Cross Blades

Cross Blades

Chapter the Eleventh: N’tho’s Seduction


Sangheili Blademaster Usze ‘Taham woke up alone on the pile of pillows and shivered, terrified by what he’d done.

He could feel the strange sticky sensation between his thighs, and a deep, slow ache inside himself. He was still covered in sweat, fouling the pillows beneath him. And he…

He gritted his mandibles. He’d made an embarrassment of himself.

And Nitro was gone.

Usze felt his throat go dry and his stomach turn over. This was how it worked in Spec Ops, wasn’t it? Survive the mission, have your fun, and then… Nitro had woken up, cleaned up, armoured up, and he was likely out with the Humans right now, or maybe sending a message to Rtas ‘Vadum with the help of the Humans’ Slipspace satellites. Nitro was probably smug and pleased with himself.

Usze was here, alone, with the wreckage.

He wound himself into a little ball, whimpering. There was no reason to hide it now. Nitro had cracked him, exposing his insecurities; there was no use in pretending he was anywhere near a Perfect Warrior.

‘Taham heard the sound of a door opening, followed by a sharp intake of breath. The next thing he knew, N’tho was kneeling beside the pillows, stroking him. “Uzi…good morning, handsome.”

Usze shut his eyes. Nitro was licking his cheek, and it was just more than he could take. He put his arms around the other warrior and pulled him close.

N’tho smelled sweet, and his hide was damp. Usze realized that N’tho must have just come out of the tub.

“Hey, there,” N’tho murmured. “You okay?”

“I thought…I thought you’d left.” It sounded pathetic to Usze’s ears.

“Nah. Just cleaning up. You want to join me?”

Usze wanted nothing more. He nodded, mutely.

Nitro bent over to pick him up, but Usze put his hand on the other warrior’s chest and gently pushed him clear. He was not so helpless as to need to be carried. He felt tender, but not in pain.

N’tho was still watching him, his visible eye shimmering, and Usze realized that ‘Sraom might have misunderstood that shove. Usze reached out his hand and N’tho, smiling shyly, took it.

By the Ancestors, the water felt good. N’tho sat down next to him, still regarding him carefully. “How are you doing?” ‘Sraom asked awkwardly.

“Fine,” Usze replied, and then there was a long silence. It stretched until N’tho’s finger moved against Uzi’s palm and Usze realized they were still holding hands.

“Can I…give you a wash?”

It sounded as though Nitro was being gracious, but Usze could not pretend any longer. “That was pathetic,” he said, his voice full of self-disgust.

N’tho recoiled, throwing Usze’s hand away. “If I was that bad, why didn’t you…”

Oh, condemnation, Nitro was taking it all wrong! Usze lunged, seizing his mate’s shoulders. “Not you, me. You…you’re breathtaking.”

“So you liked?” N’tho sounded nervous.

“Yes.”

Nitro grinned and wrapped his arms around him. Usze realized that his lunge had him leaning over the other Sangheili. He sighed and let N’tho pull him onto his lap.

N’tho nuzzled him. “I don’t think you’re pathetic at all.”

Usze peered at him skeptically. “I was mewling for you like a hatchling for its mother. What you did to me…I felt that my hide was on fire, that my desire was the only thing in the universe. That I needed you inside me or I’d die.” He shook his head. “And after…when I realized what I’d done…how I’d grovelled for you….”

“I just wanted to please you.”

“By the Forerunners, you’re an absolute menace.” He shook his head—no wonder the Ascetics rarely mated! It was far too easy to be an absolute fool for your partner.

“Uzi,” Nitro whispered, then corrected himself. “Er, Usze.”

The Blademaster felt his mandibles quivering as he said, “You can call me Uzi…I don’t mind…not when it’s just the two of us…”

N’tho nuzzled up to him. “It was an honour, Usze.”

Usze quivered. “If you tell anyone…”

“I won’t.” He licked Usze’s cheek. “I promise.”

“I won’t take your sword.”

N’tho blinked. “It’s not a bribe, Uzi. I won’t hurt you. I won’t tell, no matter what you do.”

“And I won’t take your sword. What I saw on the Halo…if all of SpecOps is like you, the Brutes don’t stand a chance.”

N’tho laughed. “Let’s hope not.” He reached over, retrieved the soap and started to scrub his mate’s shoulders. “You really are tense,” N’tho murmured, dancing his fingers over Usze’s shoulder and the little hollow between his shoulder and his neck.

