Caranwyn's Tale: In Defence of Middle Earth

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To Arms

The girls slowed to a walk as they made their way towards their usual mess hall.  The streets were almost empty and a tense, waiting quiet seemed to reign.  Caranwyn felt her sister squeeze her hand as they walked, and glanced across at the other girl.  She smiled softly, but seemed to be thinking about something.  After a moment she spoke.

“It feels a bit strange, knowing that father knows.  I was sure there would be trouble, and consequences. This is… well, I’m not sure what to think.”  The small smile returned, but grew into a proper grin as Caranwyn giggled.

“Then don’t think about it.  It seems he doesn’t want to ask too closely, or tell anyone else, so nothing has really changed.  We will have to be more careful than that, though.”  Russellwen nodded, still biting her lip for the moment.

“I guess.  There was something else I wanted to talk to you about, before…” she hesitated, “before father caught us.”

“Hmm?”  Caranwyn raised her eyebrows, expectant, as she looked across at the other girl.  A hot blush was creeping across her features.  “What are you thinking about?”  Russellwen ducked her head, grinning again.

“That night,” she admitted; no further description was needed.  She continued.  “Before, I was telling you about Celegeth, and I was—”

“There you two are!”  The boy in question had rounded a curve in the street ahead and called out to them.  He waved, running forward until he could take Russellwen’s other hand and walk alongside them.  “Come on, the others are all waiting!”  Always active, Celegeth now seemed to be bouncing on his toes with anticipation, and looked much more the boy than the young man he was.  Caranwyn shook her head.

“Calm down, we’re coming.  Father only just told us.  You have the day free as well, there’s no rush.”  Celegeth darted around in front of them, walking backwards for a moment, then insinuated himself between them so that he could place his arms about each of their shoulders, grinning.

“I do indeed have a free day, oh Captain, and I should dearly like to spend as much of it as I may in the company of two beautiful women!”  With a quick glance at the empty street, he dared to give Russellwen a quick kiss on the cheek, then dashed forward ahead of them again as she blushed slightly, flashing a bright grin.  “Now, shall we?”  With a laugh, he broke into a dash, and they ran the rest of the way together.

A small cheer greeted the trio as they stepped through the doorway.  It came from a table near the back of the hall, where Garthstan, Belemir, Allagor and Denith had each raised a tankard to them in salute.  They made their way over to sit with them as Allagor drained his mug, then stood to get them both drinks along with his own refill.  When they were all seated again, Caranwyn took a sip of her drink; just clear, cold water, but all the more refreshing for it.  She looked at the others, nodding to them.

“Well men, here we all are at last.  Adults.  That’s frightening.”  She was rewarded by quiet laughter from the others.  Garthstan shook his head.

“I think the rest of the world has more to fear, now that you’re out of training, Captain.”  He smiled, his eyes dancing for a moment, then hesitated, taking another drink.  “And now you really are our Captain, ranked, sworn and all.  You must be one of the youngest ever.  How’s it feel?  I mean…”  He bit his lip before pushing on.  “No mark on you, Caranwyn, of course, but I’m surprised our Lord Steward accepted it, recommendations or not.”  Here, Caranwyn raised her eyebrows, but nodded anyway.

“Me too, a little.  He made a sort of compromise to keep everyone happy.  I don’t know how it feels yet, honestly.  Ask me after I’ve had my first real battle.  If I actually even see one, that is.”  She sighed, passing her tankard from one hand to the other on the table in front of her, but the others waited for her to continue.  They knew her too well by now.  “I’ve been given a task, along with the rank; I’m a captain, yes, but not of the City, or on his council.  I am a Captain, but I’m not your Captain, not formally, not yet.”  Beside her, Denith clapped her on the shoulder.

“You’ll always be our captain, Caranwyn, formal or not.  You don’t get a choice in it.”  The others laughed and cheered.  Caranwyn allowed herself a smile, feeling her cheeks warm slightly.

