Talk to Me

AN: How did this fic get to be so long?! I can’t understand it… ten chapters already… (wobbles woozily) Might as well get started. Reviewers, some of you are slacking. Naughty, naughty. But for those of you who continue to review, thanks a million!

Sej: Thanks so much for all your wonderful comments, sweetie! I’m glad you enjoyed it. Hopefully this chapter will answer most of your questions. And thanks for always keeping me on task!

Sione: Thank you :) I agree that angst is all well and good, but man—sometimes you just need to be happy! Especially since the games do have a lot of funny moments. Dax and his “dumb animal noise…” That’s actually one of my favorite lines, too. He’s uber cute, despite being so ruthless when he’s after Jak. Poor Jak… he has no idea how much danger he’s in!

killerfox: Yes… yes, I had to add some kind of mechanic reference in there. It was unavoidable. Just like I had to have Torn scream at some point, even if it was only in the outtakes. I’m glad you liked the chapter!

Kuromei: (greedily accepts cookies) Thanks! I’m glad the characterization continues to seem okay. Now, here’s that update you asked for!

LeShea: Well, thank you very much! I’m glad *someone* is reading this fic for the comedic value! No, seriously. I put a lot of effort into making it funny and keeping everybody in character. (Especially Dax, as he is unabashedly my favorite.) I’m happy you like it so much! I’ll try to keep doing whatever it is I’m doing here.

Disclaimer: If I owned Jak and Daxter, I’d die of happiness. Currently I’m still alive, so I guess that must mean they belong to someone else.

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Jak was prepared for the deluge of queries and curses that immediately began to fly when he finally arrived at the restaurant and was shown to the team’s table. He was also prepared for the inevitable truth that all the dinner rolls and other appetizers would be gone.

“Well, look who decided to show.”

“Finally!”

“Jak, we were getting worried!”

“Where the heck *were* ya, cherry?”

Jak huffed, sliding into his seat and grabbing a menu to hide behind. “Sorry, sorry… I’m here, aren’t I?”

“Yes, yes you are.” Surreptitiously Rayn glanced at her elegant wristwatch. “And it’s only been… thirty minutes since the rest of us were seated. Bravo. I commend your punctuality.”

Behind the menu, Jak had the decency to blush. Oh… but the activities that had distracted him had been so worth being slightly tardy for. No regrets, then. None whatsoever.

“Don’t bother looking, we ordered you both the special,” Torn informed him. “If you don’t like it, tough.”

“You’re so kind.” Jak was fully prepared to go head to head in a (politely subdued) argument with the dreadlocked man when Keira caught his attention.

“Jak? Where’s Daxter?” she asked, half turning in her seat next to him to glance at the door as if the redhead might suddenly appear.

Damn. He should have known the absence of Dax either by his side or on his shoulder would be immediately noticed. The racer weighed his options before telling her the quasi-truth. “He didn’t want to come.”

“The rat didn’t want to come out for food? That’s a first.”

“Shut it, Torn.”

Rayn discreetly tapped her wine glass with a fork, pointedly calling a halt before the issue could escalate. “Quiet, everyone. Now that our lead racer at least is in attendance I think we should begin, preferably before the food arrives.” There was no further objection. “Alright, then. First, I’d like an update on all the upgrades that have been added to your vehicles. I have documentation of the expenses and I’d like to make sure everything has been recorded accurately.”

“I brought a list of all the parts we received so far,” Keira supplied helpfully, digging into her bag. “Daxter and I wrote down everything that’s come in so far and what we’ve done with it.”

“Excellent! Let’s see.”

So the serious business began, and Jak officially tuned out. Keira would take care of all the little details as only a top mechanic could, and they wouldn’t need his input until they went over strategy and tactics planning. He could afford to zone out while pretending to scan the dessert menu. After all, he had a lot to think about.

What he and Dax had done that evening was… wow. The green-blonde flushed behind his menu barricade. In the span of a single evening he had gone from wondering if Daxter truly wanted to go any further with him in the bedroom at all to almost having to beat the redhead off of him. Jak grinned crookedly despite himself. That Daxter’s trademark romantic tenacity would ever be directed toward him rather than some woman with ample assets was nothing short of a miracle, and it had taken his friend’s almost aggressive assertiveness that night to convince the racer it was true.

Honestly he hadn’t wanted to make Dax stop, despite not yet wanting to go all the way. What he wouldn’t have given to have been somewhere far away, all alone with Daxter, free to take as long as they wanted to kiss and touch and explore. Especially explore…

//Precursors.// Jak shifted uncomfortably, hoping everyone was too engrossed in discussing upgrades to notice. //What he did with his mouth was just… I never in a million years thought he’d be willing to do that, even for me. I want to do that to him, too. And his hands… fuck, he had his fingers *inside* me! And it felt *good!* No, it felt… amazing. Did he really learn all that from one stupid book?//

Maybe he ought to have a peek at that book before Dax gave it back to Razer…

“Psst! Jak! Are you okay?”

A nudge from Keira’s elbow brought the racer rocketing back to the present. “Y-yeah… yeah, I’m fine,” he managed to whisper back.

She peered concernedly back at him, head cocked curiously to one side, obviously not convinced. Keeping her voice low, she continued to question him. “Are you sure? You’re acting a little… strange. You had a really weird look on your face.”

“Did I?”

“Jak, did something happen between you and Daxter?”

The green-blonde felt himself immediately blushing hotly and hoped to high heaven she couldn’t see it in the dim light of the candlelit dining area. Luckily, no one else was paying any attention whatsoever to their whispered conversation. “Uh… no, not really. What do you mean?”

“Did you two get in a fight?” She gazed at him suspiciously, absently twisting the napkin in her lap as she tried to determine if he was telling the truth. “I know how you two get sometimes. You can’t tell me that him not coming along with you isn’t weird as heck.”

Jak was about to answer when Rayn motioned in his direction and caught his eye.

“Jak? Would you care to share your strategy for the next race with us so that your teammates will know what to expect?”

Shrugging noncommittally, he secretly welcomed the interruption. Sometimes Keira was much too astute for her own good. “Oh, I figure I’ll just get in front as soon as I can and shoot whoever tries to pass me.”

Across the table Sig snorted softly in amusement and feigned pity. “Ah, the confidence of youth. Well, if that’s what ya wanna do I’m behind ya all the way, chili pepper. I guess the rest of us can probably manage to keep most of ‘em off your tail until ya get across the finish line.”

Rayn nodded approvingly, tapping one carefully painted fingernail lightly against the pad of paperwork in front of her. “That’s good. Always watch each other’s backs, but remember to keep yourself in one piece, too. Try not to concentrate so much on your teammates that you let yourself get into trouble.”

“Easy for you to say,” Ashelin grumbled.

The blue-haired woman shot her a warning glance. “Now, then, with all that said… I don’t think I have to tell you how fierce the competition will be this time around. Do *not,* under any circumstances, let your guard down. Also. I know you’re all thinking it, so I’ll just say it openly… word everywhere is that this Razer fellow is especially, *extremely* dangerous. If you’re going to be wary around someone, it might as well be him and those cronies of his.”

Jak’s ear twitched. He coughed, shifting minutely in his seat.

“Ya know, it’s kind of surprising…” Sig mused absently as a waiter came by to top off their drinks. “He really doesn’t look much like the vicious type. More like a fashion designer than a racer, if ya ask me.” Torn sniggered.

