Cross Blades

Cross Blades

Chapter the Tenth: Usze’s Desires


Usze dozed somewhere between sleep and wakefulness. He remembered eating “breakfast” in this very bed; the bowl still sat on the end table, with only a few wisps of sauce remaining long enough to dry into crust. He flushed as he also remembered Nitro’s so-called dessert. Next to the meat bowl sat the massage bar, which was probably apt to leave a stain, but Usze no longer cared.

Usze preferred to spend his time remembering how it had felt to rub N’tho with that bar. He shifted slightly and Nitro’s oil-slicked skin slid over his in a way that made him moan.

N’tho was curled up against him, sound asleep. By the Forerunners, they were still exhausted; they had stroked one another, and whispered in each other’s earbuds and held each other and somewhere along the line they must have drifted off together.

Usze felt a brief flicker of guilt. It was quickly extinguished by a montage of images—the Flood, the mad dash across the half-completed Halo, the back half of Forward Unto Dawn falling out into oblivion. The memories made Usze shake and press closer to N’tho. The Ascetics could not begin to comprehend what Usze had survived. They could not judge him.

The feeling of N’tho next to him washed that guilt away in a tidal wave of emotion.

Part of it was delight in the knowledge that N’tho was still in his bed. Part of it was the comfort of another body next to him; a pleasure he had not enjoyed since he was a child. But most of it was a growing awareness of certain specific factors: N’tho’s scent, the seductive caress of his skin against Usze’s, the soft sighing of his breath. Other factors, like the objects in the room or the sense of time passing, vanished completely from Usze’s perception. Usze felt his own temperature rising, his mouth salivating as if for a meal, and his mind becoming increasingly focused on the nerves in his groin, tingling, aching, his shaft emerging and hardening…

N’tho cuddled against him in his sleep, and his hand brushed Usze’s flank and the Blademaster moaned aloud.

‘Taham jerked his head around, for fear the sound had awoken N’tho, but ‘Sraom continued to sleep soundly.

Usze extended one trembling hand to rub N’tho’s shoulder blades. The other Sangheili purred loudly and nuzzled his face against ‘Taham’s chest. Usze looked down to see a big fat smile on N’tho’s face.

By the Ancestors, N’tho was so uninhibited. The SpecOps warrior knew what he liked and wasn’t afraid to let everyone see. Usze, meanwhile, was still struggling with the confusion, shame, and fear that resulted from letting even the smallest cracks form in his cool exterior.

What could N’tho possibly see in him? Usze screwed his eyes shut, feeling sick. Once they left Earth—once N’tho was back with his comrades in the Fleet—‘Sraom, now a hero, would be able to find much more exciting sexual partners than an inexperienced ex-Ascetic. Aristocratic arrogance could only carry him so far when there was no practice behind his boasts.

N’tho bunted him, seeking more. Usze rubbed the other Sangheili’s back and N’tho purred happily. The vibrations from N’tho’s chest massaged Usze’s skin and…and…

If Usze shifted a little, he could feel N’tho’s purr against his shaft and… Usze gritted his mandibles. Was he taking advantage of N’tho? Why didn’t N’tho wake up and… so good…Nitro felt so good…

…more…

Usze didn’t know how long he lay there, his mind wracked by fantasies and guilt, his body torn by these new and powerful sensations as his partner slept on, oblivious. Usze did know, however, that he was becoming more and more keyed-up, until his whole body was trembling with passion denied. His mandibles flickered as muscles twitched involuntarily. Did he dare touch himself, with N’tho draped against him? What if…

“Did I miss something?” a voice mumbled.

Usze struggled to reassert control, feeling his body scream in protest and pain as he half-rolled away from N’tho. N’tho pursued him, cuddling up behind him and wrapping an arm over his chest. ‘Taham was humiliated to hear a little moan escape his mandibles—but it felt wonderful, to have the other male spooned against him! N’tho seemed to like it too, because he resumed his purring. Usze could feel the rumbling vibrations through his back. It made him smile. When N’tho stroked the scar on his belly, Usze began to let out some purrs of his own.

Then N’tho’s hand drifted downward.

