Parallax

A/n: I’m not dead, nor have I forgotten this fic. Life’s been hectic lately. I’ve finished up classes for the semester and I’ve been having major noise issues with my neighbors below me. So, in the next month, I will be moving (just across town, fortunately). I’m sorry this chapter is so short, but I figured that it was way overdue and that I needed to get it out and fast. The longer I sit on this chapter and stew about how displeased I am with it, the longer it will just sit on my computer. So here’s my micro-chapter :P


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“No, it’s not,” Shepard insisted, stamping her foot at her frustrating Lieutenant.

“It’s got hands,” Kaidan gestured to the creature in front of them, “it’s got a long, prehensile tail. It’s a space monkey.”

The Commander rolled her eyes and knelt down to inspect the creature. Unlike the wild animals of Earth, this one was not immediately afraid of humans. It had large, glassy eyes and a long, thin snout. There was no denying that its body was similar to that of a monkey. Shepard cautiously reached out to touch the animal.

It hesitated at being touched then decided it didn’t want to be touched. In a split second, the creature was gone. Shepard sighed and stood.

“Well,” she turned around, “I guess it’s time to check the mineshaft.”

“Right behind you, Commander,” Kaidan called out to Shepard.

“I can feel that you’re right behind me, Kaidan,” she blinked. Shepard felt a pair of hands gripping her hips and something else poking into her bottom.

The Lieutenant merely laughed, the sound coming from further behind the Commander than she expected. Shepard glanced down to see a long, thin space monkey snout poke its way between her thighs. She bent over to look the bold creature in the eyes.

“Excuse me, sir,” Shepard giggled, “but you are getting mighty fresh with me.”

The creature responded with a strange noise that sounded like a mix between a purr and an owl’s hoot. Shepard shook her head, sighed, and began to waddle toward the mine shaft, the space monkey hanging off the back of her hips and peering between her legs. She continued to attempt to walk before huffing and peering down at the creature once again.

“I’m having a bit of trouble walking, you know,” she addressed the monkey.

And oddly enough, it clambered up to her shoulders where it wouldn’t hinder her progress. Shepard turned around to speak to her Lieutenant, the monkey’s tail wrapping around her bicep.

“This guy needs a name,” she said.

“How do you know it’s a guy?” Kaidan asked.

“Because I can feel his balls on the back of my neck,” Shepard chuckled.

The Lieutenant cringed in disgust.

“What?” Shepard laughed, “they’re just balls. It’s not like he’s humping me.”

“It’s still balls,” Kaidan murmured.

The creature began to gently run its hands through Shepard’s hair, its nails lightly scratching her scalp.

“This is nice,” Shepard smiled, “I wonder if he gives massages?” She approached the mineshaft and pressed the button to open the large door.

“I could give you a massage too,” Kaidan huffed, his words not meant for the Commander to overhear.

“You’ve got him beat if your massage includes a happy ending,” Shepard smirked and turned to pin her Lieutenant with her sultry gaze.

“Of course it would,” he replied. His mouth went dry as his Commander turned around with a wink and continued to descend into the cavern below. He watched her shapely ass jiggle under her obscenely tight armor; before he knew it, his mouth ran away on him again. “Though there’s no telling what I’d do to you when I get you under me.”

Shepard’s stride faltered; it was the only indication Kaidan had that the Commander had indeed heard him. He didn’t see her bite her lip in thought nor did he see how her face turned red.

Her thoughts ran wild at her Lieutenant’s declaration. But was he all talk? Did his words have any intent behind them?

“Then we’ll have to see later, won’t we?” she asked, glancing back to the flabbergasted Lieutenant.

Tali stood off to the side and listened intently at the couple’s sexual banter. To the quarian, the topic of discussion was as foreign as the quietness of the Normandy. Her people had sex to create more quarians; sex was not looked upon as something recreational. But humans had an interesting culture that, in a large part, revolved around sex. Tali was curious and didn’t mind that she was being ignored to a certain extent.

She silently followed the couple and the curious little creature that clung to Shepard’s shoulders.


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At some point during the geth firefight, the monkey jumped off of Shepard. The Commander wondered why the geth arrived shortly after the ground crew had successfully retrieved the module. Were the geth working alone? Did they want the data or did they want to kill her? Had they known she would be there?

A tech mine flew out from behind cover, its explosion destroying the last of the geth.

“Clear,” Kaidan declared. He holstered his sidearm and looked over at Shepard, patiently waiting for orders.

The Commander looked around the cavern. Geth were strewn about the base of the cave; various fluids leaked from the silent machines’ wounds. Overturned crates lay riddled with bullet holes. Off to the side, a fire containment cell squealed loudly, the last sound of the quick skirmish.

And all around lay the tiny corpses of monkeys that were caught in the crossfire.

“Little monkey man?” Shepard called out, her voice resembling the questioning tone of a child.

There was no response.

Kaidan’s heart fell. He knew Shepard had a soft spot for animals, and in their line of work it was more often that one saw a dead soldier than a dead animal.

“He could have escaped. He…” Kaidan trailed off, knowing that Shepard wouldn’t be fooled.

“Let’s just go,” she sighed, “I want to get out of here. Now.”

The Lieutenant nodded in response, silently following her from a distance.

And even when they made it back to the ship and had set course for Ontarom, Shepard was silent. After a few hours, Kaidan had enough of the silence. He shut down his console work and headed to Shepard’s quarters.

Maybe it was silly that he check on the battle-hardened Commander after the death of an anonymous space monkey. Maybe he just wanted to talk to her. He certainly didn’t intend to snoop.

Kaidan’s finger pressed the button to open the door. It was locked; he moved to press the door’s chime button. The door opened a crack.

“Hi,” Kaidan drawled, “Can I borrow a cup of sugar?”

There was no response. He sighed. He’d been saving that line for a while and now it was wasted.

The Lieutenant glanced around before stepping into Shepard’s quarters. The doors closed behind him and he was alone with a trail of clothes that led to the Commander’s running shower. His eyes fell upon the last two articles of clothing. Kneeling down, Kaidan hooked the strap of the bra with his finger.

Lacy.

He turned the sheer bra around to read the size label then dropped it back onto the floor. And though almost every fiber of his being told him to leave, Kaidan opted to stay and pick up Shepard’s panties. They were lacy too.

Thong.

It was a thong not unlike the one he’d accidentally been exposed to a few days earlier. Turning it around, he admired the bow on the back. His eyes widened when he heard a moan drift out from Shepard’s bathroom.

Had his ears deceived him?

“She’s just enjoying her shower,” he murmured, “get your mind out of the gutter, Alenko.”

Another moan sounded; it wasn’t the kind one would normally make in a shower.

Kaidan’s mouth went dry and his brain shut down. He patiently awaited the next noise that would drift out of the door in front of him.

“Oh my God! What the hell are you doing in here?!!” came from the Commander’s bathroom; it was not what he’d expected to hear.

Kaidan dropped the panties and skittered toward the door, mumbling apologies as he went. Thankfully, there was nobody around to witness the Lieutenant’s hasty escape. He slinked back to his console and pretended to work. After the shock of being caught wore off,the self-flagellation began.

What the hell was he thinking?

Sure, he and Shepard were close, but that gave him no excuse to barge into her quarters unannounced. It certainly didn’t excuse him from examining her unmentionables. And the listening! Why did he listen in on Shepard’s activities while she was in the shower?

Like a drooling letch, he’d stood there, her panties in his hand, waiting for her to keep moaning. He knew better than to do that. Kaidan had always made it a point to treat women with the respect and dignity they deserved.


He’d broken his code of conduct and would find some way to make it up to Shepard.