Nostrum
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Kingdom Hearts › Slash/Yaoi - Male/Male
Rating:
Adult +
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2
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1,431
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Category:
Kingdom Hearts › Slash/Yaoi - Male/Male
Rating:
Adult +
Chapters:
2
Views:
1,431
Reviews:
1
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Disclaimer:
Kingdom Hearts and all related characters, species, places, worlds, themes, and species belong to Square Enix and Tetsuya Nomura. I make NO MONEY off of thie work of fiction.
Nostrum
PsychoHanyo: FINALLY! I’ve been working on this for weeks! And now, two or three weeks later, I’m done!
Dedication: Happy 20thbirthday to my BFF LostInThought8! Hope you’re not too mad that it took so long to get this out, but I worked hard on it. So here you go.
Nbld: I own nothing but the plot. Saïx, Axel, Roxas, Xemnas, Sora, and all other mentioned characters are a part of Kingdom Hearts. As such, they belong to Square Enix and Tetsuya Nomura. I make NO money off of this work of fiction.
000
It shouldn’t have happened the way it did. No. Scratch that. It never should have happened in the first place. Days of running under purple and pink tinted water were replaced by scars and tattoos, hatred and anger. The laughter of two teenage boys didn’t appear when they were together anymore. Instead, snarls and arguments often bounced off of the castle walls. Harsh words were said before angry steps were taken to another location. ‘Accidental’ bumps of the arm replaced playful jests.
“What happened to us?” Axel asked aloud, knowing no one could hear him.
Alone in Castle Oblivion. A fitting end…no. A perfect beginning. No one would know if he just up and left, returned to the world he once called his home. Of course, nothing was the same. Ansem the Wise’s castle was broken down and in need of desperate repairs, water no longer flowed over manmade waterfalls. The streets were almost bare of people, as compared to when they were busy with the hustle and bustle of city life. If one could call Radiant Gardens a ‘city’.
“We were inseparable.” Axel went on as he walked, running his hand along white cobblestone walls. “Then Xehanort appeared. Talked you into helping him.” Axel sighed and punched the wall. “Of course, moron that you are, you listened. Wanted to get back at me for that whole ‘Ventus’ bullshit. What a moron.” Axel shoved his hands into his pockets and walked through a doorway.
Just as he had thought. Plain white walls with matching floor and ceiling greeted him. No sounds of explosions coming from the basement, Vexen’s lab. No squabbling from Marluxia and Larxene over exactly how to take over the Organization. Too quiet in this dreadful place. Axel thought of setting something afire, but there was nothing to burn. Not in Castle Oblivion. A few white-painted plants here and there, but that was it. They didn’t respond to flames. Damn Vexen for making paint that wasn’t flammable, and convincing the others to use it on things Axel might burn.
“And yet here we are.” Axel sighed and looked up. “Is this what you wanted, Ïsa? To make me as miserable as you thought I should feel? Joke’s on you, of course.” He chuckled to himself. “I can’t feel.”
It was a terrible joke. All of it. From pretending he gave a damn in the first place to moping around The Castle That Never Was like an imbecile. The games were fun-if you could call this mind-manipulation a game, that is. It seemed like things only got worse with the addition of Roxas and Xion, the Keyblade wielders. So what if they were around and Axel was with them every day. Saïx wouldn’t be jealous, would he? Nah.
000
Saïx paced back in forth in Xemnas’ room. His leader had requested him to discuss the ‘incident’ as Castle Oblivion. An unfortunate accident, Saïx would tell everyone else. Secretly, he was brimming with joy-or lack thereof, be as it may-that the traitors were gone. Axel had played his part well. Knight to King’s Rook five, or something along those lines. Zexion may have been the schemer of the group, but he was nothing when you put Saïx’s knowledge of the other members with Xemnas’ leadership abilities. Well…what little abilities he had, that is. It seemed the ‘leader’ was more suited for simply giving speeches that dragged out longer then necessary. Was Xehanort a politician before he became one of Ansem the Wise’s apprentices? Xemnas finally entered the room.
“Oh, you’re here.” He greeted the younger Nobody.
