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December 2, 2015 at 12:00 AM
1. Kyo is completely hilariously out of character. If he was going to act like that much of a chick, you might as well have made his role Athena or something.
2. STOP SPEAKING JAPANESE!! No one cares that you have a basic understanding of the language and know a few words, it's stupid when characters speak a different language in a story for no apparent reason (to/in the story) other than for the author to show off or thinks it's cool. Yes, the characters are Japanese, but if you were going to be serious and dedicated, they would ONLY speak Japanese, not mix the two languages, something they would have no reason to do since all the characters interacting are Japanese. Nevermind that you don't bother to tell readers that do not speak the language what any of those words mean, which instantly can take a reader out of the story and makes you look like a weeboo.
2. STOP SPEAKING JAPANESE!! No one cares that you have a basic understanding of the language and know a few words, it's stupid when characters speak a different language in a story for no apparent reason (to/in the story) other than for the author to show off or thinks it's cool. Yes, the characters are Japanese, but if you were going to be serious and dedicated, they would ONLY speak Japanese, not mix the two languages, something they would have no reason to do since all the characters interacting are Japanese. Nevermind that you don't bother to tell readers that do not speak the language what any of those words mean, which instantly can take a reader out of the story and makes you look like a weeboo.
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February 14, 2012 at 12:00 AM
I hope you continue this!
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January 2, 2011 at 12:00 AM
You decided to do a sequel! AWESOME! I love your stories and especially the KOF Kyo/Iori and I hope you decide to continue! I look forward for the second chapter.