“That’s because you’re used to wastelanders who don’t beat around the bush.” Rayn smiled wryly. “I’m finding that in the racing world, it’s almost never better to present everything you’ve really got. Don’t underestimate Razer. He is, after all, under Mizo’s thumb.”

Jak was fidgeting in earnest now, shuffling his feet uneasily beneath the table. //I left Dax alone with him…//

“Don’t worry, Rayn.” Torn was grinning confidently as he covertly slipped an arm around the back of Ashelin’s chair. “No way would we be caught dead trusting anything that gangster slime says or does.”

Ashe nodded, leaning into the casual embrace just the slightest bit. “He reeks insincerity. Like he’s smiling for your face and getting a knife ready for your back. We won’t let ourselves be fooled.”

Jak was now decidedly uncomfortable. Daxter *did* seem to really trust Razer. But if the rest of the team was right, and the suave racer was nothing more than a snake in the grass… Despite his best efforts, the green-blonde’s imagination was beginning to kick in with thoughts of guns, knives, poison, all manner of nasty devices. Hell, the slight redhead probably wouldn’t even be strong enough to ward off a simple hand-to-hand attack.

//There’s no one else even close to the garage,// Jak realized. //Dax says he can handle himself, but he’s never been in a real fight. He’s never had to defend himself before. If he ever *did* need help…//

He could almost see it. Daxter alone with their enemy in the deserted garage, completely and naïvely trusting. He might have his back to Razer, rambling on obliviously while the gang member smiled devilishly, slowly sneaking up behind him…

Jak could feel himself breaking into a cold sweat and shook his head viciously to clear it. //Wait a minute. What am I thinking? Daxter is fine. He can handle himself. Besides… Razer’s got no reason to try to hurt him. He knows Dax doesn’t race and Keira is our lead mechanic, so the team wouldn’t cease to function without him. What would Razer gain from it? He wouldn’t waste his time trying to hurt Dax if he didn’t stand to profit off it somehow.//

He almost felt better until Keira began to laugh.

“But, all that aside,” she giggled, hands coming up to partially cover her inexplicably blushing face. “Don’t you think Razer’s pretty… handsome?”

The entire table froze, shocked, before Rayn did something entirely unexpected. She smirked slyly, an expression no one had ever seen from her. “Now that you mention it… I must say I agree. He is quite the devious little piece of eye candy, isn’t he? Pity he almost surely swings the other way.”

Ashelin burst out laughing, startling Torn who still had his arm around her. “Gay is right! Undeniably gay. But he’s still a hot bastard, if you know what I mean.” The expression on Torn’s face was unreadable. “He’s probably got all the girls and half the guys in the racing circuit after him!”

Jak chuckled, took a drink… and almost choked on his glass of sparkling ice water as the blindingly obvious abruptly hit home. Precursors, of course! That was Razer’s motive!

//How could I have missed it? How?// The green-blonde racer stared dumbly into space, everything suddenly making perfect sense. //Of course he’s gay. Why else would he have that book? Why else might he know how to help us with our weirdo relationship? Why else would he want to be alone with Daxter?!//

He could see it all clearly now. Dax’s sunset hair, his sparkling blue eyes, the mischievous grin and snippy, sarcastic attitude… the redhead was cute, plain and simple. All at once Jak realized something that should have scared him from the start. If Dax began going about in human form as opposed to animal, then he, Jak, would not be the only one who would notice those quirky charms, childhood friendships notwithstanding. And Razer had most assuredly seen Dax human…

If Razer had somehow taken a shine to his friend, even going so far as to entertain him in Mizo’s team’s garage and loan him informational material of a personal nature, that could very well mean…

//How could I have been so stupid? Dax never even glanced at a guy that way before he figured out how I feel. He’d never suspect an advance from another man. Something like that would catch him completely off guard—//

In his mind’s eye he saw Daxter caught completely unawares, slammed up against a wall in the darkened garage with shock plainly visible in his wide eyes. He might fight vainly as Razer roughly pinned thin arms over his head, shock and anger turning to fear as he slowly realized the danger he was in and cried out to Jak for help… Jak, who wasn’t there to hear him scream.

Jerking himself back to reality, the former hero swore under his breath and forced himself to loosen the death grip he had on his napkin. //Okay, stop it. Just stop it. Don’t think horrible things like that. No way would Daxter let something like that happen to him. He’d fight back, he’d shoot Razer’s preppy ass, he’d—//

—struggle valiantly, but be completely powerless against the bigger, stronger man. ‘Get off me, asshole! I only want Jak!’ he would yell. But Razer would only smirk, insolently gripping Daxter’s captive wrists. ‘Then it eez indeed too bad zat Jak isn’t here, dear boy…’ Dax would be scared but determined not to show it, gritting his teeth and clenching frightened eyes shut, turning his face away to hide the building tears…

//Damn it, no!// Jak screamed at himself. //That wouldn’t happen! It wouldn’t! It—//

—would entice the gangster, make him chuckle darkly as he harshly tugged Daxter’s chin back up to face him. And despite Dax’s most frantic efforts to keep them closed, Razer would shove a knee between the helpless redhead’s thighs…

//NO! No, no, no, no, no, no, *no!* Not happening!// Straightening abruptly, determined to ignore these irrational fears, Jak firmly turned his attention back to the conversation at the table. He immediately wished he hadn’t.

“I can’t see how anyone wouldn’t be attracted to him, really,” Rayn was saying, cheeks tinged a light rosy pink as she finished off her third glass of wine. “The way his hips sway is quite… intriguing.”

Sig and Torn looked incredibly uncomfortable, obviously wishing dearly to be somewhere else. Jak couldn’t say he blamed them. In light of his recent internal dilemma, the girls’ train of thought was absolutely disgusting. He couldn’t help pulling a face to accentuate his distaste.

“Yeah,” Keira giggled, clutching the long stem of her own glass with both hands. “And I heard he won’t even let anyone else work on his car. He’s a champion racer but he does all the upgrades and maintenance work on it himself, and gets all dirty and everything! What mechanic in their right mind wouldn’t admire that?”

It took a moment for the comment to sink in. When it did, though, a cold chill unlike any other wormed its way down Jak’s spine. //Daxter is a mechanic…//

The moment the thought registered he tried to dismiss it as ludicrous. Dax admire Razer? How absurd. Razer was rude, arrogant, presumptuous, and a bad loser. Other than his debatably pleasing physical features, as far as Jak was concerned there was nothing there to admire. Besides… Daxter was straight. It all boiled down to that. The redhead didn’t like men.

//Oh, but Jak…// a tiny voice inside him seemed to whisper. //Daxter doesn’t seem to have a problem liking you. Aren’t *you* a man?//

//Well, yeah,// he answered it uncomfortably. //But it’s not the same. I’m different. Dax said so. He said he made an exception for me, and I’m making sure it’s worth his while. He won’t regret giving me a chance.//

//Oh really?// The voice seemed amused. //So I suppose your idea of ‘making it worth his while’ is stringing him out for a month and then pushing him away when you finally get the perfect opportunity to roll him through the sheets?//

//No!// Jak balked. //That’s not—I mean, I didn’t—//

//Do you really think he’s going to wait around forever? Hell no, he won’t. He’ll go back to Tess. He’ll find another girl. Or maybe…// The sneer in the voice was unmistakable. //Now that he knows that it’s possible… your dear, ‘straight’ little best friend might just decide to see what other guys can offer.//

Jak froze at the thought. As if a floodgate had broken, all of his earlier frightening imaginings came rushing back. This time, though, they were worse. Much worse. To his mounting alarm he helplessly watched the scene in his mind play on, seemingly unable to make the morbid slideshow stop.

