky merged with red, orange, brown, black and with the ground. This land forbad, rejected the every form of life and movement. If there was a wind that would blow, it would not bring any kind of relief to the damp, pressing air filled with painful electricity and hotness. In this barren world of his very own soul Albel Nox made his journey eternally alone.

Albel's father, Glou Nox, was always with him in this world of mental torture, physical pain that never faded, never changed. A black figure was eternally consumed by the torrid flames of the dragon's breath. Never a word of complaint, a wail of pain left from the burning figure's lips.

In his dream Albel was looking for something. What? He did not know. Every single time when he dreamt of this dead, rotting world he was looking for something, someone, but he never found what he was searching for. Was it because of lack of effort? Or was it because he had yet to search every corner of this barren, lonely place? Was it even possible to find something from a world as dead as this, which repelled all signs of life, pleasure? Or was it so that Albel was not even allowed to find what he was looking for?

The figure's eyes boiled and ran down its deformed, unrecognizable face. Its skin parched turning into black charcoal and peeled off revealing the tissues of flesh, muscle, joints, blood vessels underneath. Slowly the skinless figure's flesh turned from red to brown and finally black. Never a word of complaint, a wail of pain left from the burning figure's lips.

But in this land, there were no gods. Gods did not exist here. Life did not exist here. Joy and happiness and love and pleasure and needing did not exist here in this world that mirrored Albel Nox's very soul.

The joints snapped and made the faceless, formless once human body jerk, twitch, convulse uncontrollably. Finally with agonizing slowness the flesh bent to its fate and grilling, smoking, ripped from the bones. The air was filled with the strong smell of burning skin, hair and flesh. Never a word of complaint, a wail of pain left from the burning figure's lips.

Everything Albel Nox had ever wanted for was forgiveness, but there was no-one who could have been able ever grant it to him. The person, people whose forgiveness he might have wanted, were no more. They all had been gone for a long time now. Only Albel had survived. It made him wonder... Why he even wanted their forgiveness? He had never done anything wrong to them. Because in the real world only the fittest survived.

The heart pumping blood into veins saw the daylight. The stomach and the intestines were still working to digest the man's last meal. The spleen, the kidneys, the liver, all of the organs of the human body plainly on sight. Every rib was easy to count, every vertebra of the spine with their ridge and every deformation in the bones... The blood in veins boiling and vessels bursting open, covering Albel with the red rain of life-elixir and burning on his sliced skin, maunder mind, soiled soul. It did not take long before there were only bones left and then... not even bones. Never a word of complaint, a wail of pain left from the burning figure's lips.

Albel stared blindly at the surface of the nearby acid pool and without really noticing or wondering the face of a female - looked like it was some Aquarian wench - that formed into the liquid. The deformed mouth of the woman opened, and screaming and wailing it poured million curses into the air, mocking, swearing Albel the Wicked before the surface calmed down back to the mirror-like stillness only reflecting a picture of a shattered, tormented Airyglyphian young Captain, locked inside the prison of his own mind and soul and spirit where he was doomed to look for something.

For a moment everything was still. The fire was yet burning brightly over the ashes. Slowly bones reconstructed, the organs, the flesh, the veins and finally the skin and the eyes and hair returned to normal. Glou Nox smiled sadly to his only child and the decomposition, the burning began anew. Again and again as the circle was unending, agony apparent.

If this world was the world where fittest survived... What happened to the fittest? Albel had seen it so many times and he had accepted that he would meet the very same destiny than every single one of the 'fittest'. It was a fact that those who had died before the fittest were food of worms and maggots turning those *humans* into worms and maggots. But even the fittest... in the end they too turned into food of worms and maggots and those people who refused to acknowledge this fact... Yes. They were fools. Entertaining, but fools. The thought made Albel chuckle a hollow, joyless laugh which echoed inside his head and ricocheted from the melting stone, liquid acid, burning iron everywhere in this land of truth and dreams of personage of Albel the Wicked.

Yet never a word of complaint, a wail of pain, a curse of accusation left from the burning figure's mouth. The air around those two men was filled with the whispers of forgiveness and absolution. Never was Albel able to hear the exact words in those whispers clearly and never was Albel able to shut the voice creating those whispers out of his ears.

