Zip must really need to get his rocks off if he's including Alister in his sexual fantasies. Either way that was a nice if a little cliche transition into the present day situation, which honestly was almost entirely forgotten about given how detailed the last few chapters have been. If it wasn't obvious by now, this story's built on a foundation of pure cocktease and I don't doubt there's more of that to come with Zip's interrogation. Looking forward to seeing the tangle Lara's got herself caught up in too. Till next time.
Definitely disagree with the story "going nowhere". I really enjoyed this chapter. Kind of predicted the denied happy ending because that's what you seem to do lately. Got to admit though that I am left a little confused now. Did the "Origin chapters" really happen? If they did, how did Zip still have blue balls after basically getting full control of Lara? But if it is just a fantasy it seems odd for Alistair to get a prominent role in Lara's wet dream. Seemed a little like a spontaneous decision to tie story strings together like this.
Anyway, apart from that, I gotta applaud you. Despite Zip being unable to cum the story/action-ratio looks a lot better here. The oral action was very well-written as usual, the mental imagery it provoked was immensely pleasant. I am definitely going to read it again.
Sex scenes are overrated and they are everywhere. What do you have in 99% of smut stories out there? Lots of sex and very little teasing. To the point where you don't care about the sex because there's nothing leading up to it.
Well in this story you have the opposite. Lots of teasing and very little sex. I find that quite refreshing honestly and to me personally it is more than satisfactory. I actually prefer teasing scenes, seduction scenes, and blowjob scenes to the typical sex scene. I find the former compelling and the latter dull.
Evidently many people absolutely enjoy your writing style and the actual content of your story, so I hope you don't change it for the few moaners out there who just want some wham bam thank you ma'am. As if they can't find that literally everywhere else.
Loved the new chapter! Her teasing is so hot, and the way she's basically torturing Zip is amazing. I also loved the part about her secretly wanting him to snap and just take her.
Can't wait for the next one!
theres just too much teasing. the story isnt going anywhere. its going backward. sorry. you write awesome but i think i'm done after this chapter. i'll give future stories you write a chance tho
I started off liking this story and your writing is leagues above a lot of the writers I've come across in this community; but I'm officially tapping out on this story. Some teasing is fine -- but now it's just gotten to the point where you're just building and building and building only for it to never pay off in a satisfying way.
And now there's prequel chapters as well? Gee. Because I totally didn't get the concept of Lara being a tease. I needed that spelled out further for me in a completely repetetive manner. /s
Like I said -- I like your actual writing; but I'd recommend making yourself an outline before writing chapters. One big tip for writing is to pick three things you want to make happen in your chapter and then focus on executing those milestones.
But, as I mentioned, I'm officially done. I just find this story exhausting at this point. :( Sorry.
~ Countess. xoxo.
What "countess" writes sounds quite harsh, however, sadly I can't say I disagree with the gist of what she said... I enjoy your writing, I enjoy it a fucking lot actually, and I check this site just for updates on this and "TR: Origins", however we are at chapter 10 of this story now and the "action ratio" is incredibly low. Having Lara be a tease for a chapter or two is nice, but no reason for YOU to be as much of a tease as she is.
Taken by themselves I enjoyed every chapter a lot because they are, no way around it, magnificently written IMO, but I am starting to loose hope that there will be a pay-off here, which in the end is the whole point of the site. You skipped the "break-in", which would have probably been one of the most interesting scenes of the story (Lara realizing she is literally fucked), then you write to the point where she is about to get fucked again before you skip to a time before chapter one, dodging the smutty fun.
In the end you write for yourself and if this is the way you want to do it there will probably be plenty of people who are going to love it, but I would really need a sex scene or two here soon... I will probably read anything you publish no matter what, I am too impressed by your writing style, but as it is this story is slipping a bit regarding its popularity with me...
EDIT: Just read your reply in the forum to "countess'" post. My review seems a bit redundant now, sorry
agree with the cuntness laras cucks are not the only guys with ball blues
still like the chapter
Oh my god this last chapter is amazing. Exactly what I was hoping for. This is the reason I read your stories! Lara is perfect material for seduction scenes and some heavy duty blue balling!
Your descriptions are delicious and I could read a whole book consisting of nothing but what you've got going on in the last two chapters, especially this latest one. As I was reading the last paragraph I was thinking to myself how disappointing it is that it's just one outfit and it's over with 'and then she tried on a million thongs the end.' I was like, 'Show me goddamn it, don't tell me. Describe every last fucking thong Lara owns!' Maybe that would be redundant/boring to other readers, but I can read that shit for hours and I wouldn't get tired of it.
So, to sum up, I was in love with the whole chapter and everything in it, but felt it was a shame it ended so quickly.
Dat post script note tho!
Reading that was almost as good as reading the chapter itself, since it basically fixes the only problem I had with it and promises much more awesomeness to come!
Looking forward to it!!
[10] Love the missing chapters. That scene with Zip and the coffee cup and the facial cream is exactly what I'm talking about when I say that the guys should try to beat Lara at her own game. They really should make things even harder for Lara to tease and be unnafected. You could explore Lara slipping a little here and there and the story would be all the hotter for it. Wishful thinking, I know but one can dream.
The funny thing is that I like these missing parts more than where the story left off. I know my opinion is not on the popular side, but I really do think that your strenght lies on coming up with these crazy hot tease scenarios. It really sets you apart from other authors so I really don't mind seeing more chapters like the last 2, at least in themes.
Keep up the great work and I can't wait for next chapter.