Autumnal Decay

(Author's Note: More PG than anything else. Sorry, guys, no smut this time. This was written for myself more than anyone else, since autumn is a season that I really, really love, and it's really the most inspiring time of year for me. I love the colors and all the new Starbucks coffee flavors (hurr) and stuff like that.

So, forgive me for being sappy and fluffy for once, but I was in need to create something that would make one feel like they just swallowed a puppy.

This was written in Xemnas' POV.

Disclaimer: I don't own Xemnas or Saïx and all that jazz. Kingdom Hearts is the sole property of Disney and SquEnix.

Enjoy, and reviews are lurb.)

Autumnal Decay


The only constant in the universe is change, as one scholar once wrote. The world will decay, and will thus be born anew in what is known as an equinox of creation, life, and vitality. This quarter is more commonly known as ‘spring’ by those who identify themselves with mortality, however, that is not the case.

This is a time of decay. When the world explodes into colors more bold and vibrant than most of the shades and saturations thereof affiliated with newborn birds and buzzing bees, often more grotesque and overwhelming for some things in nature that try to traverse away from it, or conceal themselves from the ever shifting world to hide in their caves, stowing their thoughts and very beings away until the world sings softly in their ears. Some cannot handle the inevitable trumpeting of the holiday season, the warmth despite the cold, and the fond sensation one experiences deep inside when in the vicinity of compassion.

Saïx is one of those creatures.

As I hold his hand, he growls in disgust as monarch butterflies attack his blue hair, as crimson, gold, and rust-colored leaves fall from the sky to pollute the appearance of his harsh, black felt coat. He snarls at happy, playing children and those who are friendly enough to approach despite the jagged scar on his brow. Of course, I greet them cordially, but when the berserker who I forced to accompany me grabs me about the waist and crushes me against his own form like a jealous dog, it is oft that people opt to avoid us as a whole as a result of Saïx’s hostility.

I do detest it, but at the same time, I appreciate his overprotective nature. There is something comforting about how, although I am perfectly capable of defending my own well being, he will grab me by the hip or wrist or shoulder and pull me into his own form as a clear connotation that if the one approaching meant me harm, he or she will suffer the consequences of fang and tooth.

Often I lean against him to let him know that I enjoyed the contact, but afterward I would gently scold him. And often, he would say nothing. The entire park is alive, save for the man at my side.

He hadn’t communicated more than a grunt or growl ever since we left the lair, and I was beginning to get a little worried, despite the circumstances. He held my hand, and I held his, but he was not being at all agreeable with the season on the rise and the energy around us. Saïx definitely did not want to be there, despite that I promised him that I would get on my back and spread my legs for him if he so desired.

As a matter of fact, he did not seem all excited about all that, either.

I, as his superior, decided to exploit his discomfort until he, in turn, made the decision to ‘join in on the fun’, as these common folk say. I began to search for something that would do the job well, and upon finding many small children leaping into a large pile of what looked like maple leaves, I quickly ran from the berserker that was holding so tightly onto my hand so that he would not be able to grab me and pull me back in order to hide from his own insecurities.

Mimicking the little ones with a curious grin on my face, I hunched over the leaf-covered ground and began stirring up the discarded plant life until a mountain of yellow and orange and red had been erected in its wake. Only until then did I look at Saïx.

He, of course, had the most sour of looks on his deadly face, his eyebrows drawn in a confused furrow and chin pointed down so that his gold eyes were squinted into a leer. His arms were crossed over his chest and he was tapping his foot impatiently.

When our eyes met, he blurted, “What is the meaning of this, Superior? This holds no relevance to our research here, in this world.”

“Why, of course it does!” I replied simply, gesturing at the mountain of leaves. “Did you not see the children playing in something similar to this? Although some of the plant species are not the same, it is identical to the other mounds in the area. Wouldn’t you agree?”

“And equally ridiculous,” Saïx grumbled, and then it was my turn to glare.

“Come, now. Why don’t you just try it? Just…jump!” I tried to emphasize what I meant by thrusting both hands toward the mound of leaves, bobbing on the balls of my feet, my leather loafers squeaking unceremoniously.

Saïx did not look moved.

“…Allow me to demonstrate,” I resorted, looking behind myself to make sure none of the tinier creatures were behind me, also checking for trees that I had not taken into account beforehand, or had otherwise forgotten. Seeing as ‘the coast was clear’ (another mortal slang term), I began to run from the position in which I’d backed up to, and, a few feet from the pile of leaves, leapt into it.

I imagine it was comical for my dear Saïx, really. I remember landing on my face and getting a nose-full of allergy-inducing mold cast into the air by the decomposing leaves, and I could picture myself, a man of rather tall stature, gangling his way clumsily toward a mountain of scarlet and bronze and diving haphazardly into it, casting some of the star-shaped things into the air itself.

I was startled to hear deep, rich laughter fill the air, even more surprised to find out that it was of my own creation. I was forced to roll on my back in the pile, leaves clinging to my overcoat and scarf, wrapping my own arms around my own body as that same satirical thought looped through my brain like a cartoon short. I laughed and laughed, unable to open my eyes, and I was sure that at that point my face was flushed red. I couldn’t breathe, and I could hear my blood rushing in my ears. It was a bit alarming that I could not inhale a single breath, and so I willed myself to stop that silly sounding exhalation, slowly opening my ginger eyes to stare up into the gold eyes of my most trusted advisor.

