All Around Me

Disclaimer: Don’t own Kingdom Hearts II. I wish I did believe me. I’m sorry for the long wait on Sanctuary. My sister who is also my Beta has my second chapter of the fic but she’s off in Europe for the week so I’m waiting for her to get back. Thank you all for your patience with me. I hope this fic will hold you over. Language warnings as with all my fics. This fic is about Axel/Roxas and the extents Axel would go to in order to get his Roxas back. This takes place in the game timeline. Lemon in later chapters. Forgive me for any grammatical errors. As I said my sister is off in Europe for the week lol. Please read and review and tell me what you think. This fic is based off of Flyleaf’s All Around Me. I absolutely love the song and if I offend anyone by the use of this song for Axel/Roxas forgive me. And yes Axel is a bit crazy in this. Also while I was transferring the fic the lyrics of the song was in bold but when I transferred it it kinda messed it up so forgive me for the mess.

~song lyrics~

No one had seen Axel come back into the stronghold. No one knew that Axel was sitting up on top of a building in the World that Never Was. But there he was. Sitting in the pouring rain with his hood over his face and one of his knees drawn up to his chest. He had just barely made it back from his fight with Roxas. He knew he was no match for the Keyblade Master’s nobody. He knew he had failed to save his love and it was tearing him apart. Axel knew that he shouldn’t be feeling anything. He was a nobody and nobodies didn’t feel. They didn’t have hearts. But then why couldn’t he stop the tears from streaming down his face? Why couldn’t he stop the pain he felt?

~My hands are searching for you
My arms are outstretched towards you
I feel you on my fingertips
My tongue dances behind my lips
For you~

This was all the old man’s fault. Axel was sure he had done something to Roxas to make him forget who he was. To make him forget everything Axel and him had shared…to make him forget Axel himself. Axel closed his eyes tightly to try to stop the onslaught of tears burning his eyes.

“Pull it together Axel…..Roxas will be gone soon…..why couldn’t he see he was throwing away everything?! His memories, his existence….me….” Axel said as his voice cracked.

~This fire runs in through my being
Burning I’m not used to seeing you
I’m alive I’m alive~

Axel took in a shuddering breath as he kept his eyes closed. He had not heard one person ask about Roxas. In fact…most of Organization XIII was laughing at Roxas. Axel had already heard some of his fellow Organization members snickering and talking about Roxas just from where he was as they walked down the streets below. Axel clinched his fist as hard as he could. Was he the only one that cared if Roxas lived or died? It pissed him off to no end. Roxas was everything to him.

Axel started taking deep breaths as memories of him and Roxas flooded his mind. Times they had together….how they first met….when their friendship took a drastic turn towards something more…..how they spent most of their free time fucking in the first available area. Axel could remember it all…..yet Roxas could remember none of it. Axel smiled to himself when he thought back to when he would pound Roxas against a wall. He could practically hear Roxas begging for more. Axel could see the wanton looks Roxas would give Axel when he was being fucked. Those would be things Axel would never see again. Axel let out a choked sob when he thought he may never see his best friend and lover again.


~I can feel you all around me
Thickening the air I’m breathing
Holding on to what I’m feeling
Savoring this heart that’s healing~


Axel narrowed his eyes as he kept thinking about Roxas and everything they had been through together. Axel was seriously starting to question all of what Xemnas constantly preached about Nobodies having no heart and no feelings. Axel had far too many emotions running through him at the moment for that to be true. He felt an overwhelming sense of hatred towards the old man that led his Roxas to his demise. He felt anger over having to fight his best friend to try and get through to him. But most of all….he felt guilt because he couldn’t stop Roxas from disappearing.

“Roxas…..Damn it why did you have to be so stupid?!! I never gave you a reason not to trust me……what did they do to you? You were never so trusting…..Roxas…”Axel said as he gave another choked sob keeping his eyes closed.

~My hands float up above me
And you whisper you love me
And I begin to fade
Into our secret place~


Axel wiped his eyes and stared down onto the streets below. Roxas was the only thing that Axel really cared about. Axel knew then he actually cared about Roxas. He was now starting to doubt everything he was told and thus….he questioned his loyalty to Organization XIII. He was finally starting to understand why Roxas wanted to leave. Did Roxas question too?

“No of course not….I doubt he had feelings for me…he just wanted to find out why the Keyblade chose him.” Axel scoffed to himself bitterly.


~The music makes me sway
The angels singing say
We are alone with you
I am alone and they are too
With you~

Axel looked down when he could hear the sound of Luxord and Xaldin passing by. He knew they didn’t know he was there on the building above them. How ironic that he sat atop of the very building Roxas fought Riku in front of. Axel would have laughed if he wasn’t trying to hear what his fellow Organization members were saying.