“Stuck with you, am I?  Hah, we’ll see.  So,” she lifted her eyes again to look between Garthstan, Allagor and Denith, the eldest of them, “Who did you three have to bribe to the day off along with the rest of us?”  Garthstan smirked.

“Well, I don’t know about these two, but I had a friend happy to cover for me.”  The other two nodded a quick affirmation to the same, but Garthstan’s face grew serious again.  “Caranwyn, what have you been assigned to do?”  She stretched her arms then folded them behind her head, leaning back.

“I guess this is the test for all of you.”  She took a breath, hesitating for a moment.  “I’m being sent away.  Far away.  Westward to Eriador, and away from the war.”  As she’d expected, Garthstan’s eyes blazed up and his fists clenched ahead of the others’ reactions.

“That isn’t fair!  He’s just sending you off out of danger?  It would have been kinder to refuse you!”  She raised her hands, trying to soothe him, though the others were nodding along with his sentiment, looking variously offended by the prospect on her behalf.

“Yes, Garthstan.  But it’s not that simple; there’s much more to it.  A lot of people will just see that Denethor is sending the young girl-child Captain out of harm’s way, for her own safety, on some menial errand, but I’ve been thinking about this since I left the Citadel, and I think it’s more complex.”  She leaned forward again, resting her chin in one hand and tapping her fingers.  “The ones who would complain about me, my youth, my gender... That is what they will see, and they will be content, but I’m being sent to maintain ties with the other lands at our back, and ensure that they remain safe, and I don’t think that our Lord, wise as he is, would take the time to task someone specifically with that if it was likely they were safe already.”  She paused, picking her words.

“I do not believe I’m being sent to safety at all.  I find myself thinking about the strengths upon which I was put forward; my ability to assess situations, and react decisively, and quickly, most of all.  I think Lord Denethor doesn’t know what I’ll find in Eriador, but he knows, or suspects, that it won’t be as peaceful as it ought to be.  He’s sending me to appease his other generals and captains, yes, but also because he wants someone flexible and adaptable to read and act appropriately.  I can be that for him.”  When she finished, she took another drink, then looked around at her friends.  Most seemed to be thinking now, though Garthstan still glared at the table-top.  Amongst them, only Celegeth seemed distressed now, though his anxiety was apparently mounting.  She arched her eyebrows at him and he swallowed, his eyes darting to Russellwen and back again.

“Captain, have… have you been assigned a company under your command on this mission as well?  I’ve not heard anything about it.  I…”  He paused, braced himself, then continued.  “I know, Captain, that wherever you go, Russellwen will follow; that being so, I wish to volunteer to serve under you, if I may, even if your road takes us far from home.”  On her other side, Caranwyn could feel her sister blushing at his frankness, though she could tell the girl was smiling.  A few of the others half-hid smirks, but Caranwyn cast a serious eye at each of them.

“This is what I meant, when I said it would be a test.  I have been given leave to select my own men, for this mission, from those who will follow me, who have been tasked with no other special duties.  I can think of no others I would rather have by my side, heading into the unknown, than each of you.  So I ask you, each of you, soldiers of Gondor.  Will you march with me, under my command, far from this City, your homes, and your families?  Will you leave your loved ones behind, to go with me?”  She could hear the gravity in her voice, and held her breath.  It was a big thing to ask that they come true to assurances made in childhood, as children, and the request was no small thing in itself.  Her eyes flicked to Garthstan as he drew breath to speak.

“All my life I have trained, knowing that it would be to one day fight the Enemy as his forces poured out of the east.  I have long desired to take up arms both to defend that which we love, and in vengeance for what has been lost.  At last, I have met them in open battle, and reclaimed from those forces a small part of something that was taken, old and ruined though it be.  It was all I had hoped, and I long for the next time my blades will sing, as then.  Some say that battle isn’t glorious, and they are right; but it is worth it, to know that by your arms, others are kept safe.  If I leave with you, it may be a long time before I face our true Enemy again.”  Caranwyn let her eyes drop as he stood from the table.  She knew how much he wished to fight.  Her gaze came up again, meeting his eyes as his voice continued.

