The Sentimental Feelings
folder
+S through Z › Star Ocean 3
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
17
Views:
8,975
Reviews:
75
Recommended:
1
Currently Reading:
0
Category:
+S through Z › Star Ocean 3
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
17
Views:
8,975
Reviews:
75
Recommended:
1
Currently Reading:
0
Disclaimer:
I do not own Star Ocean 3, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.
The Envy
Author: Ciissi
Fandom: Star Ocean III: Till the End of Time
Pairing: Albel Nox x Fayt Leingod
Disclaimer: I do not own Star Ocean III. It belongs to Square Enix, may they do lots of more good games. My hopes are with Final Fantasy XII and Fullmetal Alchemist. Song Pale is made and preformed by Within Temptation.
Warnings: Eventually NC-17. Contains yaoi meaning at least two boys having sex together but not in first few chapters. Possible child abuse but not in sexual manner. I am trying something new in this fiction. Sorry if it does not suit to its flow... TT____TT
Author's Note 1: Lots and lots of aaaangst. Every possible person who has not yet angsted will do it now. XD Yes, you saw it coming sooner or later. So enjoy. If you can. A very fragmented chapter on top of everything else... Are my skills or concentration lacking here...?
Answers for reviews: The fate of the kiriban for the 50th review is now decided. The kiriban goes to Rho. She has supported me for a long time now and I hope she is pleased with the picture. The kiriban is made by my best friend Crimson, whose profile in dA! is under the name of crimson-ix.
To Rho: Thank you! As a female I view it so that males usually are very much in denial in every situation. It might take some time before I get your kiriban from Crimson, so please be patient.
To Stella: Thank you for the review. It really warmed me because it seems that there are not so many people that still read and review this fiction. I am always honored if someone likes my style and story enough to review it.
*****
Part One - Chapter Eleven: The Envy (The grass IS greener on the other side...)
A few days after the party of the Queen of Aquaria Sophia sat alone in the deserted house which they used for creating the different kind of items, foods, weapons, armors. She was feeling strange remorse and unattachment for her surroundings. Without really caring or following what she was doing, she mixed different kinds of ingredients together. She was not really creating anything useful. Only wasting the expensive, precious ingredients, but she could not have cared any more less.
[The world seems not the same]
Sophia Esteed was staring into her mind, collecting her shattered dreams and hopes. The dreams of her happiness. The hopes of eternal love. The childishly spun tales and imagines how Fayt would finally realize that he loved her more than anything else, that she had always been there for him.
[Though I know nothing has changed]
Now Sophia realized that she had *never* been there when it would have really mattered. Fayt had changed even without her presence. No, perhaps it was so that Fayt had been able to change and grow and became wiser because Sophia *had not been there*. It hurt to admit that there was also that possibility. But she was not stupid... just very, very naïve.
[It's all my state of mind]
Sophia really had never had a hard time. She had always been protected by her family and relatives. She was not dumb, but she was not exceptionally brilliant either. Her scores at school were normal, mediocre. She was cute as every girl at her age. For their entire childhood Sophia had been close to Fayt, but she had never understood that Fayt's intelligence was nothing normal. Because of her naivety and uncaringness, she had never seen how Fayt struggled with his university entrance exams. Before their holiday in Hydra IV Sophia's greatest problems had been very typical to every teenaged girl that was popular. She had been worrying about her looks, clothes. She had been wondering if her friends were suited for her image and if she had made it clear to everyone in her school and neighborhood that Fayt and she were destined to be together forever and live happily ever after.
[I can't leave it all behind]
So easily Sophia's dreams were destroyed by one man.
[I have to stand up to be stronger]
Albel Nox...
[I have to try]
Sophia whirled a bottle thoughtlessly around on the table and thought of Fayt's metamorphosis. When she had been saved from Vendeeni along with Fayt$B!G(Bs father, she had not at first realized how much Fayt really had changed and grown up. It took Albel Nox's interference before their fight against Bigwig and transportation into Diplo before she realized. The leadership skills. The quickly made decisions. The respect of the strangers accompanying Fayt Leingod. The heavy blade strapped on his belt. The light but real armor. The faint smell of blood around her childhood friend.
[To break free]
[From the thoughts in my mind]
Albel Nox.
[Use the time that I have]
It seemed to Sophia like every possible aspect of Fayt's changes was there because of the Elicoorian Captain. She blamed the bloody-eyed male for everything that was 'wrong' in her friend. He was the reason why Fayt was distant towards her, did no longer tell her every secret he had. It had became everyday sight for her to see those two having practice fights together, no one ever daring to interfere. Once she had seen the long-haired male drawing blood with his cruel katana. She had felt sick as she had seen the pleasure on that sadistic face when the elder male had licked Fayt's blood from the blade.
[I can say goodbye]
Albel Nox!
[Have to make it right]
[Have to fight]
Sophia gave up, slumped over the table and burst into bitter tears.
['Cause I know in the end it's worthwhile]
*****
Cliff stood outside the workshop house, leaning against the wall beside the door, and listened to the suffocating sound of the desperate, bitter tears of a young girl who had just lost all the dreams of her childhood. In some way Cliff was able to sympathize with her. Once he too had thought that he was in love with the gentle blue-haired Earthling. It had been a sour bite for him as he came to acknowledge that he was nothing more than an elder brother to the other male.
When had Cliff realized that there was no hope for him, that Fayt was enchanted by the Wicked One? Had he ever *really* realized himself that Fayt more than liked the Elicoorian male? Was he in reality that blind that he needed Mirage's insight before he had realized what was going on between Fayt and Albel? In truth Cliff did not know anything else but the truth of it because of his slowness, selfness it had been too late for him. When he had come to see the real feelings Fayt had for the Wicked One, the youngster had already been goner, taken away by his own feelings of confusion.
And Cliff Fittir was left behind as a sore loser. //Well... not as sore as Sophia//, he had to admit to himself, did not make things any easier for him. Cliff closed his eyes and thought of Fayt... and a little bit of Albel too.
It was not very hard for the Klausian male to imagine, to see Fayt inside his mind smiling and talking like he had done back in Vanguard III. Back then Fayt never mentioned the Wicked One. It was natural. Back then they had not yet met the Elicoorian Captain. Back then Fayt had been somewhat cute while always talking about that damn UP3. Now he hardly ever mentioned it, many of his beliefs and convictions crushed and cruelly stomped into the dirt. It more than a bit irked Cliff, that it had been something that Albel the Wicked had said or done what had raised Fayt from his slump and depression. He could not even imagine *what* the blood-thirsty warrior might have done to help 'his prey'. But more than that, Cliff was intrigued whether or not the Wicked One had done whatever he had done purposely or had it happened by accident, without the crimson-eyed male ever realizing that it was indeed *him* that had helped Fayt with his desire of finding a suitable opponent.
