To Break a Hero

Miranda was the first one to recover, perhaps because she had no personal relationship with Kaidan. She whipped her hand out, sending a biotic wave towards him, which was immediately countered by Kaidan’s barrier. Shepard activated her cloak and danced out of the way, lining up to try and get a good shot at him.

Through the scope of her rifle, Shepard saw Tali deploy her combat drone and roll out of the way of one of Kaidan’s attacks. Shepard took a shot and saw Kaidan stagger backwards, leaving room for Miranda to slam him into the ground. Kaidan did a backflip to get on his feet and held his hand out again.

“I should have known you’d find this place, Shepard. You always were too smart for your own good.” Kaidan danced out of the way of Liara’s attack and threw a biotic attack at her. 

There were four of them and one of him. They should be able to take him. But just as they had done with Shepard, Cerberus had given Kaidan implants and improvements that made him almost inhumanly fast. Kaidan cloaked, avoiding an attack from Tali, and Shepard lost sight of him.

“Flush him out!” Shepard yelled, putting up her own cloak and moving back into a sniper position. Tali’s drone sparked, taking down Kaidan’s cloak, and Miranda and Liara flanked him, using biotic fields to keep him pinned.

Shepard took the shot and saw Kaidan’s shields collapse with a crackle of energy. She reloaded her rifle and steadied it to aim at him-

Her scope danced to give her a clear view of his face. Blood was trickling out from his nose as the biotics kept him pinned. Miranda and Liara had achieved some sort of communication and had maneuvered him against the wall, his arms splayed out, immobilized. Shepard realized she was breathing heavily. She had to end it, take him out.

“Shepard!” Kaidan gasped, his head tilted back. “What are you waiting for?”

Shepard felt a hand on her arm and saw Tali there. Her hands were shaking as she put her sniper rifle away. She’d lost the concentration necessary for a good shot. 

“Come on, Shepard,” Kaidan said. “You’re not a coward. I know that.”

Shepard’s hands were still shaking as she tried to bring out her submachine gun. “Here,” Tali said gently, handing over her pistol. Shepard nodded her thanks.

“Shepard,” Miranda said. “We can’t hold him forever.”

“I know.” Shepard walked in front of Kaidan and reached out her left hand to touch his cheek. “I love you, Kaidan,” she said, her voice breaking and turning high pitched as she did so. “I’ve always loved you. I’m going to make the Illusive Man pay for this. For what he did to you.”

“Shepard.” Kaidan’s voice was thick. “Shepard. I don’t have much time before he recovers. I’m so sorry. I love you too. I should never have doubted you.” He coughed. “Fitting that it should end here, on Horizon. If I’d just joined you then, none of this would have happened.”

“Kaidan,” Shepard said, her eyes closing as she leaned her forehead against his.

“There’s no bringing me back from this,” Kaidan said. His voice was weak. “You let me go, and I’ll keep hurting you. He’ll make sure of it. Shepard, please. You have to end this.”

Shepard’s vision was completely blurred. She took a step back and raised her right arm, fighting for the cold place inside her that kept her focused during battle. He was right. She had to end this. Her finger rested on the trigger of Tali’s gun.

“Shepard, please, do it. Kill me. Before he takes my body again. I want to die loving you, not Eva.”

Shepard took a deep breath and pulled the trigger, putting a bullet in Kaidan’s heart. She watched the life drain out of him in an instant, head slumping to the side. Miranda and Liara lowered their hands and let his body drop to the floor.

Jane Shepard bent over the body of her lover and wept. She was barely aware of Tali staying by her side, of Miranda and Liara going off to see what had happened to Henry Lawson. She’d killed Kaidan. She’d had no choice, but it had still been her that killed him, that shot him and watched him die. It had been a clean and efficient kill, almost a merciful one. That didn’t help much, certainly not enough to dull the sorrow and despair that was filling her.

Eventually, Tali chivvied her to her feet, one arm around Shepard as they followed Miranda and Liara out of Sanctuary.