‘Poor leetle thing,’ Razer might sneer as he pressed closer to his smaller, softly whimpering captive. ‘So in denial. Do you not realize zat you are poised to discover zee delights zat only a man can provide, and zee one you think you want refuses to oblige you? I can show you what Jak will not…’ He would lean forward, still holding onto Daxter’s chin forcefully, until his smirking, nicotine-laced lips pressed against the redhead’s.

Still Jak couldn’t stop thinking the worst. //Get the hell away from him!// he wanted to rage, unreasoning anger toward the posh racer in his mental images growing steadily within him. //He’s mine! No one else can do that!//

His subconscious ignored him. No doubt Razer would next shove his tongue into Daxter’s mouth, he thought, feeling physically ill at the idea of it. Dax would surely kick and struggle in outrage but would at last be forced to give in to the inevitable, finally going limp in defeat and moaning slightly in despair… or, just possibly, pleasure. The invading knee between his legs would start to move and he might slowly begin to rock against it…

Jak wanted to hurl.

“It’s his smile that gets me,” Keira carried on, oblivious to her old friend’s state of extreme discomfort. “All dark and mysterious.”

Rayn nodded dreamily, beginning to lean forward across the table without looking like she was aware of it. “The cigarettes. It’s the way he holds the cigarettes. So haughty, so unconcerned… lovely.”

Razer would let go of Dax’s arms, now, and they would fall—perhaps fall right around the racer’s neck. The redhead would squeak and squirm as infuriatingly bold hands skimmed down his sides and settled on the waist of his pants. ‘Ya know I was waitin’ fer Jak,’ he might mutter, shifting reluctantly under the touch… but no longer trying to break away.

//Stop… stop… stop…// Jak thought desperately, his hapless salad fork bending slightly in the crushing power of a white-knuckled grip. //Stop…//

‘Then I am afraid you will be waiting for quite a long time.’ Sensing an opening, the gangster would not pause in his blatant advances. ‘It eez clear Jak doesn’t even know what it eez he wants. But you, dear boy… you need attention now. Look how desperate you are, how you cling to me. Let me *help* you, Daxter.’ Dax would waver, look uncertain… and then slowly relent, legs slipping further apart. Over Razer’s triumphant chuckle the redhead might sigh quietly, regretfully. ‘I just wish Jak would’a done this first…’

//Stop stop stop stop…// Jak was twitching. He couldn’t help it. More sweat had broken out on his brow. He desperately wanted to leave, leave immediately, run back to their headquarters and prove to himself that all these stupid imaginings were just that. But…

“Thank the Makers, here comes dinner.” Jak hadn’t heard Sig sound that relieved since… well, it had been a long time. He couldn’t blame the big man, though, not at all. The distraction of the arriving food was just what he needed.

//Just eat,// he schooled himself firmly as a plate of hot, juicy steak and perfectly sautéed vegetables was placed in front of him. //Calm down and eat. Then when we’re finished we’ll all go back to the garage together, and you’ll see that Dax was never—//

—on his back, on the floor, clothes pulled off—

A spark of black flashed through the former hero’s bright blue eyes. He bit down hard on a sudden rumbling growl, hoping against hope he could blame the sound on his empty stomach. //Stop stop stop stop stop—//

—hands on pale, trembling skin, trespassing on Jak’s territory—

“He could take this machine for a spin any day!” Keira grinned widely and wiggled, cutely flirtatious, in her chair, making Rayn and Ashelin giggle crazily and Jak flinch with the effort of keeping his anger concealed.

“Cherry?” Ever observant, Sig had stopped with a fork halfway to his mouth and was staring intently at the green-blonde. “You okay? Jak…?”

Jak wanted to answer, to assure his teammate that everything was fine, but he couldn’t seem to unclench his teeth, was unable to stop gritting them together almost painfully as the canines lengthened and he pictured—

—Daxter panting, rocking, moaning—

The racer’s hands twisted into fists, suddenly sharp nails digging brutally into his palms. //Stop stop stopstopstop—//

“I mean, if he hit on you,” Ashelin’s oblivious laugh, “how would you say no?”

—sweating, squirming, arching, crying out a name that wasn’t Jak’s—

“STOP!!!” Jak’s fist crashed down on the table, china and crystal rattling alarmingly under the jarring impact of the blow. Keira jumped, Rayn dropped her glass, and Torn threw a protective arm in front of Ashelin as the racer abruptly surged to his feet. The room went dead quiet as, without a word of explanation, Jak stalked through the crowd of panicked wait staff and out the door.

Food could wait. The rest of the meeting was unimportant. His real business lay back at the garage, where a certain slimy gangster would shortly be receiving a very nasty surprise…

- * - * - * - * -

It took a few seconds for the shock of Jak’s outburst and subsequent exit to fade. When it did, though, conversation resuming throughout the elegantly decorated dining room, Rayn calmly raised a hand to signal a waiter. “Wrap up this dinner and the extra, if you please. We’ll be taking them to go when the rest of us have finished. Oh, and I seem to have spilled my drink. Bring us another bottle.”

“What in the name of Mar is wrong with that kid?” Disgruntled, Torn stared at the door the green-blonde had so recently stormed out of. “I thought for a second we were gonna have the eco monster loose in here.”

“He and Daxter had a fight,” Keira informed matter-of-factly. A chorus of groans immediately rose from the team.

“Are you serious? That’s what that was about?” Ashe scoffed. “So mature, Jak…”

Rayn sighed, rolling her eyes. “Well, then I suppose it’s no wonder he couldn’t concentrate on the small matter of winning the next round of races. That little loudmouth is his life.”

“Don’t worry about it,” Sig reassured. “Those two are tight. They’ll make up and get over it in no time.”

“Oh, really?” Torn snorted, a smirk growing on his chiseled face. “The kid’s under the rat’s thumb. I bet you ten Precursor orbs that Jak started it, Daxter gets the last word, and we find Mr. Can’t Hold His Temper sleeping on the sofa when we get home.”

Sig grinned right back. “Oh, you’re on, cherry. Bet you twenty everything’s fine and they’re stretched out on the sofa watchin’ TV together by the time we get back.”

“Well I bet both of you *fifty* Precursor orbs we find them making out on the sofa when we get back, whether or not they’ve made up!” Keira threw in. “You guys wouldn’t *believe* what I walked in on earlier this evening…”

- // - // - // - // -

Daxter writhed and squirmed on the couch, moaning pitifully. “Yeah! Yes, yes, that’s it! That’s it right *there!*”

Razer watched the spectacle calmly from an armchair across the room, puffing steadily away at his current smoke. “You know, you don’t have to be so melodramatic.”

With an indignant huff, the redhead rolled off the sofa and hit the carpet with a thump. “Cut a guy a break, will ya?” he muttered petulantly, pulling the small pillow that had accompanied him on the fall over his head. “Can’t ya see I’m in the middle of an extensive personal crisis, here?”

The racer snorted, smoke curling lightly from both nostrils. “Be zat as it may, zee only response Ah required from you was a simple ‘yes, you’re right, zat sums up zee extent of zee problem.’ Not a full-blown tantrum.”

Dax pushed the pillow aside in order to flip the older man off, then resumed moping. Despite himself, Razer smiled.

“Still…” He took a thoughtful drag from the cigarette, then breathed out slowly as he pondered. “Ah must agree zat you have been through zee wringer since we last met. Zat Jak should have desired your romantic love so much and yet still be unwilling to cross zat particular line is very strange. Ah would have thought he would have been all over you, especially since you went out of your way to give such an alternate relationship a chance in zee first place.”