It was Albel's curse. This never ending dream that repeated his strong, kind Lord Father's quick death with slowed motion and he knew too well that everything he saw in his nightmares was what he had seen in real life on that fateful day of the ceremony of his accession. But back then it had been over in seconds. Here... here in this land of dead and self-loathing it took too long. Every detail... every detail... shown without shame... There was no privacy in his dream world... no modesty. Just raw, undisguised truth about human body. Sore reminder of what every human - no matter how noble or evil or kind or bashful - in the end were made of.

Albel the Wicked indeed!

This world showed what Albel really was. A killer. A sinner. A kinslayer! The high and mighty 'Wicked One' was a soulless demon which only pleasure and joy was killing and was dead inside without hope of salvation. Because with his own hand he had destroyed everything that he had held dear to himself. And even now it was his fate to destroy everything around him.

A black figure was eternally consumed by the torrid flames of the dragon's breath.

Albel stopped for a moment to think. Those words... 'fate' and 'destroy'... seemed to ring some bell in his mind trying to present some kind of important clue to him. A clue that might have helped him to find out *what* he was looking for in his dreams. But those words... 'destiny' and 'destroy'... were the words Albel hated the most! Disgusting, ugly words that bound him down and could never bring him the salvation he craved.

The figure's eyes boiled and ran down its deformed, unrecognizable face.

And Albel rejected those two words... of 'kismet' and 'destroy'... and embraced other words... of 'undestined' and 'freed'... because the first two words could only bring pain and loss to him. He did not want things predestined to happen, and he wanted to be free from the pain and the sin and the shame which were his only reality. Albel Nox wished. He wished that at least in this dream world of pain and agony of his own, words 'kismet' and 'destroy' would not exist.

The figure's skin parched turning into black charcoal and peeled off revealing the tissues of flesh, muscle, joints, blood vessels underneath.

Albel wanted to rest. His entire body was aching, but something drove him forward. He was yet to find what he was searching for. His small wounds and gashes, which had been almost healing, began to bleed even more. Albel's pale skin was turning a deep red shade. His pinkish lips were turning white, blue from the lack of the blood and coldness which had nothing to do with the air temperature because it was scorching hot and dry without any kind of dampness. His throat was screaming for water of salvia or *any* kind of wetness that would have eased the sharp agony-effect every time he swallowed. Albel's usually bright, sharp eyes were gleaming feverishly and dulled by the lack of hope, joy, pleasure. He was hot, cold, burning up and freezing down. His gestures, movements were slow and clumsy. His bleeding wounds were fresh and pouring.

Slowly the skinless figure's flesh turned from red to brown and finally black.

Albel knew from experience that he could not stay any longer in this same spot. If he would not continue on with his search, the acid daggers cutting into his soul would bring forth more, more pain, agony, guilt. If he would not continue on with his search, he would not have anything else to look at than his Lord Father being slowly consumed by flames of hellish dragons and then reconstructed cell by cell.

The joints snapped and made the faceless, formless once human body jerk, twitch, convulse uncontrollably.

The air was heavy, hot, impossible to breathe in without the pain of dryness consuming the lungs. The sky was the color of the faraway fire destroying cities, farms, homes, lives. The dusty, murky color of coppery red and orange tainted with gray and brown. There was no soothing, refreshing breeze and no sign of cool, calm waters.

Finally with agonizing slowness the flesh bent to its fate and grilling, smoking, ripped from the bones.

Dead, dead, dead... The land in the soul of Albel Nox... dead, dead, dead...

The air was filled with the strong smell of burning skin, hair and flesh.

It might have been seconds, it might have been eternities. The time Albel Nox traveled forward, his father's forgiving, binding words echoing in his ears. Nothing changed around him. Nothing moved inside him. It was impossible for him to think that even death would be this lonely, trivial. Then Albel thought he heard voices, but he shook the thought off as a mirage created by his mind. But when it became clear that he *was* indeed hearing as real as possible voices as one can hear in one's dreams, he raised his face and felt a cool wind touching, with faint rustle of his bangs. The smells of dust, acid and burning flesh and hair were gone.

