The Renegade Adored

Kaidan: "And all that's best of dark and bright" (Byron)

"Pressly!" Kaidan shouted. "I know this was you!"
Navigator Pressly chuckled to himself. "Why, I'm sure I don't know what you're talking about, Lieutenant."
Two of the nearby technicians laughed, and Kaidan glared at them as well.
Hayden was about to ask, but her terminal alerted her to a new urgent message. She pulled up her messaging console. "What the hell is a Form LV-2?"
"That's the standard 'Declaration of Intent,' Commander. Spacer papers."
Hayden stared at Pressly. "What?"
"You know," said Pressly slyly. "For military marriages and so forth."
Kaidan turned swiftly, not sure how she would react, and was shocked to see her blushing bright, bright red.
"Soo, Commander," Pressly continued, "how would you describe your attraction to Lt. Alenko? Would it be a) passionate b) companionate or c) idolatrous?"
"Excuse me," said Hayden, and ran off the bridge.
"Alenko picked 'c,' by the way!" Pressly called after her.
"Pressly!" Kaidan shouted again. He closed his messaging console and ran after Hayden.
"XO Pressly has the bridge," Pressly smirked. "Hey Alenko, she picked 'c' too! Not much of a shock there."
Kaidan stopped. "Wait, what?"
"The form auto-updates, Alenko. She picked 'c.' What are you standing here for, man? Go after her!"
"Yeah," chimed in one of the technicians, "and be sure to close the door this time!"
Kaidan felt his cheeks warm and was glad that his darker tone wouldn't show his blushing. He ran down the stairs, to Hayden's cabin. The room was dark when he entered, and he didn't see her at first.
"It's a joke, right? They're not mad?" she asked nervously.
Kaidan laughed, joined her where she was hiding in the corner. "Yes, they did it as a joke. It's actually a real form, though. No one ever reads it, but they send you a copy if you actually do get married."
Hayden snuggled into his arms. "I wasn't sure if they were mad or not. Is the door closed?" she asked suddenly.
Kaidan laughed again, "Yes, it's closed." He kissed her on the cheek. "Everyone likes seeing a happy couple, Hayden. They're just blowing off steam."
"And you're not mad?"
"Why would I be mad?" he asked, amused.
"I don't know, maybe you didn't want people to know...." her voice trailed off as he pulled her even closer.
"Hayden, seriously? Do you just want to hear me say that I'm different again?"
"Sorry, I just... I don't know."
"Yes, I'm different. I'm wildly, madly in love with you and I want the whole galaxy to know it. I'm insanely jealous of all the people you waste time thinking about when you could be thinking about more ways to kiss me."
Hayden giggled. "Wait, what do you mean, more ways to kiss you?"
"Let me demonstrate," Kaidan murmured, and bent his head to kiss her softly on the lips. He pulled her closer to him, she wrapped her arms around him. He smiled suddenly, unable to believe that he had really been given such a wonderful gift as Hayden's love. He kissed her again, felt her small hands tugging at his shirt. Kaidan smiled into the kiss, moved his arms so she could pull it off. He broke the kiss just long enough to get the shirt over his head, and pulled her back into his arms as soon as he could. Her hands moved over his back, playing with the outline of his muscles, running over his spine, pulling him as close as she could.
"Do I have to tell you every time I want you?"
He smiled. "For now, yes. We wouldn't want any mixed signals, would we?" He met her eyes, watched her hunger.
She blushed, shy with unfamiliar need. "Want you," she said quickly. "Please."
"You don't have to beg," he kissed her again, "just let me know. I don't want to make you uncomfortable. I love you, and I don't want you to think you have to do anything to please me." Kaidan grinned. "Although, I really like having sex with you. Just to be clear." Kaidan picked her up, making her laugh joyously, and wrapped her legs around him. Kissed her again, grinding his hardness against her, his hands on her hips. "You just worry me sometimes, that's all."
He was acutely conscious of her smallness as he held her. She put her arms around his neck, pressed herself against him. "You're not hurting me, don't worry about that."
He kissed her face, "If it's all the same to you, I'm going to worry about it anyway."
She laughed, and laid her head on his shoulder, ran her hands down his sides. Played with the fastenings on his pants. "Want you," she said again. "I want you, Kaidan."
He kissed her again, hungrily, and carried her over to the bed.
She pulled off her clothes, threw them aside, while he kissed her again and again, and worked off the rest of his clothes. He lay down on the bed next to her, and she eagerly pulled him closer.
With a grin, Kaidan shifted so he was lying on his back beneath her. Hayden giggled a bit nervously, bit her lip. He put his hands gently on her hips, and guided her back. "Take your time."
She carefully raised herself a little, moved herself so that he just entered her body. She gasped, smiled, slowly worked her hips back and forth, up and down.
Kaidan moaned in appreciation, but didn’t interrupt her. Let her play, let her explore. He knew this was all new territory to her. He hissed sharply as she sank all the way down, drew herself back up again with a wickedly excited smile.
"This is so good," she whispered. "So good!"
Kaidan smiled up at her, watched the joy and pleasure on her face. It didn’t take long before her need overcame her sense of playfulness. She pulled his hands back up to her hips, leaned forward slightly, bracing herself on his broad chest. Panting, they began to move together.
Kaidan sat up, spread her legs a little farther so they could sit together. He kissed her again, wrapped his arms around her while he pounded his rhythm into her. Hayden shrieked a little, buried her face in his neck, wrapped her arms and legs around him as well.
"Harder," she whimpered. She could tell he was holding back, and it drove her insane with desire. She wanted to see him lose control, she wanted to feel him wild and dark inside her.