“Tell me about it… Wait a second. Ya don’t think it’s me, do ya?” Dax suddenly clutched the pillow to his chest and struggled upright, gazing at the gangster imploringly. “Ya don’t think he doesn’t want me anymore, right? Ya don’t think he changed his mind?”

“In light of everything you have told me, Ah find zat highly unlikely. He still pets your rat form, hugs you, kisses you, dotes upon you… and he responded quite nicely to your advances this evening, correct?”

“Yeah.” The relief in the redhead’s voice was nearly tangible even through the smug, I’m-about-to-boast-some-more tone. “Once I got him too horny ta think, he loved every wakin’ minute of it. Not ta brag, but—”

“Alright, zat is enough.” Rolling his eyes eloquently, Razer firmly waved off whatever was about to be said. “Ah don’t need to hear another account of zee sordid details. However… a word of advice, mah noisy leetle friend. Being forcibly restrained and choked while performing oral sex most definitely qualifies as a good reason to give zee offender a good bite, even if they are your best friend.”

Dax grinned. “Maybe next time I ought’a just reach around an’ slap his ass?”

“Zat works, too.” Smiling whimsically, perhaps at the picture of a certain sex-addled former hero being put in line with a swift spank, the racer straightened up out of the chair and began to pace. “Now, moving on to more important matters. We still need to determine why dearest Jak continues to deny you, yes?”

“Yes.” Daxter nodded emphatically, moving back up to the sofa with the decorative throw pillow in tow. “That would be exactly what we need ta determine.”

“Let us get down to brass tacks, then. We know for certain zat Jak loves you very, very much. We know zat he wants a physical relationship with you very, very badly. And we know zat for some reason, he eez holding himself back from zee aforementioned relationship. Now zee question eez, why? Why would zee boy do such a foolish, and might Ah add *painful*, thing as restrain himself when you, zee object of his desires and affections, are unquestionably his for zee taking?” Razer increased the speed of his pacing, a frown creasing his features. “It just does not add up.”

“I thought fer a while it was because he didn’t think I wanted it,” Dax supplied, “but now that’s just stupid. He damn well knows what I want. So, I guess that means he’s not holdin’ back fer my sake anymore.”

“Hmm.” The gangster puffed away faster at his ever-present smoke, frown deepening. “It almost sounds to me like he eez frightened.”

Dax quirked a brow before laughing uproariously, falling backwards over the arm of the sofa in his hilarity. “Yer kiddin’ me, right? Jak, the hero, the bad boy, the lurker-KG-metalhead killer, scared’a havin’ *sex?* No way! Ah, damn, that’s funny…”

Razer was not amused. “If you are quite finished. It makes perfect sense, does it not? Obviously, *something* eez making him wary. And it seems zat zee harder you push, zee more he draws back from you…”

“But why would he be bent up about somethin’ like that?” The redhead was completely baffled. “’Specially with me? I’m his best pal! We’ve done a million scarier things together than *that.*”

“Perhaps it eez not zee act itself he eez afraid of.” Razer paused, flicking some wayward cigarette ash off the sleeve of his tailored racing coat. “You say you and Jak have done scarier things, boy. How long have zee two of you known each other?”

Daxter shrugged. “Forever. Since we were just real little brats. Why?”

“And you must have done a lot together, then?” he pressed, ignoring the question. “You still like to explore, Daxter, try new things, yes?”

“Yeah, sure. Just so long as I don’t get eaten, drowned, blown up, crushed, caught on fire, run over, fall ta my death… other than that, yeah, I like tryin’ new stuff. Me an’ Jak, we explored all’a time back then—”

“And you are always with Jak, have *always* been with Jak. You mean a great deal to him, Ah assume? You plan to continue to be together for quite a long time to come?”

“I’ll never leave the big guy.” Dax’s answer was completely honest and completely certain. “No matter what happens between us. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I want this ta work out, but… even if we hav’ta go back ta bein’ just best friends, I ain’t goin’ anywhere. That’s what yer gettin’ at, right?”

“Correct.” The racer nodded approvingly. “Good answer. But now, mah ratty leetle friend… taking all zat into consideration, kindly imagine how darling Jak might feel.”

“How Jak feels?” The redhead frowned in confusion. “Jak feels the same, I guess.”

“And zat is where you are making your biggest mistake, boy!” Razer aimed an impatient swat in his errant disciple’s direction, luckily with the non-cigarette hand. “Never assume zat your feelings are mirrored by zee other. I want you to just sit there and think about zis for a moment.”

Daxter grumbled under his breath, but nevertheless settled down obediently. “A’right, I’m sittin’. So tell me what I’m thinkin’ about, now, Smokey?”

“You are thinking about what Jak might be thinking, stupid. Now, picture zis. You are Jak.”

“I’m Jak. Okay. What else?”

“You are Jak, and you are also zee happiest man alive.”

“Ooh, I’m likin’ the sound’a that!”

“You are so happy,” Razer continued, “because zee person you care for most in zee entire world… your closest companion who never leaves your side… zee one you love as more than a friend, more than a brother… zee one zat you never dreamed would return your feelings… they have agreed to be your lover. Are you still picturing?”

“Yep.” That sounded about right. Dax smiled, closing his eyes to better imagine everything.

“Good. Now… imagine zat zee real world has suddenly cut into your leetle happy-happy land. Once zee initial bliss of finally getting a chance to have what your heart most desires wears off, you begin to think realistically. And you start to wonder. Could zis all be just fun and games for your friend, a safe way to try something new? And when zee final step eez taken and zee novelty of being in a new kind of relationship begins to fade, will he wander away to something else…?”

Daxter’s happy vibe immediately disappeared. “Hey, wait a minute—”

“No, dear boy, keep imagining. Imagine zat you, Jak, finally relent. You make love, cross zat last line. And then… your love decides zat zee whole ‘gay’ thing eez just not for him. He would like to be simple friends again, please and thank you. He moves on to a lovely lady. And you… you burn for him more than ever. You know what it eez like to hold him, love him, and now he eez out of your reach forever. Your closest friend, right there beside you, through thick and thin, day in and day out… and untouchable. So. *Now* how do you think Jak feels?”

Daxter’s heart, stomach, and myriad other important-type internal organs sank. “Jak’s… afraid I’m gonna get bored with him after we have sex…?” His ears dropped pitifully. “Ya really think that’s what he thinks?”

Razer shrugged casually. “Ah have no idea. Zis eez all pure speculation.”

“Ass,” Dax hissed, pitching the pillow at the racer’s smirking face. “Don’t do that ta me! Ya had me really worried there!”

“Look, all Ah am saying eez zat it eez possible. It eez very likely he might be worried zat you will lose interest once zee two of you finally go to bed and you have nothing more to look forward to. Or he might even be worried zat *he* won’t enjoy it as much as he hopes he will. It could be any number of things.”

“But I’m not gonna… I mean, that’s just… do ya think I have a five-year-old’s attention span or somethin’?!” The redhead was beyond annoyed. He wasn’t an idiot, damn it! Well… not usually. “I’m not in this thing with Jakkie-boy fer the entertainment value, alright? Heck, I could’a cheerfully gone my whole life without havin’ any idea about the junk goin’ on in that book. The one, and the *only* reason I did any’a this, is because I love that guy. Just him. Not some other dude, not some chick, *him.* Jak, pal, ya dig?”

