Hey, dont know if your gonna see this, but I read the story so far, really good. I want to see more, but it looks like it hasn't been updated in a while. If you can, please continue this story. It has amazing potential.
So when will there be new updates?
I see that you mentioned that you where working on it but nothing new for some time now... Hope your personal issues where revolved with positive outcome.
Well the last chapter looks interesting with stuff set in motion. Will be nice to see how the group will work as a team. Maybe see more character development in the process. I'm still hopping to see some of the first side characters that you use later in the story with maybe some new stuff to do or get employed by saints but out well. :)
Hope any problem you have will be resolved as soon as possible. Good luck.
I originally didn't post anything on last chapter since you mention you would be posting more soon so I thought to wait a bit longer.
story looks like it will be interesting to keep reading but unfortunately it looks like the author abandoned it. Shame really to see it left like this. Think about continuing this one.
Wow cool story bro. The way how you made them to form the gang is wicked.
will we also see some other low level member tug's? Also what happened to that girl that Alisa dragged out that time to teach her a lesson. Poor girl hope she is OK considering that Alisa given what see so far has a bit sadistic tendencies. Talk about rough side i would not be Surprised if she build her own little play room. When is the next update bro?
Looks cool. That new chick looks a bit overconfident in herself with Alisa. Will be fun to see her how will she handle things when Alisa starts to be serious. Seeing more of story developed is awesome. Good to see its not all just fuck. Add more character development if can. BTW I like idea the previous guy suggested sounds like wickedly fun situation to add up older girls back in the story and give character deeper development
OK chapter 7 was nice. We seen more of the new members and see Alisa showing to them she is serious. You could maybe added some leadership "trials" for her but its OK.
Shaundi as a character is ok. The part that Alisa call her crazy... well I would not really say its true. She is like more confident in herself that she can handle anything Alisa can ditch at her. But she is definitively not crazy as Alisa at this point and I just hope she will not try to panic to much when Alisa cut herself lost to... Shall we say... Test drive her new possible plaything/"advisor". I think she same as the girl that "recommended' her might have "bite more then she can handle" but I'm sure she will try.
On the subject who should be able to handle Alisa, I still think it should be that samedi girl. Unlike any other girl so far, she stayed conscious and she did not crumble... Ironically it was more in the line of pure fear for her life then fear what would happen if she STAY alive. That's makes her interesting, sure Alisa did "damage the goods" (her teeth and similar) but I think you could make some nice interactions.
Its clear with Shaundi actions that are so far bold that she wants to get on "top" of the "food chain" but basing on what we seen so far her "plan" might not go so well given Alisa "appetite". It would be interesting if got to the point that "lowly pet" ends up as her obstacle to top. The interaction between would be interesting because it would be clash of different motivations and purpose. For Shaundi it would be annoying little pest that holding her of to get to power.
But for samedi girl it would be much more terrified point of view of all or nothing game. She already have seen first hand how Alisa can be a crazy monster. But she is also one thing that can keep her alive by been "useful". The Shaundi by her actions alone would in core of things be cutting her only " life saving rope" the only current thing that might keeping her alive. It would give some nice interactions but it also give layer of real feel to it. Not all is unified like in real life there are always some inner struggle in the "ranks".
You could even used what i mention before for samedi girl. Maybe even had Alisa fix her damage she got from Alisa first encounter. That would really put Shaundi in motions to " surpassing that nuisances " anyway she can adding more interesting things happening in the course of the st story.
Shaundi's and that samedi girl motives would in core be the same, get better spot in "food chain" of Alisa organisation but they would be fundamentally different. While one want just better standing and power. Other one would fight for her very survival, her on right simple right to live.
I know it probably sounds silly or eve a bit dark but it would give some powerful moments and feel to the story. Especially later on if Alisa figures what is happening between two and decides to make her own fun with them. In time you could make sademi girl be free adding more water to the oil to the conflict.
All in all chapter is nice. We seen some nice things hope we will see some of the older characters also how are they doing after encounter with Alisa and what they think about her gang.
Best wishes and good writing from ZeoUnit
Ok this one is cool. When do we get more of it??!?
You didnt quit did you o.0 ??
Cool story bro. Nice how you keep bringing old characters back in the story with new background.
Dont forget to update soon, story and action so far is great. Dont quit, to many writers in here just drop the stories and never finish them.
Heg good one. Pretty awesome so far. Good Idea to give us info that shows other characters that we meet. I always did wonder what happen with that gang girl that alisa fuck senseless in to submission And just drag her out. Will you be also at some point also show or bring back that clerk from the first chapter that was a side character? Would be cool to see her again since Alisa did comment about clerk with "Ooooh, I think somebody is enjoying being my little bitch." Base of her actions so far you would think she would go back to get what she claimed. Here is a idea if they make some type of job selling stuff Alisa could go all like "I know perfect person for the job" and go to clerk to "buy" new stuff and give her a nice offer she cant refuse. Just a suggestion. So far you did one darn good job with the story man and i see you keep adding more character like that new girl mention. Do you plan to add her to Alisa rooster? Or is something else