Albel had arrived somewhere and he wondered if this place was what he was always looking for. The place was hardly any more brightly colored than the world of his dreams, but the ground under him was now a clearly street and walls of houses rose at his sides. Cautiously Albel looked around himself and took a tentative step forward and towards the voices he heard. Behind a nearby corner a person turned to the same street that Albel was walking. The other person was carrying someone in his arms and it took for moment for Albel to realize that it was he himself sitting in that embrace while Fayt Leingod talked about insignificant matters that were only meant to fill in, to break the silence. But it was undeniable fact that he held the little Albel very gently in his arms.

For a moment the mirage was there and then it was gone like it never had existed, leaving Albel blink his eyes stupidly. He wondered for a moment about the meaning of the image, memory before the smell, the suffocating air and the haunting whispers drove him onward. Then he reminded himself that he was a sinner, a kinslayer who had no right to happiness and who destroyed everything and everybody around him with his bloodstained hands. Everyone around him were maggots, worms or fools, weak and disgusting.

The heart pumping blood into veins saw the daylight.

Then again something around Albel changed. This time it was the light which changed and made him raise his eyes towards the sky.

The stomach and the intestines were still working to digest the man's last meal.

High up in the dirty red sky Albel saw two lights. The first one was pure white in color, more brilliant than any sun. The other one was pitch black in color, darker than any black hole. As those lights descended towards Albel they took a shape of humans and by the time their foot touched the ground, Albel had had a long time to observe their forms veiled by a white, hooded robe and a black, hooded robe. Their wings were the rays of the sun and the veil of the darkness. They carried weapons made out of some kind of creamy white metal and blackened steel. Neither of these celestial beings said a word as they studied Albel's form.

"We have come for you, Albel Nox", the white being said with cold, impersonal voice which broke the haven that soundlessness created around Albel. His aura gave off a feeling of unearthliness and uncaring and Albel could not say if he had ever heard this voice though it was faintly familiar. The white being seemed to be free of any kind of destiny and guilt, pure and clean, above everything earthly.

The black being stood in silence beside the white one. Unlike its pure companion the black one seemed to pulsate from the life and violence. The movement was in its every breath as it yielded in front of its destiny. It had lost its innocence and yet it was able to laugh, to cry, to smile, to kill. The black being was very much earthly one. It did not deny the pains and the pleasures of life. It knew the weight of guilt and was bound by its destiny to kill and destroy.

Albel looked at those two creatures in confusion. He did not understand their meaning, their purpose. He had never before dreamt of something like this and he was feeling at loss. Something in him wanted to deny the existence of the white being and turn to the black one. But as always Albel resisted the temptation and opted to just wait and see what these two would want of him.

The black one sighed almost unnoticeably and shifted slightly in some sort of distress. "Sometimes I really wonder, why do you hate me so much, Albel Nox..." it whispered and the white one let out a little, creepy giggle that made Albel's neck hair stand up as it draw its creamy white sword. The black one let out a new sigh and raised its hand to remove the hood shadowing its face. "I am sorry, Albel, to force you to live at borrowed time. Please forgive me", Fayt Leingod asked from wide-eyed Albel.

For his utter horror Albel was unable to do anything as the white blade pieced the blue-haired boy's throat cutting him off from air. In paralyzing fascination he stared when the emerald-eyed Earthling raised his fingers to curl around the strange blade and tried to scream in pain and agony. His knees gave up and refused to support his weight and the Leingod son slumped to the ground, the spotless blade slipping out of the wound. The white one stepped closer the slumped form.

The spleen, the kidneys, the liver, all of the organs of the human body plainly on sight.

Albel had heard that sound many times, the sound of someone snapping other's spine and crushing the ribs with a more or less accurate kick. Usually those sounds were companied by the screams of pain, but as the white being continued on there was not a single call of agony. Albel wanted to make the white one to stop but he could not move. He could not close his eyes. He could not cover his ears.

Every rib was easy to count, every vertebra of the spine with their ridge and every deformation in the bones...

A clear, beautiful laughter of once cherished friend chimed in the air as the white one stopped for a moment in its kicking and glanced at Albel. "Why so silent, Albel Nox? Why so horrified, Albel Nox?" it inquired mockingly. Once again the white being kicked the Earthling male, but this time he ended up on his back. The white one shred the blue-haired male's black robes and uncovered his chest that was barely moving from breathing. The white being seemed to purr from the mere thought of what would happen next.