Saïx nodded once. “As you requested.” He responded.
“It seems Axel hasn’t come back yet.”
Saïx shook his head.
“Could the Key-brat have gotten to him as well?”
“I seriously doubt it, sir.” Saïx sighed. He’d had this exact discussion with Xemnas numerous times before, since word came back from the Dusks.
“Do the others suspect anything?”
“Not to my knowledge.”
Xemnas nodded. “Good. Good.” He paused for a moment, a rare occurrence. “Has there been any word about Axel at all?”
“None from the Dusks. The only communication I have with him is through them.” Saïx said.
“We really should get a form of communication to use with those who are on missions.” Xemnas said. He seemed to be pondering the thought, as he stared at the partly formed Kingdom hearts outside his window. “Get one of the others on it. Vexen, probably.”
“Vexen is deceased.” Saïx reminded his elder.
“Ah. Yes, so he is.” Xemnas seemed to think for a moment, then shrugged. “Very well. Forget I said anything. Go to Castle Oblivion. Find Axel and bring him back.”
“Me?” Saïx was a bit surprised, he had to admit.
Xemnas hardly sent him out on missions, preferring instead to keep his second-in-command very close by. It must have been only because the traitors were weeded out that Xemnas had told Saïx to leave. He’d probably feared an assassination attempt by either Marluxia or Larxene, or both. As preposterous as the idea was, Saïx had to admit that it wasn’t beyond the two of them. With them gone, Xemnas was most likely more at ease.
“Who else?” Xemnas grinned a sadistic smirked. “He’s more likely to listen to you, considering your history.”
Saïx flushed, taking what Xemnas said out of context. “How much do you know?”
“That Lea and Ïsa were inseparable until Xehanort came into play.” Xemnas looked at him over his shoulder. “He really had you under his control, hm?”
Saïx fought back a snarl. Things were different before Xehanort, the man Xemnas used to be, had come into the picture.
“I wouldn’t say that, sir.” Saïx said calmly, though a fire was burning inside of him.
Xemnas chuckled. “I do say so.” He confirmed, looking back at Kingdom Hearts. “Very well, then. I can see we are done here. I’m going to the roof. You go and retrieve our little spy.”
Saïx bowed a bit. “As you wish, Xemnas.” He nodded.
Saïx left through the doorway and silently shut it behind him. “We’ll see who’s under whose control once I’m done, Xemnas.”
000
Axel looked out the window in a tower of Castle Oblivion. There were only two of the damned things. No use for them, really, other then decorations. Then again, what person without a heart would enjoy them? Surely that must have been thought of during construction. Needless to say, the Organization found it, but they didn’t build it. It was a world of its own…once…changed by the darkness. Axel didn’t really know why, but it didn’t matter. Nothing that faded back to nothing mattered. If it did, it wouldn’t have been lost in the first place. Would it have?
“There has to be another way.” Axel muttered. “There have to have been. What happened to Lea and Ïsa…it was a mistake.”
“A mistake indeed.” A voice said.
A bit startled, Axel turned to confront who would dare sneak up on him like that. “Oh. It’s you.”
“You don’t sound happy to see me.” Saïx smirked, knowing the answer before Axel said it.
“I feel nothing about you.” Axel informed.
“Sure you don’t.” Saïx said. He took a few steps closer. “You’re flushing…pulse racing…blood pressure rising…is that sweat I see?”
Axel cocked an eyebrow. “Your mind fuckery won’t work on my, Saïx. Go bother someone else.”
“I’m here on business.” Saïx argued. “Xemnas sent me to retrieve you, since you’re so late in returning.”
“Ah, the puppet master.” Axel chuckled and leaned against the windowsill, arms folded over his chest. “I see he’s still holding your leash.”
Saïx scowled. “The time will come.” He informed. “I haven’t forgotten about our original plans.”
“I’ve noticed how ‘plans’ don’t exactly fit in with the Organization.” Axel said. “It caused the deaths of five people.”
Saïx cleared his throat. “Nobodies.” He said. “Not people.”
