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March 13, 2009 at 12:00 AM
And so the plot had thickened and their is trouble about!
I truly dread the chapter that will break my heart and cause me to cry, assuming their is such a chapter.
I truly dread the chapter that will break my heart and cause me to cry, assuming their is such a chapter.
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March 2, 2009 at 12:00 AM
(Chapters 10 & 11)
I really don't know what professional words to use this time. All I can think of is "D'awwww".
But seriously, I still appreciate that the sexual content only serves as a character enhancer and not as the main goal. I've noticed that instead of focusing on great physical detail in those moments, we instead only read the details that affect the characters emotionally. Heh, maybe that was unintentional? But either way, it makes for a much more personal read.
Ah, to understand the enigma of love. Often painful, confusing, and clouded from view, yet tangible and right in front of our eyes. At its epicenter, love is a complex and beautiful beast, and it's nice to see these two experiencing the entire range of those complexities, however daunting it may be for them. Carry on!
I really don't know what professional words to use this time. All I can think of is "D'awwww".
But seriously, I still appreciate that the sexual content only serves as a character enhancer and not as the main goal. I've noticed that instead of focusing on great physical detail in those moments, we instead only read the details that affect the characters emotionally. Heh, maybe that was unintentional? But either way, it makes for a much more personal read.
Ah, to understand the enigma of love. Often painful, confusing, and clouded from view, yet tangible and right in front of our eyes. At its epicenter, love is a complex and beautiful beast, and it's nice to see these two experiencing the entire range of those complexities, however daunting it may be for them. Carry on!
schedule
March 2, 2009 at 12:00 AM
Thanks again for your comments!
On "intentionality": I'm a firm believer that you write what you need for the story, no more and no less. For example: I can't do a PG-rated version of Cross Blades, because the sexual encounters are such a pivotal part of the story. On the other hand, the sex scenes don't include information like how long their shafts are or how many times they get off in every given encounter, because those details don't help to advance the story, which is about an evolving relationship. What you see, needs to be there; sometimes it is to convey mood, sometimes to smooth over a possible plot hole, sometimes for information, and sometimes because it will be recurring later. Anything that doesn't need to be there is cut during edits.
You may consider that a mini-spoiler regarding such things as the sign in Fil's storeroom in chapter one or the introduction of Piro 'Kipaz in chapter four.
I cut a scene where Usze asks Nitro on a date. It was cute, but didn't advance the plot of the story or add anything important. It would have followed Chapter 11. I may release it later as a one-shot, where it can exist for its own sake, instead of being an unnecessary digression from Cross Blades' main storyline. (Conversely, N'tho's SpecOps-party invitation remained in, because I needed it to show how the night on Shadow of Intent was changing their relationship).
On graphicness/explicitness: I write what is called "tight third person." Imagine every scene is filmed by a camera held by a certain character--you see the scene from their point of view, so judgments, the kind of things they notice, etc is what that character would think/notice/etc. The language will express this too: N'tho's scenes, not just his words, are written in a more casual style than Usze's. For example, N'tho tends to think about sex as "fucking" due to his self-confidence issues, whereas Usze would describe the same thing as an "intimate encounter" because he's so exact, polite, and emotionally repressed, and neither of them would use the phrase "making love" at this point, N'tho because he doesn't feel he's worthy of love, Usze because he is not entirely sure what love is. Every scene in Cross Blades is seen from one of these two's points of view, which is why you never get to see inside the heads of, say, Fil Storamy or Ki 'Chaz. We only see how either Nitro or Uzi interpret what the other characters say and do.
Nitro talks/thinks with slang, and Usze talks/thinks very formally, but neither of them talks/thinks in a crude or exceptionally graphic manner. I can imagine a scene written from the point of view of, oh, say, Tartarus, would involve an extreme amount of crudeness, violent thoughts/descriptions, racism/sexism, and other general nastiness. Aj 'Qorop, the fleet's resident Dom, is not going to force himself on anyone, but he does tend to think in a very sexually explicit manner, and if I ever wrote a story with him as a point-of-view character, it would be reflected in what Aj notices in a scene.
And, for the record, Cross Blades' second half is in edits now, with the total ending up 20 chapters and an epilogue.
On "intentionality": I'm a firm believer that you write what you need for the story, no more and no less. For example: I can't do a PG-rated version of Cross Blades, because the sexual encounters are such a pivotal part of the story. On the other hand, the sex scenes don't include information like how long their shafts are or how many times they get off in every given encounter, because those details don't help to advance the story, which is about an evolving relationship. What you see, needs to be there; sometimes it is to convey mood, sometimes to smooth over a possible plot hole, sometimes for information, and sometimes because it will be recurring later. Anything that doesn't need to be there is cut during edits.
