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September 6, 2012 at 12:00 AM
OMGYAYSQUEEE!
Okay, now that the fangirl squeal is out of the way...
This is probably the most intense scene you've written to date. One thing I love is the way the sentences flow in an awkward, dizzying fashion. It lends another nuance to the scene. Reading this over for you, it was hard not going "Ew! Attack of the run-ons!" It helps convey Nathaniel's mental state and drew me in deeper into the scene.
Great work, Sis! Love you!
Okay, now that the fangirl squeal is out of the way...
This is probably the most intense scene you've written to date. One thing I love is the way the sentences flow in an awkward, dizzying fashion. It lends another nuance to the scene. Reading this over for you, it was hard not going "Ew! Attack of the run-ons!" It helps convey Nathaniel's mental state and drew me in deeper into the scene.
Great work, Sis! Love you!