rate_review Reviews

you are a great writer, you know that right???

I liked this story quite a bit. It's a little on the short side, but you could always go back and add more to it if you felt so inclined. Some of the descriptions seemed unlike Albert (the hip hop reference comes to mind. I can't see Wesker enjoying that type of music, or be attracted the artists). The hyphens distracted me a little by unintentionally created a stop-go-type of effect that I think hurt you a bit. It's my preference though, so take that crit with a grain of salt. You might want to try commas instead of the hyphens, or periods. You'd be surprised how many hyphens you don't really need.

But I like the overall tone, Wesker's musings on Rebecca's slow pencil retrieval, her little "show" at the end. Your descriptions added depth, but didn't weigh the content down in details. You kept things to the point, limited your adverbs. You have skill, and I hope to see more from you in this section.

Delicious! The ending line really gave the entire story some oomph. It was hot, and the description was very well done, just enough to give a clear picture, while not taking anything away from the story. Simply amazing.

Short, but good. I like it.