Parallax

A/n: It’s been too long since I updated last. I’ve finally moved to another apartment, so hopefully I’ll be more in the mood to write. Unfortunately, this damn headache I’ve got tonight has prevented me from writing more, so you’re getting a chapter that’s 500 words shorter than normal. I think that’s okay, right? O.o


Also, if you’re on the Bioware Social site, you should join the group, “Ashley, Kaidan, and Liara fans unite here!”

You need an ID to get started. Create an account if you don't have one, then click the 'groups' tab on the top. Our group is on the first page of the 'most viewed' list. We'd love to have more people join to discuss Ashley/Kaidan/Liara with us! :)


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There was a reason that Kaidan never used large doses of narcotics to treat his migraines.

He knew that if just once, he had the immediate euphoria from meds after being tortured by the pounding of his head, he would want it again. So he always made sure that the doctors oversaw his dosage and that they gave him just enough to take the edge off of the pain.

But what was the point? Thanks to Shepard accidentally overdosing them on meds to treat their hangovers, he’d had a taste of the forbidden fruit.

Kaidan’s older L2 implants were painful at times, and only the hardest mental training had steeled him against the inevitable pain they were to cause him. One thing was for certain:

The pain would always return.

But at the same time, the Lieutenant’s implants made him who he was. He was a powerful biotic, for human standards. And part of him knew that was why he was alive and Ashley Williams wasn’t.

Sometimes he resented that he was ‘useful’. He was a tool, as was the rest of the Alliance. Shepard had talked him into reason long ago. In her words, the Council had buried their heads in the sand while Saren rolled over the Terminus systems with an army of geth. After how the Council treated his Commander, his belief in them waned, as did his faith in the Alliance, the system, the man, and even some of the regs.

For the second time in his life, his extreme self control had slipped. The pain had to go away; it could not be minimized. He hated himself for his weakness.

Kaidan’s self-loathing led him to Shepard’s door.

The normally melodic door chime was shrill to the migraine-addled Lieutenant. He didn’t know what he’d say to Shepard. After all, she’d caught him listening in on her shower, a pair of her panties in his hand.

A blast of cold air from the opening door momentarily relieved Kaidan. Following the initial blast, the consistent coolness of Shepard’s quarters washed over him, followed by a pungent odor.

“Came to see little old me, did you?” Shepard cooed. The smell came from Shepard’s direction, specifically from the space monkey perched on her shoulders.

Kaidan stared, perplexed. Wasn’t that monkey dead? And why was it on the Normandy?

“I know! I thought he was dead too!” the Commander exclaimed and ushered the Lieutenant into her quarters. “I caught him watching me in the shower. I shit you not.” She walked off toward her console and continued to talk about the monkey.

Kaidan furrowed his brow, wondering how the woman managed to read his mind. He winced as another wave of pain made his head throb unbearably. And Shepard continued to chatter quickly; she was in an extremely good mood.

“You’re rather quiet today,” Shepard turned around to look at him. Her eyes widened. The Commander skittered over to her Lieutenant and reached up to apply pressure to both of his temples.

“Make it stop,” Kaidan whispered, his voice sounding pathetic to his own ears.

Shepard’s hands dropped to his waist and pulled him in for a tight hug. The Lieutenant leaned his aching head down to nestle his face into her dark hair. He inhaled deeply, expecting the clean, musky smell that was unique to Shepard.

Kaidan smelled the rankness of the never-bathed space monkey instead.

He cringed and let out a displeased groan. And as Shepard stepped back from him, Kaidan greedily inhaled the slightly fresher air. Her gentle hands guided him to a nearby chair and pushed him to sit. Kaidan closed his eyes, trying his best to shield himself from the lights of the ship. A stinky shadow passed over him and he felt Shepard gently kiss him on the forehead and run her hand through his hair.

“I’ll be back,” she whispered.

The plunk of her boots on the ship’s metal flooring signaled her departure. Kaidan swiveled slightly in his chair to face the small table in Shepard’s quarters. Leaning forward, he placed the side of his face against the cool metal and wrapped his arms around his head, shielding his eyes from as much light as possible. The Lieutenant had no idea how long he lay there in the cool silence until the doors opened once again.

“So Lieutenant, I take it that you’re willing to have a normal dose of medication for your migraine this time?” came the voice of Dr. Chakwas.

Kaidan made no indication that he’d heard the Doctor.

“Has this migraine made you throw up yet?” Chakwas inquired.

