rate_review Reviews

Was trying to re-read your excellent fic Mog but I've noticed the text has gone weird. Any chance you could fix it?

Good story, I liked it! Maybe you will come back to it some day! :)

I would try to avoid using all caps, even when they are excited - you need to express that excitement in words, not with a shift key. Like you did with this line: "A furious passion, finally unbound, had erupted with a smoldering and thunderous might that dwarfed Hephaestus’ mighty forge." That's actually well done, and a good use of Greek myth that totally fits the characters.

And psh! I don't mind she kept her panties on the first chapter. He was a virgin, they're committing incest, hey sometimes leaving some clothes on is hot! First timers and virgins, very tasty story! :)

Ignore the last part of my previous comment, I managed to miss the line about Lucius putting the crushed pills in a pitcher of water in an earlier scene. My bad!

This is great so far. Who'd have thought anyone could make an awesome dry-humping scene?

Sophitia's behaviour in chapter one is a bit weird though. She listens to Lucius' confession of getting off watching her and Cassandra bathe before asking him for a massage... and she doesn't think that'd be awkward for either of them?

That's just something that irked me, otherwise, pretty flawless so far.

Dude, can't tell you how glad I am to see you're finally updating this one... definitely worth the wait. But please please post the next part (and the many, many chapters thereafter) much quicker.

Full on sex with no panties! Come on!
SailorNemesis

Even Cassandra wants to fuck Sophitia. She´s that hot.

Awesome work, but I hope the next threesome scene doesn´t take eight months to write.

Definitely beyond what I would expect in a first story, your attention to craft and quality here is really impressive and hope you'll be continuing it soon. That said, I think you lose a little of the tension and slow build of the earlier scenes when you reach the point of consummation, to the point that I think the bathing scene is probably twice as the actual love scene. But this a minor concern compared to how strong this is as a first showing; you seriously can't update this soon enough. (A lot more Cassandra next time, right?)

I liked this one alot, had a good solid story line. Would realy like to see you continue.

Great stuff so far. I really hope you update soon