“Whatever you say.” Axel rolled his bright green eyes. “So what are you going to do if I don’t go back with your willingly?”
Saïx raised an eyebrow. “You’re not going back?”
“Was that a hint of disappointment in there?” Axel leaned off the wall a little.
“Of course not.” Saïx cleared his throat.
“Sure.” Axel chuckled. “You can’t hide much from me, Saïx. You’re too bad at lying. No wonder I was sent here to do the dirty work.”
“You know there are other reasons.”
“Yeah, you’re right. You and Xemnas wanted alone time.”
Saïx snarled. “Shut your mouth, Axel.” He ordered. “You know as well as I do that the only reason I got close to that fool was so I could overthrow him, and we could take his place. There’s nothing else there.”
Axel rolled his eyes. “Do you think I don’t know that?” He wondered. “You’re just as much of a traitor as those two you had killed.”
“I didn’t ‘have them killed’.” Saïx said. “The Key-Bearer did that himself.”
“Sure.”
“Sure?” Saïx raised an eyebrow. “He had help?”
Axel simply blinked. “What happens in the basement stays in the basement.” He informed. “At least that’s what Marluxia always said.”
Saïx sputtered for a moment before regaining his composure. “That’s more then I needed to hear, Axel.”
Axel shrugged one shoulder, not really caring.
“Might I ask…uh…”
“Vexen.”
“I figured. I…hope you never had to see that.”
“They’d kick Zexion and Lexaeus out of the basement, so I knew not to go down there when I saw them.” Axel responded. “But we’re getting off topic here, Saïx.”
“Was there a topic to begin with?”
“I believe you know the answer to that.”
“Something about a mistake.”
Axel rolled his eyes. He wasn’t going to get anywhere. “I’m leaving.” He started to walk past Saïx, but the elder Nobody grabbed him by the arm.
“How much of a mistake?” Saïx wondered.
“Hm?”
“Xehanort and Lea and Ïsa.” Saïx responded. “How much of a mistake?”
“…You tell me.”
Saïx didn’t answer.
“Just tell me one thing, Saïx.”
“Yes?”
Axel looked away. “Why?”
“Why?”
“Ïsa…and Lea…”
“Oh.”
“Why did he betray him?”
“I think you’re wondering, why did I betray you.”
Axel didn’t answer.
“I don’t believe it was a betrayal.” Saïx said.
“Of course you don’t.”
“What’s that meant to mean?”
“It means what it means, Saïx, don’t bullshit me.” Axel rolled his eyes. “Whatever. I know I’m not going to get an answer from you. Have fun on your pedestal.” He yanked his arm away and kept walking.
“Hey, wait a minute.” Saïx sighed.
“Yes?” Axel put his hand on the doorframe as he stopped.
Saïx walked up behind him, taking a deep breath as he walked over. He wrapped an arm around Axel’s waist and pulled him close in a pseudo hug.
“Uh…Saïx…” Axel found himself flushing at the touch of his former friend. They hadn’t had any physical contact since they became Axel and Saïx.
“I have no answer for you.” Saïx informed. “Maybe an apology is in due order, but that’s about all I can offer.”
“…You can let me go now.” Axel said after a minute.
Saïx did as Axel suggested, watching his former best friend disappear down the winding staircase. After a moment’s hesitation, he followed him.
000
Axel was pacing in the foyer when Saïx finally caught up with him.
“You’re still here?” Saïx wondered.
“I felt that just as well as you did, Ïsa.” Axel sneered, not stopping his pacing.
“Felt what?”
Axel stopped and looked point blank at Saïx’s crotch, where a slight tent had formed. Saïx folded his hands over the area.
“Shut up.” Saïx said. “Natural reaction.”
“To hugging a friend around the waist?” Axel chuckled, but it sounded more like a forced cough. He resumed his pacing.
“What’s your deal?” Saïx raised an eyebrow. “You’re so jittery and you should be back at the castle.”
“In a hurry to get back to your master?”
Saïx gave him a look. “Are you still going to play with me about that?” He wondered. “And stop calling him my master. He’s my boss. And yours as well, in case you don’t remember.”