“Sora has awakened at last.” Xaldin said. Axel could see Luxord glance over towards Xaldin as he flipped a card in his hands almost as if he was bored.

“Roxas was just a traitor to the Organization….Yet he gets to reunite with his other. He gets to become whole….hardly seems fair to me.” Luxord replied.

Axel narrowed his eyes as he listened. Unfortunately he couldn’t hear anymore as Xaldin and Luxord walked on. Axel felt himself clinching his fists to the point they started bleeding. They had no idea. They didn’t know what unfair was. Axel shut his eyes and trembled with barely controlled rage.

“You bastards…you don’t know anything…..unfair was having to watch Roxas crack little by little….knowing he wasn’t normal….unfair was having to see the regret in his eyes as we fought…..unfair was having to watch him hand over his existence….he didn’t WANT to reunite with his other!” Axel nearly shouted as he stood up letting his hood fall back. The rain soaked his hair to his face as he glared down at the streets. All of a sudden…..everything went silent. He knew….He knew at that point Roxas was gone. Axel closed his eyes and turned his head away ignoring the warm, thin stream of blood running down his hand.

~I’m alive I’m alive
I can feel you all around me
Thickening the air I’m breathing
Holding on to what I’m feeling
Savoring this heart that’s healing~

Axel felt more tears running down his face before he violently wiped his eyes with the back of his hand. Axel had made a decision that he knew would ultimately mean his life. He wanted Roxas again; he wanted to see him, wanted to kiss him, wanted to taste him and wanted to hold him again. Axel opened his eyes as he stared out ahead of him. Roxas couldn’t be gone he wasn’t just going to accept that his best friend was gone. Even if it took Axel’s last breath he would find Roxas again and he would bring him back no matter what it took.

Axel gave a bit of a smirk as he stared out ahead of him. Roxas left the Organization because he started questioning too much. Axel had to laugh at the fact that now he was about to do the same thing. Except Axel was never one to just leave with a simple goodbye. Oh no he’d make sure he got what he wanted.

“Looks like I’m following after you anyway Roxas….You said you’d be waiting in the next life…..well no better time than the present baby.” Axel said to no one in particular.

~And so I cry….
The light is white….
And I see you….
I’m alive I’m alive I’m alive~

Axel finally looked down at his hand and he tilted his head watching the blood wash away with the rain. Whatever Xemnas had told them….it must not have pertained to Axel. Axel had emotions. He knew this because of what he was feeling at the moment. He missed his Roxas. He needed Roxas. He may not have had a heart…..but he had emotions. Axel raised an eyebrow as he briefly contemplated what a heart was. Axel actually laughed when he recalled what Demyx had been saying this entire time.

“Yeah well that idiot will never hear me admit that he was right. I think we do have hearts…..if we don’t….oh well. It’s a nice thought…..I just know I need Roxas…..and I’ve always been a sore loser so naturally I have to find him and kick his ass just to prove a point.” Axel said with a smirk. He crossed his arms before he gave a bit of a wave and turned to leave through a portal. Roxas was all that was on Axel’s mind. Anything else didn’t really matter to Axel. Axel narrowed his eyes as he walked through the portal. Sora was his only connection to his Roxas so far.

“I will find you again Roxas….and when I do…..I’ll give you your life back….I don’t know where we’ll go but I’ll protect you.” Axel said softly as he appeared on Destiny Islands in the middle of the night.

~I can feel you all around me
Thickening the air I’m breathing
Holding on to what I’m feeling
Savoring this heart that’s healing~

Axel made his way to the secret place and just stared blankly at the drawings on the wall. He walked up to the drawing of Sora and Kairi sharing a papou fruit. Axel knelt down and lightly fingered the drawing of Sora. For some reason or the other the drawing reminded him of Roxas.

“I’ll set you free somehow Roxas…..and I think I know how to do it…..this is HIS home world. Not yours. You are everything to me…I know that now. I have to know….I have to know if I meant as much to you. That look you gave in our last fight…..I know deep down that I do but I have to hear it from you baby….”Axel said to himself as he stood up and smirked at the drawing of Kairi.

~Take my hand I give it to you
Now you own me
All I am
You said you would never leave me
I believe you I believe~

Axel turned on his heel wiping his eyes one last time for good measure. He walked out to the beach and looked out towards the horizon. He turned and walked down the beach lightly kicking sand as he went clear his mind was set.

“Sora took the one thing that mattered to me…..I’m just going to return the favor. His girlfriend should do nicely to lure him out. Then he’ll lose his heart and I’ll have Roxas back…..after all all’s fair in love and war….” Axel said as he walked down the beach almost in a carefree manner. Axel had now went back to hiding his true emotions and thoughts. Those were reserved for Roxas only.

~I can feel you all around me
Thickening the air I’m breathing
Holding on to what I’m feeling
Savoring this heart that’s healed…~