To Cliff Albel Nox was somewhat a mystery. Cruel, illogical, just, strong, mysterious, mean, unforgiving, intelligent... There seemed to be a hundred attributes, adjectives to describe the Glyphian swordsman, every single one of them suited and unsuited at the same time. Cliff had come to realize through the strange partnership and understanding between Albel the Wicked and Fayt, that many of those descriptions he had heard of the Wicked One were misrepresented by the war propaganda of the Aquarians. But he could not blame them. War was war and peace was peace. Wartimes required harshness from the leaders and if a few exaggerations about the leading persons of the opposing side saved and fired up some soldiers, then the propaganda had served it purpose.
Cliff knew the cruel and wicked facts of the war far better than he would have preferred.
There were lots of things that Cliff did not know and even if he was not able to define them, he was able to at least admit that he would *never* be all knowing. Perhaps he did not even want to. Yes, he was worried about Fayt. Yes, he did not like Albel the Wicked much. Yes, for a long time now he, Cliff Fittir, had considered Fayt Leingod to be his precious little brother. No, he really did not want to know what was going on between Fayt and the Wicked One besides the obvious. And no, was not happy *at all* to give his little brother as a 'bride' into the Nox family!
Cliff was more than displeased with the current development of the matters.
Damn Mirage with her cuteness-addiction! Damn Maria with her profitability-thinking! Those two females were the reason, why the seemingly harmless prank had turned into this huge mess with Fayt ending up taking care of the mentally twisted warrior. Okay, so he had done his own part in leading things to the way they were now. Cliff opened his eyes and lightly, rhythmically tapped the back of his head against the wood of the outside wall of the house. He crossed his arms over his chest and sighed slightly.
Cliff was not so sure anymore, if he was bitter about how things were. Some times there were forces stronger than mere mortals - in here and back in the 4D-space - could ever imagine. He had begun to wonder, if Fayt's and the Wicked One's meeting was preordained by some even greater force than the Creator of this 'game' in which they existed... It was a hunch thus Cliff believed in it firmly. The meeting of the Wicked One was not some kind of sadistic game by Luther, but a rather occurrence that no one had power over, power to prevent.
It did not mean though that Cliff Fittir could not be a sore loser. It did not mean that he could not bear malice because of all this. It did not mean that he could not learn to accept the feelings between the crazy Airyglyphian and Fayt. It did not mean that he could not help those two young ones. It did not mean that he had chosen Mirage because he had no way of getting Fayt.
Cliff pushed himself off from the wall, on his feet and stuffed his hands into the pockets of his tight vest. He sauntered away from the workshop. He greeted the every person that bowed, hailed him. Few times he stopped to talk with some Crimson Blades and some other soldiers of the army of Aquaria. As he talked with them, he could not stop himself from comparing them with the soldiers of Airyglyph.
But things had been very much different back then...
It was the most complex matter in Cliff$B!G(Bs current life. How was he supposed to adopt his attitude towards this personage called Albel Nox? It was clear that he could no longer uphold his somewhat baseless hostility, but he did not believe that he could just like that change his attitude like they would have always been in good relations. Cliff could not stand the idea from the farce like that and his gut feeling told him that Albel would kill him after regaining his adult-body if Cliff would ever do something like that.
Cliff really did no know *how* Fayt managed to control and come along with Albel 'the Wicked' Nox without any problems at all...
*****
Albel and Fayt were having a... err... conversation. About Albel taking a nap.
The child-formed Albel the Wicked was against the idea of taking a nap.
The stubborn Fayt Leingod was defending the idea of Albel taking a nap.
It seemed that Fayt was winning, if the way in which Albel yawned was any indication. But because the general of the opposing side was Albel Nox, the negotiations were not going anywhere fast. It was the very and true nature of the Elicoorian male to oppose peaceful negotiations if there was a possibility of having a real fight with swords and blood and armors and guts shields and gore and pain.
Unfortunately... general Albel was not as good as general Fayt in the way of deceiving. So it was kind of... predictable... that few minutes after Fayt began to do this so called 'reasoning' and 'deductive inquiring', Albel was somewhat tired of listening to the blue-haired youngster talking, speaking endlessly about the profits of taking a nap.
Albel fell into sleep because the Earthling blue-head did not know when to shut up his trap.
*****
Roger S. Huxley hated the child-Albel more than his younger siblings. He had hated the elder Elicoorian male from the beginning, but his feelings now were nothing like back then. Compared to what he was feeling right now it was possible to say that then Roger has *liked* Albel-moron.
It was an unchangeable truth that Roger was jealous. He had always known on some level that the relationship between Albel-idiot and Fayt was special and Fayt was more considerate towards Albel the Wicked than anyone else. The blue-haired youngster often talked with the bloody-eyed man about difficult things that Roger's mind could not even grasp. He remembered that strange conversation between Fayt and the torturer-Nox in Peterny before they headed to fight against the Marquis in Urssa Lava Caves. He had been secretly listening to the conversation nearby and they had been talking openly in the street so it really had not been spying or eavesdropping.
"There were lots of reasons I guess - your meddling and that celestial ship among them - but the fact is that we lost. Try as we might, we were unable to destroy Aquaria. In other words, we failed. There was something lacking that prevented us from winning. Do you know what it was? It's really quite simple."
"Are referring to why Aquaria won?"
"That's right. Despite the very real differences in strength between our kingdoms, we waged war against you because we thought we had a chance of winning. However, you can see the outcome. Why do you think this happened?"
"The King should've been more ruthless. Ruling a kingdom requires making tough decisions. It is important for a ruler to always consider the big picture and sometimes even be heartless."
"Well... You do have a brain in that head of yours. There is no end to people's desires. If you want to control the masses, you have to throw away the carrot and use the stick!"(1)
Roger knew that something had happened between those two on the following night, because suddenly those two elder males had talked more about even more difficult things than before.
It was an unchangeable fact that Roger was jealous of Fayt's time. After Albel had turned into a seemingly 'harmless' child, the Airyglyphian warrior had almost entirely filled Fayt's every moment of daytime and nighttime. Fayt no longer had time to do things with him and Peppita. The girl was not worried, telling Roger over and over again that Fayt would have more time to play with them when Albel would turn back to adult. Then she even spat out some bullshit how Fayt was 'soooo responsible adult' and 'will make an exceptional father'.
Roger did not want Fayt as a father. For a long time he had really, really thought that Fayt a was good example of a real man. Now he was not so sure anymore. Especially when he had heard Maria, Mirage, Nel and Clair mooning over the emerald-eyed young man and talking something strange how 'Albel's and Fayt's relationship is turning into a really hot and cute one'.
The Menodixian boy could not stop himself nor did he even try. "I HATE YOU, ALBEL NOX!!!!! You're no real man!!" Roger shouted as loud as he could in the empty park inside the wall of the castle of Aquaria and stomped his foot on the ground very childishly.
*****
Back in the inn Albel sneezed in his sleep - Fayt had talked him into taking a nap - and Fayt worriedly wondered if the other one was getting a cold. He was aware that it would not do at all. He had never really seen Albel ill, but if the current behavior the sword master was going through was any indication, Fayt was sure as Hell that he *really* did not want Albel Nox ill.
