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May 1, 2010 at 12:00 AM
Woah, I totally missed that there was a second chapter to this fic! Chapter 2's hotter than the first! Evann tickling Myam from behind is a creative and effective way to get the spark started. Your descriptions really make this a sexy lemon.
Great drama with the characters, too. I once made the same sort of mistake as Evann(she wasn't _in love_ with me, but it was a similar situation), and I've taken care not to make it again. Sex means more than Evann and Carmyne think, and people can get hurt. I really hope it does work out with Evann and Myam together, though, I like that couple.
Once again, great story and terrific lemon! Hope we see more of this.
Great drama with the characters, too. I once made the same sort of mistake as Evann(she wasn't _in love_ with me, but it was a similar situation), and I've taken care not to make it again. Sex means more than Evann and Carmyne think, and people can get hurt. I really hope it does work out with Evann and Myam together, though, I like that couple.
Once again, great story and terrific lemon! Hope we see more of this.
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June 27, 2009 at 12:00 AM
This is very well written, delightfully hot, and just a bit humorous. I love how Carmyne talks and acts when she's drunk. You really handle the changes in her behavior well, without overdoing it. Evann's boyish reactions are well-done, too.
Just one thing: "He’d never felt someone else touch him, but while she had only taken hold of his manhood a second prior, he knew he liked it." is a much longer sentence than it needs to be. I'd just say "He’d never felt someone touch him before, but he immediately knew he liked it."
Anyway, great story, great lemon, and what a relief that at least one person on AFF took the time to write a story for Grandia Xtreme!
Just one thing: "He’d never felt someone else touch him, but while she had only taken hold of his manhood a second prior, he knew he liked it." is a much longer sentence than it needs to be. I'd just say "He’d never felt someone touch him before, but he immediately knew he liked it."
Anyway, great story, great lemon, and what a relief that at least one person on AFF took the time to write a story for Grandia Xtreme!