rate_review Reviews

Wow, it was a very long read, worth every minute. This story was terrific, although i have to admit at some points became hard to read, I was cheering for Miranda and when she started to lose it towards the end the story became very sad to me. The sex kinda was a little too much, but it gave a good dynamic to the story that it's not a fairy tale, these are pirates and they will be scumbags. I read this after reading your other story Played(terrific read recomend it to everyone) and the love story between Ash and Miranda really set the background for this story. I was hooked early on and read for at least 4 hours straight, and being a big fan of the Mass Effect series i was impressed by how you incorporated most of the characters in the story. The ending was great too, i would have liked to read about Ash and Miranda slowly piecing together there old relationship, but i understand every story must end at some point. Like i said before it was sad to slowly watch as Miranda will slowly broke into nothing and it was sick how Shepard resorted to drugs to get her the way he wanted, but it was great to see how everything played out. I was almost in tears when Miranda was so cautious in Ashley's presence, it was very sad but the ending was a happy one. Big fan, keep it up, and i look forward to reading your next story.

So it's officially finished, huh? Well, congrats, it is awesome! For what it's worth, your story is one of the few fanfics that actually left a lasting impression on me. It is leagues above anything else I have read in this genre. I guess it's time to write down the things I disliked? Just my honest thoughts:

The second half of the epilogue. It's actually pretty good, but I don't think it's a very good ending for this story. Like you said, Miranda was the real star of this story, even when she wasn't present in a scene. Yet, the final part is completely Ashley focused and the tone is a bit too cold and formal, especially compared to the first half of the epilogue. While Miranda is there, she mostly just passively observes the situation. This ending gives me the impression that Ashley finally becoming a Spectre is the biggest moment of the story, considering the really long build-up to that point in the epilogue as well.

Jacob's death. I'm pretty sure it is one of the most anticlimactic deaths in fanfiction history. I mean, everything that happened to Miranda was basically his fault. If it wasn't for his betrayal, she would have captured/killed Shepard, right? Yet, he just dies, without even realising why he had to die and he never gets mentioned again.

The sudden change of pace from chapters 9, 10, 11 to 12 was a bit distracting. After many chapters of slow Miranda abuse, it was strange that the story suddenly turned into a fast-paced action flick. A more natural transition would have been nice. Also, the very end of chapter 11 bothers me. It feels like it sets up an event where Shepard needs a non-drugged Miranda for some "business" (which is definitely not just a meeting with Santiago), but the story just jumps to the rescue part instead.

I won't complain about chapter 9,10 or 11, though these were the lowest points in the story for me, but at least they were well executed and somewhat interesting.

Oh, and I would have loved if Kaidan had more scenes. He was frightening, but really miserable as well. He and Leng were indeed much better than their game counterparts. Liara too, I guess, but basically anything is better than normal Liara.

That's it. Now I'm going to write down my three favorite scenes just for fun. Chapter 6, ceremony scene. You know, I just realised how short it is, but it's very well done. Miranda was very adorable and it was such a sharp contrast to her grim situation. Smart. After this scene I really wanted her to get away from Shep asap, and it was kind if shitty to witness all the crap you thrown at her. Especially that mindless slave stuff.
Like I said a few days ago, the reunion scene in chapter 12 was very nice, though I hoped that it would be surpassed in the epilogue. But the whole rescue mission was great.
Without a doubt the peak of the story for me is the whole of chapter 8. The best.

I think this is long enough, I hope everything above makes sense, it's kinda late here.

Finally, something completely unrelated. While I was browsing that kink meme site I decided to make a prompt there sometime. If you have time, take a look around there in the near future.

Awesome story! Rare and great pairing, not much fluff and sexy times in the happy end but anyway... Great work.

Really, really great chapter! Fun action, great character interactions, I think my favorites are the ones with Ashley and Miranda in her arms. Those scenes were very beautiful and heartwarming :) It's also great that Miranda contributed to the fall of Shepard in her own way.
Honestly, I need some time to rethink the whole story so I will write a more meaty "review" when you post the epilogue.
And I agree with anon, you should definietly post this there too! This is a really special story, often disturbing and maybe downright evil, but I'm glad I read it and more people should get the chance to do so.

Amazing

you should totally post this fic on fanfic.net it is such an amazing story and i cant wait to see if you continue with a jack pirate queen version.

The Pirate Crew of the Normany is a bunch of scumbags. Anyway, I'm really curious how this will finally end. Based on your notes I'm hopeful that I won't feel like shit for reading the whole thing.

Well, I like that the crew was affected by what happened to Miranda, even Kaidan. I'm also glad that Liara died, now I think her last scene with Shepard is pretty much perfect. Love scene was great as always, you are really good at this, but given the circumstances it was much more disturbing than... hot.

You actually killed Liara? I'm out.

You know, if your goal with this story was to completely degrade her in the most horrible ways possible then you did an excellent job. I refuse to believe that this can get any worse.
I just really hope there is a good reason for this. There must be.