The blood in veins boiling and vessels bursting open, covering Albel with the red rain of life-elixir and burning on his sliced skin, maunder mind, soiled soul.

In his frozen state Albel was not able to stop himself from admiring the white one's technique which he used to neatly slice open Albel's only friend's skin and muscles of the chest. The Earthling warrior convulsed and jerked in agony and the coarse scream of pain was produced in the throat, which vocal cords were already broken. Powerlessly Albel stared the punch of muscles, which was called heart, faltering in its steady beat, when the white robed one poked it with is sword. The light of the white being made the sword glimmer and Albel realized that it was not made out of metal. The sword was made out of bone.

It did not take long before there were only bones left and then... not even bones.

With violent motion the white being wrenched the only son of Leingod family up from the ground. It dangled the other one by his hair and showed the mutilated body of his friend to Albel in its entire grotesque appearance. "Look at him. Powerless, useless toy." The Earthling was not really there any more. Albel was able to see how the light in the blue-haired warrior's eyes slowly dulled and disappeared. Then... Fayt Leingod was no more.

The fire was yet burning brightly over the ashes.

The white being giggled happily and let its hold of the body's hair loosen. The body collapsed. "Broken toys and tools are always thrown away."

Slowly bones reconstructed, the organs, the flesh, the veins and finally the skin and the eyes and hair returned normal.

Albel wanted to ask, why. Why was this being doing something like this? But he was bound by some kind of force. He suspected the white creature in front of himself smiling and giggling like a child. Killing was no game or play for children.

Glou Nox smiled sadly to his only child and the decomposition, the burning began anew.

The white being smirked. "The light is always there before the destruction. The calm is always there before the storm."

Something triggered in Albel's mind and he realized something. Pale white Albel stared the hooded person in front of himself. "You..." he started in disgust and the white being raised its hand on the hood, "... are..." Albel thought he was going to be suffocated by his own tongue as the hood dropped down.

Albel hated being a child. Never before had he noticed that everything was dimensioned suitable for the *adults*, not for a less than 100 centimeters tall child! The current reason for this realization was a tub. The tub Albel wanted to use to wash his face and hands.

... Why it had to be so fucking big?!

It was really good luck that Albel was resourceful. It also *did* help that there was a stool in the bathroom. It did not take much time or organizational skills to move the stool beside the tub. Then Albel had to climb on the stool and lean over the edge of the tub to reach on the water.

Albel just had not taken one small detail in consideration. The stool had four legs which were quite centered. As Albel reached over the edge of the tub he stood on the edge of the stool. Which misbalanced the piece of furniture in question. Which lead into the stool falling over.

When the stool fell over, Albel lost his balance and toppled over into the tub. His head went immediately under the surface of the water. He was only able to yell briefly. As spluttered with the water he heard the door opening and he could only think of how mortifying it was to allow the blue-haired leader of their group to see him like this.

Albel was able to have some sort of the hold from the edge of the tub and pull himself something like out of the water. Momentarily he wondered, why the blue-haired youngster had not helped him if he was standing there. He turned his head and when he see the other one just standing there with his arms crossed over his chest, Albel opened his mouth to tell him *what* he thought of fools like the other one.

Just then the blue-haired male moved behind Albel, put his hand on top of Albel's head tenderly smiling... and pressed the child-formed Elicoorian's head firmly under the water.

At first Albel was so shocked that he could not react. Only when water filled his mouth, he was able to do something to stop himself from drowning. But he had lost a lot of precious air and he could not understand the reason behind the act. The burning of the lungs started soon after. Albel tried to desperately hold his breath, but... His mouth opened in need of air. The little oxygen left escaped as bubbles towards the surface and his mouth was full of water. Mercifully Albel was raised from the water and greedily he sucked the air into his lungs. Hardly had he filled his lungs, when he was forced to submerge again.

It was the beginning of the new, cruel play of the green-eyed boy. It felt like he was testing how much Albel could take before his guardian would grow tired of the game. And the end came after he had submerged Albel about twenty times. The feeling of suffocation had never before stroke Albel like it did now. He struggled to free from the irony grip, to get back to the air, but he was too weak. The air left his lungs and water filled the empty space quickly.