Usze felt a groan building up in his throat. Reflexively, he bit it down—hiding outward displays of emotion was just habit—but his attempt was only partially successful as a soft moan escaped between his mandibles.

And N’tho heard it. Usze knew he did, because he laid his head on Usze’s shoulder and kept right on doing that, then slipped his hand around to the back of Usze’s neck, letting his caress seek out Usze’s sweet spot...

Usze squinted his eyes shut and gritted his teeth, but his next moan was louder anyway.

“Don’t hide it,” N’tho whispered. “Please. I like to know when I’m doing what you like.”

“The problem,” Usze panted, “is that I seem to like everything you do…” He liked having his back scratched by Nitro’s claws. He liked when Nitro touched his ribs so lightly that he squirmed when it tickled. He liked the comforting feeling he got when Nitro rubbed his belly in soothing circles. And he liked when…

He gasped. No, he loved when Nitro touched him there, gripping him in both hands, making him ready to mate in the blink of an eye. Why, when he’d often struggled to get himself in the proper mood for mating with a wide assortment of well-bred females, was he permanently turned on by a slutty Minor Domo?

Stop thinking about him that way. He saved your life. He almost lost his own doing it. He’s not just a slut. He’s your hero.

For now, anyway.

Usze turned his attention away from these dark thoughts and back to Nitro’s caresses. He had to get his fill of Nitro while he had the chance….and by the Rings, was it nice…

“Can it be my turn?” N’tho asked shyly.

“Your turn to…?”

“Be on the bottom,” Nitro whispered, nuzzling his mandibles under Usze’s. “I’m not being too forward, am I?”

Usze choked. “After that recent performance…I deserve your overtures, don’t I?” He turned his head away.

N’tho nudged him with his muzzle. “What’s wrong? Why are you ashamed? You were so happy …weren’t you?” Nitro sucked in air. “Did you really not like it?”

Uzi laughed hollowly. “I think if I said no, it would be clear that I was lying.”

“Do you not like…me?”

Uzi shook his head. “I like you too much.”

N’tho nestled close. “What do you mean, too much?” He bunted Usze’s lower jaws. “It’s nice to be wanted.” Nitro ducked his head. “In that river on the Ark, before those others showed up…I wanted to tell you…it’s you I like…a lot.”

Uzi felt a sudden relief at the chance to change the subject.. He couldn’t deal with how Nitro made him feel outside of bed, not right now. Better to investigate how Nitro felt about him… “I thought you’d figured out who I was and came into the river to tease me and make me feel stupid.”

“I had figured out who you were,” Nitro confessed, “but I meant every word of what I said. I guess…” He swallowed. “It was easier to tell you when you were pretending to be ‘Sumai, because the way you usually are, with the helmet and the icy cool and everything, well, all you’d have to do is call me a blabbering idiot and it’d just crush me, you know, the way you can make someone feel like dirt with just a word and a look….”

Usze felt awful. The thrill he used to get from cutting others down was ashes now. What was the point of being better than everyone else when you were always alone? He really had been a jerk, he saw it now, and besides…the thrills he got from Nitro were so much better.

“I’d like to see if I can make you feel like mating with me with just a word and a look,” he murmured, his voice low. He had to take control of this situation…had to…or he’d end up broken again, on his knees, begging for Nitro. Again.

“Uzi,” N’tho whispered, “all I have to do is watch you and I get weak in the knees…the way you move…I used to wonder what it would be like to feel you touch me with that exacting precision, that flowing grace…” He shivered, his body showing just how aroused he was at the thought. “And now I guess I know, and Uzi, my fantasies didn’t even begin to do you justice.”

Usze felt a glowing pride at N’tho’s words.

N’tho swallowed. “Can I make a request?” the Minor Domo asked.

Usze felt a brief flash of irritation. He wasn’t used to being asked to concede for others. But he also knew how far Nitro had come, to ask him for something without feeling the need to beg…or to hold silent.

“Proceed.”

“Can we…” He nudged Uzi with his muzzle. “Last night, in front of the mirror…can we…do it there?”

Usze remembered what Nitro had said: you can watch.

“I think I have a better idea,” Usze murmured.

“Uzi, please…I need to know it’s you,” ‘Sraom said, his unbandaged eye staring intently into Usze’s. “When we’re…I need to know it’s you inside me. Not someone else. You. Please, I…”

The Blademaster cut him off. “Trust me,” he whispered in the SpecOps warrior’s earbud. “Towel off and go to the bed.”