“Oh…looks like I definitely missed something,” N’tho said and Usze wondered how it was possible to be so frightened and yet so very excited at the same time. His mandibles clicked as N’tho’s hand gently encircled him. “What a nice way to wake up,” N’tho murmured in Usze’s earbud. “And what can I do for you now, sir?”

Usze, who was still trying to wrap his thoughts around the idea of having a bed mate—and the physical reactions that a bed mate caused—could not bring himself to contemplate what it might be like to mate with N’tho, right here, right now. He certainly could not manage to articulate that phrase. It was all so sudden, so fast, so overwhelming…

“We missed the SpecOps party,” he said instead.

“Did we?” N’tho responded with a sly grin. He stroked the other male’s cheek. “Seems to me we have our own party right here.”

Usze closed his eyes. Yes, they did. And there was something he could ask for that would feel very nice and wasn’t all that different to what they’d done before.

“Could you…” Usze panted. His throat closed off from nerves.

“Yes?”

“Shadow of Intent…”

“What about Shadow of Intent?” N’tho asked, licking at Usze’s neck.

“And this afternoon….would you…”

“Hmm?”

Damn him! The Minor Domo was doing this on purpose!

“I…I want…”

Words failed him.

“I can’t say it,” Usze confessed.

“But you want?” N’tho asked, stroking Usze’s side.

“I want…my turn this time,” Usze managed.

N’tho replied in a slow whisper, “Sure, we can do that.” He allowed his hand to drift from base to tip. Usze moaned, impatient, aching…

N’tho tightened his grip, and started to rub, but only the very tip of him. Usze, confused, thrust forward. Every time he rocked his hips, he drove himself deeper into N’tho’s fist, and the deeper he went, the more of N’tho’s grip he had around himself, the better and better it felt…

Another thing N’tho was doing on purpose, Usze realized.

N’tho’s breath was hot on Usze’s neck. “Tell me what you like.”

“Slow,” Usze breathed. “Go slow…and gentle…” Slow enough for him to have some time to understand these sensations …

Then he gasped, because N’tho was moving very slowly indeed and without even knowing it he had started writhing, thrusting harder and faster in search of more stimulation. Nitro was laughing deep in his throat; Usze felt a spark of anger, wondering if the other Sangheili was mocking him, but when N’tho started to lick the back of his neck, Usze lost his ability to care.

Somewhere in the back of his mind, through a haze of pleasure and the pounding of his hearts anticipating more delight ahead, came the awareness of a pressure behind him, nudging his buttocks apart, something very hard and firm… It pressed against him insistently. Usze found himself shifting his hips instinctively, seeking, searching for the place where that pressure would feel best. It was truly amazing just how much of this sex business was instinct, even between two males. It was as though Usze’s body already knew what to do, and the only decision he needed to make was whether or not to allow nature to take its course. The decision was easy when the reward for an affirmative answer felt so amazing…

Usze thrust back, hard, and suddenly felt a strange stretching sensation. It froze him with a sudden realization.

That was…

Were they mating?

Usze shifted his hips away. The pressure was gone. No, they weren’t mating yet. N’tho wasn’t inside him.

The relief of this thought was followed by a sharp pang of loss. What had happened had been unexpected and somewhat scary, but it had also felt nice.

All those fantasies he hadn’t let himself dwell on suddenly forced themselves into his mind in a torrential rush. How would it feel to be mounted? How would it feel to surrender himself? How would it feel to forget about rules and codes of conduct and the judgments of others, in favour of sharing himself with another…completely?

Admit it, Usze. You want him.

Let him.

‘Taham let his hips shift again, but he couldn’t seem to find the place. Suddenly Nitro’s hand on his shaft wasn’t quite enough. He thrust backward desperately, seeking, whimpering…

Nitro, I need you, please…

Yes! There. That wonderful pressure returned—the feeling of N’tho nudging him, seeking entrance…yes, that’s what he wanted…more of that…

“Uzi,” N’tho said urgently. “Usze.”

Usze opened his mandibles and managed, “Wha….”

“Uzi, if we don’t…” N’tho was panting. “…don’t stop, I’m gonna end up mating you.” He pulled away, leaving Uzi’s back suddenly cold.

