schedule
February 12, 2013 at 12:00 AM
What is life but transient moments emerging and returning into emptiness?
Although the fragments from which your fic is composed seem to me more like pears forming the garland of Jak and Daxter's life, each bead showcasing the moments left unsaid in the games. The more I read the fic, the more I feel about these moments of the Dynamic Duo's life. In my opinion, you captured the innocence of their childhood well and incredibly sincere; and the last part showed realistically what could hide beneath Jak's adult body armour.
Also, certain parts of your work - especially the middle - gives hint about movements and possible events that happen outside the narrative, which, IMO, is a great thing, as it allows to speculate more about what's happening in the world of the heroes.
I must say that the grammar and sentence structure is amazingly clear for a fic written in one day. I wish I had that kind of ability...
Although the fragments from which your fic is composed seem to me more like pears forming the garland of Jak and Daxter's life, each bead showcasing the moments left unsaid in the games. The more I read the fic, the more I feel about these moments of the Dynamic Duo's life. In my opinion, you captured the innocence of their childhood well and incredibly sincere; and the last part showed realistically what could hide beneath Jak's adult body armour.
Also, certain parts of your work - especially the middle - gives hint about movements and possible events that happen outside the narrative, which, IMO, is a great thing, as it allows to speculate more about what's happening in the world of the heroes.
I must say that the grammar and sentence structure is amazingly clear for a fic written in one day. I wish I had that kind of ability...
schedule
January 15, 2013 at 12:00 AM
D'awww, I really love this one!
The concept of the very first time Jak and Dax met is one I really dig. There are a thousand probable scenarios that these two cuties could go through. I know the idea of Dax losing his family isn't new, but I don't think I've ever heard it proposed that his entire village might have been lost, poor kid. Good thing he's got Jak now to keep him happy and safe.
Nice work!
The concept of the very first time Jak and Dax met is one I really dig. There are a thousand probable scenarios that these two cuties could go through. I know the idea of Dax losing his family isn't new, but I don't think I've ever heard it proposed that his entire village might have been lost, poor kid. Good thing he's got Jak now to keep him happy and safe.
Nice work!