“Believe me, Ah dig,” Razer smirked. “But, much more importantly, Jak must also ‘dig.’ While you were busy forging ahead and blazing new trails zis evening, did it ever occur to you to reassure Jak zat you wanted more from it all than a leetle fun? Did you even once during all zat time tell him zat you love him?”

“Well sure I…” But then, Daxter had to pause. He thought back, trying to remember. Sure he had been overflowing with love and affection for the green-blonde before, during, and after their intimate activities, but had he ever opened his mouth and actually said as much? “No, wait… I didn’t. Not once. I—I just… never even thought about it.” The redhead abruptly felt like a heel. “Aww dammit, I’m such a moron!”

“Exactly. Jak cannot read your mind, boy, so you must *tell* him how much he eez loved. And showing him strictly through physical contact is not acceptable. Love and lust are two different things.” With great finality, Razer extinguished his cigarette on top of the expensive TV set. “So, that said, mah final words of wisdom to you, Daxter, are these. Prove to your friend zat you are in for zee long haul. Assure him zat your love and devotion rivals his own. Once he realizes zat you too are playing for keeps, odds are he will fall into your arms. Voila, you are both happy.”

“Yeah, but how do I do that? I’ve never been what ya’d call the, uh, serious type. How do I make the big guy believe me?”

“Again, Ah have no idea.” With the utmost nonchalance, the gangster flipped the lid of his lighter back and forth. “Zat depends on Jak. Time and good behavior may be zee only way to win your hero over. Though… Ah have heard zat gifts may be employed as well. A nice watch? One of a pair of matching rings, perhaps…?”

“Presents, huh?” Daxter grew silent in thought. What could he possibly offer Jak that would prove his love and loyalty? He didn’t have any money for nice shiny gifts, and Jak’s rough-and-tumble lifestyle would probably destroy any decorative sparklies that weren’t utterly necessary to his regular wardrobe anyway. But still, there had to be *something*…

Then, suddenly, Dax had an idea. Slowly he turned back to Razer. “Does it hav’ta be somethin’ material?”

“What’s zat?”

“I said, does the gift hav’ta be somethin’ solid ya can hold?” There was a strangely eager light in the redhead’s eyes.

The taller racer thought it over, tapping the cigarette in concentration and completely disregarding the ash that fell to the floor. “No, Ah don’t think so. Ah suppose it can be anything zat you think would hold deep meaning to Jak. Why? Do you have an idea?”

“Yeah, I do. What if I gave Jakkie-boy somethin’ *really* special, somethin’ no one else ever could? Somethin’ he had once an’ never thought he’d ever get back?”

Jak’s big surprise. Of course. He had been planning it since the discovery of his Precursor powers, been working on it diligently and with great success. He had also been very near a breakthrough… until a certain unspoken confession of love had diverted one hundred percent of his attention to more urgent matters. But now…

//This’ll work,// he thought excitedly, suddenly unable to keep still. //It’s gotta work! Jak’ll love this, I know he will. He’ll be all happy-like, an’ I’ll tell him how much I really really wanna stay with him, an’ then—!//

“Are you alright? You look like you are about to hyperventilate.” Razer stared curiously at the quivering redhead. “Here. Have a drag and calm yourself before you have a stroke.”

Daxter was unprepared for the cigarette that was suddenly shoved into his mouth. Gagging on the resulting lungful of acrid smoke, he promptly spit it out. “Damn it, what’re ya tryin’a do ta me?!”

“Relax you.”

“Are you kiddin’? That’s nasty!” Still coughing, Dax rubbed spastically at his mouth, lip curling at the taste. He didn’t have time for this. “I’d cut out puffin’ those things if I was you, pal. You’ll have a stroke *way* before I do.” Straightening up, he brushed self-consciously at his slightly wrinkled clothes. “Well, I gotta get ta work. Thanks fer the help an’ all, I guess.”

With a catlike smile the gangster began to preen, slicking his hair back even further and fastidiously straightening his tailored racing jacket. “But of course, dear boy. Anything for you and Jak. But now… let us discuss something zat you can do to help *me.*”

Daxter sighed deeply. “How did I know that was comin’…? A’right, I’ll do somethin’ for ya. Waddaya want?”

With a triumphant smirk and a flourish, Razer reached inside his coat and pulled out a small envelope. “Give zis to your team manager. Zat’s all Ah ask.”

“Rayn?” Curiously, Dax accepted and looked over the piece of mail. “What is it?”

“Zat is none of your…” Razer trailed off. “Stop looking at it like it eez something to eat! Don’t you dare open zat, do you understand me? It eez a private matter!”

Teasingly, Dax picked lightly at the seal with one fingernail. “Come on, Smokey. Ya can tell me. Don’t make me rip this baby open the second ya leave, now…”

It was a losing battle. Wisely, the racer opted to just spill the beans. “I have composed a short letter to Miss Rayn zat I would like you to deliver for me. Zat eez all.”

“Like a love letter or somethin’?”

“You might say it eez… a letter of grudging *admiration.*” Looking almost nervous, Razer attempted to salvage the cigarette Daxter had so hastily discarded. “Ah want it delivered in a timely manner, you prying leetle twit. Do not lose it. And if you choose to handle it in rat form between now and then, for zee love of fashion do not chew on it or anything. Ah want it presentable when she gets it.”

“Yeah, yeah. I’ll get it to her.” Dax was still worrying inquisitively with the envelope when a thought occurred to him. “But hey, wait a sec. I thought you were… like, aren’t ya…? Don’t ya like guys?”

With a pitying smirk, Razer reached out and, very lightly and condescendingly, patted Daxter on the head with the very tips of his gloved fingers. “Poor confused boy. But, since you ask I will tell you. Let it be known zat I, Razer, king of zee racecourse, require three things in mah life to be happy. Those things are caffeine, gasoline, and nicotine. But, necessities aside… lovely creatures from both sides of zee track do hold their appeal, if you know what I mean.”

“I get it.” Stuffing the letter into a deep pocket, Dax snorted in amusement and followed the posh racer to the door. “Fer bein’ such a fancy freak, yer not real picky in the date department. Lemme guess, there’s a poem in there, too?”

“Open zat envelope and Ah will hunt you down and run you over with mah car.” Flinging open the door, Razer turned with a dramatic flourish. “Farewell, boy. Ah wish you luck in whatever you decide to do.”

“Thanks. Ya know, Razer…” Dax really wasn’t sure how to phrase what he wanted to say. “Yer not so bad. I mean, yer kinda a jerk, but not really. I’ll make sure Rayn gets yer letter.”

“Zat’s good to hear.” With a small, unreadable smile, the gangster stepped out. “Goodnight, then, brat… and Ah will expect you each Tuesday night for zee next three weeks, ready to clean. Zee garage has been unbearable dusty lately.” And before Dax, sputtering indignantly, could answer, he was out the door and down the walk.

“Hey, wait a—*stop*, ya moron! I’m not showin’ up, ya hear me? Don’t expect me ta show up, ‘cause I’m not gonna!” It was too late, though. Not bothering to turn around, Razer waved lightly over his shoulder, his intent obvious. The redhead stared after him intently for a few moments, internally debating. Finally, though… huffing in annoyance, if not outright acceptance of his dusty fate, he slammed the door. “Ass.”

- * - * - * - * -

With Razer gone, Daxter quickly went to work. He had a lot to do, and only a short time to do it in. Work on Jak’s surprise would have to begin again, immediately, and he had to locate a suitable spot for the activity before the racer in question returned along with the rest of their team. But first… despite his eager excitement to get started, his stomach was rumbling almost constantly. He had to eat.

