schedule
January 7, 2010 at 12:00 AM
Oh nice, and sweet and tender. I like how you kept it vague enough that people could insert their characters as the female warden. It needs a space between paragraphs though to make it more readable. You seem to be a good enough writer that you probably know that. Maybe adultfantiction.net messed up your formatting when you uploaded?
schedule
December 9, 2009 at 12:00 AM
I’m speechless.I particularly enjoyed some lines:
-“ He can feel her warmth through her shirt and suddenly decides that he needs to become king, if only to ban this gorgeous creature from ever wearing clothes in his presence.”
It suits him well!:p
-“Oh, but he is inside her, and around her, and under her, and he cannot quite believe that such a sensation is frowned upon by the Chantry, because this is as close to the Maker as a mortal can be”
-“She is clinging to him like a drowning sailor lost on the high seas as he plunges deeper into her, her cries more and more frantic as all-out passion consumes her”
This was a striking comparison.
<3 !!!!
-“ He can feel her warmth through her shirt and suddenly decides that he needs to become king, if only to ban this gorgeous creature from ever wearing clothes in his presence.”
It suits him well!:p
-“Oh, but he is inside her, and around her, and under her, and he cannot quite believe that such a sensation is frowned upon by the Chantry, because this is as close to the Maker as a mortal can be”
-“She is clinging to him like a drowning sailor lost on the high seas as he plunges deeper into her, her cries more and more frantic as all-out passion consumes her”
This was a striking comparison.
<3 !!!!