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September 2, 2015 at 12:00 AM
I love your fanfic! It's been awhile since I've come across a good one and then poof! Found this site and your story. I have to say I'm guilty of reading it over and over again.
If ever you go back to it to re-edit there are some things I'd like to point out. In chapter 5 it sort of gets confusing because Zelda says that she doesn't want to go to Ganondorf as a pristine maiden and later on in the sex scene when Link enters her you have her thinking its been far too long since she'd done this. Also in chapter 8 when Ganondorf has his way with Zelda you have him enjoying the combined pain of both Zelda and Link, and again in chapter 11 you have Ganondorf thinking how he likes it when Zelda struggles. You portrait him as sadistic with a twisted mind but then in chapter 13 I find the interactions between characters change too quickly and that Zelda and Link are too accepting that they seem out of character. I think there should be a chapter between 12 and 13 to help with the transition where something could happen involving Ganondorf and Zelda to make her come to terms with the situation for the sake of the kingdom and at the same time whatever event you choose would also make her realize that perhaps if it hadn't been for Ganondorf using Zant and hence the story of "Twilight Princess" they could have gotten along. Your chapter 13 could be Link's chapter of coming to terms and just going with the flow for Zelda's sake. After all he seems like someone who can adapt quickly to his surroundings or else he wouldn't have survived through all these temples lol Other than that there is a few typos here and there, and the ending seems a bit rushed. I hope you decide to write a sequel. It would be interesting to find out how the guys handle the news if Zelda were to announce that they'll be fathers soon.
If ever you go back to it to re-edit there are some things I'd like to point out. In chapter 5 it sort of gets confusing because Zelda says that she doesn't want to go to Ganondorf as a pristine maiden and later on in the sex scene when Link enters her you have her thinking its been far too long since she'd done this. Also in chapter 8 when Ganondorf has his way with Zelda you have him enjoying the combined pain of both Zelda and Link, and again in chapter 11 you have Ganondorf thinking how he likes it when Zelda struggles. You portrait him as sadistic with a twisted mind but then in chapter 13 I find the interactions between characters change too quickly and that Zelda and Link are too accepting that they seem out of character. I think there should be a chapter between 12 and 13 to help with the transition where something could happen involving Ganondorf and Zelda to make her come to terms with the situation for the sake of the kingdom and at the same time whatever event you choose would also make her realize that perhaps if it hadn't been for Ganondorf using Zant and hence the story of "Twilight Princess" they could have gotten along. Your chapter 13 could be Link's chapter of coming to terms and just going with the flow for Zelda's sake. After all he seems like someone who can adapt quickly to his surroundings or else he wouldn't have survived through all these temples lol Other than that there is a few typos here and there, and the ending seems a bit rushed. I hope you decide to write a sequel. It would be interesting to find out how the guys handle the news if Zelda were to announce that they'll be fathers soon.
schedule
March 28, 2015 at 12:00 AM
I found your story a few days ago, and many times I've forgotten to review it.
Well, let me say that this has been a quite enjoyable story to read so far. The way the characters, as well as their interactions with each other have evolved as the story progressed has been very well carried. I have to say, Endgame is one of those stories that, once you start reading it and let that small spark of interest get to you, you'll want to know how it will end.
I hope you continue it one day, as it would be a shame to leave this story unconcluded, and I know many would agree with me on that statement.
Thanks for your work and dedication, RyuaAlba.
Well, let me say that this has been a quite enjoyable story to read so far. The way the characters, as well as their interactions with each other have evolved as the story progressed has been very well carried. I have to say, Endgame is one of those stories that, once you start reading it and let that small spark of interest get to you, you'll want to know how it will end.
I hope you continue it one day, as it would be a shame to leave this story unconcluded, and I know many would agree with me on that statement.
Thanks for your work and dedication, RyuaAlba.
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September 27, 2014 at 12:00 AM
when is there going to be an update to this!?
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July 12, 2014 at 12:00 AM
Please, do not stop!!! I love this story SOOOO much! I can't wait to see what Ganon has in store for them when they get home. My imagination is running wild and dirty. Please update soon!!! <3
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June 22, 2014 at 12:00 AM
Oh my God, I think I love you.
This latest chapter was so torrid and deliciously physical. It was like rain breaking out over a desert.
I eagerly await more.
This latest chapter was so torrid and deliciously physical. It was like rain breaking out over a desert.
I eagerly await more.
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June 14, 2014 at 12:00 AM
This is amazing! Please continue.... Dare I hope for a foursome? ;)
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January 23, 2014 at 12:00 AM
I really enjoyed reading every chapter thus far.
My only complaint is that I'm surprised (disappointed?) that Ganondorf hasn't had sex with Link yet.
Other than that detail, entertaining story.
My only complaint is that I'm surprised (disappointed?) that Ganondorf hasn't had sex with Link yet.
Other than that detail, entertaining story.
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January 22, 2014 at 12:00 AM
Soooo good :) keep it up, love the detailing
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January 13, 2014 at 12:00 AM
Oooh, this is great. I love the way Ganondorf just kinda...forms himself into being with them and how they slowly accept him. The only problem I have is...well, with the Ordons. Especially Mayor Bo, whose daughter was raped and is now missing? I think there'd be a bit more...morose and anger there but that could be something that comes up later. I can't wait to see where else this goes.
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January 13, 2014 at 12:00 AM
Enjoying the read so far.