Carefully Fayt considered the possibilities that he had now hoped that he chose the most appropriate one. Slowly he shed all of his clothes, leaving himself bare. He pushed Albel's covers back and slipped in to the bed. Fayt pulled Albel into his arms, laid down, pulled the covers over both of them and determinately fell into sleep.
It might be needless to say, but Albel was rather pleased to find himself embraced by a naked Fayt when he woke up a few hours later. His only distress was that he really had no 'good' body to practice the kind of training he really wanted...
*****
Adray Lasbard had decided somewhere along his journey with master Fayt and lady Nel and their companions that things like 'marriage' and 'love' were nowhere as easy as he had originally thought. It was easy to fall in love and marry a person, but it was an entirely different thing if that chosen person was likeable for the parents too. For Adray's dismay it seemed that it was much, much easier for a child to choose someone unsuited - from father's point of view - than someone suited.
It was not like Adray had not liked Nel Zelpher - personally he had nothing against her - but it still bothered him that his pride and joy, his only daughter Claire had chosen another female as her partner of life and love. It time to time concerned Adray what would happen to the mighty House of Lasbard. It was usually then when Her Majesty the Queen Romeria the XXVII reminded him that the lady-heir of the House of Lasbard had several cousins that could be able to produce - and had already done that - a new heir to the household.
It was very intimidating to notice again and again how sharp woman the Queen of Aquaria really was...
The journey to save their entire universe did in many ways good for Adray. He was not by far a narrow-minded person, but his appearances and booming voice were quite an obstacle for people around him to realize it. He was in an age suited for being a grandfather, but because he had no grandchildren of his own, he had taken it upon himself to act as one in their little group. The youngest ones - girls Peppita and Sophia Esteed and boy Roger - had nothing really against his position. They rather welcomed his grandparenthood and actively looked for his presence and elderly wisdom and storytelling. Master Fayt Leingod and Maria Traydor were in *that* age. They really liked 'grandpa' Adray, but they knew lots and lots of things that the eldest male had no clue of. Still they listened to him and his experience of battles and wars. Nel honored him like her father-in-law. Cliff Fittir and Mirage Koas were more like son and daughter to him. And the infamous Captain Albel Nox... simply hated and was disgusted by Adray.
When Adray was at first for a moment joined to master Fayt and his companions, Adray had thought that there was no person that could ever like the Airyglyphian Captain or other way around. Then much later on he had inspected something unbelievable, unexpected in the Holder of the sword Crimson Scourge. He had noticed for his own amazement that the cold-blooded killer indeed respected and even *liked* the young leader of the mismatched group of travelers. And it was as amazing that master Fayt felt the same way towards the Airyglyphian warrior.
When Adray for the first time consulted the situation with Nel who had been with the others longer than Adray ever, he had learned that the Crimson Blade had also monitored the same kind of feelings between the two males as Adray. She had been worried too, but she had been quite adamant that if someone could stand up against Albel the Wicked$B!G(Bs bullying it was master Fayt. So Adray had decided not to worry but still keep an eye on those two.
That was the reason, why Adray Lasbard saw master Fayt's feelings growing more and more found and intense, even if he himself was not aware of it. That was the reason, why Adray Lasbard saw Captain Nox placing his entire trust on master Fayt guarding the other one's back, protecting the other one, even if he himself was not aware of it.
When Adray listened to young Roger screaming out his childish frustration and jealousy, he mused to himself how lucky he was when by examining the matters between master Fayt and Captain Nox, he had learned to be more accepting and tolerating.
Because feelings came in different forms and the thing called 'love' was no exception.
*****
[That the pain that I feel slowly fades away]
[It will be all right]
Sophia stared out of the window with dull, lifeless eyes. Her usually warm, brown eyes were now without the glint, the sparkle of happiness and pleasure, joy and lark. She sat still in the workshop in her chair without movement, no muscle twitching in her body. Her eyes were dry and the dried tears of her earlier breakdown were still staining her young face as the last orange, red rays of the sunlight fell over the unchanging mask of her face. Sophia was tired of crying. It did not change a thing anymore. She could cry no more, she could smile no more. This frozen, motionless moment, time, *body* felt good, dulled the pain inside.
[I know]
[I should realize]
Sophia looked out of the window staring at the gray stone wall of the house opposite. She was not aware of the slowly disappearing light and colors of the twilight. Her mind, soul was filled by black and darkness. She was not aware of the million stars looking down from the indigo, dark purple sky of nighttime.
[Time is precious]
[It is worthwhile]
Here, in Elicoor II, the stars did not connect like they did on Earth. They did not draw out the familiar shapes of Draco, Spica, Virgo, Leo major, Lynx or Argo(2). The familiar light of stars in those constellations was still there but because it came from the new place, perspective it turned into something frightening and strange, something unwanted. And yet they were unchanged.
[Despite how I feel inside]
Like those stars... the world had stayed same around Sophia. It was not like the air she was breathing would have changed into something other than oxygen or sun would have changed its course. Nothing like that, but it was more like she suddenly for the first time realized that this planet was no Earth, this place was not one of those simulator games that Fayt so much liked to play.
[Have to trust it'll be alright]
[Have to stand up to be stronger]
Then the moonlight hit on Sophia's face, startling her, and she shook off her daze. Really looking out of the window for the first time for the entire day she saw the world of black and white. It seemed so surreal and weird that it made her think if her world had always been like this. Only black and white denying all the important shades of gray. The world of colorless right and wrong, never asking anyone else's opinion. Was she always thinking that her point of view was the only and the right one? Sophia wondered had she ever asked *Fayt's* opinion about her dreams and hopes and she knew the answer without really thinking. She realized that if - even once - she had talked about her dreams with Fayt and asked what he was thinking of them, she might not now be in this situation.
[I have to try]
[To break free]
[From the thoughts in my mind]
Sophia took another glance out of the dirty-glassed window and studied what she saw more intensely. She compared what she saw and what she knew about her surroundings.
[Use the time that I have]
Sophia knew by heart the colors of the flowerbeds that crowded the city of Aquios, but now she could not see the colors, not even a single blooming flower. She knew that somewhere there in this world existed flowers that only bloomed under the full moon. She had seen them once, when she had followed the Airyglyphian swordsman and Fayt on their nightly training session. Fayt had noticed the flowers and commented something about them to the male with him. There had been a sneer of course, but surprisingly the bloody-eyed person had not tramped the flowers or taunted them anyway. Whatever he had said to Fayt, had been said so silently that Sophia had not heard. But the way Fayt had touched the Captain's shoulder had told more than words.