Saïx was looming over me, his arms still crossed over his chest, and he looked more concerned than amused. Concerned for my safety of body, or of health…I did not know. More laughing ensued, and I had to shut my eyes again at the force rushing through my chest. ‘I will have to study this reaction more in-depth at another time,’ I remember thinking to myself, ‘but for now, I will enjoy it. Saïx or no Saïx.’

Now that I recall…it was a fleeting feeling, no matter how much painful pressure was applied to my ribs and chest, and I felt as though I actually had something deep within that created that laughter. I do not much remember how long it lasted, but I do know that I experienced a glimpse of my heart just then. Just a glimpse. Like a falling leaf through an open window.

It was when I felt a pressure uncharacteristic to laughing atop my body that I opened my eyes, low chuckles sounding through my parted smile. When my own optics opened, I saw my lover’s own fixated on mine, wide with wonder, a look much like that of a curious, wild animal.

“What was that about?” he inquired, his voice soft and low, as if he wanted me to follow suit, as if a secret were to be shared between us. He was also leaning in very close, and I took it as an opportunity to wrap both of my arms around his neck.

“That, I do not know, my Luna Diviner,” I whispered, pulling him down so that our lips barely touched. My own caramel lips glided softly against his cream ones as I spoke once more, “But it was wonderful. You should try it sometime.” Like the period at the end of that sentence, as final as the curtains closing on the final act, I pressed my lips firmly to his in an open-mouthed kiss.

What I felt then was more special, more exuberant than any laughter that could ever occur in my non-existence. Feeling his breath against my face, and our skin, although exposed to the cold, melting and melding together, we lay in those leaves, relishing in the sensations of touch and pure affection. I could hear our souls, wherever they were, calling out and crying out for each other, even as they embraced.

His mouth tasted oddly sweet and found it to be only a cliché daydream come to life when he whispered to me, “You taste of spice.” I was compelled to chuckle at the stereotypical notion, but the fact that it counteracted his uncharacteristic sugary, creamy flavor caused me to melt underneath him. I turned into a perpetual goop in his arms and in his kisses, which had extended from my lips, to my cheek, to my jaw, an down underneath my chin and he stopped after his thin mouth cradled my Adam’s apple and suckled it as if it were a rare drink. I remember that sensation well, because it was the last one I felt before he shifted his weight and rested his own form beside me.

I rolled on my side and found him staring at me, but all I offered to him was a soft smirk in response to his lingering gaze. I lifted a gloved hand to press it against his cool cheek, caressing under his eye with my thumb, pouring all the affection I could into the gesture. I was satisfied when the touch was reciprocated on my own jaw, and I shut my eyes into the touch, nuzzling his hand and kissing his wrist.

Moments later, we ended up staring into each other’s eyes, searching and finding and losing all at once. To ‘put the icing on the cake’, his mouth was curved into a flawless smile, his eyelids lowered in a look of adoration.

And it warmed me to know that adoration was meant for me, and only me.

Squirming closer, I pressed another, short kiss to his lips, a frown drawing mine down in a perfect imitation of sorrow. “Do you feel that we will decay…much like the leaves? The trees? The things in this world that are dying in order to make room for more life?”

I could see that Saïx was a bit startled by the question by the way that his smile disappeared, a smile which had lingered after the kiss, and how his gold eyes widened and azure brows lifted. “…I am unsure as to how I should respond, Xemnas, for I have yet to experience a Nobody such as what we are to decay.”

“…I see,” I murmured, a little sardonic smile making its way to my face. I closed my eyes and felt golden sunlight dancing behind my eyelids, appearing as dots on both our bodies and all around us in the form of bright camouflage because of the molting tree above us. I began to speak again before I felt a finger press against my lips, and I opened my eyes to stare, once more, into the narrowed eyes of my right-hand man.

“Do not speak of such things. You just got me liking this place, and I do not want it to be another location in which I was reminded about how I will eventually…” he trailed off, the final word sticking to the roof of his mouth as if it were a thick marmalade. He swallowed and whispered the single word, “…disappear.”

Releasing a little chuckle of understanding, I pressed another kiss to my beloved berserker’s lips, giving his jaw an affectionate caress. “Very well,” I said, “but you must continue to come with me here whenever I wish. You must become more social. You have perfectly functional skills in dealing with a large populous of persons, however…you refuse to use that skill to your advantage. Can you tell me why that is, Saïx?”

The blue-haired Nobody beside me made a bit of a face at that question, and then smiled, rather mischievously at that. “You have me all wrong, Xemnas. Nonetheless, that conversation will have to wait until another time. The cool air is seeping through my coat.”

I fought off a whimper as he left his spot against the moist leaves to stand, brushing himself off and plucking remnants of decayed plant out of his hair. Only when he was finished preening did he hold out a hand to help me up, and I was already hunkered over myself, trying to get my bones, which had become lazy, back into animation. Looking up, I took that outstretched hand and stood up fully, a soft giggle making my chest quiver when Saïx reached to pluck at my coat and sift through my hair for any leaves that may be tainting my persona.

“I do believe it is time for tea, or perhaps coffee,” he suggested, grabbing a hold of my hand once he was satisfied with how I looked. “And I do remember seeing a café on the way to this place.”

“Something hot would sound nice, however…” I muttered, leaning against Saïx as we began our trek out of the park and back out onto the main road, “…I do believe I am in the mood for hot chocolate.”


(Author's Note: I really hope you all enjoyed, and give me feedbacks! <3)