“Long ago, by a river, you taught me a very important lesson, Caranwyn, and I made you a promise.  I will not forget either of them.  Did you even need to ask?  I am yours, and I will follow where you lead.”  He raised one hand over his chest in salute and bowed his head towards her.  “My Captain.”  There was a warmth and conviction in his voice that brought a hot prickle to her eyes.  Her throat felt tight as she tried to reply, but already the others were beginning to stand as well.  Beside her, Denith saluted her, grinning.

“Without question, my Captain.”  He glanced sidelong to Belemir, next to him, who followed.

“Without a doubt, Captain.”  Allagor was next, inclining his head as he saluted.

“Without hesitation, my Captain.”  Celegeth looked at the others slightly incredulous, one eyebrow raised, almost in accusation, before he smiled, his eyes twinkling.

“Without a suitably dramatic assurance in mind, yes, my Captain.”  Though the others burst into good-humoured chuckles at him, Caranwyn was still trying to work moisture into her throat.  She fought the tears, truly she did, but as she blinked they broke free from the corners of her eyes and slipped down over her flushed cheeks.  Under the table, she felt Russellwen reach out to take her hand and hold it tightly, and she squeezed back.  Taking a deep breath, she looked around at each of them again, blinking her eyes clear and trying to retain some form of composure, the relieved and joyous smile taking control of her features unquenchable.  At last she stood, wiping her eyes quickly, then returned the salute to her men, bowing to them in return.

“Thank you.”  Nothing else came, so she repeated it.  “Thank you all.”  They stood for a moment, solemn, before the mood relaxed and Garthstan retrieved his tankard, draining it.

“So, sir, when do we leave?”  Caranwyn ran a hand through her hair as she reclaimed her seat, then looked about the table as the others did the same.  She made an apologetic gesture.

“Three days, I’m afraid.  Not long, I know.  We’ve all got the day off, but you’ll all need to see to your preparations; the journey will be a long one.  You’ll each need to speak to your watch captains, and let them know you’ve been sequestered for this mission.  That will free you from your regular duties to make ready, until we depart.  Spend time with your families; it may be a long time before we see home again.”  The others finished their drinks quickly, and Garthstan stood, nodding to her.

“I had hoped that we might spend the day wandering the city all together, like we used to, before our duties separated us further, but I see now that I needn’t have worried.  Many things to do and people to see.  By your leave, Captain, I’ll see you again soon.”  Caranwyn nodded in return and the group began to disband.

The weight of what they were soon to undertake began to settle in as Caranwyn made her gradual way back towards their home.  Russellwen had decided to visit the healing houses again once they had left the mess hall, needing to speak to the other women there about how to prepare for the journey and what she should take, or leave.  The others had been headed in different directions as well, each to seek out their commanding officers with the news of their assignment.  Caranwyn herself, however, had no-one to report to; her father was the one who needed to know of her mission the most, if he didn’t already, and they would talk about everything that mattered over the evening meal.

Unsure what else to do, she had decided to begin working out how she would pack for the expedition at home.  The midday bells sounded through the city as she walked, their echoes resounding through the levels and ringing back and forth between the buildings.  The tolling quickly faded, though, and it served only to make Caranwyn more keenly aware of how quiet the city had become, so different from the years of her youth.  She had caught herself pondering the silence more often of late; it unsettled her, even understanding that the city was in a constant posture of war these days.

It dragged at her any time she became aware of it; this was Minas Tirith, the White City: it simply felt so, so wrong that the sound of the wind moving through the levels should be the loudest sound to her ears most of the time.  No other word came to her mind to describe what she felt, listening to the quiet; wrong was the only description.  And sad, her heart added a moment later.  She shook her head, trying to brush off the feeling, then took a deep breath.  Stopping for a moment, she closed her eyes and turned her head towards the sky, letting the sense of melancholy dissipate.

