rate_review Reviews

Real Life Syndrome hit hard, huh = ) Happy to see an update, though I had to jog the memory a little to remember recent details. Reading this latest chapter I have this feeling that the tone of the story has changed, though I can't quite explain it. It has this feel to it as though the story is approaching it's endgame, or perhaps just the end of an arc?. The degree of Samus' suffering up to this current point is put into perspective and I honestly have no idea if she'll be able to endure anymore. Then again, Ridley has new playthings to hand, so maybe Samus will have some sort of reprieve. Also good to Mia Xen out of the clutches of the Kriken proper; I had to smile at her 'what would Samus do now?' moment, because well...

Stop doing this to her. It is not anything new. It is not daring or edgy. All I feel is hatred for you for putting Samus through this, and disgust as an author for seeing another author treating a badass female in this fashion. Putting women in distress is not new or avante-garde, its been done to death. And having this happen to Samus over and over isn't erotic or interesting, its a thirty minute endurance fest I'm forced to put up with. Just let her kick Mother Brain's ass already. Why the hell has nobody shown up to investigate this?

One thing I'm curious about: how do you go about constructing Ridley's speech? Is there a particular pattern to where you break up his words? If there is, it's eluding me, though it is interesting.

So, if Melissa hadn't recalled Sylux - I think that's what she did, right? - I would pretty much be thinking that Samus is finished (but even then, what can Sylux achieve?). How relentless of you not to give her any respite between Brannigan and Ridley. I now see what you meant about things becoming progressively darker, a promise made particularly poignant by lines like this: 'She wept and tried to focus her mind on that, swimming through agony to cling to the comfort of rape'. You know, when the character gets to a point so low that such thoughts come about...well, I have to wonder what state Samus' mind is in at this point. She's responding to Brannigan's commands without the influence of Kaayes, and as aforementioned is given no time between Brannigan and Ridley to recollect herself. Is she finally broken at this point, or will she be in the near future?

Also, about those commands...no idea if any other readers feel the same, but this interaction between Ridley/Samus was decidedly un-arousing - and I say that as a good thing. It's interesting that with Brannigan, the circumstance got me all hot and bothered whereas the way in which Ridley is using the commands produces a feeling that's...not quite revulsion. I'm not quite sure how to word it. Imagine that I'm wincing with each cut Ridley makes; whatever word describes that is how I feel.

Lastly, and perhaps a minor point, but it does seem odd to me that both Samus/Ridley would know what Ling Chi is. That's waaaay back in human history (if Wikipedia isn't lying to me) and I'm just wondering how either party would have come into that knowledge. I'm just nitpicking with smaller details there; it's something that can easily be ignored. Though perhaps it might have been better to ascribe a Chozo/Zebesian or some other alien language's word to the same act, just so that it relates more readily to the space the characters inhabit. I'd also love if you could keep up this rate of updates, but that probably isn't feasible for you, is it? (Real Life, argh!)

I have to say, Keaton's almost insensible calm whilst being hunted down by Sylux is quite amusing. Wonder if he'll be able to work his mind magic again.

I was wondering if Melissa would intervene in the standoff between Brannigan and Ridley - I've no doubt that she's been watching him. Still, I'm curious as to what she's been getting up to, as we haven't seen her for a few chapters. I'm sure she'd have something to say regarding how easily (and cruelly) Ridley dealt with Brannigan.

Now that Brannigan is dead, I admit that I've no inclination as to what you're going to do with Ridley/Samus now. I don't know about anyone else, but for me, Brannigan's end seemed to signify a possible marked shift in the tone of the story, namely because I don't think Ridley will be using sex/pleasure as a weapon against Samus. But then again, I could very easily be wrong. What would repulse Samus more than to be driven to pleasure by the murderer of her family - biological and adopted - and the destroyer of her home? Hmm, we'll see I guess.

As to Mia Xen...at last, she is free! But is she walking herself back into the control of the Kriken/Kaayes by going to take out the ship's weapon systems? I hope not. It's good to see her back to her senses and in control of her actions/choices, and it's definitely time for her to be more than the Krikens' pet.

Aw man, you can't end it there! Guess that's why the chapter is titled 'Hook' though, huh.

