Finally finished reading all of this and I really like it. Some parts that are rough and could use development and polish but otherwise its very good.
if no one's mentioned it before, I will. I would like Isara to live and maybe have some incest babies with Welkin if you could indulge me. Also can't wait to see the payoff between Ted and Marina. Really rooting for Ted here.
VC gets my support
I'm super hyped for VC4 too. Glad it inspired you to continue.
The only request/idea is to see more Welkin and Alicia with other people, whether that be with them being together and swingers or just with other people idc. I just find it titilating to have the main canon girl be promiscuous tbh.
Chap9, good stuff, looking forward to more
Glad to see you're still working on it. Enjoying it very much.
Enjoying the Freesia subplot, and also very much looking forward to Juno's moment in the limelight. Kloden seems like a good opportunity for some nice scenes, since trekking slowly through the wilderness is much different from anything seen so far and will give ertain characters a chance to shine.
Also while I can't criticize the guy wanting Damon to do...something to Selvaria, it's a very popular scene in doujin of this series, I can't help but pitch in my vote otherwise. Sorry, dude, but not my cup of tea. Actually agree with the guy who says a final Selvaria/Welkin pairing would be good. I doubt it will happen, but still can't deny I'd like Selvaria to keep some dignity despite arguably being THE sex symbol of Valkyria Chronicles. I could understand Maximilian, that assistant, Carl I think?, or even Jaeger. However Damon...and horses, aren't quite my cup of tea. Obviously your choice as the author, but I said my piece.
Hope Marina gets the scene I mentioned in my past review, or at least a memorable development. I could also see Welkin managing to rope Edy into some sexual play for punishing Rosie. A 'If I punish Rosie by having sex with her you'll reward me with sex' agreement would probaby please all three if he spun it right. My long shot hope is for an appearane by Audrey Gessenarl as Squad 7 will be going to the south where her father is in charge. Regardless, know you'll do great. Good luck.
Varot was very sexy, I hope she gets her wish and Welkin gets over his aversion to unloading in girls. I also hope he and Isara hook up.
Selveria. I'd like to see her taken by Daimon's horse (something about a witch not being fit for human men, etc.) or failing that by Daimon himself. Looking forward to more chaps.
Hah, good to see I've added to your vocabulary I guess? I'll just hope for the Sylvie stuff and read on.
As for critiques, aside from grammatical errors and the like that could probably be nixxed with a quick re-read before posting, you've a tendancy to write run-on sentences that should be cleaned up. It helps a lot for a stories flow if each sentence flows smoothly too.
Keep plugging away at that plat trophy. I got it recently too, in fact, I stumbled on this story after getting it and looking for VC fics :p
Good to see chap 7, though I agree was far too little hentai. Looking forward to more, Varrot needs to get her some Welkin. And when Damon captures Selvaria, he needs to introduce her to his horse.
super hot.
My only issue is with Alicia. You keep trying to emphasise that her relationship with Faldio isn't 'romantic' - as if that's only allowed with Welkin or something - which is fine in and of itself, but that doesn't mean she can't enjoy it when she's fucking around.
Sex is great, and the characters you've written seem to love having it too. There's a lot of dubcon elements though that kind of keep the story a litte too dark and sap the joyous aspect from it all.
Still want Welking and Selvaria to end up together in the end :p
Awesome that we're getting some quality VC smut - a rarity, if not an endangered species.
As for the story, I like how everyone is a lot sluttier, and act out on that. I think I'd prefer it if Alicia was a little less crushing on Welkin at this stage. Maybe she thinks he's hot and would be a nice catch, but I think I'd rather her thinking about Faldio while she's fucking him than Welkin, seems like a downer the way it is.
'Faldio is super sexy and he's been chatting me up all week, so why the fuck not?!' etc etc
Just making the characters super promiscuous is an awesome angle, but I'd advise againts making EVERYONE like that going forward. It feels a lot less titilating if everyone is slutty, you need the normies and the prudes to have a basis for comparison.
Also, leave off dick sizes. Everyone's 'huge' apparently and, unless you're going to make certain characters size queens, it all becomes redundant anyway.
Finally, I wouldn't be totally against going AU and making this Welkin/Selvaria :3 Maybe he somehow finds that it's Maxxy that had her experimented on in the first place to get her to flip, I dunno.