“Is that…so bad…” By the Rings, he was panting too.

This was all happening so quickly. So soon. Shouldn’t there be more talking? More exploration? More thought about what it all meant?

His body screamed one thing: Nitro. Now.

“I thought you were in…a hurry,” he gasped.

“I thought you wanted to go slow.” N’tho nuzzled him, a quiver in his voice. “But it’s okay. Just tell me what you want.”

A Perfect Warrior does not hide behind falsehoods.

“You,” Usze confessed.

He was no Perfect Warrior. He was a slave to emotion, to lust, to a slut of a SpecOps Minor Domo. He would do whatever N’tho asked. He would love doing it.

“I want you,” Usze whispered, “to mount me.”

Nitro pulled away, visibly shocked. “Uzi…I…”

Uzi averted his gaze, his cheeks purpling, his expression ashamed. “You don’t have to,” he said quietly, “if you don’t want to.”

‘Sraom reached out and took the Blademaster’s hands in his. “I’ve never done that before,” he said, his voice thick.

It was Usze’s turn to look surprised. “Your bed mates…they never…they didn’t…”

Nitro shook his head.

‘Taham felt a sudden surge of gratification, and hard on its heels was a diamond-edged rage. “They didn’t deserve you,” Usze growled, wrapping his arm around N’tho’s neck and pulling the SpecOps warrior close to him. How could they have been fortunate enough to have Nitro and not cherished him? How could they have taken without giving? How could they have not wanted to give themselves to him? He could feel Nitro against him, so strong, so firm, so… His body ached with a crippling combination of loneliness and desire. “I want you,” the Blademaster choked. “And I want to share this with you. Mount me, Nitro…please… mount me now…”

He was begging. It was shameful. It was dishonourable.

It was honest.

Nitro had broken him.

“Get up,” N’tho said roughly.

Usze barely contained a sob. “Nitro…”

“Not like this,” N’tho muttered. “I will, but not like this.” He got up, staggered across the room. “Pick up the pillows and come here.”

A Minor Domo had no business commanding a Blademaster.

Usze, meekly, went.

*

N’tho breathed in Uzi’s scent as he wrapped his arms around the other male. He was hot and excited at the idea of mounting, oh yes he was, but there was some other strange feeling worming its way through his insides.

Would it be so wrong for you and I to share something special?

“If you forgive my inexperience,” N’tho whispered, “I’ll do this for you.”

“You’ve forgiven mine,” the Blademaster replied softly, clinging to him. The pillows fell from Uzi’s arms onto the floor.

“Put those pillows in a pile,” N’tho murmured into his partner’s earbud, “and kneel on them.”

His hearts were hammering a mile a minute. He never thought he’d see Uzi so demonstrative. In the bed, the other Sangheili’s hide had been blazing hot, his opening flared for mounting, his shaft hard as iron and his whole body twitching involuntarily with pent-up lust. The cool, collected Blademaster was gone, replaced by a near-virgin who was overwhelmed by his own desire and…

…and just so hungry and responsive. It was as though he couldn’t get enough of anything Nitro did to him.

It was as though he looked up to Nitro to teach him what pleasure felt like.

With that as an incentive, it was hard not to be turned on. In fact, N’tho had pushed Usze as far as he dared and then farther, just waiting for Uzi to put the brakes on, trying to see how long it would take for ‘Taham to stop him.

Instead, Uzi had merely deferred him for a matter of seconds, only to call his bluff. Now Nitro had to make good on all his teasing.

He told himself that if his technique left something to be desired, it wasn’t as though Uzi would know any better. Usze had no one to compare him to. There was a measure of comfort to be found in that. Nitro was still nervous, but that nervousness had taken a back seat to lust so long ago that N’tho barely remembered it. Now what he wanted was the Blademaster.

Usze, all thunder gone, dropped to his knees before the pillows. N’tho reached out, ran one finger down the other male’s spine.

Usze reached out his arms, on all fours overtop of the pile of pillows. Nitro heard the Blademaster take a deep breath and then part his thighs, making his offering to his partner.

