AFF Fiction Portal

rate_review Reviews

for The Line Begins to Blur

by VirusVescichetta

person The 'Hardened' Avenger
schedule December 5, 2011 at 12:00 AM
What you call random junk, i call a masterpiece. Its all so fluid, scenes, dialogue and characters acting in a manner that actually made me feel like i was there. (Listen to that load of mysticism) Overall, VERY good. I'll scan your works in a minute (If you've done anything else, that is) After (obviously eventually) banging Camilla (and maybe rubbing it in both the Nord and Elfs faces) i'd suggest a little travel down the road to Whiterun, in which we meet a female Companion (of your choosing) who foolishly decided to go fight a giant by herself. After lending a hand in bringing down the behemoth, the Argonoan does the morally correct (and annoying) thing and nurses her back to health (this time entirely up to you) No sex or anything, just a suggestion for seeding both another lady, and someone to vouch for him when he goes to the companions (if the story goes there) Well, i'm done. Thanks for the story and bless your patience (and willingness to take 'some' requests/suggestions) Kudos, i'll be keeping an eye on this.
schedule December 5, 2011 at 12:00 AM
I'm not the best when it comes to well-worded reviews, so I'll be blunt: This is great. Your character is witty, you involve all the mundane actions of the game(which is a plus for those of us who love it), and most importantly DON'T USE TERRIBLE GRAMMAR(No, I'm not a grammar nazi. I'm a grammar stormtrooper.) As far as story progression goes, the Theives Guild seems the most logical choice(to me, at least), but it is ultimately up to you. And if this story continues like it has, I shall not be disappointed.

Can't wait for the next chapter, but take your time. Never rush perfection.
schedule December 5, 2011 at 12:00 AM
Boy, am I glad this has been updated. Kailev-Tel's still funny, and the thought of him hooking up with Camilla through questing or general sneakiness is something to look forward to!
person Those Argonians
schedule December 2, 2011 at 12:00 AM
Nice to meet a fellow Skyrim player who enjoys the use of Argonians as much as i do, and for the same reasons. Requests or no, i wouldnt mind seeing our dovahkiin going up and at 'em with that girl who asks for mammoth tusks in Whiterun. Thats all i really can point out (besides taking a kajiit caravaner and 'plowing the fields and planting the seeds') Well there 'was' that Jarl of Solitude but god knows how you'll make THAT happen. Everyone else just seems like fair game. Looking forward to more, you're writing style is very interesting.
person Anon
schedule December 2, 2011 at 12:00 AM
Looks pretty damn good so far, should be interesting to see what kind of characters you go for in each chapter.
person Anon
schedule December 2, 2011 at 12:00 AM
You should definitely go for Derkeethus as one of the partners. Yes, he's a guy in the game, but in the lore Argonians can apparently shift gender. So, there's that.

There's also that nord woman who you're asked to look for who turns out to be a bandit chief. Says something about 'repayment' if you help her convince her (ex)husband she died. Could be an interesting one, rather than just going for Lydia like every writer and their budgerigar.
schedule December 2, 2011 at 12:00 AM
I'll definitely be keeping an eye on this. You captured the tone of the opening pretty much perfectly, and our dashing (and sarcastic) Argonian hero was a treat to read about.

If you're looking for suggestions, I'd love to see him with Ysolde, or Jenassa, the Dunmer mercenary from the Drunken Huntsman in Whiterun.