rate_review Reviews

UPDATE!!!!!!!!!

Your story does need a little polish. You tend to skip passed good opportunities to tell us more about your character(s). For instance, when they're down in the basement hunting for Jowan's phylactery you could give us a little more insight into Kai's thoughts. Is he conflicted about the choice he made? Or does he think it was the right thing? Your writing tends to just be: "He went there. He did this." Tell us how your character feels about what he's doing, about what he's seen, etc. Tell us why your character does the things he does.