“Captain Caranwyn?”  A voice behind her, up the hill a short distance, made her turn with a small start.  It belonged to a man every bit as stern and rough as the voice itself, solid in his step as he moved towards her.  Caranwyn recognised the man, though she couldn’t recall his name.  He was one of Denethor’s generals; of that much she was certain.  He stopped a few feet away, saluting with a sharp motion, and Caranwyn felt his eyes bore over her like a waterfall.  She nodded to him and returned his salute, and he sighed.

“It seems Lord Denethor has gone through with this madness then.  It seems even more a joke now that I come face to face with you.”  He shook his head, displeased, but Caranwyn fought to keep her face smooth.

“If there is some joke, then perhaps you could share it with me, and we could both be mirthful.  The city could certainly use more good humour, in these days.”  Though she kept her features calm, she couldn’t keep the small hint of ire from her voice.  The older man grunted.

“You’re a child, an infant, and a girl-child at that.  That is the joke, Captain Caranwyn,” he growled her title, “and no matter how you try to hide it with armour and a man’s haircut, your womanly nature will destroy you in a heartbeat on the field of real war.  Why Lord Denethor, in his wisdom, cannot see this is beyond me.”  The man was scowling now, and Caranwyn gave up trying to pretend unconcern.  Her eyebrows drew down as she responded.

“Then if it is beyond you, Captain-general, be content and see to your duties, and consider that our Lord Denethor, in his wisdom, is very likely far wiser and more insightful than you.”  At her response the older man snarled before mastering himself.

“If you were my child, I would strike you for speaking so.”

“Then I count myself fortunate that I am neither a child, nor yours.  I am, indeed, your equal, Captain-general, and would be spoken to with the courtesy that befits such.  I would also know your name, as you have me at a disadvantage there.”  He glowered at her, stepping forward to emphasise the fact that he loomed over her by almost a foot.  If they stood and locked wills for another hour or two he would cast her entirely in shadow.

“You will never be the equal of any man in the arts of war and tactic, no matter your rank or station.  That is simply a fact of the world, Captain.”  Her title was the tersest point of the sentence this time, snapped out tightly, and he seemed vaguely disappointed that she had not stepped back, or moved in any way.  He continued.  “I am Captain-general Annuisûl, commander in arms of the Second Company, and I have been tasked in this hour, much against my better judgement, to teach you the lesser and greater pass-words of the City.  I would normally simply speak them and their relevant wards to you, but I suspect in your case that I will need to repeat them to you several times before you remember.  Such is the way of women.  Come, and we will find a place to sit.”  Already Caranwyn found herself calmer in the face of his ill-temper, allowing herself a small, challenging grin instead of letting her anger show.

“I see no need, Captain Annuisûl, as I’m sure we will be heading in different directions once your duty is seen to, and I assure you, once will be enough.  Of course, if your old bones would prefer to rest and sit, I have no objection; I have no need to rest, however.”  The corner of his mouth twitched, held under rigid control, and they watched one another in silence briefly.  She waited a few more moments, then raised her eyebrows at his tight features.  “Captain?  The pass-words?”  At last he unclenched his teeth.

“Fine.  It’s not as though there is ever anyone in the streets to overhear these days.  The whole City is far too quiet these days, not that a child like you would have noticed it.  We’ll start with the lesser pass-words.”

It was a very stony few minutes that passed as Caranwyn listened to each set of words, and the various restricted areas they were for, repeating each back with a small nod in between.  The midday sun bore down on them overhead, but she knew that it would be irritating Annuisûl, in his full guard’s armour, far more than her, standing in the exposed street as they were.  He took every opportunity to remind her that the pass-words were important, and not to be used pointlessly by frivolous girls just to go where they had no business being, but the faint hint of perspiration on the man’s forehead was enough to cool her own ire.  That it was, in fact, a fierce temptation to do exactly as he warned against and explore all the places she’d never been allowed to go, was a point she knew far better than to admit to aloud.  Eventually it was done with and Caranwyn nodded a final time to her instructor.

