schedule
April 16, 2014 at 12:00 AM
I rarely review. But this needs one major edit:
Reading giant blocks of text is tiring to the human brain. Break up the paragraphs, especially when there are multiple people conversing. Each of your paragraphs should be at least a quarter of the size they currently are.
Other than that, looks decent. Just really hard to read.
Reading giant blocks of text is tiring to the human brain. Break up the paragraphs, especially when there are multiple people conversing. Each of your paragraphs should be at least a quarter of the size they currently are.
Other than that, looks decent. Just really hard to read.
schedule
November 16, 2012 at 12:00 AM
Okay, This is acually really good, but it also sucks so bad!!! You need to break up your paragraphs!!! No one likes looking as a giant block of text!!!
Here's a basic rule of paragraphs, every time the speaker changes... START A NEW PARAGRAPH!!!!! by not doing so, the text becomes dense, blocky and virtually unreadable unless you put your finger to the screen and follow the line of text with your finger. It is just PAINFUL to read, which sucks because this is SUCH A GOOD STORY!!!
-Khaos
Here's a basic rule of paragraphs, every time the speaker changes... START A NEW PARAGRAPH!!!!! by not doing so, the text becomes dense, blocky and virtually unreadable unless you put your finger to the screen and follow the line of text with your finger. It is just PAINFUL to read, which sucks because this is SUCH A GOOD STORY!!!
-Khaos
schedule
October 7, 2012 at 12:00 AM
Great story so far. Really interested to see more and see what other things can arise in this. Good job.