The Lieutenant’s hands popped up from the table, indicating the number seven. He made no move to lift his head from the table.

“Hm, that’s about four more than normal,” the Doctor mumbled. “On a scale of one to ten, ten being among one of your worst migraines ever, how would you rate this one?”

Kaidan raised his middle finger.

“Give him as much shit as you can without making him sicker,” Shepard murmured, “he never does that.”

The Lieutenant’s arm fell to the table in a position to receive the injection. Yet he felt no alcohol swab on his arm. He almost lifted his head to see what the holdup was, but Shepard’s voice cut through his confusion.

“I don’t care,” she hissed, “get him higher than a fucking cow grazing in the middle of a weed crop. I’ll babysit him if I have to.”

Kaidan thumped his arm against the table insistently. He wanted relief, at any cost.

The long-awaited alcohol swab made contact with his arm. Soon afterward, a needle pierced his skin and the burning medicine flowed into his veins. And even as Dr. Chakwas gently bandaged the injection site, the Lieutenant kept his head down.

Part of him was ashamed.

“You may want to keep him out of sight for a few hours, Commander,” the Doctor sighed.

Kaidan didn’t lift his head until he was sure that Dr. Chakwas had left the room. Shepard’s hands grabbed his shoulders and slowly spun him around to face her.

The medicine began to take effect and the bottom dropped out of his world.

He was looking at the most beautiful woman that had ever lived. Her skin was so pale; her eyes were the greenest and loveliest of all greens. Kaidan had the urge to giggle. Marines didn’t giggle, dammit.

“Well, you’re looking mighty happy,” Shepard chuckled, “Care to share what’s gotten your interest?”

She touched his arm and his nerves exploded in rapture. Kaidan shook his head vehemently, untrusting of what he would say to the woman in front of him.

“I’ll get it out of you sometime,” the Commander cooed, “just wait and see.”

Immediately, Kaidan’s thoughts traveled south. His eyes perused her form and he wished that he could will away her clothes with his stare alone. Maybe his biotics could be employed in this manner.

But the damn monkey had to lean over Shepard’s shoulders and wave its putrid hand in front of his eyes.

“Your monkey stinks,” Kaidan cringed and wedged himself as far back into the seat as was physically possible.

“Simon,” the Commander gently corrected. She removed the protesting animal from her shoulders, smelled her uniform, and cringed.

“Does my hair smell bad too?” she asked, leaning in to the drugged Lieutenant.

His response was a grunt and a turn of the head.

“Shit,” Shepard stamped her foot, “this is my last clean uniform too. I’ll have to take another shower.” She sighed and ran a hand through her hair in frustration. “Okay, I’m going to shower and give Simon a bath. Don’t leave the room,” the Commander ordered, placing a kiss on his cheek.

Kaidan nodded mutely and watched Shepard gather some clothes to change into after her shower. She scooped up the monkey and disappeared into the bathroom.

Now what was he going to do?

He looked around the Commander’s quarters with his new sight. By the bedside, Kaidan noticed a series of drawers. He recalled Shepard’s comment about not having a clean uniform to wear; it was nonsensical. Surely the woman had a clean uniform hiding somewhere in one of the drawers.

Kaidan would find it. Shepard would reward him. Would she give him a medal? Would she show him her boobs? Or, would she allow him to meddle with her boobs?

The Lieutenant stood and stumbled toward the bedside drawers. He reached out to the metal handle, receiving a static shock.

“Now you better cooperate with me,” he scolded.

Kaidan smiled when the drawer complied. Rummaging through the drawer’s contents, he soon found himself in a panty wonderland. Maybe there was a uniform crammed in the back of the drawer. It made perfect sense to the medicated Lieutenant.

A clinking noise made him stop.

“Could be a belt buckle,” he mumbled.

Kaidan reached into the back recesses of the drawer and grabbed the object that made the noise. He blinked when he withdrew it.

The object was made glass and contained blue and green spirals, much like those of a marble. Its form was long and thin. Near one end, the object curved slightly. The other end was considerably larger than the rest of the object. It appeared that it was meant to be held by the large end.

Realization washed over the Lieutenant; the object was a glass dildo.

He glanced over at the bathroom door and grinned as he placed the dildo back into the dark recesses of the drawer.

“She won’t need you when I’m done with her,” he chuckled as he took a last look at it before shutting the drawer.

Kaidan turned from the drawer and sighed. He was all talk; he’d never been able to have his way with Shepard. He’d always stopped before they had a chance to have sex. Or, something would interrupt them. It was completely unfair.