You may consider that a mini-spoiler regarding such things as the sign in Fil's storeroom in chapter one or the introduction of Piro 'Kipaz in chapter four.
I cut a scene where Usze asks Nitro on a date. It was cute, but didn't advance the plot of the story or add anything important. It would have followed Chapter 11. I may release it later as a one-shot, where it can exist for its own sake, instead of being an unnecessary digression from Cross Blades' main storyline. (Conversely, N'tho's SpecOps-party invitation remained in, because I needed it to show how the night on Shadow of Intent was changing their relationship).
On graphicness/explicitness: I write what is called "tight third person." Imagine every scene is filmed by a camera held by a certain character--you see the scene from their point of view, so judgments, the kind of things they notice, etc is what that character would think/notice/etc. The language will express this too: N'tho's scenes, not just his words, are written in a more casual style than Usze's. For example, N'tho tends to think about sex as "fucking" due to his self-confidence issues, whereas Usze would describe the same thing as an "intimate encounter" because he's so exact, polite, and emotionally repressed, and neither of them would use the phrase "making love" at this point, N'tho because he doesn't feel he's worthy of love, Usze because he is not entirely sure what love is. Every scene in Cross Blades is seen from one of these two's points of view, which is why you never get to see inside the heads of, say, Fil Storamy or Ki 'Chaz. We only see how either Nitro or Uzi interpret what the other characters say and do.
Nitro talks/thinks with slang, and Usze talks/thinks very formally, but neither of them talks/thinks in a crude or exceptionally graphic manner. I can imagine a scene written from the point of view of, oh, say, Tartarus, would involve an extreme amount of crudeness, violent thoughts/descriptions, racism/sexism, and other general nastiness. Aj 'Qorop, the fleet's resident Dom, is not going to force himself on anyone, but he does tend to think in a very sexually explicit manner, and if I ever wrote a story with him as a point-of-view character, it would be reflected in what Aj notices in a scene.
And, for the record, Cross Blades' second half is in edits now, with the total ending up 20 chapters and an epilogue.
schedule
February 25, 2009 at 12:00 AM
Excellent work, these are some of the best fics I have ever had the pleasure of reading! They are well written and their is so much attention to detail, truly inspirational works! I can only hope that you will keep creating these truly outstanding works of art and display them for all to read. Befor I depart from this board of reviews I must tell you that your magnificent works have brought forth a desire in the very core of my being to write my own fic. I hope it does not bother you to much but as a novice writer I look up to you and your amazing skills, it truly sets my heart ablaze!
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February 17, 2009 at 12:00 AM
(Chapter 9)
You don't seem capable of letting me down.
Not just in writing or character development, but in your understanding of unconditional emotion. I appreciate the mature moments being erotic, though not overly explicit. The actions are indirectly arousing and yet their strongest roles are as enhancers for the characters themselves and not simply for the benefit of the act. It would be easy to devolve these two into the common natures of blatant sex, but instead each breath, each and every touch, is graciously handled with a surgeon's care. There is tenderness here, a real opening of the minds between this pair, and honest attention to the power of expression through intimacy. As is most of life, this is as far away from ideal as one can get, and yet more beautiful than one can possibly imagine.
I'd be lying if I said this fic hasn't affected a portion of my life personally. Embarrassing as it is to admit, I can relate to Usze on a deep level, and my own ideals on love and intimacy, mistakes and imperfection, are all practically mirrored here. Great work, Fil. I look forward to more and hope Usze and N'tho thrive through whatever tribulations they encounter. Keep it up!
You don't seem capable of letting me down.
Not just in writing or character development, but in your understanding of unconditional emotion. I appreciate the mature moments being erotic, though not overly explicit. The actions are indirectly arousing and yet their strongest roles are as enhancers for the characters themselves and not simply for the benefit of the act. It would be easy to devolve these two into the common natures of blatant sex, but instead each breath, each and every touch, is graciously handled with a surgeon's care. There is tenderness here, a real opening of the minds between this pair, and honest attention to the power of expression through intimacy. As is most of life, this is as far away from ideal as one can get, and yet more beautiful than one can possibly imagine.