Albel's last thought was irrelevant. //That's not real!//

"... F..." The white one raised its sword and its hazy eyes gleamed from expectation.

It was a fact that somewhere along this stupid mission to save this fucked up universe of theirs something was bound to go wrong.

Albel reminded himself that the reason, why he was still tacking along, was the blue-haired fool, who had been able to defeat him, and the fact that the things would have turned very boring now that Lord Vox was dead and the war between Airyglyph and Aquaria was over. He strived to become stronger. *This* was not it!

It was a fact that somewhere along this stupid mission to save this goddamn doomed home universe of theirs Albel was bound to meet total idiots and land painfully on his ass.

No matter what Albel Nox had expected from this trip, turning into a three-year-old definitely was not on his list. But perhaps he should have known to expect something like this. Traveling with a brainless ape, obnoxious brat and pink wench could result in anything. So why was he surprised by this newest turn of events?

Albel hated being the object of attention of these maggots that followed the foolish Leingod boy around the reality like overactive puppies. He tried to stare down the worms around him, but it was rather hard when he was shorter than that tailed brat with too big thoughts about himself.

The door opened and Albel turned to face the only person it could be. His blood-red eyes met the emerald-green ones and he was shocked to wordless from the annoyance and anger in those eyes. The words cut deep into Albel's scarred soul, when the blue-haired Earthling wanted to know what they were going to do with this useless, weak tree stump that could only slow down their journey.

Albel's last thought was irrelevant, when his world collapsed. //That's not real!//

"... A..." The white one sprung onward.

The air was cold, freezing cold, but Albel could have not cared less. He did what he could to preserve his strength, life-force by sinking into half-sleep. He knew that before long Vox would let that maggot of torturer get his slimy hands on Albel. So he really did not want to be or needed to be aware what ever happened in his dungeon cell. That is until he heard the old man speaking to him.

"I've got an errand for you, boy", the old mad spoke to Albel with his hoarse voice.

Albel the Wicked slowly gave up his hazy haven of sleep and half-consciousness. It took him some time to raise his head so he could see the old man. "What?" His voice was soft and gentle lacking its usual sharpness because it had been so long since he had last time used his vocal cords.

The old man allowed a small smile touch his lips before he got back to the business: "You have been given a mission to accompany these people to the Urssa Lava Caves. If you complete this task, you will be acquitted of all charges." A simple statement with the sound that gave no other options but to accept the offer.

The Wicked One turned to look at the persons with the old man. He recognized the young, blue-haired male as the one who had beat him in the somewhat fair fight. As their eyes met Albel shivered inside. "With those scum?!" he snarled and rattled the chains violently never letting his contact with the blue-haired fool to break. Albel felt his guts turning and disgusting, sour taste raise to his mouth as he read the malice in those brilliant emerald-eyes. Had they always been like that? Mean, bitter, full of evil intention and desire to kill. "You must be joking! You're senile, old man!" Albel the Wicked resisted faintly and something inside him broke... "They're the enemy!"

The words Albel spit out cut like thousand knives and seemed like the blue-haired maggot got enough. What ever the old man planed to say, was never really worded out because the blue-haired malice shoved the old man aside and pinned Albel firmly against the wall with his lithe, powerful body. Albel felt every centimeter of that unfamiliar body against his own. He felt a hand under his short shirt caressing and other one on his hip warming him both inside and outside.

The brilliant eyes locked with Albel's bloody ones as the blue-haired demon leisurely hissed into Albel's ear words which no other could hear: "I hate you, Nox, but I'll make you serve *under* me. Your life's now mine and as long as you're useful I'll allow you to live." His face in Albel's eyes was beautiful, but the desire in those once so bright eyes was something else. Dictator, hate, killer, hate, torturer, hate, destroyer, hate...

What happened after that was misty haze in Albel's mind. No matter where he looked at he saw only hate, disgust, desire to kill him, thoughts how useless he would be to him, the dark-green eyes promising him a sexual humiliation over and over again. But he could not say anything as he followed his new 'comrades' out of the dungeon.

Albel's last thought was irrelevant, when he stopped to believe in salvation. //That's not real!//

"... Y..." When the sword of bone pierced his right lung, Albel wanted to deny ever seeing a pleasure of killing in his killer's familiar eyes.