[I can say goodbye]
Sophia knew by her heart the colors of the walls of the houses that stood proudly in the city of Aquios, but she could no see the colors, not even a single shade. It was true that the houses were mainly built of stone and wood, but the used stones and woods were not only one shade of gray, brown. In many occurrences the wood was painted and the stones had stripes in shades of red, black and green. Once when for some unknown reason she had been traveling with Fayt and the younger Elicoorian male in the front group, Fayt had taught to her and the warrior eagerly looking for fights about the reasons why there were different kinds of rock types. Sophia could not really recall *why* he had talked about it and she really had no listened to him, only hearing the sound of Fayt's voice. Then Fayt had asked something folkloristic from the Airyglyphian menace, who had ignored the question entirely. It had been several hours later, when they had already camped for the night before the Airyglyphian had pulled Fayt with him. It had supposedly been another training session, but both of the youngsters had left their weapons behind and those, who had stayed in the camp, could hear the Captain's faint voice talking with Fayt.
[Have to make it right]
Sophia knew by her heart the sound of the buzzing, living city of Aquios and its streets, but she could not hear a sound, a breath. Of course she knew that it was nighttime and the glass of the window shut out all the faint noises that night produced. It was not hard for her to compare the stillness, the silence of the dead night as the deadliness, the coldness of the hard-eyed Airyglyphian. It was not hard for her to compare the liveliness, the noisiness of the busy day as her cheerful, her warm self. She could not understand *what* was so enchanting for Fayt in the cold-hearted, emotionless killer.
[Have to fight]
['Cause I know in the end it's worthwhile]
There was nothing Fayt could gain from the merciless penance and death, right?
[That the pain that I feel slowly fades away]
[It will be all right]
But Sophia knew that the things between the Earthling youngster and the Elicoorian man were not that easy by far. They never had been and they would never be. It really did not matter what term she used for the Captain of the Black Brigade. The scorning words only made Fayt sad and the Captain smirk with pleasure of acknowledgement. It was not like... 'Albel Nox'... changed because of the names which he was called by. He did not care, only enjoyed the horror behind those names.
[Oh, this night is too long]
Sophia gave up with her circling thoughts and stood up. It was not like she was going anywhere with her thinking. Her heart, head and soul still ached, but the fact that Fayt cared much more for... Albel Nox... than her, was undeniable. Now as well, she could just concentrate on finding the cure for the Potion of Youth (Real) she had made with Peppita and Puffy. Stalling the analysis any further would not do any good for her. Fayt's feelings would not change. Al-Albel Nox would not let go of his... prey. The world could not wait. The Creator would not stall the destruction of their universe just because Sophia Esteed was having the biggest crisis of her young life and love ever.
[Have no strength to go on]
So mournfully Sophia let it all slide. Her hate, her desperation, her feelings, her thoughts. She let it all go and slide until nothing more than exhaustion filled her. She needed nothing more than this emptiness that would in time heal her heart and soul before dissolving to be replaced by new, stronger feelings for someone other than Fayt.
[No more pain I'm floating away]
Sophia decided that she would support Fayt's choice no matter what would happen, what would come out of it. Fayt had never meant to harm her feelings. He was just sometimes so oblivious that he could not see what was plainly displayed in front of his very eyes. Albel Nox meant ill for Sophia, but she did not think that the blood-smelling Elicoorian would have developed feelings towards Fayt just to make her hurt. After all... 'Albel Nox' and 'feelings' sounded really strange in the same sentence.
So that things in the workshop would proceed undelayed on the following day, Sophia checked everything inside the grand room. She checked that there were enough items for the Compounding and enough... well... *everything* for the three girls to work side by side and still leave some space for others to work at the same time with their own projects.
It took more time than Sophia originally estimated, but it was worth it. Soon, soon they would be able to solve the problem behind the accursed Potion of Youth (Real). It was not like there had not been progress during these weeks after Albel's transformation, but Sophia's heart had not really been there, so the work had progressed slowly, very slowly. In fact if they had been progressing any slower, they would have gone backwards. Depressed Sophia had that kind of effect on people around her, working with her.
With the one, last glance inside the workshop Sophia decided that it was time for her to return back to the castle. She stepped out of the door closing it behind her and raised her eyes to scan the sleeping city around her. And so she saw something she had never thought she might see or experience. It was rather questionable if she even desired this kind of experience.
[Through the mist I see the face]
Under the palest moonlight, pulsating stars inside the rising night mist a person walked clothed on a long robe with sleeves so wide that they gently swept the cobble stones of the streets of Aquios. It was impossible to tell the real color of the robe because the moonlight and the mist faded away all the colors leaving only black and white. Because of the mist the person seemed rather gliding over the streets than walking on the streets. It was carrying something in its arms, protecting the bundle of black like it would have meant this person's entire life. Like it would have carried its soul in that darkness on its embrace.
[Of an angel, calls my name]
Two snake like, black-and-white things fell out of the black bundle and the hooded head descended over the darkness. The snakes twisted and turned like in their death throes. A small hand fell out of the darkness and swung back and forth lifelessly. The air was suddenly filled with thousands of sounds emphasized by the sheer silence of the night and the moist mist encircling everything in the city. The swish of the robe against skin, the stones. The murmur rising from the throat whispering unformed sound against the black bundle. The heavy, metallic cling of a chain floating before the unknown person. The hiss of pain. The pitter patter of the feet against the wet street. The swirling mist made the person, figure strangely appear as if it was fading in and out of reality, when it continued without straying from its pace.
A hazy cloud flowed in front of the moon. The night took one level darker shade. The shine of the stars seemed to come down from the heavens to decorate this... creature's... misty cloak as diamonds like honoring the Fallen Lord of Destruction walking among the mortals.
Carry the dead body of the beloved - a child, a spouse, a parent, a lover - with arms heavy as steel... into the Land of Death... and continue on to the World of Despair.
[I remember you're the reason I have to stay]
A new, thicker cloud found its way in front of the moon and the entire night became filled with darkness. The starlight was not enough to lighten the streets but only palely. The thick mist did not help at all in exploring the city. And then the cloud was gone exposing now the empty street. The unknown person was already gone.
[I have to try]
[To break free]
[From the thoughts in my mind]
[Use the time that I have]
[I can say goodbye]
Sophia Esteed was seventeen years old, when she realized that first loves were often one-sided and they hardly ever were meant to last. Especially when one did not do anything to tell the other side, what one was feeling thus eliminating the possibility of ever being loved back. She was still Fayt Leingod's dear childhood friend and now she could see that it was all she would ever be...
[Have to make it right]
[Have to fight]
['Cause I know in the end it's worthwhile]
[That the pain that I feel slowly fades away]
[It will be all right]
TBC...
*****
Author's Note 2: Due to my summer holiday and not having internet connection, my updates will be late. My deepest apologies. At the beginning of the new semester on fall, updates will go back to normal once a month. I hope you all can forgive me and continue reading even in this situation.
And I swear I was not going to turn this chapter into a songfiction. I had almost completed this chapter when I happened to listen to the album The Silent Force by Within Temptation. The lyrics of the song Pale struck me like a hammer, because they fitter so well on the parts with Sophia. After a long discussion with myself, I decided to put them into the fiction. I hope the lyrics do not bother you too much.
(1) This is partly conversation of Private Action 44 with the answer #3: 'The King should've been more ruthless.' It happens in Peterny before the PA, where you can choose whether or not Albel is your first choice of two chosable characters.