//Snacks first, then get set up. Can’t work on an empty stomach. B’sides,// he reasoned, //I’m still pretty new at this Precursor junk. I’m gonna need some pretty impressive energy ta pull this off right this time.//

Mind buzzing, he quickly set about raiding the refrigerator. It soon became blatantly obvious that no one on the team knew how to shop for groceries, but that didn’t stop him for long. Sure Keira might call him to task later for eating her last chocolate pudding cup, but hey. Precursors-in-training required nourishment! Very soon Daxter was back in the living room, camped on the sofa with his spoils; the pudding, half a leftover sandwich, and Razer’s letter to Rayn open in front of him as he ate.

“Yep, a sappy poem. I knew it. He’s such a loser.” Snickering evilly the redhead wolfed down another bite, still managing to make sure that no crumbs or drops of pudding touched the paper. “But maybe he’s got somethin’ there. I wonder if Jak’d like somethin’ like this…?”

Now that he thought about it, it seemed that he really should think up something profound and romantic to say when he presented Jak with his gift. The timing would have to be perfect, and the location…

He was so lost in thought, mulling over all of his ideas, that he jumped a mile and let out a startled squeal when Jak burst through the front door, snarling.

“Get your slimy hands off him!!”

Daxter collapsed back against the cushions, hands clutched dramatically over his heart. “Jak, my buddy… ya went an’ did it. Ya scared me ta death. I told ya ya had’a stop bustin’ in places, but would ya listen ta little ol’ Daxxie? Oh, no—”

“Where. Is. He.” The racer’s tone was possibly the most threatening Dax had ever heard, stopping the redhead’s soliloquy in an instant. It was all he could do not to gulp nervously as Jak’s gaze wandered, almost predatory, around the room.

“Where’s who, pal?”

“Razer!”

“He left, like, twenty minutes ago.” Cautiously, Daxter eased off the sofa and warily began to approach his friend. “Jak? Is somethin’ wrong? Ya look… I dunno… pissed or somethin’.”

It took a few more moments, but the green-blonde finally began to calm down. His shoulders relaxed almost visibly as Dax crept closer, the tension slowly leaving him as he heaved what sounded like an intensely relieved sigh and ran a shaky hand through his disheveled hair. “It… it’s nothing, Dax. Sorry I scared you. Um… I was just gonna tell Razer to put out his smoke. It smells like an ashtray in here.”

Reassured, Dax chuckled. “I guess I didn’t notice. But hey, then again I’ve been tastin’ smoke fer half an hour!” Jak froze, eyes going wide and slightly homicidal as the hand that had been tiredly rubbing at his face dropping like a dead weight. Oblivious, the redhead rambled on. “Remind me ta never take up that habit. An’ remind me ta slug that creep if he ever decides ta cram another cigarette in my mouth! I’ll probably have tobacco breath fer a week… So, did ya bring me somethin’ ta eat?”

After a moment of silent staring, Jak seemed to try to shake off whatever had been bothering him. “Ah… no. I’m sorry, Dax, I completely forgot. I even left my own food back there on the table. Maybe Keira and the guys will pack it up and bring it back with them…”

He seemed so genuinely sorry and all around out of sorts that Daxter had to forgive him, even as his stomach rumbled noticeably. But the racer was acting awfully strange all of a sudden… //Jak, babe, what’s up with ya?// he wondered. //Everything was fine when ya left… right?//

Aloud, Dax tried to laugh it off. “I know ya missed me, pal, but that don’t mean ya can abandon a full table of top-notch nibbles just ta come runnin’ home ta see me, know what I’m sayin’?” He perched fists on his hips, frowning at the contrite racer in fake annoyance before sending him a playful grin and wink. “Nah, not really. Seriously, don’t sweat it. I bet Keira’ll bring me a doggy bag, she’d never let a full meal go ta waste. An’ in the meantime, I found somethin’ in the kitchen, so I’m cool.”

“I don’t think pudding and a stale sandwich qualifies as dinner, Dax.” Jak was actually smiling a bit as he reached down to pick up the empty cup. The expression wavered, though, when he caught sight of the abandoned envelope and piece of paper beside it. “What’s this?”

Daxter shrugged, already thinking ahead. Now that his companion was back home early he would have to move his project to the garage, and find some way to keep Jak and the gang out until he was done… “Eh, it’s nothin’. Just a love letter from Razer.”

“A love letter… to… *whom*…?” The racer’s voice gritted badly as his teeth ground together, fists clenching at his sides.

“Rayn.” The redhead had to pause for a laugh when the reality of what he had just said sank in. “Can ya believe Razer’s sweet on her? He wrote her a poem an’ everything. I would’a thought fer sure he’d be with some guy, but hey. Guess ya never know, huh?”

The former hero didn’t laugh, didn’t answer. He had yet to unclench his hands. Instead he stood stone still, just staring at Daxter, a strange expression on his face.

Alright, now Dax knew something was definitely wrong. He cocked his head worriedly, moving away from the door to the garage and closer to his friend. “Jak, seriously, watsa’ matter wit—whoa!!” He was completely unprepared when the racer in question suddenly shot out a hand, grabbed his wrist, and pulled him close. Wide eyed, breath hitching from the shock, Daxter went still. Staring mutely up, he met his friend’s intense blue gaze.

“I never should have left.”

Then suddenly his shoulders were gripped almost painfully, he was pulled up nearly onto his tiptoes, and a hot, desperate mouth descended on his own with bruising force. Immediately, the redhead’s concern went out the window.

//Oh… wow… shit… mmm…// was all his brain seemed capable of generating at the moment. Quickly he reached up and threw his arms around Jak’s neck, basking in the unexpected but altogether welcome attention as the racer’s hands plunged under the back of his shirt. //I dunno what this is, but I ain’t gonna complain!//

Dax let out an “eep!” as the firm hands at his waist slid lower to grab his hips, and he was abruptly lifted off his feet. Tightening his grip on Jak’s shoulders, he did the only thing he could under the circumstances and wrapped his legs around the racer’s waist as Jak spun them around and his back met the cold metal of the garage door. His head was still spinning, his breath came in hitched gasps, and his heart… It was beating so hard he thought it might burst right out of his ribcage.

//Precursors, this is fantastic!// Eagerly Dax kissed back, marveling at how easily Jak held him up. With anyone else this would be where he would panic, crushed between a hard place and a solid wall of muscle with his feet nowhere near touching the floor. By all rights he should be fighting to be set down, but for some reason he found the situation nothing but exciting. //When did Jakkie-babe get all dominant on me? An’ why the heck do I *like* it…?//

Effortlessly Jak shifted his hold, keeping one arm firmly around Daxter’s middle while his free hand moved back under the redhead’s shirt to rest lightly on his heaving chest. “You okay, Dax?” he whispered, breaking their kiss and pulling back to stare with great concentration at the spot where his palm met warm skin. “You’re trembling…”

With a start Daxter realized that it was true. He *was* trembling, quivering in Jak’s arms like a frightened ottsel. These particular tremors definitely weren’t due to being afraid, however. Dax grinned shakily at his friend, trying to keep his voice steady. “Don’t worry, babe, that’s just the adrenaline!”

Jak smiled back slightly, the least bit playful. The hand on Dax’s chest slid down, torturously slow, to gently trace the hard ridge of the redhead’s arousal through the thin material of his racing digs. Dax hissed sharply at the sudden sensation and clenched his hands in the hair at the nape of Jak’s neck, a look of borderline ecstasy on his flushed face.