It was a truth of the world - even for Albel Nox - that there were things called undeniable facts. And as unbelievable as it was Albel Nox of the Black Brigade had lost a fight. No, not *a* fight, *the* fight. He had lost against those worms that had killed that idiot of Shelby. He had lost the fight and thus betrayed his King and his kingdom.

Dropped on his knees, leaning his katana, the Wicked One studied the faces of his winners. He hated the red-headed, Aquarian bitch, but he could only snarl at her. He detested the over-muscled blond ape, but he could only spare him a dirty word. But what made Albel most horrified was the fact that he could not do anything else than stare in amazement at the blue-haired person that seemed to command the other two.

The blue-haired male smiled and laughed with the other two and finally sent them off. He stayed alone with Albel. Slowly he turned around and his eyes blazed in irritation and hate. On his forehead Albel saw a strange bright-blue circle with complicated patterns. The blue-haired one opened his mouth and his voice echoed unnaturally. "Oh God, you're such a *pest*", he complained. "You always appear on my path and hinder my plans." His irritation was more than clear and he raised his hand. "Ethereal Blast!" he hissed with cold voice and everything was covered with bright, white light.

Albel's last thought was irrelevant, when his life ended. //That's not real!//

"... T..."

Albel the Wicked was bored. He hated the wintery weather outside. He hated the entire fucking *town* of Airyglyph! The King, lords and ladies in the castle were useless maggots who had too much free time in their hands, which led at least some of them to reveal their boredom by talking and annoying Albel. It was some sort of blessing that Albel the Wicked had the reputation of a cruel, evil man. It prevented the contact with most the useless fancy-pants.

But still there were persons who were brave - or stupid depending on the point of view - enough to try talking with the Wicked One. There were not many indeed, but even so they were enough to make Albel irritated and antsy. To avoid all the idle-talkers, he descended down to the dungeon. He was fully aware that he was summoned to talk with the King and his counselors - after all he was one of them.

But Albel was not interested in waiting gods know how long before the King would grace his advisors with his presence. So Albel retreated down to the dungeon. He could have gone into his room, but for some reason he was feeling rather restless and when he was restless, useless and disturbing people died.

As soon as Albel reached the dungeon he heard Vox's favorite maggot questioning someone and observed the inquiry from the deepest, darkest shadows. It sounded as though the maggot was not very successful and soon the inquisitor passed by Albel without noticing him. The carelessness of the disgusting worm made Albel fume and he stepped in the room where he saw a blue-haired prison hanging from the chains.

As curious Albel neared the prison, the appealingly delicate face rose to see who was there with him. Albel almost loudly sucked the air when he stared into a pair of most amazing emerald-eyes he had ever seen. They were clouded by pain and despair and when their owner had for a moment inspected Albel, the eyes showed also fear.

Albel stood in front of the prisoner, raised his clawed hand and grabbed the prisoner by his chin. In those eyes there was a good deal of stubbornness. It made Albel chuckle. "There's no escape, maggot", he laughed. "If they won't break your spirit, I'll do it." His claws drew five deep wounds on the prisoner's face.

The prisoner called out in pain.

Albel let go and licked the blood from the tips of his claw. "What a pity... such a pretty face...", he chuckled darkly. Then Albel heard someone calling him. He glanced one last time at the prisoner whose eyes were now full of rage and hate. Albel smirked shortly. "Believe me, maggot. There's no escape." He turned his back to the prisoner and exited from the dungeon. "I know that best...", he whispered to himself.

Albel's last thought was irrelevant, when he ceased dreaming of the freedom. //THAT IS *NOT* REAL!//

The emerald-green eyes shone from the unearthly power as Fayt Leingod, the Embodiment of Destruction, twisted the sword in Albel's lung. His breath was hot, too hot and his face radiated from delight and satisfaction. "I want to thank you, Albel Nox", he whispered with that gentle, warm voice of his into Albel's ear and licked and nibbled it with sexual desire. "You woke me to realize that I do not have to be so meek and goody-two-shoes." The Embodiment of Destruction twisted once more the blade in Albel's lung and wrenched the blade off the Albel's being. "*You* made me realize that I do not have to be a mortal, that I can be much more!"