(2) I am not quite sure are these names of the constellations written in English or in Latin... Their names are different in Finnish so I am not entirely sure did I use the right names as the example here.
// 7 pages in Word (8 pages in Word with song)
// 5 351 words (5 611 words with song)
Fandom: Star Ocean III: Till the End of Time
Pairing: Albel Nox x Fayt Leingod
Disclaimer: I do not own Star Ocean III. It belongs to Square Enix, may they do lots of more good games. My hopes are with Final Fantasy XII and Fullmetal Alchemist. Song Pale is made and preformed by Within Temptation.
Warnings: Eventually NC-17. Contains yaoi meaning at least two boys having sex together but not in first few chapters. Possible child abuse but not in sexual manner. I am trying something new in this fiction. Sorry if it does not suit to its flow... TT____TT
Author's Note 1: Lots and lots of aaaangst. Every possible person who has not yet angsted will do it now. XD Yes, you saw it coming sooner or later. So enjoy. If you can. A very fragmented chapter on top of everything else... Are my skills or concentration lacking here...?
Answers for reviews: The fate of the kiriban for the 50th review is now decided. The kiriban goes to Rho. She has supported me for a long time now and I hope she is pleased with the picture. The kiriban is made by my best friend Crimson, whose profile in dA! is under the name of crimson-ix.
To Rho: Thank you! As a female I view it so that males usually are very much in denial in every situation. It might take some time before I get your kiriban from Crimson, so please be patient.
To Stella: Thank you for the review. It really warmed me because it seems that there are not so many people that still read and review this fiction. I am always honored if someone likes my style and story enough to review it.
*****
Part One - Chapter Eleven: The Envy (The grass IS greener on the other side...)
A few days after the party of the Queen of Aquaria Sophia sat alone in the deserted house which they used for creating the different kind of items, foods, weapons, armors. She was feeling strange remorse and unattachment for her surroundings. Without really caring or following what she was doing, she mixed different kinds of ingredients together. She was not really creating anything useful. Only wasting the expensive, precious ingredients, but she could not have cared any more less.
[The world seems not the same]
Sophia Esteed was staring into her mind, collecting her shattered dreams and hopes. The dreams of her happiness. The hopes of eternal love. The childishly spun tales and imagines how Fayt would finally realize that he loved her more than anything else, that she had always been there for him.
[Though I know nothing has changed]
Now Sophia realized that she had *never* been there when it would have really mattered. Fayt had changed even without her presence. No, perhaps it was so that Fayt had been able to change and grow and became wiser because Sophia *had not been there*. It hurt to admit that there was also that possibility. But she was not stupid... just very, very naïve.
[It's all my state of mind]
Sophia really had never had a hard time. She had always been protected by her family and relatives. She was not dumb, but she was not exceptionally brilliant either. Her scores at school were normal, mediocre. She was cute as every girl at her age. For their entire childhood Sophia had been close to Fayt, but she had never understood that Fayt's intelligence was nothing normal. Because of her naivety and uncaringness, she had never seen how Fayt struggled with his university entrance exams. Before their holiday in Hydra IV Sophia's greatest problems had been very typical to every teenaged girl that was popular. She had been worrying about her looks, clothes. She had been wondering if her friends were suited for her image and if she had made it clear to everyone in her school and neighborhood that Fayt and she were destined to be together forever and live happily ever after.
[I can't leave it all behind]
So easily Sophia's dreams were destroyed by one man.
[I have to stand up to be stronger]
Albel Nox...
[I have to try]
Sophia whirled a bottle thoughtlessly around on the table and thought of Fayt's metamorphosis. When she had been saved from Vendeeni along with Fayt$B!G(Bs father, she had not at first realized how much Fayt really had changed and grown up. It took Albel Nox's interference before their fight against Bigwig and transportation into Diplo before she realized. The leadership skills. The quickly made decisions. The respect of the strangers accompanying Fayt Leingod. The heavy blade strapped on his belt. The light but real armor. The faint smell of blood around her childhood friend.
[To break free]
[From the thoughts in my mind]
Albel Nox.
[Use the time that I have]
It seemed to Sophia like every possible aspect of Fayt's changes was there because of the Elicoorian Captain. She blamed the bloody-eyed male for everything that was 'wrong' in her friend. He was the reason why Fayt was distant towards her, did no longer tell her every secret he had. It had became everyday sight for her to see those two having practice fights together, no one ever daring to interfere. Once she had seen the long-haired male drawing blood with his cruel katana. She had felt sick as she had seen the pleasure on that sadistic face when the elder male had licked Fayt's blood from the blade.
[I can say goodbye]
Albel Nox!
[Have to make it right]
[Have to fight]
Sophia gave up, slumped over the table and burst into bitter tears.
['Cause I know in the end it's worthwhile]
*****
Cliff stood outside the workshop house, leaning against the wall beside the door, and listened to the suffocating sound of the desperate, bitter tears of a young girl who had just lost all the dreams of her childhood. In some way Cliff was able to sympathize with her. Once he too had thought that he was in love with the gentle blue-haired Earthling. It had been a sour bite for him as he came to acknowledge that he was nothing more than an elder brother to the other male.
When had Cliff realized that there was no hope for him, that Fayt was enchanted by the Wicked One? Had he ever *really* realized himself that Fayt more than liked the Elicoorian male? Was he in reality that blind that he needed Mirage's insight before he had realized what was going on between Fayt and Albel? In truth Cliff did not know anything else but the truth of it because of his slowness, selfness it had been too late for him. When he had come to see the real feelings Fayt had for the Wicked One, the youngster had already been goner, taken away by his own feelings of confusion.
And Cliff Fittir was left behind as a sore loser. //Well... not as sore as Sophia//, he had to admit to himself, did not make things any easier for him. Cliff closed his eyes and thought of Fayt... and a little bit of Albel too.
It was not very hard for the Klausian male to imagine, to see Fayt inside his mind smiling and talking like he had done back in Vanguard III. Back then Fayt never mentioned the Wicked One. It was natural. Back then they had not yet met the Elicoorian Captain. Back then Fayt had been somewhat cute while always talking about that damn UP3. Now he hardly ever mentioned it, many of his beliefs and convictions crushed and cruelly stomped into the dirt. It more than a bit irked Cliff, that it had been something that Albel the Wicked had said or done what had raised Fayt from his slump and depression. He could not even imagine *what* the blood-thirsty warrior might have done to help 'his prey'. But more than that, Cliff was intrigued whether or not the Wicked One had done whatever he had done purposely or had it happened by accident, without the crimson-eyed male ever realizing that it was indeed *him* that had helped Fayt with his desire of finding a suitable opponent.
To Cliff Albel Nox was somewhat a mystery. Cruel, illogical, just, strong, mysterious, mean, unforgiving, intelligent... There seemed to be a hundred attributes, adjectives to describe the Glyphian swordsman, every single one of them suited and unsuited at the same time. Cliff had come to realize through the strange partnership and understanding between Albel the Wicked and Fayt, that many of those descriptions he had heard of the Wicked One were misrepresented by the war propaganda of the Aquarians. But he could not blame them. War was war and peace was peace. Wartimes required harshness from the leaders and if a few exaggerations about the leading persons of the opposing side saved and fired up some soldiers, then the propaganda had served it purpose.
