rate_review Reviews

YOUR PASSION!

IT'S A FUCKING COMEDY!!!!

CHILL!!

ALL YOU SPAZ MASTERS!!!

LOL!!!!

HONESTLY!

Hey BoobsWriter, will you be continuing the story. Great writing so far!

 

YOU HEARD ME...

DO IT ENGLAND!

... er, I. was refering to emasculating A, Z. After Lara is ordered by Al to service the guy who orders it; the 2 are gagged and clipped as Lara watches the whole thing as she rides, or sucks the guy off.

wooops.

LOL chapter 4 is so hilarious. The dialog is pure gold.

I really hope a new chapter's coming, this is amazing! I really love the way you describe their bodies.

I gotta admit, I was also looking forward to her induction (I don't think she was really "trained" per se) However, seeing the direction you're taking it now, I realize how out of place it'd be. It wouldn't advance the plot whatsoever. Yes, I can see why some were excited for that (you naughty little tease) but there are A MILLION stories about a hot, strong woman becoming enslaved via mind control or black mail or brute force, and 99% of them show her being trained and broken. IT GETS OLD. Besides, I find it kinda erotic to just wonder about it was like. As for the character development argument? Thankfully these guys seem to get a kick out of her fighting back. Her personality doesn't seem different from chapter 1 to now, so I'd say we don't need that scene for character development. Oh and I agree that Zip needs some punishment. Even if its (a lot) more orgasm denial. He's been very bad and deserves a little sensual torment. Thank you for reading my novel! MKSlave

I never said the sex scene had to be long, or that it couldn't advance the plot. That was a major part of Lara's character development that got left out, which I assume is one of the big reasons people read TR stories. But then again, I probably honestly would not have noticed if the first few chapters hadn't been such an obvious set-up for a scene that never happened.

Very sweet! Never having played DOA I am not that familiar with the other female characters and enjoy the Lara parts the most. The Zip blowjob scene was greatly written, but the fight for me was infinitely sweeter. Lara kicking ass and getting her ass kicked like that really was something... Zip's comeuppance is something I will look forward to while the Lara parts are of course what I am going to enjoy most. Great stuff, hope to read more soon!

KARMAS A BITCH! Lara's just gonna get what she's had delt to her for the last week. Zip... is gonna get fucked. Shame Al's last command was to comply. WELL DONE!