They got out of the tub in silence. Usze found himself trembling with anticipation. Nitro still seemed uncertain as he toweled himself off and approached the bed, then hesitated, bending his knees….

“No,” Usze said gently. “In the bed.”

“In the bed?” ‘Sraom looked confused now, but did as he was told, taking position on all fours in the middle of the bed.

Usze nudged his side with his muzzle. “On your back.”

“What?”

‘Taham licked his mate. “Trust me,” he repeated.

“Okay.” N’tho gave him a tentative smile and lay down, rolling over, stretching out…

…his body was magnificent…

Usze gently lowered himself over his mate. Would this work for a male as it worked for a female? He thought so…he hoped so…

“Why watch my reflection,” Usze murmured, “when you can dig your claws into my shoulders and look me in the eye?”

*

Nitro struggled for breath, his chest already heaving with excitement. He could see Usze kneeling over him, admiring his body, and a quiver of happiness traced its way up his spine.

Usze dipped his mouth next to Nitro’s earbud and whispered, “Why watch a reflection when you could hold me…taste me…watch me…the whole time?”

N’tho moaned. “Usze…this isn’t how I usually…this isn’t how …”

“Is that so wrong?”

“No!” He closed his eye and felt Usze’s tongue, hot and sweet, trace a wet trail across his chest. “No, it’s good…”

“Do you trust me?”

Yes was less than honest and no wasn’t an answer he wanted to give. Instead, he opened his eye and whispered, “I want to.”

“Give me a chance,” Usze replied as he rubbed his knuckles over his mate’s mandibles. “Will you let me try something I think will please you?”
Usze was asking. Not telling. Asking. Nitro’s breath escaped in a rush as he nodded.

Usze’s hands closed not on his hips, but his shoulders. Uzi’s claws teased his skin somewhere between pain and delight; then Usze’s tongue erased the scratches in long, decadent strokes. And there was still no sex.

“What are you doing?” Nitro panted.

“I seem to recall that you told me to do it as though you were a female,” Usze purred.

Nitro’s head was a blur of sensation; the experience was so intense that his perceptions were shifting. Usze’s tongue was trailing its way down N’tho’s body. Every touch was as real and distinct as an object; every sound exploded with colour and light; the scent of Usze wrapped around him like a caress. Nitro’s shaft was throbbing, his opening moist, and yet he had not received even a touch there, though he wanted it so badly.

“I meant…” Nitro could barely form the words. “I meant…you just mount me from behind…pierce me with your shaft…and go until you come.”

“Really?” The aristocrat’s voice was smooth. “How very low-class…” The Blademaster continued his caresses; somewhere Usze’s fingers and tongue must have encountered one another because when Uzi started to stroke Nitro’s inner thighs, his fingers were tantalizingly moist. “You should put your hands behind your head and relax, my dear hero. You should close your eyes and enjoy this.”

N’tho did as Usze said and found himself suspended in a world of pleasure, as Usze’s clever touches brought him to the edge of orgasm time and again, only to retreat at the last moment and leave him gasping and mewing for more…before beginning all over again.

Nitro’s hearts began to pulse a syncopated beat. “What are you doing to me?”

“Here. Catch your breath.” Uzi wrapped his arms around Nitro; ‘Sraom could feel his mate’s skin, dry and warm, against his own belly which was wet from Usze’s teasing. The hug was comforting, but his body screamed for release.

“Don’t stop!”

“I won’t stop,” Uzi replied with a soft caress, “and that’s a promise, I won’t stop unless you ask. But let me explain.” He loosened the hug and his hand begain to travel across Nitro’s chest, pausing at every rib as if to examine them. “I am the biological son of Toha ‘Sumai…yes, the Toha ‘Sumai, the famous swordsman. A Swordsman like Toha has his pick of females. That’s how he chose my mother, even though she was married into the House of ‘Taham. With options like that, Toha breeds to suit his own alliances…and indulge his own fancies.” Uzi licked at Nitro’s neck as if to emphasize that he was indulging his particular fancies right now.