Kaidan stroked her back, kissed her face, but didn’t give her what she wanted. Instead, he skillfully brought her to climax, caressed her breasts, kissed her face, let her sink shuddering into his arms.
He kissed her again, and lay back with a sigh, still holding her in his arms.
"Are you asleep?" Hayden whispered.
Kaidan stirred sleepily, but didn't answer or open his eyes.
She kissed him nervously on the cheek, and he drowsily moved his hand, pulling her closer.
"I've never been in love before," she went on, still whispering so quietly he could barely hear her. "I've never had a real friend, either. And now I have you, and I have Garrus, and my crew isn't plotting to vent my room." She laughed shakily, and Kaidan realized she wasn't making a joke, she was remembering something that had actually happened. "And it's all because of you, you know that right?" She kissed him again, to make sure he was still asleep. "It's like I'm a real person, a whole one, not just scattered bits and pieces just stuck together. And it's you. You're what I was missing." She kissed him, pressed her face to his. Her voice was shaking, quiet. "I love you, Kaidan. I love you, and you're going to hate me someday, I know you will. Everyone does. I'll do something wrong, and all this will be gone forever."
He couldn't keep pretending to be asleep at that, and stirred, not opening his eyes just yet. Ran his hands over her body, her hair. She kissed him, and he turned his head to her lips, kissing her back. "Hello there," he murmured, opening his eyes.
"Hi!" she said brightly, her calmness forced and jarring. Her eyes were unnaturally wide, as if she was holding back tears.
Kaidan sat up a little. "Are you all right?"
"I'm fine," she said softly. "Really. I didn't mean to wake you up."
Kaidan grinned. "Ah, so you were kissing me in my sleep for no reason?"
She blushed and looked down. "You're cute when you're asleep."
"I thought maybe you wanted to tell me something."
"Noo," she said uncertainly. "I just... wanted to kiss you."
Kaidan smiled, a warm and comforting smile. "I can go back to sleep if you like. Or we could do something else that involves kissing."
"That sounds nice!"
"Nice," he laughed. "Okay," he kissed her again, turned her so she was lying on her back, and started his way down her body, kissing her chin, trailing his tongue down the side of her neck, kissing her shoulders, sliding his tongue over her breasts. She gasped, moaned, dug her fingers into his hair.
"Oh, Kaidan, you're not going to, you don't have to," the words were lost in a short scream as his mouth touched her in a soft kiss, gentle at first, then more fiercely, licking away the traces of their earlier lovemaking, tasting her, touching her.
He couldn't help himself, and made a small noise of appreciation, felt her quiver under his tongue. He draped her legs over his shoulders, buried his face between her legs, working his tongue inside her, over her clit, listening to her cry out in passion. He kissed her clitoris, swirled his tongue over her swollen, wet lips. She gasped his name, thrust herself against him. He gently held her in place, moved his tongue all over her while she came, shuddering, beneath him. He slid his tongue over her wetness one last time before he pulled away, sat up. He licked his lips, wiped his face clean and looked at her.
Hayden was lying on the bed, flushed, her eyes closed. She reached out to him, pulled him down to her. "Please, Kaidan," she said softly, "one more time. I want you inside me."
Kaidan smiled, kissed her neck. Already warm and wet, he entered her easily this time. She whimpered slightly, but pulled him close and wouldn't let him slow down. Her fingers dug into his back, marking him. He panted, trying to control himself, trying to pace himself against the warmth and tightness of Hayden's body. She wrapped her legs around him, rocked her hips so he could get deeper inside her, thrust back against him. "Hayden," he groaned, trying to find the words to tell her that she was ruining his rhythm, but knowing that she was doing it deliberately, knowing that she wanted him to lose control, that she wanted to see him wild and passionate and dark.
He felt her shiver beneath him, a slight ripple of her muscles, the first sign of an impending orgasm. Kaidan couldn't help it, he wanted her so badly, wanted to hear her screaming his name. He shifted, put one hand on her shoulder, the other lifting her hips, holding her close so he could thrust himself harder and harder into her. Hayden threw her head back, gasping as he drew himself out almost all the way, then entered her again. He kissed her throat, tasting her pulse, feeling her quiver and shake in his arms. He lost control, thrust wildly into her, driving into her closeness and felt her muscles clench tightly around him. Kaidan cried out, ground himself against her, and she screamed in response, arching up to meet him, her legs locked behind him and her fingers scarring his back. He whispered her name again, kissed her lips as he came, mingling his wetness with her own.
Kaidan took a few deep breaths before kissing her again, and rolled onto his back so that she could lie comfortably on him.
Hayden snuggled happily into his arms, kept him inside her.
"Did I hurt you?"
Hayden laughed. "No, don't be silly. Did I hurt you?" she asked mockingly.
"Were you trying to write your name on my back or something?" Kaidan sat up a little, looked at her shoulder. "I think I was a little rough there, you have bruises."
She kissed his cheek. "They're pretty," she giggled.
Kaidan kissed her back. "You know, that's not actually necessary," he murmured against her lips. "I don't really like losing control."
"I like your strength," she said sweetly. "I like your power. Why are you afraid of hurting me?" Her eyes darkened slightly. "Even at your strongest, wildest moments, Kaidan, you're not nearly strong enough to hurt me. I can stop you anytime I want to." Hayden held her breath, wondering how he would react.
"Are you sure?" he asked seriously.
She smiled sweetly. "Yes, I'm sure. I promise, I won't do it too often, but it is very, very nice sometimes."
"Nice," he repeated, laughing. "I don't think that's the right word for it. But no," he thought about it for a moment and smiled. "I guess it is."