“Thank you, Captain Annuisûl.  I understand how much my form displeases you, but allow me to ask you a serious question, one commander to another.”  She took a moment to ensure she had his attention.  “When the day comes that you must work in tandem with my own command and strategy, and we must rely upon one another to succeed, will you trust me, as an equal, or will you allow your own beliefs to get in the way of your sworn duty, and disregard me?  It is important that I know such things before they occur.”  Annuisûl looked off to the side, unsettled by the question.  He sighed and shook his head.  When he spoke his voice sounded heavier and more tired that it had a moment before.

“I can only answer that I hope such a dark day never comes to pass.”  He looked back long enough to offer her a salute.  “Good day to you, Captain.”  She returned the gesture and watched the man turn, retreating back the way he had come with the same long, efficient strides he had first approached her with.

By the time she got home her instinctive defiance had faded, and the other captain’s scorn had begun to weigh on her mind.  How many felt as he did, she wondered, and would any of them actually take her seriously at all?  It was bad enough that a part of her mission was intended to allow them to think that she was being sent away out of danger, as a woman should be, according to them, but she needed to go along with it, just to maintain the peace between the Captains.

In her bedroom, she began to go through her possessions, working out what she would bring, or wouldn’t, but soon gave up, her mind distracted.  She was sitting on her bed, arms wrapped around her knees, lost in thought when Russellwen arrived.  Caranwyn looked up as the other girl entered the room, and heard the fading echoes of the evening bells, distant in the City.  She must have been sitting for hours.

“There you are!  Have you been home all this time? I—” Her smile faded, replaced by concern.  “Caranwyn, what’s wrong?”  Looking down again, Caranwyn bit her lip, not answering right away.  She felt her sister sit down on the bed beside her, waiting.

“I’m trying to find the words.  We’re all on the same side, sworn to hold back the forces of the Enemy, together, but…” She lifted her eyes again, shifting to rest her chin in one hand.  “That’s not all we have to fight, you and I.”  With a sigh she began to tell Russellwen about her earlier meeting with Captain Annuisûl, and his undisguised disgust at the combination of her gender and position.  She shook her head as she finished the recount.

“Denethor told us that there were those who had wished that we were males, to remove the problem, as they saw it, but this was worse than that.  He honestly didn’t believe any of the reports from anyone else about my capabilities, just because… because of…” letting out an exasperated sigh she grabbed at her chest for a moment, making an exaggerated gesture.  “Because of these!”  As she had hoped, the action drew a small smile and a muffled giggle from Russellwen.  Caranwyn shook her head once more, this time in somewhat better humour, and sidled over on the bed until she could lie out flat without pushing her sister off.  She stretched, putting her hands behind her head and uttered the small, dismissive sound that had long meant something between ‘never mind’ and ‘forget’ between them.  She watched the other girl stifle a yawn behind her hand, brought on by Caranwyn’s own luxuriant stretching.

“How did things go up at the healer’s?  I was thinking about how to prepare here, with my own things, but I didn’t get that far.”  At this Russellwen brightened somewhat.

“Actually that went quite well.  I spoke to some of the other women there about it, and many of them have been out on small scouting expeditions before, for many days.  I had hoped to speak to mother about it, but she was very busy, and I know better than to distract her when she’s like that.  Though I hope it doesn’t come to it, I’ll be the only one with enough training to take care of anyone if there’s a serious injury, so we decided that I should prepare to travel as though I was the healer for a troop, rather than another soldier.  I guess it makes sense.  Anyway, I was thinking—” They both stopped and looked to the doorway of their bedroom as the sound of the home’s front door drifted through to them.  There was the quiet sound of voices that they couldn’t’ quite hear as well, a sign that both of their parents had arrived home.  They would both have more duties to see to in the later evening, but their arrival meant it was time for their evening meal.

As they headed out to assist in the brief preparations, it occurred to Caranwyn that, once she returned, they would likely no longer share their evening meals alone as a family like this anymore; such only happened in the households of couples with children, generally, and less so the more the city had assumed a war-ready footing.  When they returned, they would be treated in every way as grown adults, unmarried or attached, and would be expected to take their evening sup in the mess hall with the other soldiers.  It was saddening thought.  A solemn sense of finality plagued her as she continued to help with the preparations.

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