Cliff knew the cruel and wicked facts of the war far better than he would have preferred.
There were lots of things that Cliff did not know and even if he was not able to define them, he was able to at least admit that he would *never* be all knowing. Perhaps he did not even want to. Yes, he was worried about Fayt. Yes, he did not like Albel the Wicked much. Yes, for a long time now he, Cliff Fittir, had considered Fayt Leingod to be his precious little brother. No, he really did not want to know what was going on between Fayt and the Wicked One besides the obvious. And no, was not happy *at all* to give his little brother as a 'bride' into the Nox family!
Cliff was more than displeased with the current development of the matters.
Damn Mirage with her cuteness-addiction! Damn Maria with her profitability-thinking! Those two females were the reason, why the seemingly harmless prank had turned into this huge mess with Fayt ending up taking care of the mentally twisted warrior. Okay, so he had done his own part in leading things to the way they were now. Cliff opened his eyes and lightly, rhythmically tapped the back of his head against the wood of the outside wall of the house. He crossed his arms over his chest and sighed slightly.
Cliff was not so sure anymore, if he was bitter about how things were. Some times there were forces stronger than mere mortals - in here and back in the 4D-space - could ever imagine. He had begun to wonder, if Fayt's and the Wicked One's meeting was preordained by some even greater force than the Creator of this 'game' in which they existed... It was a hunch thus Cliff believed in it firmly. The meeting of the Wicked One was not some kind of sadistic game by Luther, but a rather occurrence that no one had power over, power to prevent.
It did not mean though that Cliff Fittir could not be a sore loser. It did not mean that he could not bear malice because of all this. It did not mean that he could not learn to accept the feelings between the crazy Airyglyphian and Fayt. It did not mean that he could not help those two young ones. It did not mean that he had chosen Mirage because he had no way of getting Fayt.
Cliff pushed himself off from the wall, on his feet and stuffed his hands into the pockets of his tight vest. He sauntered away from the workshop. He greeted the every person that bowed, hailed him. Few times he stopped to talk with some Crimson Blades and some other soldiers of the army of Aquaria. As he talked with them, he could not stop himself from comparing them with the soldiers of Airyglyph.
But things had been very much different back then...
It was the most complex matter in Cliff$B!G(Bs current life. How was he supposed to adopt his attitude towards this personage called Albel Nox? It was clear that he could no longer uphold his somewhat baseless hostility, but he did not believe that he could just like that change his attitude like they would have always been in good relations. Cliff could not stand the idea from the farce like that and his gut feeling told him that Albel would kill him after regaining his adult-body if Cliff would ever do something like that.
Cliff really did no know *how* Fayt managed to control and come along with Albel 'the Wicked' Nox without any problems at all...
*****
Albel and Fayt were having a... err... conversation. About Albel taking a nap.
The child-formed Albel the Wicked was against the idea of taking a nap.
The stubborn Fayt Leingod was defending the idea of Albel taking a nap.
It seemed that Fayt was winning, if the way in which Albel yawned was any indication. But because the general of the opposing side was Albel Nox, the negotiations were not going anywhere fast. It was the very and true nature of the Elicoorian male to oppose peaceful negotiations if there was a possibility of having a real fight with swords and blood and armors and guts shields and gore and pain.
Unfortunately... general Albel was not as good as general Fayt in the way of deceiving. So it was kind of... predictable... that few minutes after Fayt began to do this so called 'reasoning' and 'deductive inquiring', Albel was somewhat tired of listening to the blue-haired youngster talking, speaking endlessly about the profits of taking a nap.
Albel fell into sleep because the Earthling blue-head did not know when to shut up his trap.
*****
Roger S. Huxley hated the child-Albel more than his younger siblings. He had hated the elder Elicoorian male from the beginning, but his feelings now were nothing like back then. Compared to what he was feeling right now it was possible to say that then Roger has *liked* Albel-moron.
It was an unchangeable truth that Roger was jealous. He had always known on some level that the relationship between Albel-idiot and Fayt was special and Fayt was more considerate towards Albel the Wicked than anyone else. The blue-haired youngster often talked with the bloody-eyed man about difficult things that Roger's mind could not even grasp. He remembered that strange conversation between Fayt and the torturer-Nox in Peterny before they headed to fight against the Marquis in Urssa Lava Caves. He had been secretly listening to the conversation nearby and they had been talking openly in the street so it really had not been spying or eavesdropping.
"There were lots of reasons I guess - your meddling and that celestial ship among them - but the fact is that we lost. Try as we might, we were unable to destroy Aquaria. In other words, we failed. There was something lacking that prevented us from winning. Do you know what it was? It's really quite simple."
"Are referring to why Aquaria won?"
"That's right. Despite the very real differences in strength between our kingdoms, we waged war against you because we thought we had a chance of winning. However, you can see the outcome. Why do you think this happened?"
"The King should've been more ruthless. Ruling a kingdom requires making tough decisions. It is important for a ruler to always consider the big picture and sometimes even be heartless."
"Well... You do have a brain in that head of yours. There is no end to people's desires. If you want to control the masses, you have to throw away the carrot and use the stick!"(1)
Roger knew that something had happened between those two on the following night, because suddenly those two elder males had talked more about even more difficult things than before.
It was an unchangeable fact that Roger was jealous of Fayt's time. After Albel had turned into a seemingly 'harmless' child, the Airyglyphian warrior had almost entirely filled Fayt's every moment of daytime and nighttime. Fayt no longer had time to do things with him and Peppita. The girl was not worried, telling Roger over and over again that Fayt would have more time to play with them when Albel would turn back to adult. Then she even spat out some bullshit how Fayt was 'soooo responsible adult' and 'will make an exceptional father'.
Roger did not want Fayt as a father. For a long time he had really, really thought that Fayt a was good example of a real man. Now he was not so sure anymore. Especially when he had heard Maria, Mirage, Nel and Clair mooning over the emerald-eyed young man and talking something strange how 'Albel's and Fayt's relationship is turning into a really hot and cute one'.
The Menodixian boy could not stop himself nor did he even try. "I HATE YOU, ALBEL NOX!!!!! You're no real man!!" Roger shouted as loud as he could in the empty park inside the wall of the castle of Aquaria and stomped his foot on the ground very childishly.
*****
Back in the inn Albel sneezed in his sleep - Fayt had talked him into taking a nap - and Fayt worriedly wondered if the other one was getting a cold. He was aware that it would not do at all. He had never really seen Albel ill, but if the current behavior the sword master was going through was any indication, Fayt was sure as Hell that he *really* did not want Albel Nox ill.
Carefully Fayt considered the possibilities that he had now hoped that he chose the most appropriate one. Slowly he shed all of his clothes, leaving himself bare. He pushed Albel's covers back and slipped in to the bed. Fayt pulled Albel into his arms, laid down, pulled the covers over both of them and determinately fell into sleep.
