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July 13, 2018 at 12:00 AM
I enjoyed chap 7 though it took forever to get to the sex at the end, which was well written. I feel the plot has taken over too much of this fic, although it is mostly well written. I hope it works out between Booker and Elizabeth, the end of the game was a real downer for me.
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May 22, 2014 at 12:00 AM
HORY SHET this was a badass chapter! You REALLY hit it with the Boyd/Booker fight! Shame there were so many senseless deaths though......WHY, oh poor Bianchi mobster! One minute he's in seventh heaven....And the next....HE gets penetrated....Hard....In the face....No homo....
As for bthe end of burial at sea....WHY did she have to die TWICE. I spent twenty minutes staring at her the FIRST time....Now I can't get La Vie En Rose out of my head....Or her face....And then the studio shut down and....And....MY EMOTIONS.... ;-;
As for bthe end of burial at sea....WHY did she have to die TWICE. I spent twenty minutes staring at her the FIRST time....Now I can't get La Vie En Rose out of my head....Or her face....And then the studio shut down and....And....MY EMOTIONS.... ;-;
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April 3, 2014 at 12:00 AM
Hello again!
I have to congratulate you for your courage in giving us a chapter without sex. This is a risk you took and I think the result is cool.
Elizabeth is turning very dark and the torture is very strange, I'm not sure if I like it. But good job on the actions scene, it was pretty good.
Can't wait for the next chapters!!
Carry on, carry on...
(as if nothing really matters) :p
I have to congratulate you for your courage in giving us a chapter without sex. This is a risk you took and I think the result is cool.
Elizabeth is turning very dark and the torture is very strange, I'm not sure if I like it. But good job on the actions scene, it was pretty good.
Can't wait for the next chapters!!
Carry on, carry on...
(as if nothing really matters) :p
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February 23, 2014 at 12:00 AM
Yes, have a 5 star vote! I sat and read every chapter today, and I have to say I'm hooked. It's been a long time since I liked a story as much as yours. As Bioshock has infinite paths pretty much any annoyance or slight inconsistency can easily be ignored, not that I have actually noticed any that mattered. I eagerly await your next update! I really enjoy the characters you have created, for the most part. Booker is pretty spot on, and so is Elizabeth, and the OCs all compliment each other well. Carry on!
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February 19, 2014 at 12:00 AM
Very interesting story. Came here for the sex and stayed for.the plot. I wish yoh could keep the motivation to continue this serie! Elizabeth dark side is interesting but I must confess my preference to the fragile loving little sparrow she is around booker.
Good job.
Good job.
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December 23, 2013 at 12:00 AM
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BronxWench,
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December 18, 2013 at 12:00 AM
I'd tell you to drop the sex scenes (to be honest, they don't do much for me) and get it published on FF.net instead for a wider audience, but I'm not sure how well the incest part would go and while it's easy to ignore, it's kinda hard to write around given the nature of the characters. It's an interesting story, better than half the crap you'll usually find there anyway, so it's a shame to limit the audience to this fairly small site.
I can't bring myself to actually like the characters though, they all seem so infuriatingly stupid to me. I've been wanting Reed in particular dead since he entered the story. I guess that was the point, and I'd take it as a compliment that you managed to annoy me that much with him. The other characters seem to rehash the same things over and over, which makes the story seem like it's a lot slower than it is. Elizabeth is the only one that stands out as something likable, and even she is starting to go a bit too far and is taking the long and complicated road getting there.
Despite that, it's growing on me. It's very noir, which is something you don't see a lot of these days with sparkling vampires in high school and whatnot. I just wish the pace was a bit higher, because like I said, it often feels like much of the story is just a reworded version of previous chapters (in particular Booker being depressed over money, describing how Elizabeth and Anna is the only good thing he got despite that he doesn't deserve it, rinse and repeat).
Oh, and by the way, Booker would actually be fairly close in age to Elizabeth at this point. He was born 1874, with the game taking place in 1912, which would make him ~38 at that point. Elizabeth is then ~19 (born 1893). At the point Anna was taken away, she was supposedly less than a year old, which would make Booker 19 or 20 at that point (definitely no more than 21 at any rate), which is when the story takes place.
I can't bring myself to actually like the characters though, they all seem so infuriatingly stupid to me. I've been wanting Reed in particular dead since he entered the story. I guess that was the point, and I'd take it as a compliment that you managed to annoy me that much with him. The other characters seem to rehash the same things over and over, which makes the story seem like it's a lot slower than it is. Elizabeth is the only one that stands out as something likable, and even she is starting to go a bit too far and is taking the long and complicated road getting there.
Despite that, it's growing on me. It's very noir, which is something you don't see a lot of these days with sparkling vampires in high school and whatnot. I just wish the pace was a bit higher, because like I said, it often feels like much of the story is just a reworded version of previous chapters (in particular Booker being depressed over money, describing how Elizabeth and Anna is the only good thing he got despite that he doesn't deserve it, rinse and repeat).
Oh, and by the way, Booker would actually be fairly close in age to Elizabeth at this point. He was born 1874, with the game taking place in 1912, which would make him ~38 at that point. Elizabeth is then ~19 (born 1893). At the point Anna was taken away, she was supposedly less than a year old, which would make Booker 19 or 20 at that point (definitely no more than 21 at any rate), which is when the story takes place.
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November 3, 2013 at 12:00 AM
Damm, She is Turing dark! That does not suprize me at all though. when she got that hole in her back they had her for a few months right? Keep up the good work!
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October 15, 2013 at 12:00 AM
Damm! I love that scene with Ernest. That storm at the end was very cool.
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September 30, 2013 at 12:00 AM
This is a good chapter! I have no idea where you are going with this story and I love it! Because this site is called adultfanfiction, sexless chapters are always going to be less popular. Plus your sex scenes are so good, you gotta keep them coming!