Albel felt the blade tearing his flesh and internal organs and crushing his ribs. The keen scream of horror and pain escaped from his lips. A single tear ran down his face and he did not know why. As the blue-haired swordsman kicked, breaking his breastbone and toppling him, Albel remembered that this feeling was often called 'sadness' or 'mourning' or 'loss'. But he could not identify the reason. He broke out of his inner reverie when he felt a warm, moist tongue licking away the single tear on his face.

Albel and the impersonated Fayt Leingod stared at each other for a time that felt like forever. Slowly the impersonator leaned down and carefully brushed his lips against Albel's. Their eyes met again before their lips locked into a passionate kiss that stole away Albel's reason. But as he tasted the blue-haired one's mouth, he could not feel anything behind this kiss. There was only emptiness in this 'Fayt Leingod', nothing at all and Albel had no interest to continue the kiss.

The lips of the emerald-eyed one twisted from the displeasure and hate when it moved away after sensing Albel's mood. The white one breathed with a hiss and stood up. "Let me tell you something, Albel the Wicked", he spitted and raised his sword. "I made this sword from *your* bones after I killed you! The greatest fool in the Universe!"

Albel did no longer listened to the Embodiment of Destruction going on and on with its talking. He was still feeling the blade of bone - his own bone - traveling over his skin and nerves but the feeling had become somewhat distant. He averted his eyes from the one above him and looked at the dead black being. Feebly Albel extended his hand towards the dead body, but of course it did not respond. Albel had no longer strength to resist his fate... Had he ever had strength to resist his Fayt...?

"Did you not wish this yourself? Did you not wish to kill Fayt and the Embodiment of Destruction?"

The bony sword penetrated the bone of Albel's skull destroying his brains.

"You are the one who wished for his death. You are the one... who wished for a person like me... Albel Nox..."

*****

The scream that pierced the still, silent night air was full of agony, denial and loss. Its sharpness was in the form of utter terror and horror from the pain that rose from the depths of one's own soul, from the realization that something very dear, cherished had been killed, murdered by one's own carelessness and stupidity. It was a scream that told of lost innocence and trust that a human being had when dealing with the human's own soul and mind because there was no person that did no shudder when one found out what kind of things one was pondering deep down, hidden even from the own consciousness.

Albel Nox was terrified. He felt like his heart was trying to pound its way out of his chest to abandon this wretched demon pretending to be a human. Albel Nox was terrified. He had always known that he was nowhere near being a pleasant, understanding person, that others' pain, agony and distress filled him with certain satisfaction. But he had never thought... that he was... that he wished to turn Fayt Leingod into an even more horrid demon than Albel himself was...

Albel's mind was shattered. He heard a voice talking, but he did not understand the words or recognize the soothing voice. He felt a touch, but instinctively recoiled away from the hand that was like ice and fire over his skin. Albel screamed again to cover the icy laughter echoing in his ears. All the muscles in his small body spasmed before he simply froze and became unresponsive.

Albel Nox, Albel the Wicked... He... His mind and soul were shattered by the most unlikely person. Albel Nox's mind and soul were shattered by himself and it happened because of himself. He always wished for death to himself... but in *that* way?!

Albel Nox... no matter how he tried now and had tried when his father had died... was not a person who was dishonest to himself. He could not lie that it had not been him that had wished for it. It had been *him* who had wished for the disappearance of 'Fayt' and 'Destroyer'. Not even once had he in his dream world admitted that it was not so that 'fate' and 'destroy' had brought only bad things. Even now Albel was able to sense, feel the warm presence of the blue-haired Earthling beside him.

The real Fayt Leingod, the leader, the friend.

Fayt was concerned about Albel. For a long time now he had known of the Elicoorian male's nightmares, but this was the very first time something like this happened. The first rejection of touch had hurt badly, but then Fayt had realized that most likely Albel was still trapped inside the dream world of his own. And indeed the second touch was not rejected. Fayt got a little bit more concerned when he noticed the entirely glassed over crimson eyes of the child-formed friend of his. It calmed him at least some, when Albel subconsciously sought for the warmth of the Earthling's body.

Fayt knew that there really was nothing he could do for Albel except be there for him. He stood up and pulled a dark robe on. He searched a warm blanket and kneeled over Albel to wrap him into the blanket.