“Good.” And with that simple understanding, the green-blonde hoisted Daxter higher in his embrace and headed for the stairs.

The redhead instantly knew where they were going, and couldn’t keep the ecstatic grin off his face. He dug his fingers deeper into the back of Jak’s jacket and settled his chin on the racer’s broad shoulder, nearly purring with happiness and pleasure. He could get used to this kind of treatment. It was different but wonderfully nice to be carried while he wasn’t ottsel, and the delicious friction of their lower bodies grinding together with every sure step Jak took was more than enough to make him thoroughly ready for whatever bedroom activity his friend had in mind.

Mmm, bedroom… just the thought that he had just been unceremoniously picked up and was now being carted away with the intention of naughty things being done to him was exceedingly arousing, and Dax wriggled in the former hero’s grip. Who would have thought Jak had it in him to take the lead? It was a completely unanticipated, though not unpleasant, surprise.

//Surprise… surprise… hmm, why does that ring a bell…?//

They were halfway up the stairs when Daxter’s eyes, gone hazy and half-closed with pleasure, abruptly shot open. He straightened up in a near panic, squeezing Jak’s upper arms to get him to stop. “Jak, wait! Whoa! Time out!”

The racer immediately paused, glancing down at his formerly willing captive incredulously. “What? Why?”

“I just remembered,” Dax panted, shifting uneasily, “there’s somethin’—somethin’ I gotta do right now. Can we maybe get back ta this a little later…?”

Jak didn’t even consider it. “You can do it tomorrow. This is important.”

“What I gotta do’s important!” Very important. The redhead began to struggle in earnest now, intent on being set down. He didn’t quite know why, but suddenly it seemed of the utmost importance to him that he present Jak with his little offering before they progress any further. //I can’t believe I almost forgot all about that… again… Jakkie-boy just scrambles my common sense, I guess.// He squirmed harder. “Cummon, Jak, put me down.”

“Dax, please…” It was obvious that Jak had no idea what was happening. His voice and eyes were almost pleading. “I thought… but… you were so ready earlier!”

“Well that was then and this is now.” Daxter didn’t mean to sound so harsh, but he found the switch in their positions ironic. Where had Jak’s sudden eagerness to go to bed been an hour ago, when Dax had nothing to do but play hooky on a stupid dinner party and fool around all evening? “Sorry, pal, but I gotta do this. I think I can get it done tonight, though, so maybe tomorrow we can…”

The racer’s ears were falling in dismay, lending him an air of complete and total unhappiness despite his tough appearance. The redhead sighed. He was really in for it, if the simple act of denying Jak something he hadn’t even wanted such a short time ago made him feel like he’d kicked a crocadog pup. Trying to cheer his friend up, Dax lightly tickled the tip of his ear and dropped an innocent kiss on his temple, one on the bridge of his nose, a third on his frowning lips.

“Hey, what’s with that face? Just trust me, big guy. I got a feelin’ this is fer the best, okay? So, put me down now. Please.”

Very, very slowly Jak relented, and set Daxter gently back on his feet. Quickly, before either of them could change their minds, the redhead darted back down the steps and away from the insane temptation that standing right next to Jak in the darkened stairwell posed. He couldn’t think straight, not while he was breathing in Jak’s scent and remembering his taste, the feel of a hard shaft in his hands and in his mouth… Oh, boy. This train of thought wasn’t helping him calm down very well.

Dax shook his head and cleared his suddenly tight throat. Hesitantly, he peeked back up at the racer. “So, uh… what’re ya gonna do fer the rest’a the evening, pal?”

Jak looked remarkably tired. His voice, when he finally answered, even sounded hollow. “I’m going to bed.”

“Okay. Sleep good, alright, an’ I’ll be in as soon as I can. An’ uh, hey, if ya happen ta get up tonight fer any reason, just… uh… don’t come in the garage, okay?”

“Sure. Goodnight.”

“’Night, buddy.” Dax was worried. Jak sounded mondo depressed. Even though he was sure the green-blonde would be ecstatic when he saw what Dax was working on the next morning, he felt bad about upsetting him now. “Hey, Jak?”

“Hmm?”

“I love ya, pal.”

A wan smile flitted across the former hero’s face before Jak turned and headed up the stairs. “Love you, too.”

For two seconds Daxter almost went after him, but managed to hold himself back. It was worth it, he told himself firmly. It would all be worth it if he could only do this one simple thing for his best friend.

The redhead waited until he heard their bedroom door shut upstairs before turning to clean up the small mess he’d made with his snack. Carefully he refolded the letter to Rayn and tucked it back into its envelope, then placed the envelope very obviously in the center of the coffee table. She was sure to come back to base with the rest of their team, if only for a few minutes to be polite, and one of them would see it and give it to her. After that was done it was a small matter to dim the lights, and he finally slipped out into the cold chill of the silent garage.

Dax paused in the middle of the room, feeling a little out of sorts himself. It was time to get started, but he still couldn’t help worrying a bit. What if he couldn’t achieve what he wanted to? What if something went wrong?

//Nah, don’t think like that,// he told himself firmly. //Ya did this a month ago an’ ya can do it again. You’ll even do it better this time. An’ it’s gonna make yer best pal so happy he won’t know what ta do with himself.//

Keeping that hopeful prospect in mind, Daxter took a deep breath and quickly shifted into ottsel form. Precursor shape for Precursor power usage seemed to fit better, somehow. Swiftly stowing his human clothes on the seat of the Javelin X for a quick grab later, Dax readjusted his goggles and cracked his knuckles expertly as he did before every session working on the vehicles.

//B’sides, Orange Lightning can do *anything,* baby! Let’s get this party started!// He could only hope he’d had enough to eat beforehand…

- // - // - // - // -

Jak prepared for bed in a daze. Brushing his teeth, changing his clothes, and climbing between the sheets were all mechanical. It was only when the racer found himself on his back in bed staring at the darkened ceiling that the full realization of the situation hit home.

Daxter had pushed him away.

For the first time in more than a month, since Daxter had gone over his head to kick start their relationship, Jak felt cloying fear settle inside him. The redhead had been giving him subtle hints and nudges for weeks that he hadn’t acted upon. What if earlier that evening he had been offered his last chance, and hadn’t taken it, and now Daxter was tired of waiting around for something he could get easier somewhere else?

//I never should have left,// he thought for the hundredth time that night. //I was right where I needed to be. Dax shouldn’t have had to be disappointed. We shouldn’t have even heard Razer knocking, because we should’ve been upstairs already… listening to the bedsprings squeak…//

Rolling over abruptly, Jak buried his face in the pillow. He felt… he couldn’t even describe how bad he felt. Had he blown the only shot he had with Daxter?

//Why didn’t I just go along with it?// he thought hopelessly. //Would it really have killed me? I knew how much he wanted it, I shouldn’t have even bothered getting dressed when we got out if the shower. Damn it… he made himself enjoy fooling around with a man because I just *had* to want more from him than friendship, and I couldn’t even do something that small for him.//

The racer sighed bitterly. He almost didn’t blame the redhead for refusing him tonight.

//What Razer told him was probably to wake up and smell the daisies. Dax isn’t gay. I’m not gay. Why did I ever think this was going to work?// Well, that question at least he could answer. Daxter had told him it would work, and Jak had believed him. Needed to believe him, even… because the last thing he wanted to think about was what would happen to their friendship if their tentative romantic relationship failed.