It might be needless to say, but Albel was rather pleased to find himself embraced by a naked Fayt when he woke up a few hours later. His only distress was that he really had no 'good' body to practice the kind of training he really wanted...
*****
Adray Lasbard had decided somewhere along his journey with master Fayt and lady Nel and their companions that things like 'marriage' and 'love' were nowhere as easy as he had originally thought. It was easy to fall in love and marry a person, but it was an entirely different thing if that chosen person was likeable for the parents too. For Adray's dismay it seemed that it was much, much easier for a child to choose someone unsuited - from father's point of view - than someone suited.
It was not like Adray had not liked Nel Zelpher - personally he had nothing against her - but it still bothered him that his pride and joy, his only daughter Claire had chosen another female as her partner of life and love. It time to time concerned Adray what would happen to the mighty House of Lasbard. It was usually then when Her Majesty the Queen Romeria the XXVII reminded him that the lady-heir of the House of Lasbard had several cousins that could be able to produce - and had already done that - a new heir to the household.
It was very intimidating to notice again and again how sharp woman the Queen of Aquaria really was...
The journey to save their entire universe did in many ways good for Adray. He was not by far a narrow-minded person, but his appearances and booming voice were quite an obstacle for people around him to realize it. He was in an age suited for being a grandfather, but because he had no grandchildren of his own, he had taken it upon himself to act as one in their little group. The youngest ones - girls Peppita and Sophia Esteed and boy Roger - had nothing really against his position. They rather welcomed his grandparenthood and actively looked for his presence and elderly wisdom and storytelling. Master Fayt Leingod and Maria Traydor were in *that* age. They really liked 'grandpa' Adray, but they knew lots and lots of things that the eldest male had no clue of. Still they listened to him and his experience of battles and wars. Nel honored him like her father-in-law. Cliff Fittir and Mirage Koas were more like son and daughter to him. And the infamous Captain Albel Nox... simply hated and was disgusted by Adray.
When Adray was at first for a moment joined to master Fayt and his companions, Adray had thought that there was no person that could ever like the Airyglyphian Captain or other way around. Then much later on he had inspected something unbelievable, unexpected in the Holder of the sword Crimson Scourge. He had noticed for his own amazement that the cold-blooded killer indeed respected and even *liked* the young leader of the mismatched group of travelers. And it was as amazing that master Fayt felt the same way towards the Airyglyphian warrior.
When Adray for the first time consulted the situation with Nel who had been with the others longer than Adray ever, he had learned that the Crimson Blade had also monitored the same kind of feelings between the two males as Adray. She had been worried too, but she had been quite adamant that if someone could stand up against Albel the Wicked$B!G(Bs bullying it was master Fayt. So Adray had decided not to worry but still keep an eye on those two.
That was the reason, why Adray Lasbard saw master Fayt's feelings growing more and more found and intense, even if he himself was not aware of it. That was the reason, why Adray Lasbard saw Captain Nox placing his entire trust on master Fayt guarding the other one's back, protecting the other one, even if he himself was not aware of it.
When Adray listened to young Roger screaming out his childish frustration and jealousy, he mused to himself how lucky he was when by examining the matters between master Fayt and Captain Nox, he had learned to be more accepting and tolerating.
Because feelings came in different forms and the thing called 'love' was no exception.
*****
[That the pain that I feel slowly fades away]
[It will be all right]
Sophia stared out of the window with dull, lifeless eyes. Her usually warm, brown eyes were now without the glint, the sparkle of happiness and pleasure, joy and lark. She sat still in the workshop in her chair without movement, no muscle twitching in her body. Her eyes were dry and the dried tears of her earlier breakdown were still staining her young face as the last orange, red rays of the sunlight fell over the unchanging mask of her face. Sophia was tired of crying. It did not change a thing anymore. She could cry no more, she could smile no more. This frozen, motionless moment, time, *body* felt good, dulled the pain inside.
[I know]
[I should realize]
Sophia looked out of the window staring at the gray stone wall of the house opposite. She was not aware of the slowly disappearing light and colors of the twilight. Her mind, soul was filled by black and darkness. She was not aware of the million stars looking down from the indigo, dark purple sky of nighttime.
[Time is precious]
[It is worthwhile]
Here, in Elicoor II, the stars did not connect like they did on Earth. They did not draw out the familiar shapes of Draco, Spica, Virgo, Leo major, Lynx or Argo(2). The familiar light of stars in those constellations was still there but because it came from the new place, perspective it turned into something frightening and strange, something unwanted. And yet they were unchanged.
[Despite how I feel inside]
Like those stars... the world had stayed same around Sophia. It was not like the air she was breathing would have changed into something other than oxygen or sun would have changed its course. Nothing like that, but it was more like she suddenly for the first time realized that this planet was no Earth, this place was not one of those simulator games that Fayt so much liked to play.
[Have to trust it'll be alright]
[Have to stand up to be stronger]
Then the moonlight hit on Sophia's face, startling her, and she shook off her daze. Really looking out of the window for the first time for the entire day she saw the world of black and white. It seemed so surreal and weird that it made her think if her world had always been like this. Only black and white denying all the important shades of gray. The world of colorless right and wrong, never asking anyone else's opinion. Was she always thinking that her point of view was the only and the right one? Sophia wondered had she ever asked *Fayt's* opinion about her dreams and hopes and she knew the answer without really thinking. She realized that if - even once - she had talked about her dreams with Fayt and asked what he was thinking of them, she might not now be in this situation.
[I have to try]
[To break free]
[From the thoughts in my mind]
Sophia took another glance out of the dirty-glassed window and studied what she saw more intensely. She compared what she saw and what she knew about her surroundings.
[Use the time that I have]
Sophia knew by heart the colors of the flowerbeds that crowded the city of Aquios, but now she could not see the colors, not even a single blooming flower. She knew that somewhere there in this world existed flowers that only bloomed under the full moon. She had seen them once, when she had followed the Airyglyphian swordsman and Fayt on their nightly training session. Fayt had noticed the flowers and commented something about them to the male with him. There had been a sneer of course, but surprisingly the bloody-eyed person had not tramped the flowers or taunted them anyway. Whatever he had said to Fayt, had been said so silently that Sophia had not heard. But the way Fayt had touched the Captain's shoulder had told more than words.
[I can say goodbye]
Sophia knew by her heart the colors of the walls of the houses that stood proudly in the city of Aquios, but she could no see the colors, not even a single shade. It was true that the houses were mainly built of stone and wood, but the used stones and woods were not only one shade of gray, brown. In many occurrences the wood was painted and the stones had stripes in shades of red, black and green. Once when for some unknown reason she had been traveling with Fayt and the younger Elicoorian male in the front group, Fayt had taught to her and the warrior eagerly looking for fights about the reasons why there were different kinds of rock types. Sophia could not really recall *why* he had talked about it and she really had no listened to him, only hearing the sound of Fayt's voice. Then Fayt had asked something folkloristic from the Airyglyphian menace, who had ignored the question entirely. It had been several hours later, when they had already camped for the night before the Airyglyphian had pulled Fayt with him. It had supposedly been another training session, but both of the youngsters had left their weapons behind and those, who had stayed in the camp, could hear the Captain's faint voice talking with Fayt.