Albel did not know how long it took before he was able to control himself perfectly once again. The first thing he saw was a black-robed Fayt Leingod over him. The other one's touch was gentle and soothing. Albel raised his hand to tug a bright-blue lock of hair to tell his leader that he was awake.

The sharp tug surprised Fayt, but it really did not hurt. He smiled to the ruby-eyes and finished his blanket-wrapping. He pulled Albel into his embrace and found his way to the door of the room. "The air of this room is too heavy and stagnant to be good for you. Let's take a stroll outside. It's a beautiful night", he offered with smile before leaving their room in the inn behind them.

Albel did not say a word. He really did not care. He did not want to fall into sleep again and he hoped that the cool night air would keep him awake. But somehow he doubted the possibility of not sleeping. The emerald-eyed swordsman's embrace was very warm and oddly safe.

Both males were amazed when they stepped out of the inn and noticed the mist that turned the empty streets of the capital of Aquaria into an ethereal world of dreams. But in this dream world of the reality, Albel felt no traps of his own mind. It felt some kind of pilgrimage for both of them as they journeyed through the damp streets where no sound followed their steps.

Under the palest moonlight, pulsating stars inside the rising night mist, Fayt Leingod walked clothed on a long robe with sleeves so wide that they gently swept the cobble stones of the streets of Aquios, Albel Nox securely in his embrace. If someone would have seen them it would have been impossible to tell that there were two of them and the real color of the robe because the moonlight and the mist faded away all the colors and shapes leaving only black and white and shade. Because of the mist Fayt seemed rather gliding over the streets than walking on the stones of the streets. He was carrying Albel in its arms, protecting the bundle of black like it would have meant his entire life. Like he would have carried his soul in that darkness on his embrace.

Albel shifted and did not notice when his two hair-tails, which looked in moonlight like black-and-white ropes, fell out of the blanket. The hair-tails swung and twisted against Fayt's robe like living creatures. Albel wanted to stay awake, but tired by the earlier nightmare and feeling safe in the arms of the black Fayt, he fell asleep. His small hand fell out of the blanket and it swung back and forth unconsciously.

Fayt smiled when he noticed that his precious bundle was sleeping peacefully. He was glad that his presence was the only thing needed to calm down the 24-year-old swordsman. Fayt decided to take his time and enjoy the lonely nighttime. The air was suddenly filled with thousands of sounds emphasized by the sheer silence of the night and the moist mist encircling everything in the city. The swish of the robe against skin, the stones. The murmur rising from the throat whispering unformed sound against the black bundle. The heavy, metallic cling of a chain floating everywhere around Fayt and Albel. The hiss of pain. The pitter patter of the feet against the wet street.

As Fayt observed his surroundings he noticed that the swirling mist made him strangely appear as if he was fading in and out of reality, when he continued on without straying from his steady pace. He wondered if it had something to do with his destruction-gene... Fayt looked up to the sky as a hazy cloud flowed in front of the moon. The night took one level darker shade. The shine of the stars seemed to come down from the heavens to decorate his misty cloak as diamonds, like honoring the Fallen Lord of Destruction walking among the mortals.

Fayt continued onward and he did not stop until he reached a park inside the city walls. He sat on the bench on the park and sat there watching the moon traveling across the night sky. He did not returned to the inn before he saw the first rays of the rising sun.

During all that time Fayt never ceased stroking Albel's hair, cuddling the smaller one against his body and whispering words of friendships, forgiveness and tales of lovers, adventures. He had no answers for whatever worried the Elicoorian Captain inside the dream world of his. There was nothing else he could do for Albel, but to be there.

TBC...

*****

Author's Note 2: I blame the summer holiday and waking up 5:00 am every morning to work. This fiction it getting reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeally strange inside my head. And dear God, my review-answers were long... ^___^;; Sorry about that for those who are not interested of them.

I really love your reviews! They help me to go on when I have doubts about continuing this fiction or any other fiction. So please review. Tell me what you like or hate in this little story. I accept everything you have to say no matter how little it is, but please no flaming about homosexuality. If you are reading this fiction and not accepting gayness as something natural and acceptable, I *really* am wondering *why* you are reading this fiction. Thank you for listening my ranting.

// 11 pages in Word
// 8 292 words