“On Sangheilos there are some very powerful females…High Priestesses, Captains of the Home Guard, merchant queens,” Usze murmured, like a storyteller. “They covet the kind of genetics in my family line. But, as they are accustomed to power and influence in their own spheres, it does not please them to stoop for a male, nor to beg for the favour of the likes of Toha ‘Sumai. It suits them much more to find a young male from a favoured bloodline, a male as yet too young to have accumulated the accolades that would give him fame and power, but one already earmarked to achieve great things in the future. Such a match gives these females all the benefits of a strong bloodline for their child without forcing these females into what they would term indignities.” Usze let out a breath; Nitro saw him lap his own fingers again. “Can you imagine a High Priestess in the breeding chamber? Those females are demanding, relentless, and woe to the male who does not please them. If their sexual tastes do not run to other females, pregnancy alone will not satisfy them. They will have their pleasure before their partners leave or there will be hell to pay.” Now those moist fingers were dancing between N’tho’s thighs, cool against his body’s heat and yet inflaming him further.

“They chose you,” N’tho said, realizing what Usze was telling him.

“Yes.” Nitro saw Uzi’s expression darken.

“You didn’t want to.”

“Mating’s an obligation. It doesn’t matter if I want to.” He stopped his caresses suddenly and leaned over Nitro’s shoulder. “You said something the other day…night…” Uzi had to be losing track of time, just as N’tho was. “You said that mounting a male…couldn’t be that much different than a female. Nitro…have you never…”

‘Sraom pointed wordlessly to the Mark of Punishment.

“Bad genetics, what nonsense,” Usze muttered. “Look at you; you’re breathtaking. Look at your body,” he said, running his hands down the sides of the body in question, visibly drooling. “It’s a crime against the species, is what it is, that there isn’t a whole keep of little Nitros…”
“You want to share me with a pack of females?” Nitro asked dryly, and when Usze suddenly looked shocked, then clutched him possessively with a reflexive growl, N’tho couldn’t help but laugh. Uzi was so very, very jealous!

“It shouldn’t matter…if I liked the thought…” Uzi said, unconvincingly.

“Well, you’ve got my undivided attention,” ‘Sraom said, his voice husky. “Can I have yours again?” He took hold of ‘Taham’s hand and returned it to his bare flank. Usze purred and resumed his stroking; Nitro groaned, because the touch was good and yet it did not satisfy.

“Yes, so, I was a youth just out of the Academy when I found myself assigned to a two months’ stay in the Temple at Iruiru at the mercy of the High Priestess and her acolytes during breeding season.” He sighed. “A whole two months, and new females in season every day. Some were better than others….but by the Rings, they were merciless, every one of them.” He swallowed. “They taught me what they liked. They taught me how to excite, how to inflame, how to coax pleasure from another. They put me through their own brand of “training” and, were it not for the military demanding my presence at my first tour of duty, I might well be with them still.” He shivered.

Nitro lapped at his mate’s cheek, and the gesture evidently soothed Usze as he let his fingers make their way to the place where N’tho craved his touch the most.

“So you see, Nitro…when you told me to mate you like a female…this is what you were asking for. Because this is how I was taught to do it.” He gently ran his finger between Nitro’s buttocks.

“Can’t you…” By the Ancestors, he could hardly get enough air in his lungs to talk! “Can’t you make some concessions for a warrior?” Like hurry up and give him release, because he was so aroused that he was in pain?

Usze chuckled, low and throaty, in a way that made the hairs stand up on Nitro’s back. “I did. I let you lie down before I started to touch you...”

“But I need you! Now!”

“Are you ready?”

“Yes!” Nitro cried, but Usze was proceeding at his own pace.

“Let’s just see,” he murmured, and Nitro closed his eye as he finally, finally, felt what he’d been craving so badly…the slow, delicious penetration of…

It wasn’t filling him. It was… dammit, Usze was using his finger to explore, and it satisified half of his desires while setting the other half on fire with need for his partner inside him, not a finger, not two fingers, a full mating, filling him, completing him, now, please…

Nitro realized, distantly, that he wasn’t just thinking those words; he was saying them. They poured from his mouth, begging.

He’d tried so hard not to beg in front of Uzi, knowing the Blademaster didn’t respect weakness, knowing Usze was already ambivalent enough about N’tho’s sexual history. “Damn you!” Nitro snapped, his voice breathless. “If you don’t want me to debase myself, why did you do those things to me?”

Usze’s finger slid out of him, making Nitro cry with the loss. His skin shivered with cold; his shaft blazed with heat. He felt staggered, dizzied, crippled with lust…

Suddenly he felt another body folding over his. Usze. Chest to chest, belly to belly, with those two ridged scars digging into the softness of his tummy. Powerful thighs against his legs. Strong arms over his shoulders. By the Rings…Usze’s shaft…

…and the Blademaster whispering in his ear, “I did those things to give you pleasure.”