N’tho knew it was a gift. He felt blessed indeed as he knelt behind Usze and carefully positioned himself, all the while caressing the Blademaster’s trembling flanks. “Uzi,” he murmured. “Look.” Nitro lifted his hand over Uzi’s shoulder to point out his reasoning behind choosing this spot for the pillows.

Nitro smiled at his reflection in the floor-length mirror on the back of the door and watched Usze’s reflection betray the other Sangheili’s surprise. “You can watch,” N’tho whispered in the Blademaster’s earbud.

Uzi’s mandibles gaped. Nitro grinned. Usze’s reflection gave him a dirty look, and N’tho laughed…then he wrapped his arms around his soon-to-be-mate, pulling Usze up against his chest. Usze stopped scowling and started staring as Nitro let his right hand trace up and down Usze’s body. Nitro knew how it felt to be on the receiving end, and he was well aware that the action would hyper-sensitize Uzi’s nerves. Usze watched Nitro stroke him, rapt, as his body began to move in response to N’tho’s caresses.

Nitro bit down on his mandibles and forced himself to go slowly, giving Uzi time to savour the sensations. Usze sighed when Nitro’s fingers finally ran over his partner’s thighs, and whimpered when his fingers retreated upwards. Usze writhed as if trying to raise his lower body back up to N’tho’s hand. Nitro relented and ran a single finger down the length of Usze’s body, over the scars, down to the base of his shaft, and then up his length to his tip. At the same time, his other hand on Uzi’s back coaxed him back down onto all fours.

Quivering with excitement himself, N’tho took Usze back in his grip. The Blademaster moaned in delight; N’tho was too busy to take much pleasure himself. His left hand was exploring the curve of Usze’s rear, seeking the right place, guiding his own shaft into position against Usze. Damn, but it was hard to take the initiative! Usze was purring away, just enjoying the experience, and N’tho had all this effort to make…

Oh. Usze’s rocking hips had thrust back and N’tho was once again poised at the entrance, right on the verge of mating.

This effort was going to be worth it.

N’tho continued to stroke his mate. Usze responded eagerly, purring ever louder. Every forward thrust drove his shaft through N’tho’s hands; every backwards motion drove him backwards onto N’tho’s. Nitro couldn’t resist thrusting a little himself, as if knocking on a door to request admittance. He snuck a peek at Usze in the mirror…the other Elite had his eyes closed, surrendering himself, but every once in a while he’d crack one eye open and peek at what was happening, flush, and shut it again. N’tho, meanwhile, felt a thrill to see the reactions his ministrations could put on Usze’s face. He might not be so bad at this at all.

And Uzi looked so right in his arms…

Usze gasped, hovering on the peak of his climax, and thrust forward hard. Then he drew back, just as forcefully, and the action sheathed the head of N’tho’s shaft inside him.

N’tho cried out. Usze felt incredible in a way unlike any other. The other male was muscular, moist and tight inside, and to feel those muscles fitting closely around him… It took all N’tho’s self control not to yank Uzi back onto his shaft as hard as he could and bury himself within; but he knew that would hurt his mate. Oh, but how tantalizing it was to be only partially sheathed, to imagine how it would feel if that snug heat was along the full length of him and not just the tip!

Nitro’s hands went to Usze’s hips, pulling the other male back towards him, guiding Usze as they moved together. Every thrust drove N’tho just a little deeper into that tempting heat…every movement brought them closer… N’tho was panting, wishing he could beg, but he was the one mounting here, he was the one responsible for Uzi moaning now…

“Yes,” Uzi cried, over and over, and Nitro heard the sound mix with the rasping of their breath and the heat of their bodies and the scent of aroused warrior and the friction of skin on skin and Uzi all around him…

N’tho couldn’t take it any more. He grabbed his mate’s hips and pulled, claiming him, driving himself halfway home.

Usze cried out sharply; the mirror betrayed an expression of pain on ‘Taham’s features.

N’tho could not bear to hurt his lover; it tore his hearts as the guilt from what he’d done clashed with the intense wave of pleasure rippling through his body. The clashing sensations gave him the courage to lean forward and sink his teeth deep into the back of Usze’s neck.

