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September 8, 2014 at 12:00 AM
You sick sick f*ck for writing this. Get f*cking therapy you sick f*ck.
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September 12, 2013 at 12:00 AM
That was wonderful. Wish you have carried out that string of oneshots at some point :(
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June 8, 2010 at 12:00 AM
Hello!
In your other Mass Effect fanfiction you asked whether girls read your stories too, so I can confirm - yay, I'm a gal and I'm greatly enjoying rapefics all over adulfanfiction.net.
What I liked in this story is that you didn't make the main heroine orgasm all the time while being raped (although you wrote she felt 'pleasure' with pain when she woke up, come on, she just lost her virginity and was raped by a few guys, and she wakes up feeling pleasure?). An occasional mental humiliation (oh no, I'm enjoying it against my will etc) is ok, but I don't like when the writers write that the raped girls come all the time. It's just so unrealistic... plus, if I wanted to read about a girl having fun, I wouldn't be browsing rapefics. I want to read about a girl getting banged a lot!
Otherwise it's fine, I like many of your work (like the Fat Man Chronicles). That's an interesting thing, when you think about it, Lara is the heroine that's most likely to get raped.... I mean, Hermione Granger, Aeris or any other character doesn't have such high rape : con sex ratio in fanfics... I guess out of three sex stories she gets raped in two of them or more, hehe :P
In your other Mass Effect fanfiction you asked whether girls read your stories too, so I can confirm - yay, I'm a gal and I'm greatly enjoying rapefics all over adulfanfiction.net.
What I liked in this story is that you didn't make the main heroine orgasm all the time while being raped (although you wrote she felt 'pleasure' with pain when she woke up, come on, she just lost her virginity and was raped by a few guys, and she wakes up feeling pleasure?). An occasional mental humiliation (oh no, I'm enjoying it against my will etc) is ok, but I don't like when the writers write that the raped girls come all the time. It's just so unrealistic... plus, if I wanted to read about a girl having fun, I wouldn't be browsing rapefics. I want to read about a girl getting banged a lot!
Otherwise it's fine, I like many of your work (like the Fat Man Chronicles). That's an interesting thing, when you think about it, Lara is the heroine that's most likely to get raped.... I mean, Hermione Granger, Aeris or any other character doesn't have such high rape : con sex ratio in fanfics... I guess out of three sex stories she gets raped in two of them or more, hehe :P
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April 7, 2010 at 12:00 AM
Um...acidic womb? Sorry, but Element Zero exposure does not work that way. It seems that you had not read the in game information and that is sad. It would have saved you this flailing attempt.
First off, Asari who have not reached Matronhood are not too tight. They simply can not conceive through melding yet. Though melding often brings on the change faster.
Second, Biotics does not come from acidic wombs. The abilities come from Element Zero exposure in-utero. Most of the time it results in fatal cancers in the fetus, rarely it results in a person with biotic abilities. They are not useful until they get the implants that enhance the Mass Effect fields produced. FYI: Every Asari is a biotic. Some develop their abilities while others choose not to.
Third, Turians and Quarians for that matter have DNA based off of Dextro-Amino Acids where as every other race is based off of Leino-Amino Acids. This means that any sexual encounter between Turians and Humans is fraught with danger. If any fluid from one is ingested by another it could result in a fatal allergic reaction. Even between Turians and Asari. Remember, Asari conceive through linking their nervous systems with another.
Fourth, you need to work on how you write emotional reactions. No matter what species, a woman raped is going to be emotionally distraught. She is not going to ask herself how many times she was violated with the exact same tone she would use to ask herself if she left the oven on.
Please play the game or read more because it is painfully obvious that you haven't been paying attention at all.
First off, Asari who have not reached Matronhood are not too tight. They simply can not conceive through melding yet. Though melding often brings on the change faster.
Second, Biotics does not come from acidic wombs. The abilities come from Element Zero exposure in-utero. Most of the time it results in fatal cancers in the fetus, rarely it results in a person with biotic abilities. They are not useful until they get the implants that enhance the Mass Effect fields produced. FYI: Every Asari is a biotic. Some develop their abilities while others choose not to.
Third, Turians and Quarians for that matter have DNA based off of Dextro-Amino Acids where as every other race is based off of Leino-Amino Acids. This means that any sexual encounter between Turians and Humans is fraught with danger. If any fluid from one is ingested by another it could result in a fatal allergic reaction. Even between Turians and Asari. Remember, Asari conceive through linking their nervous systems with another.
Fourth, you need to work on how you write emotional reactions. No matter what species, a woman raped is going to be emotionally distraught. She is not going to ask herself how many times she was violated with the exact same tone she would use to ask herself if she left the oven on.
Please play the game or read more because it is painfully obvious that you haven't been paying attention at all.
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November 23, 2009 at 12:00 AM
this is a good story the only thing i didn't like is the fact the only mention of whats happening to ashley is noise coming from the other room. although the reality of eden prime was good more ashley rape fics would be awesome
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September 15, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Very good. It would have been nice if you had described what Jane looked like, but I guess you wanted to leave that up to the reader's imagination. The way Liara removed herself from her surroundings was a nice touch, as was Ashley being traumatized afterwards instead of just continuing to be a stalwart soldier... the poor thing. :)