rate_review Reviews

Truthfully, I have to tell you that your writing (in the smut department, at least) could be better. But I'd like you to keep three things in mind with that:

1. It could also have been much worse.
2. I'm not exactly here for the writing.
3. There have been fics that caused me to stop reading right in the middle of the smut. This was good enough that I was willing to read both chapters.

(Just please, never use the word "netherlips" again. This one fic reviewer said it sounded like the name of a comic book supervillain, and that was all I was able to think about after you said it.)

As for ideas: I'm open to both a good and a bad ending. On the one hand, it'd be awesome to see the Concubine get them both at the same time, and have them give in (or one give in while the other tries to hold out in vain). On the other hand, actual sex between the Prince and Elika after defeating the Concubine would also be good.

Oooh...I really liked chapter 2. You could have them do the actual deed in chapter 3. And keep it longish like chapter 2 was.

I'm eagerly waiting for your next installment!

p.s. This is the second M pairing fic I've read with these 2 characters. Pity. We need more!

I really like this, keep going. It seems that for the third chapter you pretty much have to have them finally have 'intercourse'.