N’tho’s bite triggered the automatic nervous reflex inherit in all Elites—the vulnerable nerves at the base of the neck caused the muscles of the spine and limbs to relax. Usze collapsed forward onto the pillows with a muffled moan. N’tho did some moaning of his own when Usze relaxed; his next thrust buried him to the hilt inside his mate, and by the Rings, by the Ancestors, by all that was holy it felt so good…

It felt so right, so good, Usze was so snug and tight and N’tho fit him perfectly, deep inside where it was moist and hot…

He almost came right there and then.

Usze’s expression in the mirror was wide-eyed with wonder; then his mandibles split into an expression of absolute bliss. Uzi’s hips pumped gently as he began to mew with pure delight.

Nitro couldn’t ruin this for his partner. He needed to be able to last. N’tho found himself trying to think of the most unsexy things he could imagine. Things like naked Brutes and naked Humans and Hunters getting it on. Usually these kinds of images caused whatever sensual thoughts that might have been heating his blood to go running for cover; he’d relied on this technique many times when he found himself turned on at inappropriate moments. However, this time, not even the thought of Flood-infested Humans bonking dead Brutes was enough to overcome the fact that his body was feeding him the most erotic sensations of his life…and every thrust made him hotter still.

“Nitro,” Usze gasped. “Nitro…Nitro…” The Blademaster’s voice was choked out by a loud and passionate mewl.

So much for thinking unsexy thoughts.

N’tho could shut his eyes and block out the sight of Usze on his knees beneath him, and he could grit his teeth to avoid thinking about how Usze’s buttocks felt pressed against him, and he could breathe out hard to clear his nostrils of Usze’s musky scent, but he’d failed to figure out a way to stop hearing his mate moaning his name over and over… He was already struggling to keep control and the sound of the Blademaster crying his name pushed him over the edge.

Rationality fled in the face of primitive urges that would not be denied. N’tho seized Usze by the hips again and pulled his mate backwards by the pelvis, putting his mate just where he wanted him, right where it would feel best. He slammed hard into Uzi, again and again, burying himself in his mate, his mate, because this was where he belonged, deep inside Usze ‘Taham…

Usze quaked beneath him and tightened around him and he came—so hard, so long, with a force that blurred his vision and caused his hearts to pause for a moment in their beating.

He wasn’t sure if Usze had the same pleasure, and it shamed him, and he tried to keep moving in and out as long as he could to let ‘Taham down easily, but when he’d spilled all he had into his lover and was left with nothing more, there was no more he could do. He opened his unbandaged eye to gaze upon the aftermath.

In the mirror he could see Usze wincing. Tears—an unspeakable shame for a Sangheili warrior—were forming in the corners of his eyes.

Oh, by the Ancestors, had he hurt his mate? N’tho withdrew quickly, picking Usze up by the shoulders and turning him, pulling him close against him. “Are you injured?” he asked, his voice choked with fear.

Usze shook his head, wordless, as he buried it in N’tho’s neck. N’tho felt a stickiness against his thigh and tried to take some consolation in the fact that it appeared Usze had enjoyed a climax as well…but now his coming down was more like a total crash. The other warrior’s body trembled in N’tho’s arms.

Frightened, yet determined, Nitro picked his mate up and carried him to the bed. Although N’tho was stronger and more muscular than the average Sangheili warrior, it was still an effort to pick up another Elite soldier. N’tho was glad that the bed was not far. He carefully lay Usze down, and then slipped in himself, pulling the covers over them both. The pillows were still on the floor; N’tho refused to leave his mate in order to retrieve them.

Usze was still weeping. N’tho stroked his mate’s back and tried to understand. The other Elite was clinging to him, not pushing him away, not angry as far as he could tell.

N’tho thought back to his first time, and what that had been like for him. Fun, yes, but afterwards? He had felt lonely and strange. He had wished that his partner had stayed long enough to help him adjust to his new reality, to make sense of the experience. He had wanted affection.

He still wanted affection. He had simply learned that it was too much to ask for.

N’tho hugged Usze fiercely. He would not let Uzi feel abandoned. He parted his mandibles and began to gently lick Usze’s head. It made Uzi sob even harder.

But N’tho was in no hurry. He caressed his lover until Usze settled into sleep, still clinging to him.

It seemed that, for once in his life, he’d done something right.