In that moment, the Lieutenant steeled his resolve. He would have Shepard that very day and she would like it.

He was brought out of his thoughts by the chime that announced company at the door. Rising to his feet, Kaidan stumbled toward the person waiting outside. The Lieutenant’s hand smacked the button and the door slid open to reveal a saluting Murray.

“Sir, Vakarian would like to speak with the Commander,” the Corporal informed.

Kaidan turned to look toward the bathroom. He knew he was told to stay in the room, but he was sure he could handle this.

“Oooo,” Shepard’s voice drifted out of the shower, “you’re such a naughty boy. I’m going to have to punish you when I get out.”

Kaidan’s gaze drifted back to a blushing Murray. He shrugged, knowing that the Corporal had the wrong impression of his relationship with the Commander.

“I’ll see what’s going on,” Kaidan nodded at Murray and motioned him to follow.

The elevator ride was filled with silence. Murray tried his best to not sneak glances at his superior officer, but ultimately failed. Kaidan felt the Corporal’s eyes on him and sighed. He motioned the younger man to speak.

“Sir,” Murray said, “I don’t want to speak out of turn, but…” He hesitated when his eyes met the Lieutenant’s obviously drugged ones. “Are you high?”

“Why do you ask?” Kaidan sighed, “I had one of the worst migraines of my life. Does that make me look weak to you? Am I unfit for command?”

The Corporal’s eyes widened and Kaidan fought the urge to sigh again. He knew that taking the high dose of meds would cause problems. He knew he should have stayed in Shepard’s quarters. He knew lots of things, and he knew that if he thought about it just enough, he could still feel a small amount of pain through the meds’ tingly haze.

“No Sir,” Murray’s voice brought him out of his thoughts. “You rarely take medication for your headaches and I was surprised to see you taking the time to do this for the Commander. I meant no disrespect, Sir.”

“So, what do they say about me then?” Kaidan asked.

He almost grinned when Murray shifted uncomfortably. Now the Lieutenant had to know the rumors. He looked over at the red faced Corporal.

“Come on,” he chuckled, “I’m high. What’s the worst that can happen?”

“Sir, the fact that you could win a fight with just your mind is a bit intimidating,” Murray replied. He sighed when his superior shot him a pointed look. “Well, everyone thinks that you and the Commander are quite ummm…” the Corporal paused to find the proper word, “active.”

Kaidan let out a short, sharp bark of laughter, causing Murray to jump. The elevator opened before either could finish the awkward conversation. Dismissing Murray with a quick nod and grunt, the Lieutenant trudged over to a waiting Garrus.

“Shepard’s busy. Was there something you needed?” Kaidan asked.

The turian looked up from the Mako’s diagnostic terminal and met the Lieutenant’s gaze with an exasperated sigh. He glanced back at the screen and sighed once more.

“Lieutenant,” Garrus shook his head, “I’d appreciate it if the Mako returned unscathed the next time you take it planetside.”

“It came back fine after Noveria,” Kaidan smiled. He fought the urge to chuckle when he realized that Garrus’ eyes resembled those of his mom’s ragdoll cat.

Unlike Garrus, that cat was an asshole.

“That was one time,” the turian laughed, oblivious to the Lieutenant’s wandering mind, “just make sure that if you’re going to have fun like that to invite me along. The trip makes the tire repairs worth the effort.”

“So, was there anything else you needed?” the Lieutenant asked. He blinked a few times as his vision blurred in and out of focus.

“No, that was it,” Garrus replied, “just a request that you please not pop the Mako’s tires.”

Kaidan shook his head in understanding then began his walk to the elevator. He paused at Ash’s old station and gave it a nod and a quick “Chief” before entering the impossibly slow elevator. The Lieutenant watched the tiles on the side of the shaft creep by, and for a moment it made him wonder if the tiles were moving and the elevator wasn’t. Certainly the Normandy wasn’t as tall as the elevator shaft appeared.

Perhaps the elevator was a prank.

And as the door slid open, Kaidan realized it was his duty to inform the Commander of his revelation. He strode to Shepard’s quarters with purpose. Once the doors closed behind him, Kaidan sat down at the small table. His eyes wandered about the room as he waited for Shepard to get out of the shower so he could share his theory.

The room began to spin and Kaidan found his eyes unable to focus on anything. Eventually, the Lieutenant put his head in his hands. An oppressive weight settled over his eyelids as he tried to fight the medication’s exhausting effects.

Kaidan lost the battle and drifted off to sleep.