Axel didn’t argue that point. As of late, he found himself questioning Xemnas’ leadership more and more. Something was different. Ever since the arrival of Roxas and Xion. Oh, shit. They were probably wondering where he was by now.
“I remember.” Axel nodded once, still pacing.
“Hm.” Saïx responded. “I don’t exactly believe you. Ever since the addition of those two brats…”
“My friends, Saïx.” Axel sneered. “Not brats.”
“They’re not your friends. We are friends.”
“We used to be.”
“At least it was real.”
“Excuse me?”
“This is all a farce. A lie.”
“Who are you to talk about lies?” Axel sneered. “You used me to the very end. I still don’t know why. We were friends since we were kids, Ïsa. Still in diapers, we were following each other to the ends of the playground and back.”
“You remember, then?”
“Obviously you’ve forgotten.”
Saïx gave him a look. “Never.” He said. “You don’t just forget something like that. Once the puppet has been used to its maximum capacity, the two of them will merge into one. Do you think they’ll remember you then? Remember every night you had Roxas screaming your name at the top of his fucking lungs? Or when the puppet said her first word?”
It was Axel’s turn to glare. “It’s not your business.”
“Sure thing.” Saïx rolled his eyes. “In all honesty, will they remember the past you shared? Not like we do.”
“Exactly. The past.” Axel snarled. “You and I know full well how easily the memory can be manipulated.”
“That’s what Castle Oblivion is for, I suppose.” Saïx chuckled. “And the witch.”
Axel nodded once. “I don’t know where she got off to, so don’t ask me.”
Saïx shrugged one shoulder. The disappearance of a lower Nobody meant nothing to him, really. And why should it? The loss of the members at Castle Oblivion didn’t matter to him. Or any of the survivors, most likely.
“And what of the Key-Brat? Saïx wondered.
“I have no idea, either.” Axel shook his head. “Neither of them.”
“Liar.”
Axel cocked an eyebrow and smirked. “You and I both know I’m not lying.” He informed.
“You and I both know you are.”
“Don’t turn my words around.” Axel sneered.
Saïx shrugged.
“Whether I chose a life with them or a life with you is not of concern right now. Who knows what other tricks you have up your sleeve. I don’t want to put them in the line of fire when the time comes.”
“My plans involve no one.” Saïx said. “Once Kingdom Hearts is completed, we take the Castle by force and get our hearts back. Simple plan, same as before.”
Axel contemplated that for a moment before nodding. “I suppose it is.” He agreed.
Saïx smirked. “Are you still with me?”
“I’m either with you or against you, I believe were your words.”
“You’re dodging the question.”
“You dodge mine.”
“I’m your superior.”
“So what?”
Saïx sighed. There was no reasoning with the redhead, was there? “It’s a simple question.”
“So was mine.”
“Why isn’t always easy to figure out.” Saïx shook his head. “How am I to know what Ïsa’s intentions were?”
“You’re him.”
“And you’re Lea.”
“So?”
“Do you remember everything he ever did and why?”
“No.” Axel shook his head. “But I do remember how hurt he was when his best friend decided that some love interest was more important.”
“Love interest?” Saïx wondered. “Xehanort? Ugh, are you kidding me? I’m telling you, there is nothing there!”
“Really? How should I know? You’re practically up his ass all the time.” Axel smirked. “Pun intended.”
Saïx rolled his eyes and snarled at his former friend. “I know it’s true.”
“Prove it.”
“How can I prove it?” Saïx chuckled.
“It’s not impossible. Impractical, maybe.”
Saïx thought for a minute as Axel walked towards the front doors of the Castle. Saïx sighed, coming to a conclusion. “I know one way I can prove it.”
“Yeah?” Axel looked over his shoulder, stopping in his tracks.
Saïx walked up to him and spun him around by the wrist. He sighed and pressed his lips to Axel’s. The redhead’s eyes widened before slowly sliding shut. He pulled Saïx closer by the waist. Their kiss lasted only a moment or two before Axel pulled away. Saïx’s blue eyebrow raised. “Well?”
“How does that prove anything?”
