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June 15, 2015 at 12:00 AM
So now Moxxi is stepping up to the plate huh? I'm surprised the bandit's definition of "giving himself a fighting chance" was to go out guns blazing. If he was smart, he could have used Gauge as bait and hidden in the spot behind the door when it opens. Ah well, what's done is done. Looking forward to what Moxxi has in mind.
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March 15, 2015 at 12:00 AM
Very good so far. Love the style and the teasing with a bit of violence to really get you interested. Overall loved it so far! Keep up the awesome work!
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March 11, 2015 at 12:00 AM
Pretty good so far. However, it needs to be more descriptive in what the characters are doing.
As an example; when she doesn't 'hesitate and starts to finger herself', perhaps string it out longer and say she pushes her finger deep into herself, sliding easily into the wetness. Stuff like that ^_^
Nothing wrong with giving people the straight facts though.
As an example; when she doesn't 'hesitate and starts to finger herself', perhaps string it out longer and say she pushes her finger deep into herself, sliding easily into the wetness. Stuff like that ^_^
Nothing wrong with giving people the straight facts though.