I love how Samus' manner changes the moment Ridley puts in his appearance, how he makes her forget her circumstance entirely until she is forcefully reminded of it. Brannigan is immediately forgotten, pushed to the sidelines, and it's only Samus and Ridley that matter. Of course, this is not so, and Brannigan reasserts himself - or tries to, because both Ridley and Samus know that Brannigan's 'business' with her is finished. It's over as soon as Ridley addresses Brannigan without looking at him, even though he is standing above Samus in a position of power. Also interesting is the structure of Ridley's speech, which I assume is intentional. I can't seem to find a consistent pattern within it just yet, unlike the speech patterns of the Kaayes and Kriken.

Been a while since we've seen Mia Xen, and it looks like she is well and truly under the Krikens' spell. I had to smile at this though: 'C'mon... w-what would S-samus do?' Well, right now? Samus wouldn't be able to do much. In comparison I suppose, Mia doesn't know how good she has it.

I...I don't even know what to say. The opening to this chapter...damn, you nearly had me reaching for tissues! Explaining the commands that Brannigan uses in the prior chapter was definitely a good decision, because everything that happens in this one just becomes all the more vivid because of it. And when I say vivid...okay, calm down. (I am so going back to re-read that when I've finished this review.)

It's very interesting to see what's going on in Samus' head. I like that you set up for her trying to refute the idea that Brannigan is her 'master', but yet the slip of the tongue occurs anyway. It seems that it's harder for her to think of him as 'enemy' in comparison. The reality that she inhabits is slowly but surely becoming only that which Brannigan wants her to see. His control over her appears to be absolute, and he is gradually breaking her down, giving her no space or time to recollect herself.

As Samus mentions herself, if she had but a moment to herself, a moment to think with actual clarity, Brannigan would be finished. He knows this as well as she does. So, while it may seem as though he is absolutely dominant over her, I personally see a hint of tension. If Brannigan gives her the room to breathe, he has doomed himself. But perhaps he is already doomed; Ridley is here.

I am very curious to see how Ridley will react to the circumstance Brannigan has trapped Samus in. She is the only being worthy of being called his equal, and Brannigan has felled her. However, will Ridley respect the manner in which he has done so? Somehow, I doubt it. Ridley deals in blood and violence, and Brannigan hasn't and likely could never beat Samus if they fought one another on a level playing field. We'll see, I suppose. Part of me yearns to see more of Brannigan's torture of Samus, and another wants to see him get his incredibly violent comeuppance (I hope it's incredibly violent :P).

Lastly, I keep feeling bad for ignoring this aspect of the story in reviews because the scenes with Samus are so engaging, but with Keaton being able to influence Sylux as a Kaaye would - even for a moment...is this suggestive of something later down the line? Because I would think that Melissa would want to bring Sylux under her thumb considering the power he can wield. Or am I reading too much into it?

Will you quit doing this to her?! It's not erotic. It's just stupid and out of character and a waste if a kickass female. This isn't princess freaking peach we are talking about here!

What was it this time then, writer's block or real life? Both, perhaps? Ha, either way it's good to see an update. It's certainly been a while.

I don't necessarily have much to say here. I enjoyed the chapter, and despite the gap between this one and the last, it was fairly easy to get back into the swing of things, so to speak. I so suppose the thing that I missed from this is that we didn't get to see anything from Melissa's POV. I'm curious to know why she is reacting - if at all - to Brannigan's treatment of Samus.

That, by the way, was handled pretty well. There is a sense of true hopelessness to her situation, to the point where I caught myself thinking 'Damn. Is this it for her? Has she finally lost?' But then comes that little moment near the end of the scene, where she holds on just barely to her sense of self, and it makes me think that perhaps there is light at the end of the tunnel. A long, dark tunnel. I don't think you're ready to give Samus her freedom and vengeance just yet, amirite?

Actually read your latest update the week it came out but I was in a reclusive state, swamped with real world chores and drained of creative juices (actual creativity, not the other kind of 'juices' hehe).

The amount of despair being inflicted upon Samus really hits home this chapter. I must say I was a little sad to see her finally give up but I agree that everyone has their breaking point, and Samus has already proven her inhuman resilience.

An excellent chapter and definitely in my top two favorite chapters, the other one being the cave bondage arc. I'll post a more in depth review and suggestions in the forums.

I look forward to the continuation of this piece, and hope you'll update it with more rigor than I myself have displayed.

Hmm, would that be Ridley coming back from the dead yet again? Can't think of anything else with the kind of description offered, though I find it strange that Melissa reacted the way she did if it is indeed Ridley. And it appears to be that people quite liking making pets for themselves in this universe, huh. Samus, Mia Xen, the as of yet unnamed man Melissa keeps around...wonder which of them will find their senses again first.