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September 13, 2013 at 12:00 AM
Conspirasy and sex. Good combination. Loving this Shepard you've written.
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September 12, 2013 at 12:00 AM
It seems like EDI, Miranda, or somebody else on the Normandy should notice what Jack is doing.
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September 10, 2013 at 12:00 AM
I really want this Shepherd to encounter Liara again.
Although its possible T'Soni could be repulsed by Shepherd's new 'addition.'
Although its possible T'Soni could be repulsed by Shepherd's new 'addition.'
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September 6, 2013 at 12:00 AM
Jack's kind of a monster.
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July 31, 2013 at 12:00 AM
I keep wondering how Liara will react to the NEW AND IMPROVED Commander Shepherd.
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July 5, 2013 at 12:00 AM
Read Chapter one and I liked it. It was short--a bit short for my tastes, but still it did a good job. Would love to see the Kelly and Shepard sex stretched out over a little longer period, maybe with a few more positions and working up to a climax. I know its a sci-fi fantasy story, but it feels implausable to have Shepard gushing cum within a few minutes. As a fellow writer, I reccomend stretching it out, working up towards a single climax per chapter, but that's just me.
Now, Shepard as a fute I can totally see and it's something I've been planning in my own story for a while. Glad to see it pop up here. I liked the inclusion. Good work. Solid effort overall and I hope to read more.
Now, Shepard as a fute I can totally see and it's something I've been planning in my own story for a while. Glad to see it pop up here. I liked the inclusion. Good work. Solid effort overall and I hope to read more.
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July 5, 2013 at 12:00 AM
Chapter Two was better than the first. Granted, the story feels like it has a very abrupt start--like it should have had a prologue chapter to show Shepard getting where she is when her new cock shows up, but anyway. Loved the sex with Miri. She's second on my list of Mass Effect characters who need to be shoved down and have something rammed in their ass (First is Diana Allers). The story flowed a little better and the detail was nice. Again, solid work and I'm looking forward to Chapter 3
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July 4, 2013 at 12:00 AM
The writing is fine. I was looking forward to the Miranda/Shepard confrontation. But I was a little disappointed with the direction you chose. Miranda in charge would have suited my tastes more. It could have been awesome. Oh well. Maybe chapter 3 will be good?
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July 3, 2013 at 12:00 AM
Well, Miranda Lawson will never trust THIS Shepherd with her sister's safety.
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July 3, 2013 at 12:00 AM
In real life, after an incident like this, Shepherd would probably fall victim to 'friendly fire' the next time she went into combat with Miranda.