rate_review Reviews

I really enjoyed this story from start to finish, without knowing much about Mortal Kombat, its characters, setting etc. I still felt a closeness to the major characters and I learned to understand the world and how the different realms that were included interconnected.

The characterisation was brilliantly written and well considered. It all felt believable and real. And best of all the slow build of the relationship between Sindel and Jerrod, their complications and how they slowly found each other again was superbly well thought out and culminated in a lust climactic scene that I felt made a great pay off.

I also really liked the use of the multiple warrior souls housed within Jerrod and how they influenced him, sustained him etc.

Having had little knowledge of Mortal Kombat characters beforehand you immediately made Sindel my favourite with your characterisation and I went away after the story ended to look up how she looked in the games and how the character was portrayed etc.

 

I'm really trying to think of something constructive to suggest to improve things, but other than the usual minor and infrequent spelling and grammar mistakes that slip through with everyone who writes, myself included, I honestly couldn't think of anything.

 

Thank you for sharing your talent.

Nickamano.

Cool story man. Can't wait to see how Will things go between king and queen if Tanya comebacks and trys to get some influence on the king.
The Mileena seems to be digging her own hole by pissing off king like that. Your old army has new leader that manage to unite them and right now you are the threat to his rule. There is a good chance that he wants you very much dead. It would be logical step in his new rule. Eliminate old leader that can split leadership. No way in hell he would take chance to risk with her to betray him.
I think once that fact sink in her pretty little head it might be a bit late with all mocking of him and suggested stuff to the king, pissing off his alter egos. She might just end up as she suggested as a fuck pet or at best his property in exchange for "protection" to stay alive. Her only hope would be at this point to get in her sister kitanas good side so she might earn her place in the family.
Would be cool if you would add Skarlet in to the story man. Since she is a construct you could like find her and give her to king as trophy or better to Kitana or Jade as a gift.
Sindel is in many ways ironic to lash on the king when she herself is cheating the king. The way they got back as a pair was to easy. She was the first to cheat him. I don't see her have guts to argue to him for having a "pet" at his side after her little affair.
Better not see this one get abandoned, the story looks like it could be interesting.

Pretty sweet writing here. I like how the characters and settings are done. Cool to see there are nice small plots all over the place with Jade, Mileena and Tanya. I like how you just give plot start for Tanya and kept it as a trump card to drop to mix things up later on. Sindel is nicely played. I like the struggle between them, maybe you rush in a bit to fast on them getting on a good side with each other but it still fits for now.
Now Mileena is whole new beast in this story. The struggle you made in Kings mind was superb. She is his daughter technically since she was created with her sisters blood. But she is not from point of other souls so conflict is very on the high note in here. Mileena's constant defiance and temptress approach to try to irritate the kings might not end on high not for her. Her logic is base on idea that the king is alone... His not... So far we seen that there are some very powerful "people" in there that might not be so... shall we say... forgiving of her bland offence and attempt on "their life". Not to mention that some of them might actually take her taunting and make it reality, they sure don't lack the power to do it, in authority or ability's mind you. Mileena should pick her words more carefully in the future.
Jade feelings are ok. For most part I more seen her as possible anchor for the king emotional struggle with the queen that seemed not to care about his desperate attempts to get amends with her and goes to other man no matter how much he trying and turns blind eye to her cheating. I thought you would go with the path that in time she will fell in love because she see how he is breaking himself apart in those attempt between his wife and trying to peace together his shattered kingdom for his people but no one seems to see that other apparently her. It would give a lot more on the character growth and give solid background for future plot twist and possible rivalry once when/if Sindel change her mind or once Tanya decide to reveal herself on the stage, maybe even with the child she is on the way to give birth. Now that would be a bomb shell of a twist.
Kitana so far looks fine, the idea her wanting to set situations so her parents can get close again is very good but again execution was rushed a bit in my opinion. It would have been more interesting that the King Jade didn't know about it. It would give nice spot for Kitana and Jade to grow as a character with Jade have opportunity to see Kings repeated attempts and flat out rejection from Sindel and that would give nice base start why she wants to get close to him. Not just physical but on emotional level since she can see how his sacrifice for his kingdom are not appreciated.
Kitana would start to notice some patterns in parents behavior and would start to suspect, or maybe even try to find out, confront father about it or maybe even mother about it.

Really hope you will update your story soon. A lot of good ways and possible path to go with.
Story itself don't look something that should be short so I really hope you will keep improving it in time.

Lovely chapter. Things are getting heating up. I wonder how will Jerrod deal with all this pressure.
Then again he does have willing or unwilling help from otherselves would he like it or not he he.
Some of the girls should really watch out what buttons they press with him.

Juicy story. I trilled with some speculation on how our favorite Mileena could get her cute ass in some serious problem because she could not keep her mouth shut and just accept that generous offer. On side note when will we see that fine taned ass of Tanya back. Im just dying to see how would she play her trump card. Hopefully play smarter then Mileena's first chance. Update as soon as possible man.

Fucking good story. Really want to see what each of the characters fate will be in this one. I think you rush in to fast with Sindel and Ermac to get on good terms but rest was freaking good to the core. You better not stop updating the story.

Girl you are sooo asking to get broken down to the size of a submissive kitty.
On side note can't wait to see how will thing develop with Sindel when Tanya finally make a move with her tramp card she made by doing a small favor for your favorite king but that could backfire at you so carefull!!!

Good plot and nice action so far. I think I will keep a eye on this one, looks promising. There are some interesting suggestion in what role's the current characters in the story might end up as but also some that might change all the roles in the future. With bit of luck and constant update this could be very interesting story. Maybe even best one with story plot in mk section.

Man I would love to see Skarlet put in the show because she would fit in current realm because what she is. . So far I like what you did with this story how the realm is rebuild and it problems. Looks like that Jerrods multi personalities will work together to fix broken kingdom by any means necessary and stay on power. I wonder how things would go with that traitor backstabbing Tanya once/if she is brought to serve her sentence when/if captured. By the looks of it it will be bad exp for herif Jade has anything to say about it. Keep the updates flowing.

By the way, current count of female kombatants in the story:
•Sindel
•Tanya
•Kitana
•Mileena
•Jade
•Sheeva

Female kombatants from the MK9 and MKX timeline left:
•Cassie Cage(might be a little young by this time)
•D'Vorah
•Frost
•Ferra
•Jacqui
•Li Mei
•Sareena
•Skarlet
•Sonya
•Tasia