I'd be lying if I said this fic hasn't affected a portion of my life personally. Embarrassing as it is to admit, I can relate to Usze on a deep level, and my own ideals on love and intimacy, mistakes and imperfection, are all practically mirrored here. Great work, Fil. I look forward to more and hope Usze and N'tho thrive through whatever tribulations they encounter. Keep it up!
schedule
February 17, 2009 at 12:00 AM
Okay. Bizarre. They have this 'type the two words' function on the re:Captcha applet and my two words were 'gay loving'. Take from that what you will. XD
I wanted to say that this is so sweet. Poor Nitro, he's been the SpecOps' bitch for far too long, about time someone respected him as a warrior.
I wanted to say that this is so sweet. Poor Nitro, he's been the SpecOps' bitch for far too long, about time someone respected him as a warrior.
schedule
February 10, 2009 at 12:00 AM
(Chapter 8)
I.. am a living puddle of goo and it's all your fault. Someone has to scoop me off the floor. Worrying about the outcome of these two in their place in the war, it's been making me sweat bullets. N'tho and Usze would never discover anything if they didn't work to overcome the extremities of their flaws - or in Usze's case, his highly deliberating values that have been stifling his own sense of self. To see these perceptions slowly melt away between two very well defined characters, and the very deserving pair glimpsing what they've had all along, only now daring to share it.. makes my heart all aflutter =D
Thank you for keeping this far from the ideal trappings of common romance, and for understanding the intricacies and vulnerabilities of male relationships; or natural relationships in general that have no gender limitations, I should say. I can't call this fandom writing. It has nothing to do with a fandom, or pandering some slash fic, or focusing on homosexual pairings. These are living, breathing characters with very understandable issues and thoughts. You are somebody who knows how to write, knows how to express complex characters and situations that never end up exactly how you expect. It's done with utter genius. And it all feels natural.
And I love/hate you for it =D
I.. am a living puddle of goo and it's all your fault. Someone has to scoop me off the floor. Worrying about the outcome of these two in their place in the war, it's been making me sweat bullets. N'tho and Usze would never discover anything if they didn't work to overcome the extremities of their flaws - or in Usze's case, his highly deliberating values that have been stifling his own sense of self. To see these perceptions slowly melt away between two very well defined characters, and the very deserving pair glimpsing what they've had all along, only now daring to share it.. makes my heart all aflutter =D
Thank you for keeping this far from the ideal trappings of common romance, and for understanding the intricacies and vulnerabilities of male relationships; or natural relationships in general that have no gender limitations, I should say. I can't call this fandom writing. It has nothing to do with a fandom, or pandering some slash fic, or focusing on homosexual pairings. These are living, breathing characters with very understandable issues and thoughts. You are somebody who knows how to write, knows how to express complex characters and situations that never end up exactly how you expect. It's done with utter genius. And it all feels natural.
And I love/hate you for it =D
schedule
February 8, 2009 at 12:00 AM
How has nobody written a review on this?! I must first admit that my main priority was to seek out pornish fanfiction in relation to Elites *shame*. I hope you're glad to know that your story took someone with that mindset at the time and completely managed to engross him in your two Sangheili characters.
I've read this completely through (to its current chapter of seven) and can't praise it enough. I know very little of the details of the Halo universe and can only work off general knowledge, but your two characters have so completely enthralled me with their alien and yet humanized mannerisms, their obvious flaws and cracks over solid characterizations, and your ability to keep the focus amidst these two without straying too far. As of this moment, I care about every single detail in the clashing lives of "Nitro" and "Uzi", and hold bated breath for their future. From the shared disgust and pity I shared with Usze's initial outlook of N'tho to their slowly dissolving perceptions of each other melding into a very plausible and redemptive coming together, I feel as if I've traveled right alongside them for the entire journey that's been made so far.
I can only hope that the future of these two very relatable creatures' strange romance is bright (or at least as illuminated as possible), and I'll be on the edge of my seat waiting to find out. A very rare occurrence for one such as myself. Congratulations.
I've read this completely through (to its current chapter of seven) and can't praise it enough. I know very little of the details of the Halo universe and can only work off general knowledge, but your two characters have so completely enthralled me with their alien and yet humanized mannerisms, their obvious flaws and cracks over solid characterizations, and your ability to keep the focus amidst these two without straying too far. As of this moment, I care about every single detail in the clashing lives of "Nitro" and "Uzi", and hold bated breath for their future. From the shared disgust and pity I shared with Usze's initial outlook of N'tho to their slowly dissolving perceptions of each other melding into a very plausible and redemptive coming together, I feel as if I've traveled right alongside them for the entire journey that's been made so far.
I can only hope that the future of these two very relatable creatures' strange romance is bright (or at least as illuminated as possible), and I'll be on the edge of my seat waiting to find out. A very rare occurrence for one such as myself. Congratulations.