Pleasure? He was so overexcited that it hurt.

Then he felt a touch, a gentle, careful touch. That was his entrance…and then…

Oh, that wasn’t just Usze’s fingers again.

Nitro cried, tried not to flail as he pumped his hips, seeking what he needed. He felt the pressure of Usze’s weight on his body. “Steady,” the Blademaster said.

N’tho gritted his teeth and held still…

…and received what he most desired.

Usze’s first stroke had been careful and slow, just barely slipping his head inside, but that was Usze’s shaft, the real thing this time, and it felt…it felt…

Usze moved his hips and moved his whole body with the motion, draping himself over his mate.

Nitro felt Usze sliding into him and already, this soon, he came.

*

Nitro was far tighter than a female. Usze’s first thrust had barely taken him inside. ‘Taham pumped his hips a few more times, experiementally. The motion carried him about halfway home.

Oh, it was delicious.

Why hadn’t he done this before? Or…would he have liked it? Were there any other males like his hero, his Nitro?

N’tho surged under him. A climax? Already! It gave Usze a sense of pride. He held still, holding his mate close, letting Nitro get his breath back. Letting himself grow accustomed to the sensation of being inside a male.

Usze licked at his mate’s chest. Broad shoulders, rippling with defined muscles, powerful arms, here and there a battle scar…oh no, he wasn’t inside a female. He was fucking another warrior.

And he loved it.

Nitro apparently loved it too, because he arched his back and threw back his head and started to mew…little breathless mews, begging for more.

Usze pulled back out of him.

“No!” N’tho cried. “Usze, no, please, come back…”

Nitro’s sob was cut off by Usze nudging just the tip of his shaft back inside.

“Uzi…what’s happening…”

“Ssssh. Nitro. Hasn’t anyone ever bred you long and slow?”

“Bred” wasn’t really the right word…after all, Nitro wouldn’t be pregnant after this night…but Usze was just so much more familiar with females.

Nitro, fortunately, didn’t seem bothered by the slip. His mind was elsewhere. “I want you now,” he mewed.

“Oh, you think you do?” Usze murmured. “That’s nothing compared to how badly you’re going to want me ten minutes from now.”

N’tho mewled. “Oh no, Uzi, no, I’m never going to stand waiting that long, no, please…”

“Hush,” Usze retorted, and entered him again.

*

N’tho had heard stories about males in the breeding chambers who could recover from climaxes in short order, quickly enough to breed four or five females in one session. Up until today he’d considered those tales to be exaggerations. None of the males he’d been with had ever managed more than three. Nitro himself was lucky to get two from a session.

He wasn’t sure how many Usze had coaxed out of him…he’d lost count a while ago…but he knew for a fact it had to be more than three.

He was currently clinging to the Blademaster’s shoulders, shuddering as he came down again, flaring his mandibles as he struggled to get enough air. His vision was blurry and his blood rushed through his earbuds in a roar.

‘Taham slipped out of him and he cried out at the loss, despite the fact that he wasn’t sure how much more his body could take.

Uzi lay himself gently atop Nitro and began to lap his throat. “Do I please you?” he asked.

N’tho moaned. He had always been the one to ask that question.

“Yes,” he whispered. “So very much…”

Usze nuzzled him.

“What can I do for you?” Nitro whispered. “Everyone…I would bow for you…I would beg for you…I will submit when other warriors’ pride keeps them defiant…but you don’t want any of those things. What can I give you?”

The Blademaster leaned close. “If you are willing…I would like us to climax together. I would like to watch you come under me when I peak. I would like to see you revel in the pleasure we share. I would like that…very much.”

*

“Very much” was really an understatement. Usze had found himself stretching his Ascetic self-control to its utmost limits for quite some time now.

Had Nitro been one of those infernal Priestesses, ‘Taham would have considered today’s exertions to be mercifully short. Nitro was very responsive, coming again and again at the slightest provocation; there would be no grueling marathons required to make Nitro happy, no hour of pounding away at him before getting anywhere, no aching knees and sore back on Usze’s part…

However, Nitro was not a Priestess—he was a warrior, Uzi’s hero, and being inside him…smelling him and feeling him and tasting him…

…and mating him…

…was an incredible turn-on the likes of which Usze had never experienced before. He found himself withdrawing from Nitro not so much to tease as because he dared not stay lest he come too early. He’d never been one of those males who could just mount over and over…and he didn’t want to ruin this for Nitro.