“If I was as committed to Xemnas as you believe…”
“Everyone believes it.”
“Fine. if I was as committed to Xemnas as everyone believes, then would I have done that?”
“I’m still not convinced.” Axel said. “How do I know you’re not going to go home, go to his room, breakdown and confess what happened? And then apologize until your throat’s run dry?”
“I stake our friendship on it.”
“What friendship?”
Upon seeing the slightly hurt look in Saïx’s eyes, Axel almost took the words back. Then he remembered that Saïx had no emotions and therefore, the hurt was fake. Axel let go of his former best friend’s waist.
“We should get back to the Castle.” He muttered.
“Why in such a hurry?” Saïx smirked. “Feeling guilty for betraying your Key-Brat like that?”
“Would you stop calling him that?” Axel rolled his eyes. “I thought we didn’t have emotions. Why the jealousy?”
“It’s just a playful jest.”
“Sure it is.”
“You’re the one who’s angry.”
“Angry?” Axel raised his eyebrow. “Over what?”
“Over the disintegration of Lea and Ïsa.”
“I’m disappointed. It was predictable, I guess, but that’s about it.”
“Sure.” Saïx rolled his eyes. “The anger will only grow once you have your heart back. And then what?”
“Then we go our separate ways and you can have the Organization. Or whatever will be left of it by that time.”
“Perhaps I shouldn’t assist you in getting your heart back. It would save me the trouble.”
“I never thought you’d keep your promise in the first place.” Axel shrugged one shoulder. “It would be no surprise to me if I never got back my heart.”
“What makes you think I’d actually do that? Use you to get to the top? Please, Axel, you misjudge me.”
“You’ll use anyone you can get your hands on. Or anyone you can convince Xemnas is a traitor. What if Marluxia and Larxene hadn’t been traitors? What would have happened then? Would you still kill them or let them go? The first one, of course, because they’re a threat.”
Saïx rolled his eyes. “A neophyte is only as much of a threat as we make them.”
“In case you’ve forgotten, you’re a neophyte too. I don’t give a Heartless’ ass what your position is. You’re just like the rest of us.”
Saïx rolled his eyes. “If you say so, Lea.” He sneered.
Axel gave him a stern look, his normally bright eyes cold. “Don’t call me that.”
“Or what?”
Axel ignored that question. “I still say you’re using me. Me and everyone else that you deem is below you.”
“That doesn’t answer my question. Either of them, for that matter.” Saïx took a few steps closed and looked into Axel’s bright green eyes with his own stunning golden ones.
“What do you mean ‘either’?”
“Axel, did you really forget what I asked?” Saïx wondered, cocking an eyebrow. “Or are you just playing dumb and hoping that I’ll shut up?”
“The latter, of course.” Axel’s smirk matched Saïx’s.
Saïx rolled his eyes. “Do you want me to prove it to you or not? Or are your false emotions getting in the way?”
“I don’t have emotions.” Axel shook his head. “I just pretend, just like you.”
“Doesn’t seem like you are.”
Axel rolled his eyes. “No, I wouldn’t feel bad for betraying Roxas like that. I don’t feel.” He smirked. “But he does.”
“Hm?”
“Roxas makes it seem like…I do have a heart. I mean…oh, why am I talking about this with you?” He waved his hand in Saïx’s direction, dismissing the thought. “Anyway, I’m out of here. It’s late. No doubt they’re wondering where we went.”
“They’re all too busy discussing the ‘accidental’ deaths here at the Castle.” Saïx said. “They’re not going to notice if we have some time to ourselves.” His hand snaked up Axel’s arm to his shoulder. “What do you say? Ready for me to prove my intentions?”
Axel seemed to think about it for a moment or two. “I suppose.” He looked around the foyer. “But where are we going to go? It’s not like there are actual beds in here. We all slept in stairways, or on the floor. I think Zexion used his lab table as a bed once. I remember Vexen yelling at him for sleeping on top of equipment once.”
“Stop talking, Axel.” Saïx grasped Axel’s hand in his, entwining their fingers. “Come.”
They vanished into a dark portal.