[Have to make it right]
Sophia knew by her heart the sound of the buzzing, living city of Aquios and its streets, but she could not hear a sound, a breath. Of course she knew that it was nighttime and the glass of the window shut out all the faint noises that night produced. It was not hard for her to compare the stillness, the silence of the dead night as the deadliness, the coldness of the hard-eyed Airyglyphian. It was not hard for her to compare the liveliness, the noisiness of the busy day as her cheerful, her warm self. She could not understand *what* was so enchanting for Fayt in the cold-hearted, emotionless killer.
[Have to fight]
['Cause I know in the end it's worthwhile]
There was nothing Fayt could gain from the merciless penance and death, right?
[That the pain that I feel slowly fades away]
[It will be all right]
But Sophia knew that the things between the Earthling youngster and the Elicoorian man were not that easy by far. They never had been and they would never be. It really did not matter what term she used for the Captain of the Black Brigade. The scorning words only made Fayt sad and the Captain smirk with pleasure of acknowledgement. It was not like... 'Albel Nox'... changed because of the names which he was called by. He did not care, only enjoyed the horror behind those names.
[Oh, this night is too long]
Sophia gave up with her circling thoughts and stood up. It was not like she was going anywhere with her thinking. Her heart, head and soul still ached, but the fact that Fayt cared much more for... Albel Nox... than her, was undeniable. Now as well, she could just concentrate on finding the cure for the Potion of Youth (Real) she had made with Peppita and Puffy. Stalling the analysis any further would not do any good for her. Fayt's feelings would not change. Al-Albel Nox would not let go of his... prey. The world could not wait. The Creator would not stall the destruction of their universe just because Sophia Esteed was having the biggest crisis of her young life and love ever.
[Have no strength to go on]
So mournfully Sophia let it all slide. Her hate, her desperation, her feelings, her thoughts. She let it all go and slide until nothing more than exhaustion filled her. She needed nothing more than this emptiness that would in time heal her heart and soul before dissolving to be replaced by new, stronger feelings for someone other than Fayt.
[No more pain I'm floating away]
Sophia decided that she would support Fayt's choice no matter what would happen, what would come out of it. Fayt had never meant to harm her feelings. He was just sometimes so oblivious that he could not see what was plainly displayed in front of his very eyes. Albel Nox meant ill for Sophia, but she did not think that the blood-smelling Elicoorian would have developed feelings towards Fayt just to make her hurt. After all... 'Albel Nox' and 'feelings' sounded really strange in the same sentence.
So that things in the workshop would proceed undelayed on the following day, Sophia checked everything inside the grand room. She checked that there were enough items for the Compounding and enough... well... *everything* for the three girls to work side by side and still leave some space for others to work at the same time with their own projects.
It took more time than Sophia originally estimated, but it was worth it. Soon, soon they would be able to solve the problem behind the accursed Potion of Youth (Real). It was not like there had not been progress during these weeks after Albel's transformation, but Sophia's heart had not really been there, so the work had progressed slowly, very slowly. In fact if they had been progressing any slower, they would have gone backwards. Depressed Sophia had that kind of effect on people around her, working with her.
With the one, last glance inside the workshop Sophia decided that it was time for her to return back to the castle. She stepped out of the door closing it behind her and raised her eyes to scan the sleeping city around her. And so she saw something she had never thought she might see or experience. It was rather questionable if she even desired this kind of experience.
[Through the mist I see the face]
Under the palest moonlight, pulsating stars inside the rising night mist a person walked clothed on a long robe with sleeves so wide that they gently swept the cobble stones of the streets of Aquios. It was impossible to tell the real color of the robe because the moonlight and the mist faded away all the colors leaving only black and white. Because of the mist the person seemed rather gliding over the streets than walking on the streets. It was carrying something in its arms, protecting the bundle of black like it would have meant this person's entire life. Like it would have carried its soul in that darkness on its embrace.
[Of an angel, calls my name]
Two snake like, black-and-white things fell out of the black bundle and the hooded head descended over the darkness. The snakes twisted and turned like in their death throes. A small hand fell out of the darkness and swung back and forth lifelessly. The air was suddenly filled with thousands of sounds emphasized by the sheer silence of the night and the moist mist encircling everything in the city. The swish of the robe against skin, the stones. The murmur rising from the throat whispering unformed sound against the black bundle. The heavy, metallic cling of a chain floating before the unknown person. The hiss of pain. The pitter patter of the feet against the wet street. The swirling mist made the person, figure strangely appear as if it was fading in and out of reality, when it continued without straying from its pace.
A hazy cloud flowed in front of the moon. The night took one level darker shade. The shine of the stars seemed to come down from the heavens to decorate this... creature's... misty cloak as diamonds like honoring the Fallen Lord of Destruction walking among the mortals.
Carry the dead body of the beloved - a child, a spouse, a parent, a lover - with arms heavy as steel... into the Land of Death... and continue on to the World of Despair.
[I remember you're the reason I have to stay]
A new, thicker cloud found its way in front of the moon and the entire night became filled with darkness. The starlight was not enough to lighten the streets but only palely. The thick mist did not help at all in exploring the city. And then the cloud was gone exposing now the empty street. The unknown person was already gone.
[I have to try]
[To break free]
[From the thoughts in my mind]
[Use the time that I have]
[I can say goodbye]
Sophia Esteed was seventeen years old, when she realized that first loves were often one-sided and they hardly ever were meant to last. Especially when one did not do anything to tell the other side, what one was feeling thus eliminating the possibility of ever being loved back. She was still Fayt Leingod's dear childhood friend and now she could see that it was all she would ever be...
[Have to make it right]
[Have to fight]
['Cause I know in the end it's worthwhile]
[That the pain that I feel slowly fades away]
[It will be all right]
TBC...
*****
Author's Note 2: Due to my summer holiday and not having internet connection, my updates will be late. My deepest apologies. At the beginning of the new semester on fall, updates will go back to normal once a month. I hope you all can forgive me and continue reading even in this situation.
And I swear I was not going to turn this chapter into a songfiction. I had almost completed this chapter when I happened to listen to the album The Silent Force by Within Temptation. The lyrics of the song Pale struck me like a hammer, because they fitter so well on the parts with Sophia. After a long discussion with myself, I decided to put them into the fiction. I hope the lyrics do not bother you too much.
(1) This is partly conversation of Private Action 44 with the answer #3: 'The King should've been more ruthless.' It happens in Peterny before the PA, where you can choose whether or not Albel is your first choice of two chosable characters.
(2) I am not quite sure are these names of the constellations written in English or in Latin... Their names are different in Finnish so I am not entirely sure did I use the right names as the example here.
// 7 pages in Word (8 pages in Word with song)
// 5 351 words (5 611 words with song)