In the back of his mind he wondered if he might not be able to rise to the occasion repeatedly with such a fine young male under him…but he dared not take that chance, not so soon.

Now, though, with Nitro’s blessing, he didn’t need to deny himself any longer.

He slipped into his mate again, pumping his hips, and ran his tongue over Nitro’s throat. He indulged himself, glutting his senses on taste and scent and the sound of Nitro’s mewls and the surge of his body against Usze’s…on Nitro’s moist, tight muscles pulsing rhythmically on his shaft…and he came. He threw back his head and howled, and under him Nitro was crying out as well.

He collapsed atop his mate, hot and exhausted. He listened to his hearts thundering in rhythm with ‘Sraom’s. The SpecOps Elite lapped the sweat from Usze’s cheek and he purred.

They lay there for several minutes before Usze realized two things.

He was still inside Nitro.

And he was getting hard again.

His eyes widened.

“Nitro…”

Nitro smiled up at him lazily. “SpecOps are tough,” he whispered. “I can take a little more...”

*

They had been too tired in the end to even get up from the pile of pillows by the door. Usze, exhausted, was sleeping in a sprawl, his chest on one pillow, his head on another. N’tho lay awake, his throat raw from screaming, watching his…

Was consort the right word? No, he thought reluctantly. Not for a relationship that was post-mission sex, sparked by lust and battle strain, extended by the extreme isolation of their circumstances from one encounter into several.

So why was he feeling so unsettled now? Why wasn’t he basking in the afterglow now that he’d gotten what he’d wanted? Usze certainly was. N’tho allowed himself a small, sad smile as he watched Usze grin and purr in his sleep as he nestled close. He’d never seen the Blademaster look so contented before.

By the Ancestors, N’tho was going to miss ‘Taham when this encounter reached its inevitable end. What had gone wrong? Sex was just…just sex, a pleasing thing like a morsel of delicious meat. A pleasurable treat between two warriors who wanted the same thing. His partners had always treated him casually, and he had come to think the same of them. Who mourned the last piece of meat in a bowl when there were other bowls for the having?

It was time to be honest with himself: there was nobody else like Uzi. Most of the time his lovers just wanted to satisfy their own needs. He’d learned to climax quickly; he had to get his satisfaction while he had the chance. Usze, on the other hand, seemed to take a particular delight in spoiling him rotten.

But now he felt hollow and desperate at the thought of losing Uzi.

He should never have mounted Usze. That was his mistake. And he could have asked Usze to hurry up during the last encounter, instead of glutting himself on the decadent pleasures the Blademaster had offered him.

It had to be new experiences that threw him this way. How long had it taken to get his mind off the Arbiter?

As long as it took Uzi to start being interesting.

N’tho didn’t like the implications of that thought. Uzi should not have been that interesting. Usze had still been acting like a jerk then. Uzi had slept on the floor in Crow’s Nest rather than share the bunk with him…and yet N’tho had been so happy to wake up in Usze’s bed and think he’d gotten it on with the Blademaster when he’d been drunk off that screech…

…and it had just gotten better in the days to come. The touching, the teasing. The secrets they shared: his Mark of Punishment, Usze’s scars. The laughing, the jokes, the little games. The two of them guarding one another in their moments of vulnerability. Usze taking care of him, first out of bed, then in…

Oh, shit. You don’t love him, do you?

Impossible. It was battle stress, that was all. It was the extreme trauma caused by the circumstances on the Omega Halo. Fighting for the fate of all life in the universe—the stakes couldn’t be higher. No wonder he was traumatized. No wonder he was starting to behave erratically now, and do stupid things, like thinking he was in love with Usze ‘Taham. Hell, ‘Taham was being stupid too. Any minute now, ‘Taham would wake up and remember he didn’t like males, and their encounter would be written off as a stress-related aberration. Usze would return to the cool detachment of an Ascetic, with no sexual encounters save the occasional breeding season, and N’tho would return to…to stooping for any male in the fleet…

N’tho buried his face in his pillow and wept.

He didn’t want to be the SpecOps slut, the way he had been in the 812th Assault Unit. He didn’t want to go back to one-night stands. He wanted…he wanted Uzi.

N’tho ‘Sraom didn’t care how shameful his tears might be. There was no one around to see. He let himself cry, as long and as loud as he wanted, in the hopes that by the time Uzi woke up, his tears would have run dry.