//Now he’s probably pacing the garage wondering how to break it to me that we’re just friends again,// Jak thought uneasily. //Or trying to figure out how to tell me that it’ll be too awkward between us now, and he’s going to find someplace else to stay…//

That particular thought hurt worse than anything.

He had always known that part of his desire to be more to Daxter than just a good friend was the need to keep the redhead with him always. Of course Jak didn’t want to lose him to Tess, or any other woman. Someone else Dax could spend time with, someone soft and cute and sweet that he could kiss and snuggle, someone who wasn’t in danger of getting blown up on a daily basis…

The racer kept his eyes shut as tightly as possible, trying to deny the fact that they were burning. Living descendants of Mar did not cry, he reminded himself firmly. But the fact remained that, lineage aside, right at that moment he would have given anything, but *anything* for a warm ottsel draped over his back, kicking in his sleep and snoring softly. If Dax had never figured out how to make himself human again, this whole mess never would have…

And immediately Jak hated himself for the selfish thought. His next little fantasy, that Daxter would stay with him even though he didn’t want to anymore was even worse. //He got into this in the first place just to please me. I won’t let him keep trying if he’s not happy. I won’t.//

Oh, it would hurt to let him go. But he would do it. Dax was his best friend, the one he’d shared almost every single happy moment of his life with. No one else would ever come close to taking his place. Of course he wanted Dax to be happy.

Steeling himself, Jak took a deep breath and tried to calm down. He would talk to Daxter the next morning, and offer him an out. And if he took it…

//Precursors, please. I don’t care if we’re just friends, I don’t care if I can never touch him again. I’ll be happy with that, I’ll make just having him near me enough. Just please, please, *please*… don’t let him leave me altogether.//

He could only hope that somehow, he had been heard.

- * - * - * - * -

Elsewhere, at that very moment, a small furry entity peered curiously through a swirling viewer portal. Its ears drooped dispiritedly as it watched the racer toss and turn restlessly, trying in vain to fall asleep. “Aww… that’s sad.”

“Totally,” agreed the taller Precursor ottsel by its side. “Listen, dudes… I know we said we weren’t gonna touch this one, but… don’t you think we ought’a cut ‘em a break and give these guys a hand?”

“No, I don’t.” Very firmly the chubby Precursor waved the portal away with his staff. “This is something Orange Lightning is going to have to figure out on his own.”

“Come on, man. Don’t be mean.”

“Oh, I’m being far from mean.” There was a twinkle in the stocky ottsel’s eye as he motioned to another portal, directing his companions’ attention to the scene playing within it. “If you look over here, I think you’ll see that he’s doing quite well for himself so far.”

A grin slowly graced the furry face of the other. “Well I’ll be a talking fur ball. He did that without a staff to channel his energy?”

“Yes indeed.” There was almost a hint of pride in the leaser’s tone as he finally closed this portal too. “Of course he should have *asked* before doing something of that magnitude and delicacy, but his motives are pure enough. I think this time we can let it slide with a slap on the wrist. Now, let’s just hope it will accomplished what he wants it too when Jak sees what he’s done!”

“Dude.” The tallest of the three perked an ear admiringly. “And here I was wondering why you picked *that* guy, of all people, ta be one of us.”

- // - // - // - // -

It was very late when Daxter snuck back in from the garage. Judging by the boots and discarded jackets inside the door the team had returned, but had long since retired for the night. Now all the lights were out, and the base was dark and still. Silently the ottsel slipped up the stairs and crept like a shadow down the hall to the room he and Jak shared. The racer hadn’t left the door ajar, so he had to stretch hard to reach and turn the knob, but at last he made it inside.

Utterly exhausted, it was all Dax could do to climb up onto the bed. His tiny body ached. A trifle battered, slightly damp, smelling of rich dirt and salt water, he knew he should wash before collapsing next to Jak but just didn’t have the energy. He was even too tired to be very excited about what he had done.

//Tomorrow…// he thought dimly, squirming under the sleeping racer’s arm. //Tomorrow we’ll party. But right now…// He felt Jak’s arm unconsciously pull him nearer and smiled, snuggling in closer obligingly. Even considering the fun that lay ahead, right now there was nowhere else he would rather be. Tucked against Jak’s chest, Daxter sighed contentedly and drifted off to sleep.

- // - // - // - // -

To be continued…

-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --

(2nd)AN: Oh wow… what’s gonna happen??? Anybody think they know? Well hold onto that guess, and you’ll find out next chapter. Sorry about the complete lack of smushy-gushy romance this chapter, but just about every realistic relationship has its ups and downs, its trials and periods of doubt. It’ll get better, I promise.

And now… yep… on to the outtakes!

- - - - -

Light Jak Shoulder Angel: Did you really have to do that?

Dark Jak Shoulder Devil: Do what?

Light: Freak him out like that! You didn’t have to feed him those horrible mental images, especially in a public restaurant!

Dark: I did if I wanted him to switch me out for a minute. That steak looked *good.*

Light: …okay, you know what? When all three of us wind up in extensive psychotherapy, don’t come crying to me.

- - - - -

Sig: Okay Torn, since Jak took off and obviously doesn’t want this delicious dinner, I’ll just eat his steak for him and you can have his vegetables. Can’t let it all go to waste.

Torn: Well, why can’t I have the steak and you eat the vegetables?

Sig: Because you have’ta eat your veggies if ya wanna grow up big an’ strong like me.

Torn: Ha ha ha. That’s funny.

- - - - -

Dark: I mean, really though. If you think about it, it’s a wonder the redhead stuck with him this long.

Light: I hate to admit it, but you’re right. He is something of a furry little Casanova. And Jak knows Daxter better than anyone, so he knew what he was getting into trying to date him without sleeping with him too…

Dark: (sympathetic) Poor sap.

Light: (suspicious) Dark, why are you so concerned with Jak’s love life all of a sudden? It’s odd that you’re being so caring.

Dark: Oh, it’s simple. Sooner or later they’ll fight about it. Jak gets mad, I get out, the redhead gets cornered, and boom bam. We get some tail whether Jak likes it or not. Catch my drift, Nightlight?

Light: …does the thought of my wings wrapped around your neck, slowly choking the breath out of your sadistic lungs mean anything to you?

Dark: Mmm, tentacles… (licks lips) Kinky.

Light: *sob* I try, Jak. I try!!!

- - - - -

Daxter: Ya know, Razer, yer not so bad.

Razer: Neither are you, brat. Think fast! (steals a kiss)

Daxter: ……x_x

Razer: *smirk* Zee boy eez much too fun to tease. See you later, Dax—

Dark Jak: ((loom)) Grrrrrrr…

Razer: Oh, shit.

- - - - -

Torn: (sneaks up to the door) Alright, it’s time to see who won our bet.

Sig: Go on, then, open it!

Torn: (throws open door) A-HA!!! …oh, wait, they’re not here…

Keira: Aww… *pout* I was hoping they’d be making out.

Rayn: Well, since the couch is indeed empty, none of you win, and I’ll collect—(taps at calculator)—seventy Precursor orbs.

Keira: ((sigh)) O-kaaaay… hey, wait a second, that’s not right!

- - - - -

Torn: (throws open door) A-HA!!! …O.O

Sig: … o.O;;;

Jak: Uh… (mortally embarrassed)

Daxter: *blink blink* …what?

Rayn: OMG those stains are *never* going to come out of the upholstery!!!

Ashelin: (covers face) EWW!!! I am *so* never sitting on that couch again!

Keira: (awed) Where in the world did they get that much pudding…?